Newly diagnosed

[Journeyman]

I tested positive March 4, 2016. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I'm 50 years old and had tested negative years prior.    For days I felt like I was in a bubble! I immediately got online and research for where to turn and who to see.  I had my first visit to my ID Doctor on April 4.  I have my fourth visit tomorrow.  I have already started meds.  My Cd4 count was 197 and my VL  count was 67,000.  As this is all a lot to take in, I feel like emotionally I'm getting through this.  Physically there are no indications of even being infected.  Very thankful for that.   However this is constantly on my mind and get very anxious when it gets close to the time I need to take my meds.  I've not shared this news with any family or friends and don't intend to.  Does this get easier to live with from day to day and not feeling anxious or paranoid daily?

[zach]

hello journeyman, welcome to the boards

sorry about the dx, there is no easy way to absorb that kind of news

outstanding you're in treatment on meds already, way to respond quickly!

yes it gets easier

go extremely slowly with disclosure, once that cat is out of the bag, it runs where it wants

ps... your viral load is easily suppressed, knock that down and you'll see your cd4 count rise. trust, it's all going to be ok... just take your meds

[Journeyman]

Hi Zach, thank you for the words of encouragement.  I'm a natural worrier, but this went to a whole new level.  I find myself constantly reading about the side effects of the meds and worry.    Everything little thing I see our notice about me, I worry is this a sign of the HIV or the meds.  I'm sure,like everything else, this will become easier to deal and live with.  Once I know the meds are working and my VL is going down and my Cd4 is going up I'll feel better and adjust to my new normal.  Thanks to Poz Forum for an outlet and learning platform.  Thank you again for replying!

[LAGuy777]

Hi,
I tested positive in Aug 2015 at 53 years old.  I am a few months ahead of you in the diagnosis.  I am on meds and am now undetectable.  I couldn't believe this happened to me at my age.  It does get easier every day, but it takes a while.  I still struggle some days with depression or anxiety about it.  My partner is negative and now on PReP and supportive.  I haven't told anyone else...seems to cause me too much stress.  Take it one day at a time and you will be fine.

[Wade]

Hey Guys , Welcome to both of you.

You will be surprised how little your life will change other than more frequent labs
and doctor visits.  Im 61 and the more monitoring you get as you age is a good thing.

Things you wouldn't notice or go to the doctor for will be nipped in the bud .
So the way I look at it i'm probably going to live longer, and so will you !

Best, Wade

[leatherman]

welcome y'all! While it always sucks to welcome someone else to our group, it's a good group with lots of knowledge and support

my VL is going down and my Cd4 is going up I'll feel better

don't worry about your cd4s. just worry about staying adherent to the meds, to reach and remain undetectable. The cd4 count is only an amount. it is not a measure of your "healthiness" nor a measure of the strength of your immune system (although the common wisdom is that more tcells gives a person the potential for a more robust immune system)

When you stay adherent, the HIV dies off (the meds interrupt the reproduction cycle at various points) and your immune system will recover (at some unknown rate) to your normal level (which is also unknown, unless you had a cd4 test prior to becoming positive) which is based upon your genetics. While the "normal" range is somewhere from 400 to 1200 some people with low counts do well and some with high counts have issues.


btw, I recently turned 54 and have been living with HIV for 31.5 years. I'm in pretty damn good health although I've lived with my tcell count in the mid-200s for probably 25 of those years. I've certainly come a lot way from taking 32 pills and tablespoons of meds in a combination of all sorts of crazy times with tons of side effects to 3 pills a day (thank god those things keep getting improved!) and zero side effects.

[Tonny2]

          ojo          Hello journeyman...welcome...it will get better and do not feel anxious when is time to take your med/s, be greatful it/they is/are there to take, there are lots of people who don't have to luxury of having meds to take, or to make them feel better, and I'm not just talking about people with hiv, bbut people with other illnesses, like MS, MD, etc, etc...I know, it will take time to get ussed to the idea of having to take a medication and living with hiv, but trust me, it will get better, I, as leatherman, we are LTS, living with this for over 21 years, and, although, he is a bit older than me, lol, I gess months, cuz I will be 54 in August, OMG, we are old farts, lol...anyway, welcome again, best of luck domani...hugs                                  ojo