Author Topic: Risk Assessment - Very stressed (Read 2755 times)

Math.sam · « **on:** April 28, 2016, 02:23:05 pm »

Hi,

Thank you very much for the work you guys are doing. I have been reading a lot of posts and have gained a lot of information. Unfortunately I went on other forums too, like **** questions and am very confused and sacred. I'll give some background information and let you advise me.

I am a young male person who got HSV2 somehow. I think it was very recent since I have had no outbreak. I've made many mistakes being young and sexually active: I have been with about 20 CSWs. However I always made sure that I wore a condom. There were some oral intercourse that was not protected but for any other vaginal intercourse that I had, I always wore a condom, from start to finish. I had a DUO test done on 21st of March that was negative. Given the 3 month guide line, any intercourse that I had before Janurary oral or vaginal was safe. After Januray I have always used a condom, both for oral and vaginal.

My last CSW(escort) intercourse was about 2 weeks ago. However these encounters didn't make me feel good about myself. Recently I got in a relationship and intend to be faithful so these encounters will stop but I need to make sure I don't put my girl friend at risk so I am abstaining from sex with her.

Here are my questions, and these are obviously because I have been on so many forums with varying information.

Why are condoms not 100% effective?

People say that if a condom breaks you will always know. In some of my encounters I ejaculated and in some I did not. I didn't take a close look at the condom, just took it off and threw it. Could I have missed that a condom broke and put me at risk?

I have HSV2, more risk?

Sometime the escort used her teeth to open the wrapper. I read it is highly risky. Is it possible that there was a tear due to this that I didn't notice and used the condom which had holes and put me at risk? This happened with my last encounter.

I never changed condoms when switching from oral to vaginal. And in some cases I felt the teeth quite significantly of my partner over my shaft. This also happened in my last encounter. Could they have caused tears that I didn't notice and allowed vagianl fluid to put me at risk? Is it really possible to have a condom fail and not know at all? I have never felt one "pop" on me. Neither have a experience a "fringed hula hoop" situation as mentioned elsewhere.

What is my risk and testing need? I am actually having my annual checkup today, I know it is too early for a conclusive HIV result.

People claim there are micro tears that can be caused by nails and teeth and can make a condom fail. I am just drowned in all this information about condoms failing in ways that a person would not know so how can I even claim that I always had protected sex.

Yes I was stupid, I was just discovering sex, and now that I am in a emotionally and physically fulfilling relationship this all has stopped but I am so uncertain about my future. I hate to bring all these question and anxieties to people who are already living with HIV. You guys are so strong but I have no where else to go. I belong to a religious group that prohibits sex till marriage so I don't really have many people to talk to. Thank you very much for your help!

Jim Allen · « **Reply #1 on:** April 28, 2016, 02:34:39 pm »

Hi

You had protected intercourse, condoms statistically are not 100% as they can break. This is caused mainly by human error, it would surprise you but most people simply use them incorrectly hence they snap & pop and/or tear during usage. If a condom fails you would know about it.

However in your case the condom did not fail and having herpes does not make a no risk situation a risk. It simply changes nothing. As for the rest it is irrelevant as you simply had no risk for HIV transmission.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions. As you are sexually active, it is highly recommended that you get a full sexual health check-up / screening at least annually including but not limited to hiv testing.

Remember that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's. So please do get fully tested regularly for all STI's including HIV and more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs. Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Finally use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, to avoid sexually transmitted hiv infection.

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #2 on:** April 28, 2016, 03:05:14 pm »

Hi

I removed you last post as it was descending into gibberish.

Condoms statistically are not 100% as they can break. This is caused mainly by human error anyway if a condom fails you would know about it however in your case the condom did not fail.

You had no risk so move on.

As for what you read on other sites or online I can't and will not comment on what other say or choose to publish. Every man and his dog can post on the internet I'm just not interested. So stop tolling down that avenue of questioning.

Jim

Math.sam · « **Reply #3 on:** April 28, 2016, 03:10:15 pm »

I'm sorry I don't mean to offend you. So to confirm, a tear caused my openeoing a condom wrong or teeth during a blowjob will be prominent and I won't be able to miss them? As long as something obvious is not wrong with my condom I should move on?

I really need to ask this. Your source of information that make you so confidently say that I have no risk and I can move on? I really am not trying to offend you and bug you. I just want to make sure that what I being advised with is credible. This will be last question

Thank you very much!

Jim Allen · « **Reply #4 on:** April 28, 2016, 03:18:26 pm »

Correct if the condom was ripped whilst opening it would have shown and be noticed during the intercourse. Now opening condom wrappers with ones teeth is a bit well daft as it does give a risk to damaging the condom. However in you case the condom did not break.

Most of my risk assessment information is from the POZ site and the CDC, unless it's regarding biological risk (Such as when I go into details about cell types) but this was not the case for your assessment. Now If you can't accept that you had protected intercourse and no risk than by all means go test it makes no difference to me whatsoever.

I recommend that everyone who is sexually active tests at least annually anyway.

