Newly diagnosed POS

[Alien]

I am 25 Year old. Indian. I diagnosed HIV Pos around 10 days ago. did another western bloat test and it is positive as well. A guy has given it to me around 1.5 month ago. Condom break during sex. He didn't tell me that he is pos.
I didn't sleep from past 10 days, I feel like dirty and I have ruined my life. Thought of killing myself is always there.
I always use protection, it must be somehow, it failed.

I so wanted to kill myself. I am just a shame for my family and society. I don't have courage to tell anyone.
I just have a question for you all - Is living worth with this disease ? Dying everyday with some infection or side effect of medicines ? Or suicide is better than that ?

[Jim Allen]

Hi

Look sorry to hear you have tested positive and I am really sorry to hear that you ae feeling the way you are, you should not be and I will get into that in a min.

First just want to check have you had your VL and CD4 counts back yet and have you discussed treatment with your doctor?

Dying everyday with some infection or side effect of medicines ?

Why have you settled on only the two choices when neither are the truth or need to be?

I am living with HIV and I have had kids, I have a career, I travel, I love, laugh and live like many people who live with a manageable illness I pop a pill a day to manage it and move on with my life.

Being newly diagnosed is however a bit of a mind fuck and it's normal to be concerned and wonder "what if" but this will settle.  Life with HIV goes on as normal, its simply not a big game changer. It's in short take your meds and live your life.

Expect to have to work, pay bills, pay the rent, fall in love, get married if you are into that or don't, have a career and designer shoes if it pays well, have kids if that's the plan, eat well and be fat if that makes you happy or go to the gym 3 days a week and be buff etc etc etc, Simply put life with HIV in the scheme of things changes nothing and life goes on as normal, and with treatment Life expectancy has reached near normal and so you should expect to live a long and productive, boring life as you normally would expect   

I don't have courage to tell anyone.

Except for your doctor you don't have to rush out and tell anyone if you don't want, with as exception than in some jurisdictions you might need to tell future lovers.

I so wanted to kill myself.

Why are you ashamed? Ashamed of what if you don't mind me asking? You picked up a virus, it does not judge or care who you are and effects millions of people. It does not change who you are at all. 

Do you have anyone to talk to face to face about how you are feeling? Even if its your doctor you should tell someone how you are feeling so they know what you are going though and can at least listen and prehaps provide support or insights. Hang in there man, i know being newly diagnosed can be rough but this truly is not the end of the world.

Now I am going to kindly ask you for the moment to only post in this one thread at least until you have stated treatment, its so members can better assist you with questions and thoughts during this initial time.

Take it easy

Jim

[Alien]

Thanks Jim for reply,  I haven't test the CD4 and other counts. I am worried to go to doc. I took the appointment but didn't go. Once I start the medicine I have to take it for life.

How normal do you think your life is? Apart from treatment, do you Go for hiking or cold places ?
Isn't there is always the risk of infection ? How much complications you phase during day to day life?

I will be a useless person for a lifetime.

[Alien]

Why have you settled on only the two choices when neither are the truth or need to be?-

So you don't get the infections and what about the side effects? I have read that side effects include night horrors, sweat, rashes, kidney and heart failure and most importantly aging.weight loss as well. I am already thin.

Why are you ashamed ?
The stigma with HIV in india, It feels like I have ruined my life. I have put that shame and lifelong pain on myself which I have.
Does this pain fades ?

I don't have anyone to talk to. I can't even tell this to anyone.

[leatherman]

Once I start the medicine I have to take it for life.

lots of people take lots of medications for lots of reasons. Many people take even everyday meds (like aspirin or antihistamines) for life. HIV meds are the ONLY things that controls HIV. Instead of being anxious about taking them for life, you need to change that attitude and realize these meds are saving your life every day and that's a wonderful thing!

as to side effects, read the package insert information about your meds (google the drug name and "package insert"). Mild side effects usually happen to less than 10% of patients and major side effects are usually in the 2-3% range. Realize that if side effects were more than that, these drugs would have never been approved.

Of course the side effect of untreated HIV is death, and by comparison to that, any side effect of your med can't be that bad. The biggest side effect of HIV meds is LIFE!

How normal do you think your life is? Apart from treatment, do you Go for hiking or cold places ?

