Being Gay and Having HIV and not Having Sex!

[jerry]

Ok it has been sometime now since I have done in sexual experiences with another man. Ok wake up it has been 3 years and I am almost starting to think I'm not gay anymore. I mean does that make any since. I always thought I was an attractive guy sometime back but now with having HIV it's different for me now. Also not living in a tourist city anymore and back to the country life has been hell lately.  But don't get me wrong there are alot of fine road workers out there and the farm hands. 

Ok my question is what does a person who is gay but doesn't really feel gay anymore do? I was onced married to a woman and have dated several girls in my high school years but I don't get anything out of a woman today. So what is my next step in life stop trying to look for sex or just plain stop having all sex.

TO HAVE OR NOT TO HAVE SEX?

[cubbybear]

Jerry I guess it doesn't matter at all if you are actively having sex with men or not, if you know within yourself you are gay and do not find women sexually attractive, nor feel the need to "do the straight thing", then that doesn't mean you any less gay than what you were when you were having sex with men.

As you know, being gay in the area that you live in is tough compared to the major tourist centres with a higher population of gay men.  Just do your thing buddy, if sex happens, it happens, it's probably more likely to happen in an area that has a higher population of gay men than a small country town though.

Just do what feels good and don't stress about getting your end wet.  It'll happen when it's supposed to.

Cheers
Matt

[Cliff]

Being gay is more than just having gay sex.  Just like being straight is more than just having straight sex.  Regardless of how long it's been since you've been with someone, that doesn't change or alter your sexual orientation.

It may be tough to find someone where you live, but there are gay folks living in small towns, you just need to be in a position to accept things as they come.  Or, you can always try to take trips to meet people in larger towns.  Plus you do have the internet, take advantage of it.  Communicate with someone who is also looking for love and then one day you guys make plans to meet.

Having HIV doesn't have to cramp your sex life, only if you are determined to let it.  If you see it as a barrier to you getting laid or you meeting someone, then chances are it will become that barrier.  Not because someone else put it up, but because you yourself put up a wall to block everyone out.

Life is what you make of it.  If you constantly think things are bad for you, then guess what....things will be bad for you.  That's not to say that positive thinking can improve any situation, but neither can constant negative thinking.

Keep your head up, things will improve with a positive attitude and determination to make a change in your life.

- Cliff

[JeffInNYC]

Why put a label on any of it?  Just find someone you like and are attracted to - man or woman - and take it from there.