New HIV+ and so down, lonely

[alex16178alex]

Hi, I discovered that I'm HIV+ last March 24th, 2015
Sadly i don't have anyone to talk to
I live in a country in the middle east where it is a shame to have HIV.
1st thing came to my mind is to commit suicide, but after i thought i found that i have to fix my relationship with my family and leave some good memories to them, i'm doing my best to do this..

but i really feel things are heavy specially i don't know if they keep the privacy in that health organization or someone will pass this information to my family..
i'd rather to die than anyone knows about my status, i heard about people lost their jobs, families, and their life...

I'm trying to be brave but it's too much for me, i don't have a clear mind to think of what next, and i need to talk, i need someone to hug me and say it's OK
I'm isolating myself from everyone, and getting into my shell...
I really don't know what i should do, but i'm trying to hold myself hardly of doing
something stupid

Sorry for the long post, but i felt i'm going to explode !

[Tonny2]

Hi, I discovered that I'm HIV+ last March 24th, 2015
Sadly i don't have anyone to talk to
I live in a country in the middle east where it is a shame to have HIV.
1st thing came to my mind is to commit suicide, but after i thought i found that i have to fix my relationship with my family and leave some good memories to them, i'm doing my best to do this..

but i really feel things are heavy specially i don't know if they keep the privacy in that health organization or someone will pass this information to my family..
i'd rather to die than anyone knows about my status, i heard about people lost their jobs, families, and their life...

I'm trying to be brave but it's too much for me, i don't have a clear mind to think of what next, and i need to talk, i need someone to hug me and say it's OK
I'm isolating myself from everyone, and getting into my shell...
I really don't know what i should do, but i'm trying to hold myself hardly of doing
something stupid

Sorry for the long post, but i felt i'm going to explode !

             ojo       Hello Alex...Welcome and you are not alone anymore, here goes a big hug on your way  =)...I know how difficult is to get a dx of hiv, I supposed you got tested, so, now, what is next, is to treat yourself...I know that there is stigma in a lot of countries, but, you have to take care of yourself, don't worry about the rest of the people...hopefully, the health care system where you live, has some privacy laws,, you will not have an stcker on your forehead saying "I'm positive"...please relax, digest the bad news, you don't hsve to tell anyone...here,, in this forum, you will find lots of people who are experincing the same emotions you are feeling now, and you will get support and information..again, you are not alone anymore, you can count on us...best of luck, keep us posted and hugs               ojo

[realitycheck]

Hey Alex,

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis, It's OK you are not alone - I got the same news myself two months ago. you are bound to be upset during the initial shock. But it will get better. Since I have seen a doctor and started medication I have felt much better and calmed down a lot... just take your time, relax and try to remember that you are still you. 

[Denvaux]

Alex, an HIV+ diagnosis is hard to take for anyone, and pretty much everyone reacts differently to it. Nine years ago my mind-set was very similar to yours; thoughts of suicide were never far away. I know it's a very dark place to be- that initial diagnosis period. However, if I have learned anything regarding those initial days, it is that my thinking was the real disease and unknown then, I needed to change it. There is a wealth of information and association here and on other forums that WILL enlighten you and eventually change your thinking to a realistic and positive state of mind. I see my being HIV+ as merely my having a new skin; new rules and behaviours, and that new has become the norm.  Read on the Living with HIV forum and you will find many many people that have been HIV+ for numerous years, 10, 20 even 30 years, and they are still soldiering on in life...  so put those thoughts of suicide to bed!

[Denvaux]

Another site that you may find of educational help is this one:
http://www.thebody.com     It was very useful for me.

[Saintfranciscus]

Hey, can I join, we're in the same situation. Got the phonecall I dreaded for years on February 5... Well, here we are. Five in this forum, right? Cool.

We are going to be okay and we will make this work! *trying to energise positively*

How does that sound? Let's try to convince eachother, seems like half way to a plan which usually means half way to dealing with what's in front of us.

[mecch]

Hi, I discovered that I'm HIV+ last March 24th, 2015
Sadly i don't have anyone to talk to
I live in a country in the middle east where it is a shame to have HIV.
1st thing came to my mind is to commit suicide, but after i thought i found that i have to fix my relationship with my family and leave some good memories to them, I'm doing my best to do this..

but i really feel things are heavy specially i don't know if they keep the privacy in that health organization or someone will pass this information to my family..
I'd rather to die than anyone knows about my status, i heard about people lost their jobs, families, and their life...