After living with HIV for 33 yrs and taking HIV meds for 25 years, my life is incredibly normal. I'll be turning 56 in March of 2018, even though when I was in the hospital in March 1996 and 1998, the doctors told me that I wouldn't live to see another day. I got married just over a year ago and couldn't be happier. My husband and I have renewed our season pass for a 5th year for the local amusement park. We hike occassionally and I go to the gym for an hour workout every morning.

Isn't there is always the risk of infection ? How much complications you phase during day to day life?

once your viral load is undetectable and your cd4 count is over 200, the risk of infection is no different than it is for any other person on the planet. On the right meds, undetectable and with an improved cd4 count, there are no complications in my day-to-day life. Taking 3 pills a day (on my regimen) is not a complication either... it's just part of my daily routine.

I will be a useless person for a lifetime.

you'll only be as useless as you let yourself be. Or, if you choose to be productive and visionary, you can be anything you want. HIV is only a disease, a treateable disease. Don't let it define you or limit you.

[Jim Allen]

Okay well like i said stay in this thread for the time being

Once I start the medicine I have to take it for life.

Yeah life long, its great .... We and you have a wonderful choice to choose life, instead of dying now (too soon) without it. Many people take life long treatments - High blood pressure, diabetes etc etc and it  enables them to live normal lives, HIV is no different. 

How normal do you think your life is?

I will be a useless person for a lifetime.

HIV has not changed my life, and you have the same choice its fully up to you, i choose not to let it be a game changer. I have traveled more in my life since being HIV positive, met more people that ever before and chosen to live my life.  You have the same choice to live your life, HIV is not an excuse nowadays not to.

Apart from treatment, do you Go for hiking or cold places ?

Oh man if you go though the off-topic i am always creating photo threads of places i go and see, i live in Ireland its cold 300 days of the year. I just got back from Reno Nevada USA last week and Orlando Florida 3 weeks before that.   

I've been to Germany, France, Belgium, Greece, Italy, Spain, USA, UK, NI, Holland, Luxembourg, Portugal, Poland, and a few more that I am simply forgetting in the moment, I've climbed mountains and been down caves and done road trips across the nation. I have furthered my career more than ever-before, banged the office girls several times, several offices  and been raising two kids .... I am sure forgot a few things

Recent out and about:

Reno Trip:
https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=68281.0

Climbing Slieve League mountain - County Donegal - Ireland
https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=67728.0

The Marble Arch Caves - County Fermanagh, Northern Ireland
https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=67730.0

Holland (NL)
https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=66807.0

Wexford
https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=66644.0

There are a dozen more photo threads of mine ...

Isn't there is always the risk of infection ? How much complications you phase during day to day life?

Well if you don't start treatment soon you will be facing problems.

Complications?? None and if i had any from the treatment i would switch its that simple, in this day and age even in India there are more than one combination possible and if a treatment other than a few days/weeks of initial adjustment did not agree with me i would switch.

jim

[Alien]

Thank you for your kind words. Jim and leatherman.
This time these are not fitting in my mind.
I just keep thinking about the negative things. If HIV is so normal and manageable, then why so many people died because of this? Why do I read so many people worried leaving with HIV?

I have to visit my parents this weekend - it's a small town - I have to go there for 3-4 days. I will be back on Tuesday - and then I am thinking of going to doctor to do the tests and start meds. Is it too late ? Should I do this early? If so I have to cancel the trip.

[Jim Allen]

People post concerns and than leave or fade away from the forum and internet as they simply get over being diagnosed and they realize that life goes on. Very few members stick around, it does give an incorrect view when reading back threads hence I try to post the positive (pardon the pun) 

Once you start treatment give it a year tops and you will no longer visit the forum or at least not regularly simply because life will continue and take up your time with better things

If HIV is so normal and manageable, then why so many people died because of this?

The past so many reasons to start with no treatment.

Today its still an issue with only half the people in the world receiving treatment  , Late diagnosis is another problem meaning some are sick to start with or too late  only finding out after death that they had HIV, also governmental funding issue, war, the list of bad reasons why not goes on and on and is not your personal concern or focus at the moment.

