where to start

[goingoverboard25]

Hello,

I am posting here because I am driving myself crazy and I am not too sure where to turn. I have recently developed an intense fear of HIV. It seems like everyday something happens and I think I am going to be infected.

I am talking about normal things here, not even sexual encounters. For instance, today I scratched the tip of my penis in the shower with my fingernail as I was washing up. I started to panic , as I had recently had some repairmen in my bathroom fixing a leak. I keep thinking what if one of them had HIV and cut himself while working on the shower. Then I unknowingly touched something he touched, then scratched myself with that same hand.

I have read the articles on here and I know they say you can not get HIV from contact in the environment, yet I still get worried. Things like this keep happening and I keep getting myself very worked up.

I don't want to waste anybody's time with what I am sure amounts to irrational fears, I am just not sure where else to turn and I hoped hearing some advice from experts would help.

Thanks for listening.

[Matty the Damned]

Other than what you've read in our Lessons, there's really not much more advice we can give you. HIV is not transmitted via casual contact with environmental surfaces.

Your irrational and unfounded fear of contracting HIV is something you should raise with a qualified mental health professional. It must be addressed in a clinical setting.

We are not able to provide you with the support you need.

MtD

[goingoverboard25]

Thanks for the response. It does make me feel better to hear you reiterate these things.

I guess I really do need psychiatric help, because even though it helps to hear someone reassure me, there is always something happening that gets me nervous and scared all over again. Just today, I scratched my hand on a wall outside a restroom, and the panic started all over again. It didn't even draw blood, I can't find a mark on me to prove that it even happened, yet the fear is the same. Just the fact that I may have cut myself on something that somebody else may have touched was enough to ignite my fears all over.

Anyway, thanks for listening and responding, I am going to do my best to see somebody about these fears.

[Matty the Damned]

This sort of fear can be very debilitating and I appreciate the seriousness of your situation.

I encourage you most strongly to seek psychiatric help. Conditions such as yours are very treatable and there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to get control of this problem provided you get some professional assistance.

I'm sorry we're not able to assist you with this.

Take care,

MtD

[goingoverboard25]

I am having a very hard time dealing with my fears. Today I cut my hand on a guitar I was playing. I have no idea who was playing it before me. I can't shake the thought that maybe the guy before me cut his hand and I got some of his blood in my cut.

I know you have told me already that HIV isn't transmitted through objects, but I can't quit worrying.

So I tried to make an appointment with a psychiatrist today, but with no insurance and not much money it isn't easy. I found a clinic that will see me, but not until Sept. 15. This is just a family practice doctor though. I have to get a referral from him before the psychiatrist will see me. And once I get the referral, the psychiatrist has a two month waiting list to get in.

So the questions I have are should I be concerned about this new scenario, and how can I cope with these fears for three months while I wait for help?

I am thinking about starting a journal and writing things down every time something happens that worries or panics me. I don't want to come here and post over and over about different scenarios whenever something scares me. And I don't want to waste anyone's time here. I understand you guys are doing important work, and having to deal with the same non-issues over and over must put a strain on you.  Despite that, I have continued to post because it makes me feel so much better to hear an expert say I am worrying over nothing.

I know that's not your job, and I want to thank you again for your patience and understanding.

[Andy Velez]

No, there is no sound basis in HIV science for this latest concern of yours.

You might explore what other charitable organizations may exist in your area that offer therapeutic services. Even an AIDS services organization maybe able to point you in the direction of getting some professional help.

We can't provide that in this setting. And I am going to warn you that if you continue to return with these situations that you actually know are non-risk and what our responses will be, then you are risking getting a Time Out from the site.

HIV is not your problem.