Sick with worry

[Worried Male UK]

I am very worried about my exposure so i am hoping you can help.

8 weeks ago I stupidly performed and received unprotected oral sex with another man. It lasted maybe 10 mins and there was no ejaculation by either of us.

6 weeks ago I performed unprotected oral sex on a woman for maybe an hour or so on and off whilst using a vibrator on her; I also received a blow job off her.

My neck now goes bright red like sunburn in the evenings or when I think about how stupid I have been.
In the last couple of days the underside of my forearms keep coming out in a rash, this lasts maybe 10 - 15 minutes then goes again but returns, it’s more of a blotchy rash like prickly heat but I have never had this before. Just hoping it’s caused by the severe anxiety I’m under.

Over the last week I have got some small blister like spots on my legs, arms and 2 on my stomach. The area itches until I scratch and then the spot/tiny blister appears and the itching stops all in all I have about five on one leg spread about and three on one forearm spread about.

I have also had a cold this week although so have a lot of other people I know I had a mild sore throat 2 weeks leading up to the cold which consisted of bunged up nose swollen gland in neck and a bit of chesty cough. I have continuously monitored my temperature and it is always around 36.7
I contacted the guy and he says he is screened  every 3 – 4 months and his last check was a couple of weeks before my risky exposure and he hasn't picked anything up.
As others have said the information on the internet says I could be at risk but the information is so conflicting I don't know what to think. I can't concentrate at work or at home and I feel like I am losing my mind with worry, i have also lost my appetite really hungry but when i start to eat i lose my appetite, don't know if this is another symptom of HIV or anxiety.

I went to the GUM clinic yesterday and had the normal swabs taken, but they wouldn't do the blood tests as they said 6 weeks wouldn't show anything up and to come back in another 6 weeks. I tried to talk to the doctor about my risk but the doctor just said its a risk as body fluids have been exchanged and it all depends on the other person, now i don't know whether this is high risk or not please help me to try and get things in perspective if that's possible

[Ann]

WM,

You're worrying unnecessarily. The only proven risks for hiv infection are unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

Here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[Worried Male UK]

Hi ann
Thanks for your reply. However I am still concerned the doctor was talking as if I had hiv and the the blood test I have to take in six weeks was a mere formality. And im still concerned about the symptoms I mentioned in my first post. Reading the net most sites still say oral is a route for transmission why?

[Andy Velez]

We're not responsible for what other websites are putting out. Nor for what you perceived as that reaction from your doctor.

Your saliva acts as a very effective natural barrier against the transmission of HIV. And of receiving oral, which is one of the most common of sexual activties, there has yet to be a single case of transmission proven in the entire history of the epidemic. You are not going to make history by becoming the first.

I certainly expect you to test negative. None of your symptoms are in anyway HIV specific. Which is not surprising because I don't see you as having been at risk.

[Worried Male UK]

Thanks for the replies, I was just wandering if a standard hiv test taken at a gum clinic would be conclusive after eight weeks, as I dont think I can last the full three months

[Ann]

Worried,

You can test over these incidents at any time and the result will be conclusive. You were not at risk, as we have already told you.

When there has been an actual risk such as unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse (you have NOT had an actual risk), then only a three month test is conclusive.

Ann