Life Changes and Horny Dogs

[Strayboy74]

Yesterday, I was working in a Microsoft Access Program, when the macro my boss created fucked up, and didn't accept a change I had made.  I told my boss about it, and she told me to close out of the program and that she would look at it.  So I did.

Half an hour later, she came to my cubicle wall, and declared that I had not followed her directions, because the file that allegedly was screwed wasn't there.  I protested that it was done correctly, and she turned to walk back to her office, but as she turned, I saw her roll her eyes.  NO, I didn't just SEE her roll her eyes...  I HEARD THEM!

So, just before I could say, "Excuse me, my dear, but it is customary to turn your back completely before rolling your eyes," and ruin our already stressed relationship, I bit my tongue.  I can be bitchy, too, you understand.  But I've eschewed that behavior, having traded in the wig and platforms long ago for the hope of making less public my astute observations and inventories of the people around me.  But I digress...  and eschew...

I followed my boss into her office, and asked her to show me.  And as she scrolled through the database, I noticed that there were incorrect dates, indicating to me that she wasn't looking at the correct file.  After further inspection, I discovered that she was looking on the wrong drive.  I pointed this out to her, and I'm sure she felt like a dumbass.  However, she didn't say, "I'm sorry."  Instead, all I got was an, "Oh."

At this point, I'd like to say that I wandered down the hall to the bathroom so I could flush random things down the toilet in order to feel safe and secure of the world around me (don't even ask).  But that isn't what happened.  I went back to my desk, and I stewed - but not before taking an orange creme non-fat yoplait yogurt from the fridge.  I sat at my desk, too angry to type, and too flustered to do any work.  I ate my yogurt.

Half-way through my yogurt, my anger got the best of me, and I went back into my boss' office, asking her if she'd like for me to "delete the other file so that she wouldn't accidentally open it again".  As the words fell from my mouth, yet again, I listened from deep inside my body, to my now seemingly foreign carcass -- as the words fell from my lips in slow-motion, in very much the same way you scream “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” when the toilet overflows and you’re too far away to do anything about it.

After leaving her office, I promptly and diligently returned to the comfort of my cubicle, and visited my resume.

You see, whenever I’m disappointed with my job, or something happens at work that I don’t agree with, and I find myself powerless to do anything about it, I begin to send off my resume to other prospective employers.  It just makes me feel better.  And, sometimes I get responses, sometimes I don’t.  However, usually by the time I’ve sent out about 30, it seems that whatever I was stressing over has become insignificant, and I feel better for not allowing myself to feel victimized.  That’ll learn ‘em.

So, this time, by my fourth resume in, I received a response to the first I sent out.  It was a position asking for a Casting Assistant.  I don’t know the first thing about casting, unless it pertains to fishing, or creating plaster models of imprints some animal has left somewhere in the mud.  You see, usually, whenever I find myself in the angry job search mode, I’m kinda cocky, and I tend to apply for jobs I never would consider otherwise due to my qualifications or lack thereof.  Apparently, though, the Casting Assistant, in this situation, casts models for porn movies, which the prospective employer puts out (so to speak).  Funny thing is, I don't even watch porn.  It's too contrived and stupid.

Anyway, I received a call, and I’ve got an interview in a little over an hour – by the way, check out this link:

http://www.digitalworldtokyo.com/2006/12/legs_everywhere_rejoice_as_dog.php

My friend sent it to me, as I was writing this, and I couldn’t stop laughing, but I digress again.

So… I’m really not wanting to switch jobs, because I’ve got great benefits and I make a shit load of money, so it wouldn’t be in my best interest, with my health (at this juncture) to be making any job changes anytime soon.  But my cocky self is going to that interview, and if they’re willing to pay me $2-3 more per hour, I might just be on board with that.

I believe things happen for you if you allow them, and who knows, perhaps the planets are aligning in my favor.  I’ll cross my fingers… and my eyes.

 

-joseph

[ACinKC]

I bet the INTERVIEW process will be fun!  And if you get the job... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

[ChaplinGuy]

You know, it's funny because this same situation has been a major player in my life of late, but not for me. I've been trying to help Brianne get through dealing with her "boss" (and I use quotes because he is not technically working above her, he's a consultant who used to be the office Chief of Staff years ago). This guy is a huge shithead with serious leftover issues from his youth that gets taken out by beating up on people he thinks he can bully. He calls up and tells her that her writing is poor, yells about comments she makes to reporters ... it's just bad, bad management and poor leadership. (Which is why her real boss is going to LOSE his re-election effort in 2008.)

I'm reading "Never Eat Alone" at the moment (how ironic), which holds the premise that you never, ever treat people in the business world (especially POLITICS) with such slight of hand. And this, Strayboy, includes your reaction. It's all the more important that - however hard it may seem - you always treat people with the respect they deserve (or don't deserve). You never know how that network could come back to bite you.

Believe me, I have clients that I've wanted to tell to "f*** off" when they just got apeshit over nothing (because they can). But that's the world in which we live. It's no different than guys like me getting HIV! It's not fair, but it's life. You just have to take it and make the best of a bad situation, because at the end of the day it's not going to kill you unless you let it.

