Author Topic: Better late than never - Gemini20 - a brief history (Read 4882 times)

gemini20 · « **on:** December 05, 2006, 08:10:38 pm »

I never did formally introduce myself in the old forums so like others who've gone before me recently I thought I'd do a quick biography so you know a little more about me.

One of twin girls born in Hannover, Germany as my dad was in the British Army. I spent first few years of my life moving between army bases in the UK and Germany but we moved permanently back to rural England after Dad died suddenly aged 34 in 1975 - I was 6 years old at the time and it is still a loss I have never come to terms with.

After school I escaped my rural childhood and headed to university to study for a degree in Social and Environmental Studies (i.e. I didn't have a clue what career I wanted so tried a bit of everything!).

In 1991 during my final term at uni I went to a concert in central London and met the man who would change my life forever. Ian was good looking, intelligent and typically for me an 'older man'. What I didn't know was that he was HIV positive, he only told me three months into the relationship when a condom broke during sex. Three months later I got tested and the result came back positive.

After my diagnosis I threw myself into the whole HIV world but Ian refused to join me in any of it and carried on his life as if it wasn't happening. We split up about six months later and within 18 months he had died. I spent the last few months visiting him regularly in a hospice but by then he'd developed AIDS related dementia and it was terribly hard and frightening to watch the deterioration in someone I had loved. I still think of him often and occasionally visit his grave and sit and 'chat' to him.

The past 15 years have been a rollercoaster and I've seen the HIV world change considerably. All my initial support was provided by gay men and for that I will always be eternally grateful as they gave me hope and provided a glimmer of light at the end of a dark tunnel. But the loss of so many friends in the first couple of years after my diagnosis took its toll and I drifted away from the HIV world as I couldn't deal with the cumulative effects of multiple bereavements.

I threw myself into employment to give me something other than HIV to focus on and got a job working in local government where I climbed the public sector career ladder - lasted ten years in that environment before I realised that life was too short to spend writing dull reports for elected officials who couldn't really give a toss.

So I negotiated redundancy, took the money and set myself up as a self-employed consultant. A couple of big money jobs gave me some financial security and enabled me to concentrate on building up my HIV education business in schools. Thankfully that has proved to be a success and I now have over 120 schools on my books allowing me to only have to work for about half the year!

Health has been remarkably stable since diagnosis which I wish I could have predicted as in the early years I was convinced that every cough or cold was the beginning of the end - how wrong I was!

First illness didn't occur until 2003 when I developed pneumonia on a trip to Sydney and later that year also got shingles. I've had two relatively short periods on treatment (4 months in 1999/2000 and then 18 months from 2004/2005) but lack of compliance led me to stop all treatment in October 2005 and I remain off all meds currently.

Friends have called me 'ferociously independent' and I definitely prefer my own company to anyone else's although I am blessed with the most fantastic circle of friends who continue to go through this journey with me.

I've discovered since diagnosis that it's important to have a passion in my life so that when times get tough then these passions can pull me through. Thankfully mine are multiple in number and include Bruce Springsteen (43 gigs since 1991!); football (soccer for my US friends!); being creative - I am yet another AIDSMeds artist; playing golf (yes, really!) and travelling to Australia (5 visits in 15 years).

I always said that if I made it to the 10th anniversary after diagnosis then I would consider life after that as a bonus and I try to live each day now with a degree of thankfulness, joy and understanding of those less fortunate than myself.

I hope that gives you some small insight into me and apologies for not doing an intro sooner!

Emma

Teresa · « **Reply #1 on:** December 05, 2006, 08:32:25 pm »

Emma,

Thanks for sharing. Another fantastic read. You will have to post some of your art work for us to see!

Hugs
Teresa

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #2 on:** December 05, 2006, 08:56:10 pm »

Thanks for sharing a bit of yourself with us. Another artist, that's just great! I am seeing a great deal of talent here on the Forums. I agree with others who have said there should be something to display members art work. It is nice to meet you, Emma.

Life · « **Reply #3 on:** December 05, 2006, 09:09:10 pm »

Hi Emma... That was such a good read.. Thank you for allowing us into your life a bit more..