Your only concern or focus should be yourself right now and starting treatment for a better health outcome. You could begin by reading this brief and useful lesson: Starting treatment https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/starting-hiv-treatment

If you are newly diagnosed with treatment Life expectancy for young people taking HIV therapy has reached near normal and so you should expect to live a long and productive life.

Jim

https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=51849.msg719533#new

[CaveyUK]

If you go back far enough in history, millions of people died through minor infections that are commonplace and that you yourself will have had a number of times in your lifetime already.

Then came antibiotics. Effective treatment stopped the vast majority of people dying from regular bugs doing the rounds.

Now go back to the 80s. People were dying with a newly identified virus, in quite horrific ways.

Then came ARVs. Effective treatment stopped the vast majority of people dying from AIDS, although the early generations of these drugs were quite tough and had a number of short and long-term side effects that in themselves were quite hard to take.

The ARVs available in 2017 are vasty superior. Side effects in most cases don't exist, and where they do they tend to be mild and the person can be switched onto a different drug if necessary. From MY perspective, I have a rougher time taking over-the-counter decongestants than I do from my HIV meds. I live a good life, have a car/house/job/girlfriend(who is negative) and I travel and do all the stuff I did before the diagnosis.

The key nowadays is getting diagnosed and onto treatment ASAP. This reduces the risk of long term damage before drugs are started. For someone with no health issues, who starts prompt treatment, the outlook is really good...I mean live-as-long-as-you-would-without-HIV good.

People sadly still die of AIDS however. These are generally those who for one reason or another do NOT get or stay on the treatment. In some parts of the world this could be for financial reasons, in others it could be due to stigma or refusal to accept the diagnosis.

If you have a confirmed diagnosis, then it is important you start the meds as soon as you possibly can. I guarantee you will see that over time, the drugs are amazing, don't have any nasty side effects and will allow you to live a long and healthy life.

And quit reading anything online relating to HIV/AIDS that is more than a few years old, as the information won't be as up to date and may relate to when drugs were not as good, or as available.

You don't need to tell anyone unless you are ready to. Take that immediate pressure off for the moment. Right now, we are here to help and can answer any questions you have.

It really is up to you now. If you want to live, have a good life and fulfil all the dreams you have had then you need to get onto treatment. If you don't go on treatment then unfortunately, the outlook is no different to how it was in the 80s. It really should be a no-brainer.

[CaveyUK]

Oh, and don't cancel your trip this weekend unless you really want to. If you have picked up the virus recently, a few days rest and relaxation won't do you any harm whatsoever and may help you clear your mind.

I also found behaving as normally as I could post diagnosis, helped me see that nothing had REALLY changed in most parts of my life. I personally think this is better than sitting inside staring at a wall and worrying.

[Alien]

Thank you Cavey and Jim.
I tried to sleep last night.. but can't sleep. Things keep coming in my mind.
I shouldn't have sleep around. I am the one who has bring this pain and shame on myself.  
It won't have happened if I could have control myself.
There is all guilt and shame left. and then I keep thinking about living with a disease for lifetime. I tried to control mind but I can't. I just keep thinking about the future.

[Jim Allen]

Your future is what it is and has not changed unless you let it change.

Look being newly diagnosed can throw the thought process off, try to take a step back and look at the situation.

You picked up a virus, unfortunate but it happened you can't change that, you can however take medication 1 or 2 pills a days to suppress the virus and secure your future and your life will than continue as normal.

Finally why be ashamed for something nearly 99% of the adult population does.
Millions of people are having sex whilst i am typing this and before the end of the day millions more will have done so. Its a perfectly normal natural biological and healthy driven need and activity. Your parents had sex, your grandparents as well for that matter, the people you work with do it as well, the people across the road and so did the little old lady down the road.

Jim

[Rj7890]

I have kind of the same story.. I’m also from India.. recently diagnosed been 6 months.. life is very much normal.. let’s catch up on the phone.. if you don’t mind me asking which part of India are you from.

[Alien]

The thought of dying.. and life will end is not going from my mind. I keep thinking about the same.. for each and every moment. I see some children smiling and think that I can't laugh like that ever. I am finished and I am the reason for my own misery .

Hi RJ7890, let me ping you over pm. I would really like to talk to someone.

[harleymc]

You are not a shame on your family, your society yourself or anyone.