I'm trying to be brave but it's too much for me, i don't have a clear mind to think of what next, and i need to talk, i need someone to hug me and say it's OK
I'm isolating myself from everyone, and getting into my shell...
I really don't know what i should do, but I'm trying to hold myself hardly of doing
something stupid

Sorry for the long post, but i felt i'm going to explode !

I have a few things to say to you from Switzerland and really from the USA.  Don't kill yourself.  Decide to love yourself and to have a bigger consciousness, and less judgment, than your culture has, about certain things. NO doubt you have a beautiful culture but some things anti-human and anti-equality and civil rights.   You are a beautiful creation, human --- do not let some particular culture persuade you otherwise.

I am over 50. I grew up in the suburbs of NY and then lived in NY many years. When I was realising I was gay it was the 60s and 70s and being gay was sort of a scandal, sin, shame, mystery, taboo. 

But not always. I could see my suburban culture wasn't all the experience in the world. Like in NYC.  One summer in the late 60s maybe early 70s I was with my family in Provincetown Cape Cod which was already a destination for hippies and LGBTQ before we used that word!  I could see joy and happiness even if some people thought they (including i was beginning to understand - me) were freaks. 

Well now its 2015 and the USA is very rapidly approaching civil rights for lesbians and gays -- at least 50% of the culture has changed its attitude and morality and beliefs.

When I was young I worked in NYC in the 80s and I had friends and lovers how had HIV and AIDs and died. I had a bf kill himself, he was dying.   

I saw so much scorn and judgment and fear and hatred applied to HIV+ people but in my small world not many people felt that way, thought that way.

Our consciousness had already changed!

A lot of people put years of effort and passion into changing the medical, legal and social perception and experience and options and protection of/for HIV+ people. Now its not necessarily a shame or scandal or handicap in many places and communities in the USA to be HIV+. There are legal protections for work, special funds for treatment, etc. 

But of course, not all culture has caught up.

You have to realize that your culture is stuck in rigid thinking but YOU must not be a victim to it.

REJECT THAT!

The only way to thrive is to liberate your mind from the cultural restraints.

You need to protect yourself shrewdly from ANY and all possible discrimination for your HIV+ status, in your country, in your family, but you MUST immediately liberate your mind and see that possible repression as their small-mindedness. 

I know HIV+ people in Saudi Arabia, gay to boot, and it is possible, they carved out a space where it is ok to be who they are.   

You do NOT have to change your culture, just your own mentality.  The Saudi's I know have good medical care and protect themselves from discrimination as best as possible. 

Just realize "they" can "throw stones" and put "scarlet letters" but they cannot have your mind and self respect.

 

[zettainaoru]

Same here in indonesia. The stigma is awfull.

And I always say this to those who choose to hide it from their family.

If you love your family, Get yourself treated. If its not to late you can live a healthy live without no one know you are sick.
Even for many many many years, until you get old.

But without treatment, you will get oportunistic infection and eventually people will know you have aids.

If you dont want anyone know you are HIV, get on treatment is the best way.

[TheNormalLife]

That makes six, or is it seven of us? Not really... We are thousands.

Beautiful words from everybody here at the forum.

1. Don't hurt yourself.
2. Read, educate yourself right now about your diagnosis and let the information amaze you about the long-prosper life you have ahead (not all the info out there is updated; most of the scary stuff was written a few years ago, in this decease, a lot of great things happen in a five-year time lapse).
3. Get medical attention immediately.
4. Come here and scream all that you want. Many times it is not a matter of what people will tell you, but YOU telling others, anyone. We are a bunch of dear strangers. Do not isolate yourself; you need to build with the help of others a net of knowledge, support, attention and distraction. You need to keep those loving and to-be-loved skills sharp.

Yes, you are brave, very, but yet you have no idea how strong you are. It will make you proud.

Life hasn't changed to worse; there are just some new rules that you have to adapt to.

Here's a hug to you my friend...

Ray.

