Don't even know what to feel

[DT]

Hey there everyone.  So, recently my wife went through a battery of tests for her pregnancy and was told the test for HIV came back positive.  Through our last pregnancy (about a year and a half ago) she was negative.  I got tested today and I also am HIV+.  Neither of us really have a clue how this is possible.  We don't sleep around, and neither of us do drugs of any kind.  We suppose it could have happened during her C-Section, or possibly about a year ago, when I helped a fella that cut his arm pretty badly on a broken window (I had just sustained a cut on the back of my hand earlier that day, and didn't think before I helped the individual).  To make matters worse, my wife has been breastfeeding our boy up until about 2 weeks ago ... so we're having to get him tested as well.

Anyhow, I'm tired, frustrated, angry, scared ... well you know, pretty much every negative emotion that exists.  Seriously ... WTF?

Thanks for listening.  I suppose I'll likely get to know you guys and gals fairly well in the next few years.

[tednlou2]

Just wanted to welcome you to the forums.  I wish you didn't have to come here, but it is what it is.  I won't speculate on the mode of infection.  Just wanted to say hello and I am sorry you both have to deal with this.  And, all the best for a negative result for your baby.  I know that would give you both a lot of relief. I look forward to hearing more from you. 

Ted

[Ann]

Unless the cut on the back of your hand was deep, gaping open and still bleeding (ie fresh) when you got this guy's blood on you, then that isn't a very likely source of your infection (if you are indeed poz).

Have you both had your positive antibody tests confirmed with Western Blot tests?

False positive antibody results can often happen during pregnancy, and sometimes they just happen. Western Blot testing will reveal whether you've had false positives or true positives. True, it would be a strange coincidence if you both got false positives, but it's not impossible. Stranger things have happened.

So, can you tell us whether or not you've both been confirmed positive with WB tests? The WB test is standard hiv diagnosis protocol but doctors who are inexperienced with hiv diagnosis don't always realise this. It's important that you check this out.

If you are both poz what matters now is not where the hiv came from, but how you deal with it from here on out. With today's meds hiv is no longer a death sentence, but it does require vigilant attention to your health. Either way, you're ultimately going to be ok.

By the way, when was the last time YOU had an hiv test before your wife tested poz? Just because she was negative the last time she was pregnant doesn't mean YOU were negative as well. It's possible (and much more likely than the blood scenario) that you were poz before your relationship with her and just didn't know it.

Exposure doesn't always equal infection. We've had negative wives post here who had positive husbands diagnosed during their relationships. I also know a woman personally who was having unprotected sex with a positive man for three years before he was diagnosed (it wasn't a new infection) and she remained hiv negative. This could have been true for you and your wife during the first few years of your relationship.