Hang in there.

Zach

[Strayboy74]

And this, Strayboy, includes your reaction.

Thank you for the judgement on my behavior.

...and your advice.

-joseph

[AlanBama]

Ya gotta love your boss...they provide material for countless discussions and create the fodder for endless ranting, right?

Our secretary at work is in the hospital, possibly in kidney failure.   Today, my boss asked me "how much of her work would you be comfortable in assuming?"   (I am a part time employee, limited by Soc Security as to how much I can earn, and thus, how many hours I can work; of course he knows all this).   Translation:   I can get Alan to do his job and hers too, because I don't have to pay him any more money......

I told him I wasn't comfortable assuming any duties that involved the use of Word Perfect (which HE insists on), I work strictly with Excel and other financial software.  (he was here late last night doing a newsletter that she normally would do, and he had called me at home asking some questions).

So everyone will be glad to know that the "work equation", as I call it, has now evolved to encompass part-time people as well as full time.
Alan's work equation:
40 hour salary week = 60 hours of work (this is why I had to give up full time employment and resume my disability)
20 hour salary week = 35 hours of work

 

Joseph, maybe we should form our own company?   

[Longislander]

I'm curious as to what is required of a casting assistant for porn movies? Do you have to measure private parts? Auditions? Definitely go to the interview and report back in detail!

[pozguy75]

You know Joseph...ummm...if you get the gig...I know a porn star looking for work!! LOL...

good luck kiddo! Have fun with it!

[Strayboy74]

COCKY JOB INTERVIEW UPDATE:

I went in, FULL TILT BOOGIE!

I told them who I am, what I do, and why they should hire me.

I am SHINING!

I'll write a tell-all later.

-joseph

[poet]

While waiting (with hope) for Joseph's tale (and tale of tail) and new position (which is what a job is called) when George gets more curious, focus on NYC and contact Michael Lucas using my name as a referral.   Looks like a summer on Fire Island right across from Paul.   

For the rest of the group with work issues, I would always say weigh the money and benefits on one side with working for yourself on the other and see how the scale works for you.  It's amazing (having done it) how all those hours of work when they are your hours working for yourself turn around and life suddenly gets rewarding in the best way.  Best, Win

[Jnm594]

Gotta Love It!!! If you need a "helper" whlie you're doing the casting let me know!!!

 

Thanks for making me spit out my coffee at my desk and having everyone here think I'm even more warped than ususual!!

All I can think of right now is the "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" in slow motion!!

[Longislander]

Looks like a summer on Fire Island right across from Paul. 

   

wait, someone getting a summer rental??!?!?!??!?!?!

[allopathicholistic]

Full tilt boogie!! Edited because I just read your update (#13)
so glad for you.  You really 'worked it' 

Today, my boss asked me "how much of her work would you be comfortable in assuming?"   (I am a part time employee, limited by Soc Security as to how much I can earn, and thus, how many hours I can work; of course he knows all this).   Translation:   I can get Alan to do his job and hers too, because I don't have to pay him any more money......

         My thoughts are with you Alan. I'd love to answer "ZERO" or "NONE" to that kind of question    People like simple answers right? LOL!!!

[northernguy]

...  Funny thing is, I don't even watch porn.  It's too contrived and stupid.-joseph

There is no justice.  A job interview like that goes to one of the few gay men who doesn't enjoy porn

[Strayboy74]

Alright!!!

Here's the update.

This evening has been a whirlwind of feelings, concluding with feelings of anxiety and dread at attending work tomorrow.  If I didn't actually have to use my sick days for being sick, tomorrow would have been a perfect day to cough up a lung.  But enough about my feelings...

Anyway... back to the interview...

I always arrive early to interviews.  Usually because I don't ever really know where the hell I'm going.    But, really, does anyone?  I digress... it's late.

Like I said, It's late and I was early, half an hour, actually.  But I'm not willing to appear desperate, because I'm not.  I've got a job, and if I don't get this, I'll live.  I will.  I may not be happy with my job, but I've got one! Yay!

After scoping out the address, I wandered to the end of the block, where I found a thrift store, and killed some time.  I found a really awesome Sandra Bernhard cd, "I'm Still Here, Damn It!"  I was so pleased with myself, I barely noticed that it was soon 10 minutes to my interview.  I walked up the stairs, through the door and was met by a receptionist who greeted me and asked me to take a seat.

I sat, examinging my resume which I had printed on antiqued paper and placed in a neutral report folder.  It actually complimented my outfit, which was entirely a coincidence.  Although I did spend a great deal of the night before sewing my shirt to make it more fitting, so I could accentuate and emphasize my hard work from the gym, I didn't modify any other part of my outfit.  I didn't need to.

After all... The light-camel colored linen pants hugged the small of my back and contour the upper hemispheres of my gluteals, thanks to the darts so carefully placed there by the manufacturers.  With minor pleats, the linen falls off the front, laced at the top by my favorite black leather belt and cuffed at the bottom, with my rarely worn Kenneth Cole shoes, buckled and proud beneath the cuffs.  The shirt is entirely polyester - something I'll deny, should anyone ask - polyester so blue that it marries my eyes and rivals the shiny blue sunglasses which sat proudly atop my head.  My black, worn, leather jacket and my newly knitted scarf - echoing the shiny happy blues I donned, sealed the deal of cockiness.

