POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: MSPspud on September 19, 2006, 09:21:16 am
-
I saw this article today and thought it was interesting. I personally think one of the issues with these "straight men" is that their sexual practices are so impromptu or quick that they think little of protection. They avoid sexual activity until they have a larger then average carnal urge which can have a tendency to push the rational mind aside. Not to mention, that if they're hiding sexual relations, having protection on hand can get one busted. Keep in mind, these are just MY thoughts on the matter.
Enjoy!
http://www.webmd.com/content/article/127/116736?src=RSS_PUBLIC
-
.
-
Hi Spud, good topic.
I think the main problem is that straight men - and perhaps people in general - buy into the myth that only gay men become infected.
Case in point. A good friend of mine, a straight man, tells me that the first thing people consistantly say to him when he discloses his status (and he discloses to anyone and everyone) is "I didn't know/think you were gay."
That says it all.
Now the big question is, how do we get the attention of the straight community to make them understand that they too are at risk?
Ann
-
Hmm, how about they put more prevention posters above the urinals and on the doors of the johns in places other than gay bars??
-
I was one of those guys. Straight identified. But I was whoring myself out to guys ALL THE TIME. I had self esteem issues, but I never thought of HIV as a gay disease, i just didnt care when, who or what I was doing! I like to call that part of my life "The worst part".
-
I was one of those guys. Straight identified. But I was whoring myself out to guys ALL THE TIME. I had self esteem issues, but I never thought of HIV as a gay disease, i just didnt care when, who or what I was doing! I like to call that part of my life "The worst part".
Just curious Andrew...was it the worst part of your life because you were having sex with men, or because you were whoring?
It just seems that old bugaboo that gay is bad continues to force men to lie about their sexual preference.
-
OH NO Dasch... had NOTHING to do with the Gay part of it. I was abusing my body and not taking care of myslef mentally or physically. I was letting people USE me. Why I consider it the worst part is that I didnt care and I lied to everyone I knew about EVERYTHING, the sexuality part was a small part (although most would consider it pretty major, i had always considered myself bi) for me.
I was a sex addict and was in treatment for 3 months for it. THAT, my friend, was the worst part.
-
Wow!
In 1994, after phone contact with every private ASO in the western states, other than the coastal ones; I found out that this anomaly was one that was even more pronounced in the "Cowboy West". Even straight identified men were getting it on with others of the same, due mainly to the fact that the West has always been much more loose in their identification of true "Gay Sex". What I discovered, was astounding to me, but based on my own observations, I wasn't terribly surprised.
Here in the great West of America, it is not unusual for men to get together to do "the guy thing" and they separate it out from their regular sexual encounters as "just screwing around". To my dis-belief, they don't identify this sexual act with "normal" sex, due primarily to the fact that there isn't a vagina involved, so it cannot be callled sex. (Re. a certain past President who honestly proclaimed that "I did not have sex with that woman" which was accepted as truth in our neck of the woods, as there was no penal-vaginal contact). I phoned the results of my non-scientific survey to the Western Regional Director of the CDC in Atlanta, to which he said, "no wonder everyone west of the Mississippi is having difficulty fulfilling the MSM class requirements of funding". DUH! When I explained that he had not included a body guard with the funding, and I would never fulfill the MSM class requirements; we were de-funded, which I thought was a perfect response to a "World Wide Pandemic".
I remain completely confused.
In confusion.
-
Hello MSPspud, it is Eldon.
Interesting article. I do say that Moffie has once again illustrated this so clearly. Straight men do have sex with other men, but it is their little secret.
However, the truth still remains that we need to educate and promote safer sex, and prevention to everyone.
Have the BEST Day!
-
I'm seeing the myth that men only get infected by having sex with other men right here in this thread - in fact it's implied in the title through the use of "" to surround the word straight. Men can and do become infected through vaginal intercourse as well and time and time again I see this fact overlooked in favour of the MSM thing.
I personally know three men who became infected through vaginal intercourse. All this emphasis we see in the media of men on the so-called "down low" is hugely misleading and I'm quite sure it is perpetuating the mindset that people who only engage in heterosexual intercourse don't need testing.
