POZ Community Forums
Off Topic Forums => Forums Gatherings => Topic started by: David_CA on September 05, 2006, 10:53:25 pm
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I've been out of town for a few days camping. This campground is probably my favorite place to be. Sure, there's a lot of drinking; often there's too much. There's a lot of sex; naturally, it's not all safer sex. I see some self-destructive behavior there, but I see that in everyday life. I'm sure some folks would say that some of my behavior is self-destructive. It's often hot there; I'm not comfortable in extreme heat. There were so many people there over the Labor Day weekend that the hot water ran out several times.
So, with all these negatives, why do we (my partner and I... and about 450 other guys this weekend) 'endure' the campground? It's because we have fun... lots of fun. There is no drama. People do what they want to do. Yeah, there were too many people for me to socialize with, but I did my best. There are a few planned activities, but mostly we do what we want. The worst day is always the last, because, like kids at summer camp, we don't want to leave. Every trip to the campground is memorable in its own way.
Something about the campground brings out the best in people. One can walk up to just about anybody's campsite and just start a conversation. I can't think of many times we've walked past somebody and didn't speak. Almost every day we're invited to eat, drink, socialize, or whatever with others. People WANT to have a good time, and they do have a good time.
When one's thinking about an AMG, I think it's necessary to be realistic. No, you won't like every event. No, you won't like every person. You'll see behavior you don't like. People will bother you. It's kind of like life in general, except you'll be around a LOT of other HIV+ people. Realize this, and you'll likely enjoy the Gathering. Expect perfection and you'll certainly be disappointed.
Some people don't need to go to campgrounds, and some folks probably won't enjoy a Gathering. Be realistic about what you expect, look at all the pics, PM individuals you respect and ask about their experiences. Personally, I can't wait to go camping again... or for the next AMG!
David
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Thank you David for bringing a very important, necessary, and relevant perspective to the discussion.
I couldn't agree with you more.
RAB
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Hi David'n'David
I'm glad you both had a great time at the campground, and thank you for reminding us that our holidays and our AMG's are what we make it..in a large group of people there will always be something that is not to our liking...but I'm glad you didn't let anything stop you from having a good time..as you said "Sh*t happens" in the real world and it's down to us on how we handle it.
Miss you both
Hugs
Jan :-*
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DAvid.
Lisa was worried about you and D. and Ernesto (the hurricane) I told her you two were probably RUNNING AROUND NAKED (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=3474.0)
Was I right? ;)
robert ::)
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Hey David n David.........
What can I say....BRAVO! Couldn't have said it better myself. And I am looking
forward to the
next AMG.
And I certainly can't wait to see you guys again.
Thanks David for your input. Glad to hear
you guys missed the storm. :-*
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Yeah, we missed the storm... thanks for asking. It worked out well for us, as Georgia had cleared up (from the rain, etc) by the time we got there. Of course, we'll both be cleaning up the yard for the next couple of days! And Robert... how did you know? ;)
David
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Thank you David for this refreshing perspective. I too am one that feels very much as you do, and I so very much miss the Motorcycle Runs that I used to go on. Your report brings back a rush of memories, and some very pleasant thoughts and memories.
I would love to have AMG in the woods, and do a camping routine, but I doubt it would work, as so many require the hustle and bustle of a city center. Maybe we can push the gathering out of the center and into the fringe once in a while.
At any rate, your post was a total joy to read and thanks for the refreshing reminder/perspective.
IN Love,
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Hey David and David,
Thanks for the perspective and the visuals I concocted from it! :o
Someone at this year's gathering, I believe it was Rocky, told me I probably have a good time no matter where I'm at.
I hope that is true. I do usually manage to have fun, regardless of the setting. Montreal was a great experience for me and I look forward to future gatherings.
I also miss the motorcycle runs. Who could forget the Sons of Apollo, Hijos del Sol, Rocky Mountaineers, etc.?
Life is what you make of it. You grab it by the horns and run with it.
Now, anyone know how to get stains out of a sleeping bag?
HUGS,
Mark
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Hey David
Glad you guys had a fun Labor Day at R.E. Campground....
You are so right, people are unbelievably friendly and loving at men's camps, for some reason....I think it is the freedom we feel there, the feeling of being somewhere we 'belong'.
That's the way I felt in Montreal also. Very loved, very welcomed, and very much like I BELONGED there.
Hugs,
Alan
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I agree that David and David offer a refreshing perspective. I have lurked through much of the conversation, primarily respectful that some feel passionately about the Montreal experience. In retrospect, I wish I met and talked with more people than I did. I guess I usually wait until someone else initiates conversation (borderline shyness) and some may have interpreted my passiveness as being distanced or standoffish.
I am sensitive that in a group our size many will be exposed to things they find distasteful. David's recollection of the "campground" nicely provides a metaphor. The larger the gathering (from 20 to 40) the more difficult it is for introverts to mingle and the greater divergence of behaviors. It is unavoidable.
I must admit that I love my creature comforts, so I tolerate a city hotel (or a resort) better than a rustic setting. I must have hot water, a comfortable bed, and usually cable TV (although I hardly watched at all in Montreal.)
I think some group gatherings in a less noisy environment will help some to get to know each other better. As you know, I keep saying nametags would have been extremely helpful. I hope we can be sensitive to those who are uncomfortable in totally gay settings, but also sensitive to the need for gay people to not have to hide their affections or mannerisms in totally straight settings. All of us managed well in Quebec City and there was no gay village per se at all.
I just hope we continue to work on promoting the gathering. I agree with David that our HIV+ status ties us together in a special and profound way. This unity certainly helped me feel somewhat more comfortable and normal than I have felt in over a year. I wish I had been less introverted. Maybe I will be more outgoing the next time around.
Looking forward to the next AMG wherever it is (but hopefully, with hot water, comfortable bed, and yes, cable TV.)
Gary
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Hi David,
I'm glad you guys had fun at the camp grounds. And a very nice post. Though I've never been to one of those, I can imagine they are loads of fun!
stay well guy
cliff
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Hi everyone,
Thanks for the comments...
Tim - You're right, a camping type of gathering would be fun. Even if we used cabins or a lodge, it might work. Who's to say that we can't have a smaller gathering like this sometime?
Mark - Your visuals are likely pretty accurate! ;) Like you, I also generally have fun in most settings. I think you're smiling in every picture you're in (except for maybe in the Chapel). I'm not sure about how to get those stains out of a sleeping bag!
Alan - I think you've got it figured out. "... the feeling of being somewhere we 'belong'." is it.
Gary - I also like my creature comforts. When we go camping, we're generally so busy socializing that we don't get a chance to enjoy much more than decent heat or A/C, showers, and a comfy place to sleep. See if you can find a campground for men nearby and check it out. Maybe it'll help with some of that 'shyness' by making you feel more comfortable and 'normal'.
Cliff - We've been to a couple of these campgrounds. One is about 3 hours away and the one we go to now is about 6.5 hours away. It's by far the more fun of the two. You should try one sometime when you back in the States. I would imagine that there's some 'over there' too.
Take care,
David