You just have a virus. It's not a virus that has a moral judgement, it's not a virus that discriminates.

Get some help for your depression.

[Alien]

Thank you everyone, I am better.
Panic attack is still consistent.
Que :
We have to stuck with the medical regiment consistently and on the same time daily? Facts on that. How consistent and is the timing is also fixed. What if we miss some doze. And what about the diet that we have to follow? Let me know the diet or special thing you do for medications?
2. There are many breakthrough going on right now. I keep reading the news that there UK person who are cured. What are the probability that a cure might develop by 2025? Just curious. Hope is the coping mechanism.

[Jim Allen]

1)

Depending on what medication you take you might be requested to take it with a meal to ensure correct absorption, on the other-hand some medications are take with or without food and other are without. Example I am taking Triumeg, I can take it with or without food but need to avoid taking it with supplements or St. John’s wort https://www.poz.com/drug/triumeq 

Here is a lesson on nutrition and HIV https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/hiv-nutrition

My point of view is that generally speaking eat whatever you like, I mean a healthy balanced diet is a choice and better for people regardless of HIV status. Look I cut out the bad habits, smoking and drinking alcohol as its just bad no matter what. I still eat like a pig and always will. There is no "HIV" diet, HIV does not care what you eat food wise.

Here is the drug chart 2017 and you can view some of the combo's etc.
https://www.poz.com/article/2017-hiv-drug-chart

2)

There are always breakthroughs and leading studies that promise the next big thing, but until its either proven and verified or in my hand it simply does not exist.  Being optimistic is one thing putting dates on a cure is something different, look nobody is saying don't be optimistic just don't be setting yourself up for disappointment. In the here and now you need to start treatment and take your medication and live your life.

Nobody has been cured in the UK. UK like a few other nations keep putting out news of finding a cure either due to media or over excited researchers. its just research or sometimes because a patient has delayed rebounding in a study however that is nothing new as rebounding is often different per patient, that said it is okay as we even learn from the failures.  At the end of the day no cure or treatment unfortunately just bad/false reporting from the media.

Research takes time, effort and as much as over the years key things have been learned, at times the most promising research failed. Personally speaking my meds are so good that I see them as my (near) functional cure, I pop a pill a day and I am grand, I live my life. 

If it helps you to live in hope for a cure that's up to you but again ill warn that putting a date on it is just setting yourself up for disappointment if not worse.  See I know people who believed a cure was around the corner and so have gone off the meds because of this and suffered or paid the price for that. I would hate for you to fall into that trap.

Take it easy

Jim

PS 

I keep reading the news that there UK person who are cured.

There is a thread on the not cured UK person you are referring to if you are interested in reading it.

https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=64128.msg

[Alien]

Thanks Jim for the information and links. Those are very useful.
 Question on drugs again -
Is the time is also fixed for taking a medicine like 4pm everyday or it can be flexible(it is a dumb question still for my clarity)?
Liver failure or weight loss-are those the side effects of drugs? Or those are long term effects of using these drugs?

I have read that if after some years automatically, virus will became immune to these drugs. So in how many years virus became immune to that type of drug ? And if it became immune then person shifts to the other kind of drugs. So how many such drugs are there in market?

I know there might not be any cure nearby, I wish we will find a cure sooner.
Marry Xmas Everyone.

[Wade]

Hi Alien,
 The times you take your meds is something you decide, some need to be taken with food, some without. For years I took mine at bed time and then I switched to Genvoya which needs to be taken with food so now I take it in the morning after breakfast.

For resistance, as long as you take your meds faithfully you should have none. I have taken the same regimens for many years before switching, that was because newer ones came along and reduced the pill burden.

You will be fine

Merry Christmas to you too !

Wade

[harleymc]

Thanks Jim for the information and links. Those are very useful.
 Question on drugs again -
Is the time is also fixed for taking a medicine like 4pm everyday or it can be flexible(it is a dumb question still for my clarity)?

If you have a daily medication then any time that day should be ok, but it is kinder on you if you keep approximately to a routine,  a couple of hours one way or the other will not matter.  However if you have a medication that must be taken with food, take it with food, If you have a medication that you need to be fasting for, then fast. - Don't mess around with food requirements.

Liver failure or weight loss-are those the side effects of drugs? Or those are long term effects of using these drugs?

