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Main Forums => Positive Women => Topic started by: lina76 on March 27, 2011, 07:10:08 am

Title: Newly diagnosed
Post by: lina76 on March 27, 2011, 07:10:08 am
I'm newly diagnosed mum of 2 on 23rd dec 2010.I got divorced mid 2009  and got a new relationship after 3months. I got this guy and straight away i told him we go for a Hiv test,he told me that he had already done his according to his profession.Silly me,i thought that fine then.I decided to do mine which turned negative and i shown him the results.

I decided to pursue with the relationship and after a months i started to have doubts on him coz he started to have excuses that he's busy coz he was disappearing for a while and then come back after wks. So i felt that i should end the relationship coz it was going nowhere coz this guy his interest was to have sex and bogus excuses that he's busy.

So mid 2010 i felt sick,fatigue,nausea,sight probs,depression,i got better after a wk.Then 2wks later i had a rash all over my face and was soo suspicious that my friends were asking me what have i done to my face,i thought maybe i had changed the cream or has an allergy reaction.

I called the guy to ask him when he did his last HIv test, he said don't worry about it that he's fine i shouln't worry.I told him that i'll go for a test soon and i will let him know my results. He then asked me why are you doing the tests for? I told him its for my healthcare profession.

My ex-husband came from nowhere asking me if i can give him another chance,i told him fine then lets go for the HIV test. So on 23rd Dec 2010 we did the tests,mine came positive and his negative.I was devasted,confused and my head clicked why!why !why did the guy lie to me all along? I gave him all my trust and he has caused me this pain. I decided to call to tell him about my results, and guess what guys,he Never Never Never picked up his phone. So thats when i said OMG.......

Right now i'm mentally disturbed raising my 2kids under 6yrs,studies,depression,lonely and more.My so called ex husband treats me so bad,calling me all sorts of words and getting support for me i don't see it working for me.
I was asked if i can take a legal action against the guy but told them that it cannot do any good for me but the guy will continue infecting young women who will end up as me.

Right now i'm fighting soo hard to get my normal life back,i'm not concentrating on my studies at all nor informed any of my family members for support.

My cd4 was 370 vl 42000 and now cd4 330 vl34000,i'm supposed to start my meds but my mental status could not allow me..

Guys i'll be happy to hear for you.
Title: Re: Newly diagnosed
Post by: TabooPrincess on March 27, 2011, 03:46:24 pm
Hey Lina - it's a sad story but all too common it seems.  Glad you found us.  How are things with your ex-husband, have you decided to try things again?  Try not to hold too much anger against the guy who infected you, it'll only eat you up - I know it's hard not to but it just causes more stress. 

What country are you in?  I'm in UK.  Hope to hear from you again and keep strong xx
Title: Re: Newly diagnosed
Post by: lina76 on March 28, 2011, 02:55:24 pm
Thanks@Taboo. I'm in Uk too,my ex-husband we never talk anymore and i don't think he loved me anyway,i feel he had his own intentions afterall.

I'm trying all my best to move on but it's never easy at all. I pray soo hard that God will give me strength to get through depression and not to give up on everything.

thanks in advance
Title: Re: Newly diagnosed
Post by: Sweet_C on March 29, 2011, 02:04:33 pm
OMG, what a jerk!  I know that was a tough pill to swallow.

I agree with Taboo.  I wouldn't dwell on that guy because it will just bring you down.  Focus on your future and not on the past, since you can't change it at this point.  That guy will get his one day.

It is hard dealing with this illness at times, but it is still possible to have a great life in spite of everything.  Keep your head up!  :)
Title: Re: Newly diagnosed
Post by: lina76 on March 29, 2011, 02:20:42 pm
Thanks guys for your support..I will try my best to get through this stress levels  having hopes that my life i'll be back to normal soon.

I will be happy to hear from you. @Sweetyc and Taboo
Title: Re: Newly diagnosed
Post by: PrettyHeart on March 30, 2011, 12:23:40 am
What goes around, comes around so karma will definately get that man!