In fact, after the interview was complete, my interviewer took my photo with his digital camera - to do with, I know not what... but I'm putting the cart in front of the horse here, and as Eldon has pointed out to me, you can't do that...  So, back to the horse....

So, after a brief wait, I was escorted into a room, where I sat beneath the picture of a giant, faceless cock, dangling so effortlessly like a trapeze artist swaying beneath the canvas of a big top.  It taunted me...  It made me realize that no holds are barred, and that I needn't fear unleashing my brazen self upon the hot boy before me who began my interview.

I'll spare the details of what we discussed, only to say that my audience was captive by my spell, and was visibly impressed with the way I handled myself in presentation.  However, I will say that during the interview, I was told that there was another position that was being offered, in addition to the position for which I applied.  Before you all get your minds in the gutter, understand that this is a family program, and I don't do shows like that no more, I'm an artiste.

During the interview, the guy intervieiwing me left the room, to invite another person to participate in the remaining time we had together.  Yes, boys, it was gonna be an interview threesome. woohoo, baby!  But unfortunately, he was at lunch.

I was then asked, if it would be okay if I were photographed, at which point I agreed.  The picture was taken, and I was then escorted from the room.  Outside, there were two people who stopped talking as I walked out of the room.  I then realized that they could probably hear my interview over the wall to the room that didn't quite reach the ceiling.

I thanked my interviewer for taking the time to meet with me, and told him that I hoped to see him again, soon.

I then left the office, feeling so jazzed about the interview.  And saw several omens on my way back to work that make me believe that the planets may, indeed, be aligning in my favor.

After work, I walked to the castro, got a cup of coffee, smiling at everyone I passed, shining from so very deep within my soul, I thought I might just burst into a scorching supernova of joy.  Like I said earlier, I was SHINING!

I then attended a couple of AA meetings finding peace within, letting go of the anxiety around the situation.  You see, I'm terribly afraid of a job change at this juncture, as I'll have to pay cobra for 3 months, and will be subject to 90 days of probation at a new job... a shakiness that I've weighed, and is showing itself to be worth the trouble.  I really would like to have a job where I will be happy, and am not treated as I am.  Currently, as things go, I'm not happy - and my Tcells are showing it.  The order of the universe will point my way.  Anyway...

I came home, to find that I've been invited back for a second interview.

So I will shine again tomorrow, as brightly as I did today.  So, think of me, when you're overwhelmed by the brightness and joy on the horizon tomorrow evening and don't be afraid!  I'm not.

-joseph

"When it's said and done
What you need will come
and time won't let me
Let you, let me, waste it, this time
SHINE..."                - C. Lauper

[Robert]

Joseph....

Thank you for the very pleasant bed-time story.  I'm going off into dreamland right now with a very smug smile plastered on my face.

....robert

[JohnOso]

Jesus, i need a cigarette after reading that.

Just what has our Joseph gotten himself into?


John
(who doesn't even smoke)

[Strayboy74]

BTW, Please forgive any syntax errors or lack of transitions, it's late, and I'm exhausted.

-joseph

[poet]

How fast can certain members of the forums fly out to arrive for his official three-way then to become an orgy (of interviewing) titled, perhaps, The Boy Who Strayed?  Win

[aztecan]

When the moon is in the seventh house

And Jupiter aligns with Mars

Then peace will guide the planets

And love with steer the stars



Sorry, couldn't resist. 


Joseph, you have balls as big as church bells. I love it.

Good luck or, should I say, "Break a leg," depending on the position for which you are applying.

HUGS,

Mark

[Longislander]

Joseph~ this is all happening so fast!

Congrats on the cd, the outfit, and of course the call back~

Paul

[JohnOso]

Waiting for the update............

[Christine]

What happened at the second interview?? And, I pictured you looking fabulous at the first interview!

Don't let the present boss get you down, she is just jealous she doesn't look as good as you!

Christine

[Strayboy74]

Thanks, Christine!

Well, I impressed them all the same, and though they want me to meet the owner, I don't think I'll be accepting the job.  It's not that my boss has had any sort of epiphany, it is, rather, that I discovered I would have to take a substancial pay cut, and I don't know that I'm willing to do that AND be on probation for 90 days.

I don't know that I'm going to go to the third job interview.  After all, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.  I need to weigh this and carefully consider it a bit longer.  I'll let everyone know what goes on.

-joseph

[Longislander]

Hey Joseph,
do what's best for you~ The story itself was entertaining enough. Once a month or so, go on another job hunt adventure and post for us!! 

Paul

[ndrew]

Joseph,

I agree with Paul.  You make good fun words! 

Drew

[Strayboy74]

I'm glad that the turmoil of my life entertains you.

At least I can find comfort in knowing that it wasn't all for nothing. LOL

-joseph