I've been taking medications for over 25 years, I have no liver failure and I'm 7 kg heavier than when I started on medications.   Some (not all) medications may impact on the liver, but if your doctor puts you on medications that may impact the liver then your doctor will assess your liver health on a regular basis. If there is a problem you will be switched onto another regimen. Livers heal very quickly.

I have read that if after some years automatically, virus will became immune to these drugs. So in how many years virus became immune to that type of drug ?

You've read some incorrect web sites.  Modern combination therapies are designed so that if you are adherent to the regimen then you will not develop resistance.
 

And if it became immune then person shifts to the other kind of drugs. So how many such drugs are there in market?

That's a hypothetical that shouldn't ever arise.


I'm not sure what you expect to achieve by asking 'what if' questions, they don't help.

[Alien]

Thank you everyone for the help. I visited my doctor yesterday. He is calm person. Help me think through.
I have done my CD4 and viral load test. Waiting for result. It will come on Saturday.
I am just hoping my HIV is not old. Last year around 16 months ago, I tested myself. And that time I was negative.
I am hoping my HIV should not be more than a month or two old. I think I am in my sero conversion state right now or these might be advanced disease symptoms. Will know for sure after the test.
My symptoms include-
Cough for around 1 month (entire nov)
Condom break(that I think cause this) (mid Nov)
Mild fever 5-20 Dec and weight loss(around 2-3kg)
I tested myself on 12th Dec. And came out positive.
I started feeling better (physically) after 20th Dec. Fever is gone. Avoided seeing a doc for 5-6 days.
Yesterday and today - I again have mild fever.

Just sharing for everyone.
I feel weak maybe psychological impact, but internally I feel like that.
My Doc is saying he will start me on medicine from Saturday( once the test results are out).
I wish that I have not compromised my immune system too much. Prayers.

[Jim Allen]

Hi

So your only HIV results so far are from a self-test on the 12th of Dec? or am i reading that incorrectly because that means you haven't been diagnosed yet.

Look nothing you mentioned is HIV specific and you can't tell from CD4's or VL testing how long you have been infected or the cause of illness. End of the day the outcome is the same. Take your meds, treat whatever illnesses you picked up and live your life.

If you are HIV positive keep in mind that HIV negative people also get sick, so when you do get sick its part of life and you just like everybody else will simply need to see a doctor and treat it.

Take it easy

Jim

[Alien]

I again tested on 13th. Western blot . And result came out on 18th. Positive as well.
"Treat whatever illness you picked it up"

How frequently or are there increase probability of getting sick for us? If we are taking the meds properly.
And each time when we get sick, are we compromising our immune system more ?

[Jim Allen]

If we are taking the meds properly.
And each time when we get sick, are we compromising our immune system more ?

No. The immune system does not get weaker each time you get sick and it successfully fights a bug, rather the opposite as it learns and becomes more efficient. If it got weaker each time from birth Human's would have very short life span.

What I mean is the rest of the population gets sick and so will you. People get sick, shit happens, they fall and break legs, you too will get colds and flu's and seasonal bugs and all of lives bobo's, the same as everyone else.

HIV with treatment does not stop that, what it does do is suppress the virus so your immune system will no longer have to deal with a loosing battle and that will greatly reduce the risk you would have without treatment of having to deal with a number of exceptional OI's otherwise not seen in the general population.

See once you VL is suppressed the body will be able to focus on better things like keeping you healthy. Life expectancy has reached near normal with treatment and so you should expect to live a long and productive , healthy life.

[Alien]

Thank you Jim . You and this forum is biggest support that I have right now. I am really grateful to you all. And specially to you Jim.

[Jim Allen]

Look you are way overthinking things. Its take your pills, suppress the virus, body will heal and fight off gems like anyone else and you will live a normal life except you will take 10 seconds a day to pop a pill or two.

Anyhow good luck with the appointment this week and keep us posted on the results and the meds. Give this another read prehaps as its a good basic into to starting treatment. https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/starting-hiv-treatment

Jim

[Alien]

My result came today.
CD4-218 cells/ul
CD8- 1281 cells/ul
CD4/CD8 ratio : 0.17
Absolute CD4%- 12.82%

VL report not came yet.

