Nightmares

[Ihavehope]

Hey Guys

I have been someone who has enjoyed sleeping long hours especially during a rainy cold weekend.Just cuddle up with my pillows and dream of all the things I been wanting to do such as travelling the world and love. Since my diagnosis I have had insomia and scary nightmares. My nightmares are not about monsters or spooky things but instead of me doing drugs that I have stopped using in the past. Drugs caused me to do things that I wouldn't normally do such as unprotected sex which led to me becoming poz. It's been 3 months since I been clean and 2/5 times I have been tempted to do drugs in my dreams I fall back into them. I feel as if something powerful is testing me after I promised myself and God I would never touch these drugs again. After those two nightmares where I did do the drugs I have felt like I failed God and myself. I never knew how powerful these nightmares would be, after all they are just dreams. I am ok and dandy throughout the day but once the sun sets I don't want to sleep.

I am a spiritual person and believe that many signs were there that were trying to prevent me from getting in danger but somehow I ignored them thinking it was all in my head. I know many people online here are not spiritual nor religious but for those who are is this a test? Can i be so weak in real life like in my dreams.

[Seven]

Well I found out I was poiz in Dec 05 and I am okay with it. But I do get tons and tons of mightmares. But mine are really extreme. Torture, people chashing me, shotting me, stabbing me. Its because of my nightmares I always wake up in a mood. I hate it but what really can do done. I mean sometimes I do actually sleep with NO dreams. I love those days I wish I can sleep like that everynight. I am always so damn tired. My doc says when you dream your mind is working so yes when you wake up you will be tired. I know this doesnt answer what you asked, but wanted to let you know that you are not the only one have bad dreams.

[tsw923]

Ihavehope,

I am a pretty spiritual person.  I believe that God communicates with us in a LOT of ways.  I also think dreams are a way of you communicating with yourself, talking through issues that you maybe don't want to deal with head on.  To me your dreams are pulling up your silent fears and making you remember why you made your pledge.  Maybe the dreams will stop once you take charge in your dream...not just 'don't do drugs', but do something positive that makes that fear something of the past.  Once you figure it out, then maybe you can take what you've done out of your dream and then put it into work in your waking life.

Also, here's something that my mom used to tell me to do for recurring bad dreams.  I've done it and it seems to work for me.  Take your Bible (or equivalent) to bed.  Open to a chapter or verse that talks about relying on God's strength when you can't rely on your own.  For me Psalm 23 or Psalm 27.  Read it, then put the open book under your pillow and then go to sleep. 

Hope this helps,

TSW

[koi1]

Hey Ivahope,

I hope your nightmares will soon be over after you start feeling better. Though I don't believe in god, I do believe in thinking positive thoughts. Sometimes when we go through traumatic events such as you have gone through, it is hard to think that things will get better.

However, things will get better for you. I think the hardest thing is to give up the thought that you let people down. Then there is always the shame and guilt that the traditional judeochristian upbringing drills into our heads, especially as gay men. I think so much has to do with self acceptance. That in itself is a long journey. Though I am comfortable with my sexuality now. I cannot say I have reached 100 percent self acceptance. That is still in my to do list of life. May you get closer to fully accepting yourself, faults and all. I think that is a big key to healing and feeling better.

rob

[Eldon]

You are far from being weak. In fact, it is the opposite...You are strong! You just have to take a deeper look within you and you will find it buried underneath a lot of fear of uncertainty.

In your dreams, it goes back to the relation of your past experiences that have made a mental impact on you. There is a way to overcome this...when you have that thought, counter-act that thought with a positive thought of something different. Each time you do this, it will become easier and easier to put those thoughts to death.

[ndrew]

The best antidote for fear is to face it    I don't see why you can't do this in your dreams.  The good thing about the content in a nightmare is that it can't really hurt you.

You could also write out your nightmare in the morning with a happy ending or imagine a happy ending after a nightmare wakes you up.

Bests,
Drew

[Ihavehope]

Last night I dreamnt of having sex with porn stars. I didn't really like it because i felt icky. Even in my dreams sex has become something disgusting. Everyone tells me it's normal not to be interested in sex in the begining of finding out but to be quite honest I want to throw up everytime I see a hot guy. Lol. I find them repulsive.

[bear60]

I dont normally talk about this subject because I think dreams are misinterpreted or misunderstood.  Dreams for me are totally a result of what I ate or what I drank or what medications I'm taking. Or how horny I am.  They are a reflection of how you FEEL.