I'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I was diagnosed Dec. 22, 2010

Title: Re: Newly diagnosed
Post by: BT65 on March 30, 2011, 04:24:51 am
Hey Lina, welcome to our women's family!  I was diagnosed 21 years ago, and am doing well.  I work full-time, and did finish a 4-yr degree.  It wasn't always like that in my life (I was very, very ill for quite awhile), but life does straighten itself out, as long as you just hang in there. 

I was most likely infected by my 1st husband.  Was I angry?  Well, he died when I was in treatment for drugs abuse, so I was actually angrier that he died, and just left me.  I had always knew he was seeing other people on the side, and that he dabbled in IV drug use.  But, I didn't ask him to wear a condom, so there you have it. 

I agree with the others, don't dwell too long on the anger.  If you're having a really tough time, I would say maybe see a counselor, and get some professional help.  It's nothing to be ashamed of.  Just keep going, one foot in front of the other.  We're here.

 L-
Betty
Title: Re: Newly diagnosed
Post by: Malinka on April 02, 2011, 05:03:30 am
 Hi Lina! (I love your name..very pretty :D )  I am also a mother.. my son is an energetic toddler!! I am sorry that your trust was betrayed like that.  Good news is, you found out before you became too,too sick. Also, you are living in a country that is up to date on treatment and everything..
I hope you feel better.. the best thing, I find, is to do things that make you happy.... do the happy, healthy things you were doing before you found out you were poz. Not only will it help to take your mind off things, but you'll realize that life goes on just fine.  Take care!!!


<3 MALINKA
Title: Re: Newly diagnosed
Post by: lina76 on May 25, 2011, 06:21:10 am
Helllo ladies! I'm back. I'm doing well with my kids and moving on with my studies. I have not started my meds, coz my Dr. said that my cd4 bld count increased from 317-403.I really wanted to start my meds straightaway,now i have to wait for the next 3months for another Dr. visit.

The problem i have got is that i feel there is something wrong with my memory,i do forget soo much ladies.Right now I'm a bit worried about my studies due to this. I decided to fast for 1 -2 wks to see what happens then continue eating healthly. Is there anything i can take to boost up my memory?

Otherwise,things are working well with me,coz i'm getting therapy every 2wks and depression is subsiding  though i'm lonely,i'm hoping to get my life back.
Seeya

Title: Re: Newly diagnosed
Post by: BT65 on May 25, 2011, 07:42:58 am
Lina, sometimes doing puzzles, such as crossword, word search, and shows like Jeopardy can help memory.  I watch Jeopardy all the time, as I'm also older besides having long-term HIV.

I would say, in your case, it may be stress related to everything you've been through.  I know when I'm stressed out, it makes everything worse.  Of course, I could be wrong.  I'm no doctor, and if you're really concerned, you can speak with your doctor about it.

I'm glad to hear your depression is getting better.  hang in there!
Title: Re: Newly diagnosed
Post by: AKL on May 27, 2011, 11:06:43 am
Hi Lina, Im glad that you are feeling better. Im also glad that your CD4 count is increasing. You need to concentrate on getting your viral load decreased as well as this is as equally important.

You have two beautiful kids and that is something to treasure and strive to get better for. Unfortunately, some of us have no kids at all and chances of me having one are minimal given my poz status. Nevertheless, I live a healthy positive life and am grateful for each day that passes by.

We are stronger than this and I am certain that we still have a long life to live. What I found quiet helpful in my case is, trying as hard as I can, albeit difficult at times, not to think about who and how you got infected. I have come to realise that it depletes you and you actually end up not concentrating in getting better.

You have your studies, your children and many many years ahead of you so pick yourself up and walk tall.

Good luck for the future
Title: Re: Newly diagnosed
Post by: lina76 on May 31, 2011, 07:48:44 am
Thanks everyone for your encouragementand support. I almost gave up that my depression wont go away but i'm getting better everyday. I want to prove to pple who have rejected me that,i can flourish and do better as they told me that i don't have a life at all.

I feel so happy that God is not leaving me at all  and i'm getting my happiness back which i ahve been longing for ;D I'm soo happy for you guys who are here for the support you've given me. Keep it up. We gonna conquire this.