My doctor is starting me on Telura - once after dinner.
Composition for Telura Tablet
Lamivudine (300mg), Tenofovir (300mg), Efavirenz (600mg)
I will start from tomorrow.

Quick questions -
Is CD4 -218 means my immune system is compromised too much ?

[Jim Allen]

Personally I would define "Too much" as dead or dying and you are neither. Statistically with lower CD4 counts you are at more risk of developing certain illnesses, however many people here started treatments with far lower CD4 than you including myself, we even have 1 person here who started with a CD4 count of "2".

Your counts are not perfect if you are asking that, however CD4 counts will vary between results, its not a measurement of health. If you retested today you would get a totally different number. That said an average HIV negative person has somewhere between 500 - 1200 copies at any given time.

Look HIV uncontrolled does both measured and unmeasured damage to the human body, but once you start the treatment your VL will be suppressed allowing your body to heal and focus on things,  normally you would see an increase in CD4 counts as time goes by.

The key here is the VL and than measuring the drop and finally continued suppression as you continue treatment.

Jim

When the CD4 cell count – the number of cells in a cubic millimeter or milliliter of blood – drops below 200, the immune system is considered to be “compromised” and you are at a higher risk of experiencing an AIDS-related opportunistic infection, like Pneumocystis pneumonia. In fact, immune system damage and certain HIV-related health problems can occur at even higher CD4 cell levels.

How do I know my treatment is working?
When HIV drug therapy is started—preferably with a powerful combination of drugs—the level of HIV should start to drop dramatically. This is where viral load testing comes in. During the first two months of therapy, an HIV-infected person’s viral load should drop a minimum of 90 percent. In other words, someone who starts treatment with a viral load count of 100,000 should drop to 10,000 or less within two months. Within 4 to 6 months of starting therapy, the viral load should have dropped a lot more, hopefully below the level of the viral load test’s sensitivity (“undetectable”). Sometimes undetectable means a count less than 200 or 400, but most tests used today can detect as few as 20.

[Alien]

Thanks Jim. I will try to be more positive from now on. I can see myself blickering here on this thread.

I will start my treatment and I am sure it will work out great.
I am already mentally stronger now, then I was 10 days ago.
And drugs in India are cheap. They are not burning hole in my pocket. It's super cheap. I can easily afford them.
Thank you so much for the support here. I will post my VL once I found out.

[Alien]

My VL is 340,000 copies/ml.

I started my medication since Saturday. Today is my 4th doze. Most of the things are okay. I just feel hangover feeling all the time.
From the time I woke up to the time I sleep, I just feel dizziness. Hope this will go away soon. 
No other major side-effect.
Any suggestion to make this dizziness go away ?

[Jim Allen]

Gad to hear all is well.

Give your body (mind) time to adjust. I'm not sure how you are taking this medication but bedtime dosing on a empty stomach and drink plenty of water.

If the dizziness remains after time and becomes an issue see your doctor.

Jim

[Expat1]

Hi the drugs you are taking are great.  They are a generic formula of ATRIPLA.  This drug does have the side effect of causing a 'hangover" like feeling.  It usually only lasts a few days.  IF you still have it after a few weeks, tell your doctor.

When I started Atripla, I took it at 10pm and I litterally had to go lie in bed afterwards because of the effects.  But this only lasted 3 nights.

I then took it for 11 months.

It brought my viral load down from 42000 to 167 in just 17 days.
Next test at 3 months was undetectable.

Your viral load is higher so it will probably take longer to go down to undetectable.

I have a friend who has HIV and is wife has insulin dependant daibetes. Both of them agree that the HIV is easier to to treat and live with.  Also they are very supportive of each other.

I read the HIV handbook.

https://hivbook.com/

[Alien]

Thanks Expat1 and Jim.
I still have the entire day hangover feeling after 6 day. But I am confident it will go away in some time.
Thank you all for your support. I am mentally stronger now. In a fighter attitude.

[Alien]

Till today afternoon I was going good. I felt stronger. And suddenly I am stuck with fever now(past 5-6 hours). And now I started feeling depressed again.

