MF sex- Prolonged sex with internal ejaculation - high risk??

[Leur88]

Hello, I'm 23 year old male living and studying abroad (UK). 
I have serious relationship and I am engaged.
It was almost perfect but I ended up cheating on her.
Sorry for long story in advance, but English is not my mother tongue so I'll try my best:
Last month, on 20Th of February I had unprotected sex with other girl i knew for very short time. She was not a virgin by any means and had many partners before me and maybe after. What happened with her was more like sex session as it lasted for almost 12 hours. I came in her multiple times, but after each time i urinated and did some washing up. My penis was all red and irritated after that.

More than 2 weeks ago I've noticed strange itchy feeling just near the hole, almost on the string (it's very hard to trace where is starting to itch) and after couple days from that I've noticed cloudy discharge coming out in the mornings.  And i had strange irritation and itchiness on testicles and sometimes on other parts of body, like i probably haven't washed my hands very well and touched my eye and later nose, so they started to itch. Now I'm still getting cloudy discharge sometimes but it is not yellowish anymore, but white. It burns a bit when i pee and itchy feeling appears and disappears randomly.
I know this can't be related to HIV, and I was still panicking about getting STD, but what happened later scarred last living crap out of me.
About 4 days ago I've got a mild fever and very tight chest. I had some dry coughs and I've experienced vertigo and felt nauseous (almost threw up couple of times). My lymph glands were OK. It went away after 2 days as I probably stopped worrying so much after reading that HIV is not that easy to transmit.
But... Now I'm worrying about my girlfriend as we had unprotected sex couple times this month. Two days ago she got low grade fever with low temperature, sore throat, painful body and massive lymph glands. And she doesn't worry about STDs and HIV as she doesn't know i was cheating on her so her symptoms (unlike mine) have to be real..
What are my risks of contracting HIV from a female if sex was prolonged and I ejaculated in her couple of times (As i was reading here it might increase risk several hundred times)?.. Can i consider my situation a high risk one?
I don't know if that female was infected or not. She recently said that she is OK and she is doesn't want to speak about it as I probably freaking out because of nothing. She stopped replying me and started to hang out with other guys.
Sorry if my question is too long and repetitive, but now I'm panicking and I'm feeling so stressed over this.. that I even gave up my studies.

[Matty the Damned]

It sounds to me as though you've contracted an STI such as gonorrhoea, chlamydia or non-specific urethritis.

And yes, you've had a risk for HIV transmission as well.

You need to attend a Genito-Urinary Medicine Clinic (aka a GUM clinic) and seek medical attention. You need a full sexual health screen.

I do not think this is necessarily a "high" risk for HIV transmission but it certainly is a risk situation.

The HIV testing window period is 3 months. This means you should test 3 months after the unprotected sexual encounter in February.

You also have a responsibility to encourage your girlfriend to be tested. Not just for HIV but for other STIs as well. If you have one of those STIs then you have probably infected her as well. Diseases like chlamydia and gonorrhoea are very serious for women and can lead to sterility.

I appreciate that your predicament is not a pleasant one and in future you should make sure you use condoms whenever you have anal or vaginal sex.

MtD

[Leur88]

Hello! Thank You very much for Your answer! Can't describe how panicked I am.
I'm going to see my doctor on Friday and will get tested for all std's soon as possible.
Can i get tested for HIV earlier? Or do I have to wait for 3 months for accurate results?
The funny part - in 8 years of my sexual life it was just third time I had sex without condom and she was second girl I had sex with. As I was always the safe guy so now I'm in the panic mode.

[Matty the Damned]

Hello! Thank You very much for Your answer! Can't describe how panicked I am.
I'm going to see my doctor on Friday and will get tested for all std's soon as possible.
Can i get tested for HIV earlier? Or do I have to wait for 3 months for accurate results?
The funny part - in 8 years of my sexual life it was just third time I had sex without condom and she was second girl I had sex with. As I was always the safe guy so now I'm in the panic mode.

If you test for HIV now and receive a positive result, that's a definitive result. If the test result is negative you will have to test again at the end of the window period, ie 3 months from 20 February.

Most people who test positive for HIV do so around the 3 - 6 week mark, the average being 22 days.

As I noted above, I don't think HIV is the biggest risk here, if I were you I'd be more concerned about another STI such as gono or chlamydia.

But you do need to be tested for HIV. There's no doubt about that.

I also would like once more to stress the importance of you telling your girlfriend to be tested too if you've not done so already. You should also tell the girl you had sex with in February. This is very important. The people at the GUM clinic will help you do the contact tracing.

MtD

[Leur88]

Thanks for clearing it up!
Yes, I've asked that girl to be tested but she said that she will indeed but I have a strange feeling as she will not as she think it's my imagination and I'm overreacting because she is symptomless. But if I tell her that i contracted something, maybe it will change her mind.

[Andy Velez]

Although wanting her to test is a common response from partners who are unsure about their own status, it's only your own negative test result taken at the right time that really matters and can be relied upon.

So your negative at 3 months will be conclusive. As Matty has indicated, a negative at 6 weeks will be very encouraging and a strong indication that you are likely to continue to test negative.

[Matty the Damned]

Thanks for clearing it up!
Yes, I've asked that girl to be tested but she said that she will indeed but I have a strange feeling as she will not as she think it's my imagination and I'm overreacting because she is symptomless. But if I tell her that i contracted something, maybe it will change her mind.

This is why STIs such as gono and chlamydia can be so problematic. They are asymptomatic in a large number of cases but they still cause damage.

The GUM clinic staff can help you with this. Mention it to them.

MtD

[Leur88]

If I'll be tested positive in any STD I will give her name to GUM staff and they will contact the person with a letter. Hopefully that girl will wise up as she is calm as a virgin.
PS. I'm very happy to get such prompt and professional answers as I'm feeling now that emotions are taking over. I've started feeling my symptoms more clearly(nausea, vertigo, stiff neck, lack of appetite, mild fever, pain in muscles and bones and etc.) Waiting for a test is unbearable for me. Maybe my panic and fear causes all these symptoms - some people here are/were having notebook ARS symptoms even if their risk was minimal/even after being tested negative. But i'm trying to keep it cool and rational as I have family depending on me.
Thank You for Your help people

[Leur88]

Hello again. Finally I've got tested(full std scan) but haven't got my results back. I've still received gonorrhea medicine and it seams to work to certain extent as I don't feel constant pain. I think now I've got my mind back on track, no panic and finally can eat and sleep like before.
Now the difficult part - results. I was tested exactly 2 months after exposure. After I get results - lets presume they are negative, how sound should I feel or i certainly do need to get retested again? (On 20 th of May and 20 th August?) And can i trust test that was done so early?
I was doing research and some sources contradict each other, so again, I trust You guys more than some old articles from 2002 or my GP that doesn't know a thing about STDs. Thanks in advance

[Ann]

Leur,

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days.

A six week (or more) negative is highly unlikely to change, but must be confirmed at the three month point.

So yes, you need to test again at the three month point, but your result is very unlikely to change. While you're at it, you should re-test for gonorrhea and chlamydia to make sure the treatment was successful. Good luck.

Ann