probably paranoid

[paranoidinSA]

Hi, I first just wanted to say thank you for having this forum. Reading through it has helped me learn a lot about how to protect myself from HIV. From reading through this forum, I know that I'm probably being paranoid but I have pretty bad anxiety so I figured talking to some people on here would help me relax a little.

So, I'm a male currently doing research (on HIV of all things) in Cape Town, South Africa. Five days ago, I had a one night stand with another guy and I am unsure about his HIV status. We had anal sex and I bottomed. While we had sex, he wore a condom. He asked me if he could take off the condom and I said no. I am fairly sure that he kept the condom on for the rest of time we had sex because when he pulled out to ejaculate I heard him take off the condom. After he ejaculated, I straddled him (no penetration) and ejaculated. I thought nothing of this encounter until recently when I began having night sweats and developing a sore throat. I know that symptoms don't really mean anything but the development of these symptoms after having anal sex with someone of unknown status was enough to send my mind into an anxious spiral. Right now my main 2 concerns are if somehow the condom might have broken or if when I straddled him some of his semen may have come into contact with my anus, which may have been bleeding a little since i had not bottomed in awhile prior to that time. I did see the condom afterwards and it looked in tact but I didn't have my glasses on so I may have missed small ruptures and I didn't actually touch the condom either. My hope would be that if he noticed that condom break he would have stopped, but he was also ok with not using a condom at all so I don't know if he would have done that. Do you think if the condom did break or if his semen did come into contact with my anus from straddling him that I could be at risk or are these symptoms just playing mind games with me? Thanks so much for your help!

[Jeff G]

It sounds like you had protected sex and your nerves got the better of you . As long as you are using condoms correctly and consistently for anal and vaginal sex you will avoid HIV and as a sexually active person you should be having regular sexual healthcare check ups now and than any way .

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI.Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you did not have a risk and do not need to test for this specific incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

[paranoidinSA]

Thanks for your input! I think it's just my nerves as well. Just as a general question, when a condom does break, is it generally very obvious? I know for a top it would probably start feeling different, but as a bottom would it be pretty obvious visually or maybe by hearing the condom break or should I just be checking to ensure that the condom isn't broken throughout sex? Thanks again!

[Jeff G]

Condoms are designed so they leave no doubt when they fail, they shred or fall apart or even break in half . 

[paranoidinSA]

Ok well when I glanced over at the condom it still seemed like it was holding its shape so that is reassuring. Thanks so much for answering my questions so quickly! Definitely gave me a lot of peace of mind. I will continue to test routinely for STDs/HIV. Thanks again!

[Jeff G]

You are welcome !