Lost84:
Hi. I'm new here. My husband was just diagnosed with HIV. I'm not sure how long he's had it but we did take a break a few years back. I have tested negative. I started prep and he started his medication. I'm so angry and sad . I try to uplift him but the truth is I feel like I've died. I don't know what to do. All I do is cry. Not around him but in the shower so he's not scared. I don't know if we can survive this. I want to. I'm trying to. Are these normal feelings?
Jim Allen:
Hiya,
Sorry to hear that you are struggling.
I am guessing the diagnosis was fairly recent, glad to hear your husband has started treatment, though. How is he doing/coping? Has he been sick, and do you know what his CD4 count is?
--- Quote from: Lost84 on May 11, 2023, 11:07:03 am ---I'm so angry and sad . I try to uplift him but the truth is I feel like I've died. I don't know what to do. All I do is cry. Not around him but in the shower so he's not scared. I don't know if we can survive this. I want to. I'm trying to. Are these normal feelings?
--- End quote ---
Is it that he had sex with someone else that is causing you the most upset or that he is living with HIV?
Anyhow, are these normal feelings? Sure.
An HIV diagnosis is a lot to digest and it will take time for you and your husband to get your heads around it. Some people I know and have supported go through nearly a grieving process, and a mix of feelings happens.
I think for most; it settles down to the point they forget about HIV as the meds start to work and they get their heads around the idea that living with HIV changes nothing.
--- Quote ---I try to uplift him but the truth is I feel like I've died. I don't know what to do. --- End quote ---
Have you considered talking to your husband about how you are feeling? I know you are trying to support him but if you are struggling its no good either.
Jim Allen:
--- Quote ---Will normalcy ever exist again --- End quote ---
Easy, that's up to you and your husband.
I've lived with HIV my entire adult life and I am now 41. I take a pill daily at breakfast, which is about as much as HIV changes my life.
What is normalcy? I don't know but after my HIV diagnosis, I finished college, travelled the world, and had sex with everything and everyone willing and plenty were willing ;D, had a good career, two kids, a failed marriage and am now happily living with my GF and son and that's normal for me.
HIV simply isn't an issue for me as I don't let it be an issue. It's just a manageable condition and there are far worse things than HIV in life.
Lost84:
We found out 10 days ago. He did his labs on Monday so we are waiting for that to come back. He was extremely sick this past week burning up with a fever. He never gets sick. I was so scared. He's doing better now .I try to talk to him but he's not ready to talk about it. I love him so I'm going to do everything in my power to support him. I'm just trying to educate myself as much as possible about HIV.
Jim Allen:
Glad to hear he is feeling better, and once the lab results are in, it will give you a better picture of the situation.