glenn maxwell, 1955 - 1997

[the trebmeister]

glenn's been dead for over 10 years.  in late 1996 i met his parents and a few other friends at methodist hospital where glenn had been taken because he was unable to breathe.   mrs. maxwell tearfully whispered the doctor told her glenn would be dead within a year.  i maintained my facade and greeted glenn as if he'd just had a minor slip & fall.   over the next 6 months glenn withered and died, undergoing IV amphotericin b 3 times a week, which made his life hell but was all that kept him alive.  in late june i was scheduled to attend the american library association conference in san francisco.  when i dropped glenn off at his parent's home that last saturday i knew we would never see each other again.  i went anyway.  when i returned to my hotel room that sunday, after the s.f gay pride parade, the light on the telephone indicating i had a message was all i had to see.  his parents decided to have the service the next day so there was no easy way for me to get home.   i visited his grave once but such gestures are irrelevant if he is still a part of my un/conscious life.  he is still alive in my heart and memories.

glenn and i were born at touro infirmary 3 days apart in 1955 and i've sometimes wondered if our paths crossed then as they did years later.   he was the closest i have ever come to a real lover although our relationship was non-sexual.  he is the only person with whom i laughed as much and had as much fun.  our odd senses of humor were so compatible he could start off a remark and i could finish it and vice versa.   we loved idiotic word-association games and often engaged in play to the bemusement (and sometimes amusement) of those around us, ranging from complete strangers to friends and family.

i wish i'd gone with him.  he did not live to see his new orleans destroyed in 2005.  his dear mom is in bad health and lives in slidell, louisiana, a commuter suburb across lake pontchartrain.  currently i have no car and my driving license expired in 2008.  our only other mutual friend Bob is still recovering from a gun shot to the face on 11/3/2007 and couldn't drive 10 feet even if his license wasn't expired.  screw it all -- this week i'm taking the 756 hour bus ride to the DMV to renew my license, then renting a car in the next few weeks.     

the only digital picture of glenn i could find is only his back, wearing my hot orange dress on halloween night 1996.  i'd never have been able to squeeze into it anyway.  except for a b-52s concert we attended in december, 1996 that was the last time glenn felt well enough to sojourn outside of our own cozy private existences.   as hard as 1997 was for glenn he held on to life as long as possible, despite the ampho-terrible b and slow atrophy of internal organs.   those last weekends together are forever part of me. 

whimper, simper, and whine, llc

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