Feb 23rd a SAD Day My li brother HIV +

[brokensister]

I got news my brother found out it is HIV positive, this is a very hard thing for me to cope with.. He is my only brother we have not had the best relationship, but he is my only brother and I am gonna be there for him no matter what.. What do I do for him, what do i do with him. How do I make him feel comfortable, how can I help him.  He is so hurt in and so much pain and I am not able to do anything to help him physically. 

He does not know where he got it from but he has has 100s of partners so it is no telling and how does he notify people about this.. I know he is terrified as we all are but we have to stay positive for him and for ourselves.. Just help me understand this horrible thing, and how we can help him, also with his medicine cause as of now he has no insurance at all.

Broken sister : (

[1228GUY]

I got news my brother found out it is HIV positive, this is a very hard thing for me to cope with.. He is my only brother we have not had the best relationship, but he is my only brother and I am gonna be there for him no matter what.. What do I do for him, what do i do with him. How do I make him feel comfortable, how can I help him.  He is so hurt in and so much pain and I am not able to do anything to help him physically. 

He does not know where he got it from but he has has 100s of partners so it is no telling and how does he notify people about this.. I know he is terrified as we all are but we have to stay positive for him and for ourselves.. Just help me understand this horrible thing, and how we can help him, also with his medicine cause as of now he has no insurance at all.

Broken sister : (

Hi Broken Sister,

I'm so sorry to hear about the news of your Brother.  Be Completely Aware It's Not A Death Sentence!  You will hear this again and again and it may not sink into your head but eventually it will.  I've have just known I'm HIV + since 12.28.09 and look, I'm telling you it will be ok if you let it be ok.

Tell us where you are from and maybe some people here can point you in the right direction.  Where to go and whom to talk to.  I have no insurance but have no trouble with my meds.  I've enrolled into Ryan White Care which provides Medical Care and A.D.A.P (Aids Drugs Assistance Program) and that provides for Meds.  I've been on meds for a week but got enrolled in ADAP as soon as I found out about my diagnosis.

Just be a sister to him.  Be a friend.  Nothing you can say or do will change the fact for him that he now has this little friend called HIV.  Some people are able to deal with it better than others, that goes without saying.  What you can do for him is let him know that you are standing right beside him through this process.  That as long as you are around, he doesnt have to worry about going through this alone.  Be an active participant in his health care.  Educate yourself about HIV/AIDS so you can ask him questions when the time comes for him to see doctors which would be soon since he just found out.

Your brother will have to make peace with not trying to know where he got it from, but make peace that he now carries this.  In terms of notifying different people whom he has had sexual relationship where there was a potential risk for transmission of the virus, he would notify them or I'm sure he can find an Organization that counsels and helps HIV people, and they have notification programs.  There are systems set in place if he doesnt want to notify so these people get notified by a 3rd party and are advised to get tested.  Right now, he needs to take care of himself and you can just be a sister to him and a friend.  Respect when he doesnt want to talk and embrace the times he does.  It seems like you are very willing to establish a new relationship with him and be there for him.  In time due, he will get through this.  I hope it's helped you a bit


Blessings!

[Sebastian1969]

brokensister,
Sorry to hear about your brother.  Like 1228guy said, it is not a death sentence, although it can be, my partner has been positive for over 15 years now.  Educate yourself as much as you can, read throught the postings on here, it'll help. 
Not sure where you are located, but there is help out there for people who are underinsured or tith no insurance.
Good luck to you and your brother.

[emeraldize]

Hey Thoughtful Sister...

There's a bundle of information available on this site alone. So you can get many of your questions answered by reading the information at the top info bar titled ALL ABOUT HIV and TREATMENT.

He's going to benefit greatly from having a kind sibling who wants to be educated and supportive. My older sister was the first family member to know and she was fantastic from Day One to present.

Em

[anniebc]

Hi Sister

Reaction to an HIV result is diffferent for everyone, but over time your brother will find a way of coping with the virus that suits him and it might be quite differnt from how others deal with it.

No one here will ever tell you it's easy, and it's ok for you and your brother get stressed and scared but don't let it take over your's or his life, stress is natural it can actually help some of us get through certain situations but excessive stress can cause him physical symptoms and can damage his immune system further, just try and help him find ways to manage any stress he may be feeling, teach him if you can to relax and listen to his body.

Along with HIV comes anxiety and one way of tackling this is through information. gaining confidence in himself and making informed decisions about his future.

Support is very important and he can get this from a qualified ID doctor , family and friend that he can trust and there are many support organizations out there...just make sure whoever he discuss's this with is sympathetic, supporting and non judgmental about his HIV status.

Most important of all you have to remember that being HIV+ does not stop him from being the person he was  before his diagnosis.

He is lucky he has a sister who cares enough to understand and support him, you will be surprised how much this will help him through his initial diagnosis.

Take care
Jan