Scared After Encounter - Originally Posted To Medhelp

[PieandMash14]

Hi All,

I originally posted this to medhelp, but I felt like I was just being brushed off (three different folks told me that the only way HIV is spread is through penile-anal sex, penile-vaginal sex, or sharing works.  They said I couldn’t have it if I didn’t insert my penis).  However, I am particularly worried about the two day old burn I had on my finger when I fingered the other person, as I am terrified it could be classified as an open wound and could have come in contact with rectal secretions if it had been inserted deep enough.  What are all of your thoughts regarding my exposure? 

Thanks!

———————

Hi All,

I’m a late 30’s happily married, heterosexual male.  Exactly two weeks ago, I had my very first encounter with a guy.  I met him online.  He told me he was openly gay and in a relationship.  When I asked if he was “clean” he stated that he was, or his boyfriend would have killed him by now (I didn’t ask about last test, specific diseases, etc).   

My risk factors are:

- Receptive unprotected deep-throating with ejaculation (as I recall, the semen was never in my mouth, it was on the back of my tongue/down my throat).  Can that be considered a high risk exposure for HIV infection?
- Insertive unprotected oral with ejaculation.   
- I fingered and rimmed his anus.  The issue there was I had a two day old burn (probably second degree, one cm long and half a cm wide) towards the base of my index finger.  I had popped the blister the afternoon before, but part of the dead blister/dead skin that had formed the blister remained over some of the exposed skin.  The skin that was exposed was pinkish-orange and I noticed it would occasionally ooze a clear liquid.  I did not notice blood.  Would a burn at this point and in this state still be considered an open wound?  If it came in contact with rectal secretions, would this be high risk exposure?   
- Receptive rimming and anal fingering.  What is the risk if his finger was bleeding and I was bleeding (I have a few hemorrhoids)?   
- The head of my penis was pressed against his anus two different times for no more than two to three seconds each.  I don’t believe any portion went in, but if the very tip happened to enter, would that be considered a high risk exposure?  Also, I need to be worried about any potential blood, etc. that may have been outside of his anus?   

I freaked out the next day and asked him if I should go to a doctor, but he didn’t respond.  All he said was that it turns out that he came down with a bad cold, so I would most likely get that and then he went silent.  Now I’m freaking out that it wasn’t a bad cold at all and that he was actually in the process of seroconversion.  is this an unfounded fear?  Do all these risks taken together increase my chances of infection if indeed he was positive?  I’m absolutely terrified that I may have infected myself! 

[Jim Allen]

I have not much to add to what the other forum has already told you.

The word “clean” to indicate "Negative" suggests that an HIV-positive is unclean, therefore dirty. I'm clean I washed this morning, HIV does not make me dirty or come from being dirty. The term "clean" can be very offensive to some people living with HIV and since this is a HIV community forum I would ask you to watch your language

The whole burned finger is No HIV risk. Despite wounds, scrapes, bumps & boo boo's there has simply never been a documented case of HIV transmission via fingering, end of story really.  So you will not be the worlds first. It simply lacks direct exposure needed.

As for what fluids touched your burn generally whilst fooling around, HIV does not remain infectious outside the human body, once hiv finds itself exposed outside the body, small changes in temperature, pH / moisture levels all damage the receptors rendering it unable to infect. This is so much the case that nobody has sexually ever been infected with HIV once its exposed outside the confides of the body to the environment.

Regarding the blowjob, the virus is very fragile, and your mouth has dozens of protein and enzymes that damage the virus and render it unable to infect. Also without gaping open wounds your mouth lacks the cells to infect, however even if you had "meth mouth"  There is still no need to run test over this, just get tested the next time you are due for a regular checkup and fully expect a negative result.

The only risk you mentioned was

happily married, heterosexual male.

Ill presume this means unprotected intercourse, well that is a risk. Simple Fact! It does not matter who it's with or how you feel about them or if you trust the person or not, it is simply biologically speaking how HIV is transmitted and a risk to you. I am not judging people who have unprotected intercourse within a relationship, simply understand  that if you both decide to have unprotected sex, its a choice based I presume on trust between you as a couple. Just know that the choice does come with a HIV & increased STI risk that you are both accepting so test at least yearly.

Not much more I can say.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider starting PrEP as an addtional layer of protection against HIV

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

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[PieandMash14]

Hi JimDublin,

Pardon my ignorance by using the word clean.  It was the word I used in the chat.  I did not mean to be offensive.  I apologize. 

I just have two follow-ups:

- If my injured finger was inserted deep enough into his rectum, couldn’t that expose the burn (it looked pretty gnarly) to potentially tainted rectal secretions?  That is still not a threat? 

- As regards my infidelity, I have do not plan on having intercourse with my spouse until I take a test at eight weeks.  Just to ensure she is safe.  She doesn’t know about this encounter, but I can’t put her at risk. 

Thanks!

[Jim Allen]

- If my injured finger was inserted deep enough into his rectum, couldn’t that expose the burn (it looked pretty gnarly) to potentially tainted rectal secretions?  That is still not a threat? 

My backside is not tainted ...  Anyhow moving on, Asked and answered already. Finger deep or to your elbow to be blunt about it no difference, no risk

- As regards my infidelity, I have do not plan on having intercourse with my spouse until I take a test at eight weeks.  Just to ensure she is safe.  She doesn’t know about this encounter, but I can’t put her at risk. 

Asked and answered already.

If you have unprotected intercourse with your wife you are accepting a HIV risk to you!

Ill close with the encounter with the guy was no real world risk, just a lot of guilt perhaps but no amount of guilt creates a HIV risk.  The only risk you had was from your wife and if you ever have a real world exposure test at 6 weeks and 13 weeks post exposure for a conclusive result "Again" this encounter with the guy was not an exposure, move on with your life.

Jim

[PieandMash14]

Thanks, JimSublin!  I appreciate it!