Jim

Math.sam · « **Reply #5 on:** April 28, 2016, 04:08:56 pm »

Jim, I understand that I am asking a lot of questions and it's not ideal but I want to be sure. Yes u have assured me to a big degree but statements like "makes no difference to me whatsoever" make you sound very rude and makes your assessment look less credible or something off handed than well thought out
Again i don't want to offend anyone, I admire what the moderators are doing here so apaolgize for that.

I accept that I didn't notice a break just wanted to make sure that I didn't miss something that made my intercourse unprotected and put me at risk. From all the information that I have given you you see no reason for testing or risk and other moderators would be of the same opinion?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #6 on:** April 28, 2016, 04:21:09 pm »

If anyone has anything to add they will, Wade and the other mods read all the "Am I" assessments and we add to each others assessments if needed.

My statements are direct and to the point and I am glad you find them like this, I post like that so its clear and I leave no doubt. You seem to find that rude well I am sorry you feel that way however this is a serious topic and so fluffy and fun goes out the window. It has no place here.

You have had a risk assessment, I have also explained in my posts how to avoid HIV but as said before if you can't accept that you had protected intercourse and no risk than by all means go get tested.

I recommend that everyone who is sexually active gets tested at least annually anyway.

Jim

EDIT: Ill add again your herpes makes no difference to a no risk situation and if you check the am I section you will see the herpes question and answer is a common one.

Wade · « **Reply #7 on:** April 28, 2016, 06:51:45 pm »

Hi ,
First off we all rely on the same latest peer studies and CDC information
available to us . I totally agree with Jims assessment , from what you have described your herpes have not changed your risk.

As Jim has told you it is safe for you to move on, and oh.. for the record..
we are volunteers living with HIV and would not purposely give you incorrect
information. Jims assessment was direct and to the point and was in no way rude.

Best, Wade

Math.sam · « **Reply #8 on:** April 30, 2016, 04:47:18 pm »

Thank you very much Jim and Wade.

I have one last concern. Everything else he assured me and I am less stressed than before. My condom was a Trojan ecstasy. It was very tight and secure at the base but it was not snug at all on the shaft. There was quite some room. It wasn't the reservoir top design so I assume the space was for the ejaculate and prevent it from bursting.
I was of the opinion that since a condom is very tight and snug over the shaft, any tear results in a rupture and a visible break indicating condom failure. But my condom was not, so would any tears by teeth still result in a visible break or that only happens when a condom is tight around the shaft?

That will be my last concern

Thanks again!

Jim Allen · « **Reply #9 on:** April 30, 2016, 05:01:54 pm »

If the condom failed you would have known about it, they are designed to leave no doubt you are simply overthinking this for no reason.

You have had a risk assessment, I have also explained in my posts how to avoid HIV but as said before if you can't accept that you had protected intercourse and no risk than by all means go get tested.

I recommend that everyone who is sexually active gets tested at least annually anyway.

Its time to move on now and we simply can not help you in this setting.

Jim

Math.sam · « **Reply #10 on:** April 30, 2016, 05:09:41 pm »

Thank you very much Jim. I really appreciate your guidance. I will accept this as a no risk for HIV and move on with my life. However I will also take your advice and get a full STD checkup in 3 months.

Given than I am in a monogamous relationship and my partner has been tested and does not have HIV and that if this relationship continues and I have no other partner should I get tested at all? As I mentioned earlier I had my full std checkup two days ago. If everything comes negative which I am quite confident it will, should I do any further testing in future if I maintain one monogamous partner?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #11 on:** April 30, 2016, 05:27:43 pm »

Hi,

I not sure what your looking for here. Your first post you were having causal encounters, and after January protected (causal?) encounters.

Anyhow to answer your question, Yes I recommend testing for all sexually active people as you don't know your partners risks or status and some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's.

So my advice is please do get fully tested regularly, at least annually for all STI's including HIV and more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs. Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

I also recommend you use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, to avoid sexually transmitted hiv.

Jim

Math.sam · « **Reply #12 on:** April 30, 2016, 05:38:38 pm »

To clarify. I was having encounters with escorts before. my last such encounter was 20 days ago almost. A week ago I got in a relationship that is monogamous and has a very good future. All my concerns and worries were a result of having had HIV from my careless behavior before and loosing a long term fulfilling relationship with someone. And also of putting my partner at risk for HIV. I don't plan on being unfaithful but the fear of contracting HIv and putting my partner at risk brough me to this forum.

Do U have any additional advice given the new information I just provided? Thanks a lot!

Jim Allen · « **Reply #13 on:** April 30, 2016, 05:50:38 pm »

No my advice would be the same.

I recommend testing for all sexually active people as you don't know your partners risks or status and some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's.

So overall my advice is please do get fully tested regularly, at least annually for all STI's including HIV and more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs.

Wishing you all the best.

Jim

Oh and yes of course use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently.

Math.sam · « **Reply #14 on:** April 30, 2016, 06:38:28 pm »

Thanks a lot Jim! I really appreciate all your efforts'

Jim Allen · « **Reply #15 on:** April 30, 2016, 06:46:15 pm »

Your welcome.

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Author Topic: Risk Assessment - Very stressed (Read 2755 times)