I do realise that there is a big problem with men who identify as straight but have sexual relations with men thinking they don't need testing. However, I believe there is a hidden problem, one that is just as large, of men becoming infected through sex with women.
We simply HAVE to take the gender and sexuality issues out of our prevention messages. It all boils down to unprotected SEXUAL INTERCOURSE and it doesn't matter which hole on whose body unprotected penises are being put into.
I see evidence of this mindset all the time in the Am I forum. Guys who have been having unprotected vaginal intercourse - in some cases for years and with goodness knows how many women - who never worry until they decide to try the other side, so to speak.
Maybe we need to forget about targeting specific groups and target the entire population. I'd love to see billboards, posters and adverts in the media everywhere that simply say - protect your health, use condoms.
Ann
-
.
-
This thread begs the question; "What of str8 men who have unprotected sex with multiple female partners and don't have any homosexuel encounters? I have yet to see any surveys or studies on this, thus propagating the myth that only gay men( even those who are on the dl) get HIV.
There was only a blip when that porn studio was closed down.
-
Johnny,
YES! That's exactly what I'm getting at. :)
Ann
-
I am a straight male, never had or thought about having or trying sex with another man, my sex life has always been with women, I have rarely used a condom in the past, as I had, had a Vasectomy after I had Kids, and, they always gave me a rash. I never looked up or read anything about HIV, as I mistakenly thought it would never affect me, how wrong was I? And, I am not alone, many friends, both male & female seem to hold these same views as I had done. For me, it has been a very steep learning curve, although too late.
-
Poz Brit,
Same here. Do you have any ideas on what might have reached you back when you were living in blissful ignorance?
For myself, I think seeing and knowing about other straight people had become infected would have made me think twice. That's a big part of why I'm so open about my status - if it helps one person realise that it could be them, then it's worth it.
Ann
-
Remarkable that this is on today's NEWS!!!
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=2465177&page=1
-
Polls aside, none of this is new.
As Tim pointed out, men having sexual encounters with other men has been going on for generations.
As Ann pointed out, all people should understand they are at risk, regardless of with whom they are having an encounter or into what orafice they are inserting themselves, or having others insert themselves.
Just a curious point I would like to pass along. When I ask people about their risk factors for having been exposed to HIV, I have learned to carefully pose one question in two different ways.
I ask, "Have you had sex with men?" Often the reply is "No."
Then I ask, "Has another man had sex with you?" Many times, the answer is yes.
What's the difference, you may ask? The role the individual is playing in the encounter.
This may sound like nitpicking in the extreme, but the reality is, this is how some people view this subject.
Some day, I may be able to ask., "Have you had unprotected sex with anyone?" and get a proper response.
But I'm not holding my breath.
HUGS,
Mark
-
I'm shocked...SHOCKED that men who consider themself straight may have had sex with other men!! SHOCKED.
Next thing you know there's going to be straight men who crossdress all over this country!!! I can't even IMAGINE!!!
;)
Methinks the very narrow categories of sexuality are just a bit silly...IMHO. Was Western Civilization not created by a bunch of married men who had sex with men? The GREEKS. ;D
brian
-
LABELS SUCK ASS!
If you can have a wide range of personalities why cant you also have a wide range of sexuality? If you are born the way you are (which I FIRMLY believe) why do you have to be pigeon holed? There arent just 2 personalities... SHY and Outgoing? That makes NO sense and niether do the labels on sexuality. You are WHO you are.
-
.
-
edited...TMI.
-
LABELS SUCK ASS!
If you can have a wide range of personalities why cant you also have a wide range of sexuality? If you are born the way you are (which I FIRMLY believe) why do you have to be pigeon holed? There arent just 2 personalities... SHY and Outgoing? That makes NO sense and niether do the labels on sexuality. You are WHO you are.
I totally agree. That's why I said I believe we need to take gender and sexuality out of the prevention messages and target EVERYONE with a simple message of "Use condoms and protect your health".
The CDC has just taken a step forward in that they are now recommending EVERYONE between the teenage years and 64 are routinely tested, regardless of what risky - or non-risky - behaviours they report. Routine testing is the way forward, now if we can just get the prevention messages up to date too...
Ann