how to share diagnosis with friends

[advocatekat]

hi there! i am new to posting on the forum- although i've been directing friends here for awhile. my best friend is newly diagnosed and is wanting advice on how to disclose to friends who live far away. has anyone had to do this before? did you email them? skype? or just a facebook message? snail mail? any advice would be helpful! thank you!

[Ptrk3]

I think disclosure may be best done in a face-to-face situation, if at all possible.

[Jim Allen]

I am locking this topic

Now I don't mind you having a look around the forum however if your friend has questions they can open an account.

ill be honest editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ. If its a misunderstanding I apologize but you have no such permission hence the topic has been locked. You know why.

Ill answer the question though with:

Would he have the same concerns or needs with "disclosure" if it was for example "arthritis, asthma, diabetes ?? No, yet they are all chronic conditions.  In short there is no need for any drama.

So my advice is don't as once he has shared his diagnosis there is no going back, its out. Being newly diagnosed can be a rough time and although friends can be a support being rejected early on can be very hash particularly doing this by e-communication as it means you can not really read the situation or the reaction. 

Disclosure if wanted or needed I recommend is best done in a calm and reassuring manner face to face fact supported by facts as whoever he tells may (will) have questions and he needs to be prepared for that.

Doing all this through E-communication or worse the grapevine where people are left with their own imaginations/unjust fears and no-one to ask is just a really bad idea.

It just sucks, now it might seem easy to pop-out an email or face book message about it however the reality is that is just a cop-out.

If for some reason he does want to disclose well what the rush?? His HIV is not going away so the next time he sees his friends face to face he can than disclose if he still wants to or needs to.

Jim

EDIT:
There is a lesson written on disclosure.
https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/disclosure