User

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
April 19, 2024, 07:01:26 pm

Login with username, password and session length


Forums Index

Stats

Members
  • Total Members: 37644
  • Latest: Aman08
Stats
  • Total Posts: 773220
  • Total Topics: 66338
  • Online Today: 716
  • Online Ever: 5484
  • (June 18, 2021, 11:15:29 pm)
Users Online
Users: 3
Guests: 614
Total: 617

Search

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.
« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: I am lonely and sad  (Read 13022 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline worried100

  • Member
  • Posts: 39
I am lonely and sad
« on: September 03, 2016, 02:35:03 am »
So I was diagnosed  positive around 6 years now. I met someone online and thought everything was fine, we had our ups and downs but at least I had someone.

It turns out that the spark was never there for him and he stayed with me in the hope that it would grow and obviously it hasn't. He wants me out of his house and my relationship is over. Looking back the warning signs were there but I choose to ignore them, I was just happy to have found someone.

I am 40 years old soon with no children, I'm trying to find HIV+ friends to go out with and enjoy myself with and have asked on various websites but no-one is interested. I live in the UK and just want to be happy.

Are there any women out there who can relate?
Much love
worried.xx
Logged

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,397
Re: I am lonely and sad
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2016, 10:24:29 pm »
May I call you Ried? Reads more optimistically than Worried.

I think whether female or male, positive or negative, none of us wants to be alone.

Why do you think positive women friends are the key to a good time? While I agree it's nice to have a couple of people who can understand it firsthand, much about living with HIV is just the living part.

Get counseling if you can, if you find you need it. Find friends no matter what their health status or sex. And perhaps you would benefit greatly by finding a cause that draws you in or a person who is worse off than you and needs help. Perhaps it would be an agency or organization in great need of a volunteer like you. The more you can get someone else on your radar, the less lonely you will be  and the sadness will be lessened by contrast, by engagement, by looking outward.

Warm regards
Em
Logged

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,786
Re: I am lonely and sad
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2016, 06:17:34 am »
Hello,
I agree with Em.  Much of this is learning to live with HIV, read "live."  Just because you have "someone" does not guarantee a good life, as you are experiencing.  Relationships are really no different emotions wise, whether someone is HIV+ or HIV-.  Just know that you are a whole person whether you are in a relationship or not.

With that in mind, you also don't have to settle for just anybody because of your status either.  We are still entitled to happiness, and if you believe that involves being in a relationship, than don't settle for just anyone.  Find yourself, your cor values, and go from there.

In the meantime, what Em has suggested as far as volunteering is a great idea.  I did it for quite a while and sometimes still do.  I tested HIV+ almost 30 years ago and volunteering is a great way to get out of yourself and build your self esteem.  Do you have a particular interest or group of people you would love to help?  Try that.

Meanwhile, we're here.  I hope to hear more from you!

Betty
Logged
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Condom and Lube Info https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/safer-sex
Please check out our lessons on PEP and PrEP. https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/pep-prep

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/treatmentasprevention-tasp

Offline PittGurl

  • Member
  • Posts: 351
Re: I am lonely and sad
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2016, 11:13:53 pm »
Wondering how you are?
Logged
Infected ~5/16/15-7/19/15
8-2-15    CD4=286; VL=43800; 15% WB Pos Test Confirmed (waiting for genotype to start Triumeq)
9-4-15    Started Triumeq thanks to the people on board encouraging me :)
9-21-15    CD4=570; VL 26; 30% 16 days on Triumeq….
10-27-15   CD4=522; VL=UNDETECTABLE!!!; 29%    7 wks, 4 days on Triumeq
1-28-16    CD4=479; VL=UD; 31% almost 5 mo on Triumeq
4-27-16    CD4=580; VL=UD; 32%
7-28-16    CD4=991; VL=UD; 38% almost 1 year on Triumeq
8-3-16    ONE YEAR DX
10-27-16    CD4=765; VL=UD; 39%
3-8-17   CD4=709; VL=27; 39%
7-13-17   CD4=942; VL=UD; 41%
10/12/17   CD4=626; VL=UD; 39%
1/21/18    CD4=650; VL=UD; 40%
4/26/18   CD4=893; VL=UD; 39%
8/9/18   CD4=858; VL=UD; 41%
12/27/18   CD4=841; VL=UD; 41%
4/24/19   CD4=751; VL=UD; 39%
8/27/19   CD4=719; VL=UD; 36%
10/31/19   CD4=746; VL=UD; 37%

Offline Renee

  • Member
  • Posts: 11
Re: I am lonely and sad
« Reply #4 on: April 05, 2017, 01:30:29 pm »
Hello Worried100,

I am in the US, if I were in the UK, we could hang out. We can email each other if you like.

I have been positive for 28 years and it is a journey.  I agree with the others that you can be in an HIV- relationship and still there are ups and downs, or two people meet and it doesn't work out.

I have met gentleman over the years and they were not HIV+, they accepted me and it did not work out because I learned one drank too much, and another was older than me but was so insecurity and like a teen boy.  I ended both.  The "teen boy" relationship was for 5 years. I saw signs that we probably would not be getting married and we stopped dating then started up again. I think due to loneliness on both parts. I am glad it is over though. Too much emotional drama.

But, I understand, totally, your feeling of wanting to be in a relationship with someone.  There is some anxiety on my part due to my situation. You have to tell "the story" per say.  But, I am trying to just keep it moving until...

-Renee
Logged

Offline Charlykappel

  • New Member
  • Posts: 1
Re: I am lonely and sad
« Reply #5 on: May 07, 2017, 07:22:41 pm »
Hi worried!
I got the same experience. I am an  older one, for 30 yearsnow positive and I tried very hard to find someone. I failed! It is really impossible to come in touch. Therefor I can understand your feelings very good. We hiv+ we must stay alone! With that we have to fight.

Regards + keep going
Logged

Offline krismel

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: I am lonely and sad
« Reply #6 on: February 21, 2019, 07:06:37 pm »
Just wondering how you are doing?
I like in the us, but we could be friend. your story is similar to one
please let me know
Continue to take care
k.
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »
 

Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2024 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.