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Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Peter Staley on July 22, 2006, 08:27:51 am

Title: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: Peter Staley on July 22, 2006, 08:27:51 am

For those of you who don't get POZ, the August issue's last page was written by Jonathan, and is well worth seeing & reading.  I've attached a picture of it to this post.

If you can't read the text, I've cut & pasted it here:

Escape Artist

I stare at the blood as it leaves my arm and crawls into the vacuum tube. It’s a dark burgundy. It’s the stuff of life. It’s the stuff of legend. It’s food for vampires. It’s death, infused with a virus. It is who I am, and yet I part with it every month.

I think about the people I have outlived. And I often wonder why I’ve outlived them. My decision to stop meds a year ago was, to my friends, the equivalent of dropping out of college. They respected my decision but thought I was an idiot who, they hoped, would reverse course sooner rather than later.

I have lived with HIV for 13 years. Lived with AIDS for 11 of them. Lived with AZT monotherapy and Viracept and about three dozen other names and abbreviations. Had OIs and STDs and STIs and all that junk. And I am still here. I am still alive.

I have made monumentally bad decisions on all fronts, from dabbling with drug adherence to dabbling with love. (Neither will work, by the way, unless you really commit.)

I am still here. And so many people are not. And I do not know why. My doctor does not know why. I stare at the blood as it leaves my arm. I carry the ghosts of braver, more beautiful, more worthy men and women whose blood is dust. Their hopes and dreams and love and bravery are legacies I feel compelled to perpetuate.

I am luckier than I will ever know.

—jonathan kivett


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Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: Teresa on July 22, 2006, 10:46:18 am

Very nice Jonathan!

Hugs
Teresa

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: Christine on July 22, 2006, 10:51:29 am

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. I wish I could write how I felt right now, but I can't find the words. You have a gift, that was so good.
Christine

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: AlanBama on July 22, 2006, 11:01:11 am

Beautiful!

Jonathan, you always inspire me.   We are lucky to have you!

Hugs,

Alan

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: zephyr on July 22, 2006, 12:23:13 pm

Hi Peter,

I applaud you and the entire POZ staff for seeking articles written by Jonathan. Since joining the Forums in September last year, I have always been riveted by his amazing talent, his clear perspectives, and of course, by his heart.

I am happy to call him my friend.

Best regards,

Zephyr

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: Cliff on July 22, 2006, 12:29:40 pm

Nice writing Jonathan and cheers to Peter for bringing it to our attention.

- Cliff

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: JR Gabbard on July 22, 2006, 12:43:52 pm

   Jonathan, you are a true poet.  And that, from me, is the highest praise there is!

   J.R.

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: angels4kelly on July 22, 2006, 12:57:04 pm

That was really great Jonathan!I really had no idea of the talent you possess.
I guess I haven't been around the forums long enough.
I'm proud to "know" you!

You're awesome ;)
Peace,
Kelly

                                                                       (http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g142/angels4kelly/thallthatmatters7lb.png)

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: cph9680 on July 22, 2006, 04:22:52 pm

That's fantastic!  I'll have to see if I can get my grubby paws on a copy, that's really beautiful!

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: Eldon on July 22, 2006, 04:40:27 pm

Peter, Johnathan is keeping it real. Thanks for sharing this post with the family here.

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: Jeffreyj on July 22, 2006, 05:30:18 pm

Wow. Now that was beautiful written. Thank you Peter and thanks to Jonathan for such thoughtful and meaningful writting.

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: RobT on July 23, 2006, 02:48:04 am

Beautifully written, Jon. I hope to b reading more from u.

RobT

9/27/2005-1st test results
Viral Load >1,000,000
CD4 204
CD4%age 18
CD4/CD8 ratio .23
11/24/2005- Sustiva/Truvada
04/18/2006
Viral Load 140
CD4 402
CD4%age .21
CD4/CD8 ratio .39

06/27/2006
Viral Load 42
CD4 409
CD4%age .21
Next appt.-08/01/2006 (results/Hep A/B vaccination)

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: DancerBoy on July 23, 2006, 03:09:04 am

Jonathan-
     You never cease to amaze me.  I'm so lucky that you're in my life.  I love you to death.
-D

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: sweetasmeli on July 23, 2006, 04:58:38 am

Jonathan, your writing style never fails to astound me...at times it boggles my mind too...but it always astounds me! Bravo!

Melia :)

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: Nadine on July 23, 2006, 08:22:00 am

Jonathan...I am in awe every time I read something from you! Very nice!

Thanks Peter for posting this.

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: livingpositively on July 23, 2006, 02:22:12 pm

Thanks for posting this, Peter.

WOW, Jonathan...that was awesome.  You really do have one helluva gift there.  Thank you for contiually sharing it with us in so many ways.

Shane

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: ademas on July 23, 2006, 02:30:38 pm

Very powerful writing, Jonathon.
Thanks for sharing your gifts with us.

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: david25luvit on July 24, 2006, 12:22:51 pm

Peter...Thank you for sharing this with us.  As always Jonathan speaks from the heart...I for one am glad he's still around to remind us of how fortunate we are...and what a gift life truly is!

A Big Thumbs Up Guys :-*

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: pozguy75 on July 24, 2006, 02:09:05 pm

Peter thanks for sharing this!

Jonathan...I have missed you...well, I have missed a lot recently, but just reading your words are inspirational! Thank you...for just being you!

Hugz!!
Jeromy

Title: Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
Post by: Brian360 on July 24, 2006, 06:15:30 pm

Very Raw...Very Nice!!