[Jim Allen]

Fevers happens to everyone from time to time, sign of everything and nothing. 
Keep an eye on it, and see a doctor if it continues. Plenty of water and rest in the meantime, can't go wrong with that and hope you feel better soon

Jim

[Tonny2]

       ojo.   Hello Alien

. I'm sorry for what you are going through the initial part of dealing with this battle. Nobody said that living with HIV was easy, especially during the begining of treatment, but guess what, it will get better with 5ime, trust me, after 23 years of fighting the bug, now, we, virus and I, learned to put up with each other,. You will learn how to live with the virus and will have, a long and productive live.

Now, for your fever, just try to treat it with an analgesic, keep an eye on it, I does not go away check with your doctor, if there is an infection, it will be treat it and, voila!!!,  You will feel like new....big hug wherever you are.

To win the battlea against HIV, we need to take our med/s as prescribed and have a positive attitude, it has worked for me during the last 23 years and, it will continue to work for another 23.

PS. I'm sorry for the typos I'm legally blind

[Alien]

Thank you Tonny and Jim.
It is been 1 month since diagnosis, toughest one month for me. Still the life continues.
I do have mild fever, maybe because meds and my body is fighting, but apart from that nothing major.
My dizziness is getting better now, from yesterday I do have some rashes, but they will also go away soon. Meds must be adjusting.
In this past month I learnt a lot, and there are many more things to learn, I will get there with time.
The biggest fear for contacting HIV was because of Stigma and improper education. I thought that life is ended once I contacted this and I will going to die a painful death. But Thank you so much for this group and online articles, they have given me right perspective.

This statement keeps me positive. Sharing for you all.

“A positive diagnosis is not a death sentence, it’s a punctuation mark in the long sentence that it life. It makes you reassess your decisions; it’s a reminder of your own mortality. We’re all vulnerable; we all suffer; unfortunately we’re all going to die.”
Let me know how was your experience after 1 month of your diagnosis.

[Jim Allen]

Well glad you are doing okay. You are only 1 month in and digesting this can make your head spin at first, it takes time to settle in and for some sooner than others. Its not a race 

Anyhow if you still feel ill do see a doctor, the meds should not be causing fever, a fever is more an indication of infection not medication. So do check and treat whatever is making you ill.

Let me know how was your experience after 1 month of your diagnosis.

Personally not sure my first month is relevant to you, we all handle things differently and to be honest the world of HIV has changed very much since than. The approach on treatment and progression is totally different. Maybe some of the newer diagnosed people may add more recent experiences.

I do know this, HIV has never stopped me personally from living my life. 

Jim 

[Alien]

Hi all, Currently I am on treatment and doing fine.

Everyday my mind keep telling me I am a HIV positive. I try not to think about it but can not help it and keep hearing it everyday.
This disturbance cause me very stressful and I am having trouble living a ‘normal’ life.
How should I manager it? How to accept the diagnosis?

[Tonny2]

          ojo       hello my friend, yes you are hiv positive, nobody will change that, you will learn to live with it, just give it some time, some people learn to live with it sooner than others, but, eventually, if you want to live a happier life, you will realize that life goes on, just be patient and try to keep busy, keep doing what you use to do before your diagnosis, you will be able to live a normal life by just taking a vitamin a day, even you will become a daddy if you want...i hope that you start to realize that we can't turn back time and turn the page, and start learning too co-exist with something that will be with you for a while...best of luck...hugs                            vvvvvvvvvvojo

ps i know you will do it, life is to precious to live with anxiety

[underwoodfrank]

Hey alien plz message me i want to talk  to you

[Jim Allen]

Hi Frank.

Welcome to the forum, at the moment nobody can message you yet.

As a new member it's normally expected to open an introduction thread first so you introduce yourself to the members, tell us how you're getting on, what treatment you are on and how your results are going ect ect before private message can be sent

Prehaps you can open one in the "I just tested positive" section to do so.

Take care.

Jim

[Alien]

Thanks Jim.. Underwood Frank I will be happy to help you. Please open a new thread. We can then start private messages..

[Alien]

Hii Everyone, thank you so much for all the support. I am doing fine now. I keep my mind busy with my work and studies and that is doing the trick for me. I started gaining the positive attitude now. Thank you so much everyone, it won't be possible without your help.

[Expat1]

Kudos for hanging in there... Take care!
Live long and prosper.

