BRIEF ANAL AND SCARED

[mcintrepid]

I had a scary encounter 4 weeks ago and I am freaked out about it.  I hooked up with a guy that I have hooked up with once before, about a year or so ago.  He said that he was D&D free and that we can play safe and no exchange of fluids.  This time we did mutual oral with no ejaculation and he rimmed and fingered me.  He then penetrated me for about 3-5 seconds, when I realized he didn't have a condom on and I freaked out.  I made him stop immediatley.  He didn't ejaculate and only thrusted 2, maybe 3 times and only penetrated me a couple of inches.   It also ruined the moment and ended the encounter.  I was tested this week for the full gambit of STDs, all negative so far and now have to wait a few days for the HIV results.  This is really freaking me out.  I am a bisexual guy who only has about 4-6 male to male encounters a year, which is almost always limited to mutual oral.  I have only been bottomed 3 times before this, all protected and I have only topped about 6 times before, all protected again.  I get my test results back in a few days but in the meantime I am really scared.  Since this has happened my sex drive has gone to zero and I am very worried.  I have read quite a few of the threads in here and they are very informative and comforting.  I hope you can give me some advice that will ease my nerves a bit until I recieve the test results.

[Andy Velez]

Hi Mc,

From what you have described, the risk was minimal in the situation. But just to be absolutely certain about your status, getting tested is a good idea. However, since all but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after a possible exposure, I recommend you wait another two weeks to be tested.

The CDC recommends testing at 13 weeks. Assuming you test negative as I expect you will, it's up to you to decide whether you want to be absolutely sure in which case re-test at 13 weeks.

You can have all the sex you want to with whomever. Just make sure that whoever is the insertive partner is always without exception wearing a condom. Having a conversation about that before events begin is often a good move to insure about safer sex.

I expect you to come out of this one ok.

[mcintrepid]

Thanks for your reassuring words.  I have had trouble sleeping and my mind keeps wandering.  I am stressed out over this.  I do plan on getting tested again in a few months.  Hopefully by then my sex drive will return.  I know it is probably all in my head but disturbing none the less.

[Andy Velez]

I see this situation as more about in your head stuff than actual risk. So work on staying productively busy. When you find yourself tensing up, take some good deep and slow breaths in and out. It's amazing what a difference having enough oxygen can make. Do it. It really works.

When you get scared, just notice the thought or feeling and take a breath. Soon another different feeling or thought will come. The problem is when you panic and want to push thoughts and feelings away. Then they really stick and things get nutz.

I expect you to come out of this ok.

Cheers,   

[mcintrepid]

Thanks again for your comforting words.  It does help ease my anxiety.http://

[mcintrepid]

I have to wait until Monday for my results.  Still having bouts of fear and depression.  The breathing helps a bit, but still quite scared.  Does the fact that he didn't ejaculate and that the penetration was only very brief (3-5 seconds) reduce the risk very much?

[cubbybear]

Congrats on taking the first step to getting your test result, I know it can be daunting to get tested, but testing for STI's including HIV is very important to get done several times a year if you are sexually active and want to stay on top of your health.

It would increase the risks if your partner did ejaculate inside of you assuming he would be hiv+, which your partner did not ejaculate inside of you so you should place that furthest from your mind for this situation and yes limited to a couple of thrusts helps.  You are protected from HIV the entire time you or your partner are using a condom, so always make sure there's one on for any intercourse.

I am confident that you will receive a negative result from the above situation.

I know waiting for results can be a little nerve wracking, try and keep yourself busy, spend time with friends, or better still spend some money on yourself.

Cheers,
Matt

[mcintrepid]

Test results are back from 28 day test, all are negative (Thank God).  I am breathing a lot easier now.  Thank you to those that answered and helped ease my anxiety.  The clinic told me I should test again in 5 months.  I have read in here that test again should be at the 3 month mark.  Any comments on whether I should test again at 3 or 6 months??

[Andy Velez]

The CDC is quite conservative in relation to testing and has for sometime recommended 3 months as a reliable testing point.

So re-test at 13 weeks past the most recent incident of concern, collect what I expect will be another negative result and get on with your life.

Cheers,