POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: xman on October 09, 2008, 04:13:55 pm
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Hello,
I'm living in Italy and I registered to the forum because I need seriously help and some support. I had several risky encounters many of them unprotected. I was always the inserter and never the receiver. This probably decreases a bit the overall risk.
After 2-3 weeks from the last intercourse I developed a lymphadenopathy. I have very large nodes in the groin on the right and smaller ones on the left side and in the armpits. I made an ecography which reveals this. I can only feel the big ones in the groin on the right side and sometimes they are a bit painful. In addition I have often night sweats. I woke up and my bed is so wet that I need to uncover it for drying. No other signs are present to my knowledge. What is very worrisome to me is that the right nodes in the groins are now swollen for about 30 days. Maybe they were stimulated by touching them several times.
Today I went for a complete blood screening including all STD's, mono and other possibile infections + several blood values. Results will be ready in 20 days. I can't do more at the moment but of course I'm extremely anxious. I googled for hours on the net for some relief but I only find sites about HIV linked with the symptoms I'm experiencing. I have also OCD which makes all worse and I take Zoloft.
I don't know why I'm putting myself at risk and I'm actually helped by a psychiatrist to find a solution to the problem. Zoloft decreases sex pleasure and makes it difficult to reach the orgasm. This could be a possibility why I sometimes avoid condoms.
My doc told me that the odds of beeing infected for the top aren't very high but still present. He mentioned a possibility of 6 in 10000 exposures which seems small but on the net I found other percentages.
I only ask for some support and to talk to someone in this moment. I'm very scared and I hope that there's still a remote chance to be negative but all the facts at the moment doesn't support this possibility and I'm quite sure to have the virus.
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X, symptoms will never tell you anything accurately about your HIV status. They simply resemble too many other causes besides HIV. There is absolutely nothing HIV-specific about the ones you mentioned including swollen lymph nodes. I can tell you that you need to stop handling, squeezing, touching and otherwise bothering your nodes. Doing so will only make a worse situation as they are very sensitive to touch.
You need to test at 13 weeks past the most recent unprotected incident. That's the only way to get a reliable answer. It's good that you had a full STD panel done. Other stds are much easier to acquire than HIV and anyone who is sexually active ought to have those tests done regularly, at least once a year.
It is true the risk is lower for the insertive partner. But lower risk is not the same as no risk. Each time you have unprotected intercourse you are putting your life at risk. It's as stark and as simple as that. So don't waste any further energy on excuses like why you avoid using condoms. That's not going to fly here. We're talking about life and death. You figure out what's most important.
We do not get into quantifying with numbers the level of your risk. You need to start using condoms everytime you have intercourse. No exceptions. Period.
If your symptoms continue that's something to discuss with your doctor.
Good luck with your test result.
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Thanks Andy for you reply and help. You are a good person and it's wonderful what you're doing to help people like me. Your support helps me a lot. To all the members please excuse my english. It may be not perfect. I hope to have a last chance to makes things better.
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You're welcome. I'm glad you found our exchange to be helpful.
And don't spend a whole lot of energy on thinking the worst is going to happen because very often it doesn't. Meantime while you wait to do your test you need to make a real effort to focus your attention on other productive things in your life. And don't tell me you're too nervous to do that because that is not going to fly here. Just do it and when you find yourself with another worry going off, take some deep slow and deep breaths in and out. And get on with your life.