[hayssam]

hey am also new in the middle east
wich country u are in?
am from lebanon

[alex16178alex]

Dear All,
Tonny2, realitycheck, Saintfranciscus, mecch, and TheNormalLife
Really appreciate your support and your care, I'm so touched with your words, hugs, feelings

zettainaoru thank you for the advice
Denvaux, thanks for the link
Hayssam, I'm from Egypt, good luck for you bro

For all of you, Thank you for dropping me such beautiful words

Yes, I'm still new to this, and trying to read about it day and night, trying to find my path and the new rules which i have to follow...

I'm not sure about the next step, as i'm still waiting my test results to know if i have to start the medication or not yet..

What i'm really scared of is the privacy here in my country, I understand that there is no sticker on my face telling that i'm HIV+ but i really hope that the health ministry has the ability to keep this between the records, which I don't trust it at all for many reasons

Last a few days, I started to search the possibility to refugee in any other country and what i understood is there is a great chance in Canada, so i will try my luck in a few months, so that i can have a new start, a new life
Wish me a good luck please as i need it...

I know there is many that i have to learn and to understand about being HIV+ and this what i'm trying to do right now

Please keep on writing to me on this thread, as I'm still trying to understand this site
Have a good day, warm hugs from Egypt

[realitycheck]

Alex, good to hear from you again. its good you saw a doctor, thats definitely the most important thing right now. so you plan to try to move to Canada, I too enjoy moving around, I was abroad when I found out and decided to return home to absorb the shock.. but I'm thinking the same as you, i will go to another country and make a fresh start, when my health is on track and the time is right, theres still so much more we can do with our lives.... in the meantime relax, you are not alone out there.. we can all get through this thing together, it just means a few changes...

[alex16178alex]

Hi again,
in fact the system here is quite different than other countries, according to what i read and understood.

The point is we have only 2 organizations handling the HIV issues..

1st one is a non profit organization, this is the one which i went to, they are responsible to make the initial test, i mean the quick one, and give some advises.
if they found you are positive, like me, they take another blood sample and send it to the 2nd one which is the health ministry itself, the results takes 3 weeks to a month, which means in my case it's expected from 4/17 to 4/24

according to the results they will determine if i need to start my medication or not yet

My big question now, which i keep thing of is; if i have to take this step and register in the health ministry hospital, will they ask for my real name, address or no, also if so, will they are able to keep this information private or it could be released to anyone...

I can't even guarantee if they said there is a protocol to keep the privacy, in a country as mine, anything could happen, no value for the people and based on the media nowadays, i see many people talking badly about homosexuals, HIV's, atheists, and anything that they don't accept...

that's why i'm trying to check the possibility of moving, and trying to save some money for this purpose...

Tell me how is your health situation so far?
I'm still reading in the tab which called lessons under treatment...
My head is going to explode but i'm trying to adjust my time so i read on daily bases beside my work and my family

My other worries of being here in Egypt is the doctors themselves, many sites mentioned that any HIV+ must find a good doctor to deal with and the doctor should be dealed with many cases, where here in egy the known number is not that much, total around 3000 persons all over the country, which for sure not realistic number
wondering if the doctors have a good knowledge to give a good treatment or as usual they will depend on 2 types of tablets and that's it...

seems i have a long way to find my way but i will keep you posted
thanks for your reply
hugs

[realitycheck]

Hi alex, I'm relatively new to all this and i can't really answer all of your questions, but since you asked here is my situation so far. In my case i was diagnosed abroad, so on return to my country (UK) another confirmatory test was taken, along with a number of vials of blood for the various tests they needed to perform. It took two weeks to confirm the positive and receive the various test results, not too different to your situation right?

It was found that my numbers were at the level where it was recommended to start treatment, so I started and so far so good - my viral load was way down after just a few weeks.

try to hang in there and relax, we are all in this one together, before you know it you will have your results back and you can take the next step. good luck.

[alex16178alex]

Tanks reality for answering me back

i just went again to that organization to ask if they really need my ID when i have to register in the health ministry program
the answer was YES it is required if i need to start the treatment...

telling you the truth, this is scared me and made me so down

i know Egypt very well, not sure about this part, but what will make it different than other parts!!!

it might be the worst end screwing my whole life, reputation and destroying my family...

i have only below options now:

1- waiting the test results and if i have to start treatment, that will be the end
2- if i still have sometime before starting the treatment, i will try to move to another country like Canada within next a few months if failed will keep living here till i have to start my treatment and again will reach to the same end

sorry for telling this, but i have no other options, can't put my family in a shame because of me, and can't made them suffer for my mistakes

for last couple of weeks, most of talk-shows in our media was talking about how nasty it is to have homosexuals and atheists and both of them leads the country to fall in HIV (any nonsense but people are listening)