Love

Longislander · « **Reply #4 on:** December 05, 2006, 09:45:25 pm »

Thanks for sharing with us. (besides the post on sex thread!) that smile says alot!

swede_dish · « **Reply #5 on:** December 05, 2006, 11:46:28 pm »

Thank you for sharing this with all of us....it was a wonderful post! =)

aztecan · « **Reply #6 on:** December 06, 2006, 12:19:52 am »

Emma,
I really enjoyed learning more about you. I just love independent souls, and from what I have read here and elsewhere, you are definitely one.

Glad you shared with us.

HUGS,

Mark

Boo Radley · « **Reply #7 on:** December 06, 2006, 02:16:19 am »

Quote from: gemini20 on December 05, 2006, 08:10:38 pm

I always said that if I made it to the 10th anniversary after diagnosis then I would consider life after that as a bonus and I try to live each day now with a degree of thankfulness, joy and understanding of those less fortunate than myself.

I think we're both on the same RADAR screen, Emma. I have lived so long with HIV I don't have a clue what life would be like without this frigging virus. I have definitely become more compassionate (in my ego-centric sort of way) and when I can clearly focus every minute is a wonder to behold. I still wrestle with my own demons but even that is easier since I accepted my HIV status.

Life isn't easy for most of us but it sure helps to be grounded by the realization so many have so much more to endure than I do. I am often awestruck by how easy my life has been when I see what others have had to live with.

L' chaim!

Boo

DanielMark · « **Reply #8 on:** December 06, 2006, 03:54:50 am »

Thank you for posting that Emma,

I can definitely relate to "Friends have called me 'ferociously independent' and I definitely prefer my own company to anyone else's although I am blessed with the most fantastic circle of friends who continue to go through this journey with me." most of all.

Daniel

MSPspud · « **Reply #9 on:** December 06, 2006, 03:02:30 pm »

Emma - What an amazing journey, compassion, passion and fight. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

Jason

gemini20 · « **Reply #10 on:** December 06, 2006, 04:27:01 pm »

Thanks everyone for your kind comments - it took me ages to decide whether it was worth me posting or not and am now pleased that I did.

I also found it quite therapeutic to actually feel something as I was typing it up - me and feelings don't often communicate with each other and I worry sometimes that I've become emotionally detached from myself so it was good to reconnect if only fleetingly.

For those who wanted to see some art I am going to have to disappoint you at this time as all my photos of the paintings are over the 200kb size allowed as an attachment. I will however attempt to figure out if I can shrink the 1mb files down to an acceptable level but I'm not the most able computer user so you may have to wait til the weekend when I can devote time to figuring it out!

Best wishes to you all,

Emma

Christine · « **Reply #11 on:** December 06, 2006, 05:43:47 pm »

Hi Emma,
It is nice to meet you! Thanks for sharing your story.
Christine

ozzie · « **Reply #12 on:** December 06, 2006, 05:52:22 pm »

thanks for sharing your story with us Emma, you are an inspiration for me and im sure many more.

Jeffreyj · « **Reply #13 on:** December 06, 2006, 09:10:51 pm »

Emma,
You are an amazingly brave, strong women. And the work you do with all of those kids is just remarkable. England is lucky to have you! And we at aidsmed are lucky to have you as well. I love your posts and hope more are on the way!

Thank you for sharing!
Love,
Jeff

allopathicholistic · « **Reply #14 on:** December 11, 2006, 05:09:27 pm »

Hi Emma. Thanks for sharing. The 90's was quite a decade for you. Glad you're with us and I look forward to your updates re: artwork, staying off of meds (nice!), etc

Alex

Alain · « **Reply #15 on:** December 11, 2006, 05:35:04 pm »

Dear Emma,

Thanks for sharing yourself.

You have such a great way with getting on living.

And the smile....

Eldon · « **Reply #16 on:** December 11, 2006, 09:03:20 pm »

Hello Emma!

Thank you for taking the time out to share your Bio with us. We are happy to have you amoung us in our community!

Happy Holidays!

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Author Topic: Better late than never - Gemini20 - a brief history (Read 4882 times)