[Alien]

Just read today about this new drug for developing countries approved by FDA for Mylan.
dolutegravir, emtricitabine, and tenofovir alafenamide tablets, 50 mg/200 mg/25 mg.
It's a combination of Descovy and Tivicay.
Right now the first line treatment in India is still atripla(generic variant). If this get launched in India - I would have one more variant to switch to. And hopefully it will have lesser side effect then TDf and efavirenz. Waiting for the new tablet(at least smaller in size)

 https://www.pharmpro.com/news/2018/02/mylan-receives-tentative-approval-combination-hiv-treatment

[willam5]

Hi, I'm Kenyan and tested positive recently. I've been put on this regimen and I have had no side effects. I hope you'll be able to get on it.

[Tonny2]

          ojo     hello william5, welcome to the forum. how about if you start a new thread and let;s know more about you, would you mind?...good luck with your treatment...hugs                                                                   ojo

[Alien]

Hi I know my this question might be silly- but I would still like to know your opinion - around 2 months ago.
After I started medication 15 days after I visited my family.
My nephew is 18 month old, I feed him sometimes with spoon. I can't recall any saliva contact as such - but I kissed him sometime on cheeks. I know HIV is not Transmitted like that but he is been sick from past 10 days and have fever. The fever is going on and off and it goes after taking medication. He have lost 1.5 kg weight. I am just worried if I somehow infected him. I am just scared thinking about that. Please let me know your thoughts- what should I do. I haven't told my family about my dx. What are some other symptoms that I can keep check off ?

[Expat1]

You did not give him HIV. 

That said, any infant who loses 1.5kg in a short period of time needs to see a doctor.  You wont get him the help he needs  here, go to a clinic or Emergency Room.

[Alien]

Just got my results back, after 6 months of treatment on Telura TLE600.

VL- UD (<20)
CD4- 550
CD4% -25 %

Other tests are also good. Feeling a bit relaxed now.
Thank you everyone for your support. Initial days are scary but with time things are going fine.
I will be shifting to TLE400 now.
To everyone, who are newly diagnosed hold on and take a deep breath. Things will fall in place.

[LeftyBowler300]

Awesome news man congrats 

[Daniel2012]

Hi alien
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis and what youve been through. Can relate to you as m also from india and the initial days after getting diagnosed was a nightmare with hardly any reliable sources of information and help in our country. Glad to hear that you are better now and on meds.

Hetero Heahthcare has recently launched dolutegravir (descovy) and Tafero- EM (descovy) and the combo is available for around rs.4k for a months course. My doc has put me on this regimen since March and I feel perfectly fine with thankfully no side effects. Please discuss these relatively new meds with your doc.

I totally agree with you regarding social stigma in our country as this is due lack of awareness and information dissemination. Recently read about some poz kids not being able to rent a place for their cafe in Kolkata as no one was willing to have them as tenants. But things are changing as some kind gentleman offered the kids his garage and some NGO is sponsoring them.

Meanwhile, keep the faith, take ur meds regularly and stay healthy, dont think too much and I predict that we will be debating about whether the congress or the BJP should form the Government in 2049..:-) :-)

[OREGONISTANBUL]

Dear Alien,

I so wanted to kill myself. I am just a shame for my family and society. I don't have courage to tell anyone.
I just have a question for you all - Is living worth with this disease ? Dying everyday with some infection or side effect of medicines ? Or suicide is better than that ?

51 yo here, diagnosed 2 years ago and on ART since then. To be realistic, we are not dying everyday with some infection, on the contrary, living with HIV somehow made me a-much-more-caring person for my life and feeling healthier.

What you should do is to stick to your treatment.

You are not a shame for your family and you don't have to share anything with anyone as long as you do not wish to. I do understand your concerns for your society because i am participating from a conservative country (Turkey), so stigma might be a big problem here too.

But as a person living with HIV, i can say that nothing much changed in my life except taking one pill each day and monitor your lab results with your expert every 3 months. (after having an undetectable viral load)

How normal do you think your life is? Apart from treatment, do you Go for hiking or cold places ?

To give you an idea, i am into cycling and riding 150 km per week both in winter and summer time.

So to sum up HIV "was" just an unpleasant surprise to me when diagnosed, and "living with it" now means nothing more...

By the way, you have great results.

Best Regards,

OREGON