Stressed !... *Possible* condom failure ??

[Rocco1977]

Greetings from Australia.

I would like to apologize early on for this post. I was a bit hesitant and embarrassed to write this at first, as a lot of this sounds irrational, paranoid and very anxiety driven. However, it has been playing in my mind for the past few weeks, causing a lot of stress, and being closeted, there is really no one I can talk to. (It's also a bit long)

So here it goes.

Approximately 6 weeks ago I had a sexual encounter with another male I met through Craigslist. I was top and he was bottom. Before hooking up I asked him specifically if he had any STDs to declare, and he said none. However, during sex, he was going to let me penetrate him without a condom, until I pointed out that we should use one. I guess that behaviour played a role somewhat in my anxiety.

After sex was when my troubles really began. Out of habit, I checked the integrity of the condom. To my surprise, there was no semen inside . Instead, I had semen on my hands. I panicked, thinking there was a tear in the condom, but after filling it with water, the condom seemed intact.

Anyway, that 'unexplained' event (how there was semen on my hands and not inside the condom) seems to the driver of my anxiety for the past few weeks, with my mind running through many different scenarios as to what could have happen, and how it could pose a risk to myself. Penetration was tricky as my penis slipped a bit, and I had trouble holding an erection initially, so I'm not sure if its possible (or not) for the condom to slip off without me knowing. However, the logical part of me thinks that, if it did slip, and I actually penetrated him without a condom, 1) I would have felt it as bareback sex feels different (based on my experiences with vaginal sex, as I never had  unprotected anal  2) All ejaculate would have be in my partners rectum, not my hands.

Also, I did not remember specifically the act of removing the condom from my penis (which would indicated that it was on the whole time), but that probably doesn't mean much, as removing the condom after sex is something instinctive and not something I would pay attention to, or would remember doing.

I guess it is possible that semen just spilled backwards from the condom and landed on my hands whilst I was removing it. I used a regular sized condom and sometimes it tends to collect around the body of the condom where my shaft is, and not in the receptacle tip (as compared to a snug fit one).

Again I apologize if this sounds like a whole lot of crazy. I guess I am just here to seek advice and opinions about my risk ( I know its a lot to ask for, since I am the one who was actually there and I still don't know what the hell happened ! ). I have a doctors appointment in 2 weeks time and will get tested then, at 8 weeks.

Thanks for reading.

[Wade]

Hi, An intact condoms means you were protected and not at risk for HIV. The condom was on when you started and on when you finished, you most likely got semen on your hands while removing it. Sex can be messy ...clean it up  !

From what you have posted sounds like there was no risk from this incident.
If you decide to test for peace of mind, guidelines are 6 weeks past possible exposure and again at 13 to confirm your negative result.

Wade