This gives me a hint which kind of treatment they are going to do for people who lives with HIV later on, at least for those who are in their records !!

initially they used to lock them in specific hospitals and prisons them, and it could be repeated again with this kind of speech
who will know about them or hear about them at the end!!!

why I'm writing this?
Maybe it is not the exact scenario which will happen but maybe yes

So i hope someone could keep an eye on our country for this subject and keep checking the situation here for people lives with HIV and make sure the government will treat them in a better way...

for whoever read this, sorry for being that negative but it's a cruel life at the end
Counting down the days to know my results so i can decide what next

[realitycheck]

no problem, you surely know the situation in Egypt much better than me, just hang in there till you get your results, perhaps your details will be confidential, if it turns out no and you really think that you are in danger there you could use another countries services and see a doctor there, there are definitely countries out there who will be able to supply you with your meds for cheap enough whatever happens.

Hang in there man,  I know its tough but don't obsess over the worst case scenario. you are doing the right thing 100%.

[Tonny2]

          ojo       Hello Alex, I'm sorry for your dilema, I guess, you have to wait and see...you should ask your doctors all these questions, maybe, he can help you, but the most important thing for you, is to confirm your HIV dx, and see how is your immune system, if you need meds and the goverment will provide them for you...if you are feeling threaten,maybe it will be a good idea to move, but, I hope, and there is some human dignityin your doctor, to help you deal with your situation....wishing you the best and crossing my fingers for you....hugs           ojo

[hayssam]

My friend told me that Egypt is the the worst country for people living with HIV
he contracted this virus in 1975 in Paris, diagnosed in 1981 with only 5 CD4 count and still alive in Beirut right now!
When he visited Cairo few years ago with a united nation group , there was too much stigma around doctors who treat HIV patients! it is a God punishment according to Egyptian doctors!
how old are u? i really understand why u feel lonely because of fear and stigma

[Joe K]

My friend told me that Egypt is the the worst country for people living with HIV
he contracted this virus in 1975 in Paris, diagnosed in 1981 with only 5 CD4 count and still alive in Beirut right now!
When he visited Cairo few years ago with a united nation group , there was too much stigma around doctors who treat HIV patients! it is a God punishment according to Egyptian doctors!
how old are u? i really understand why u feel lonely because of fear and stigma

Hayssam,

Please be careful when you post about the experience of others.  The first HIV test (Elisa) was first made available in 1985, so your friend could not have been confirmed HIV positive in 1981, as a test for HIV was not yet developed.  There were also no CD4 or viral load tests available in 1981, so he was most probably guessing as to his CD4 count.

It's great that you are offering support, but please do so in a fashion that does not misrepresent the facts regarding HIV and testing.

Joe

[mecch]

What kind of love is a family's love if its cancelled because of HIV.
I know it happens around the world. But its not right. And HIV+ who are rejected by society and family do not owe those people who reject and persecute ANYTHING. Nothing.  With that action, they don't deserve anything that requires an HIV+ person to hurt himself.  My opinion. 
And its general. Not restricted to HIV.  Contingent love and human rights are anything but love and human rights.

[so2014]

alex16178alex,

I don't know what to say but Hugs from the USA.

-Sean

[alex16178alex]

Hayssam, I'm 37 years old, single, and yes; it is a God punishment according to most of the Egyptians not only doctors, I guess we still lives in the very early stage of discovering HIV ! but hopefully i could take care of myself for coming period and don't need their help now

Joe K, thnx for the corrections

Sean, thnx i really needed that hug

Mecch, it's just too heavy for my family to handle, but i know that they will keep loving me somehow

on the other side, i stopped drinking alcohol since i tested +, but still smoking
is it a highly recommended to quite smoking ?
I'm trying to keep reading and educate myself but i know that will take sometimes specially with no good doctor to help

thank you guys for your support
sorry for being that negative in my last post but this is the only place where i can express myself, my feelings, and my thoughts
at least i feel there is someone listening to me and trying to give me a hand
I'm so thankful for you all, hugs

[mecch]

Stop drinking if it is interfering with your job or relationships or wallet.  Otherwise HIV+ people can have a drink or 2.
Smoking is highly discouraged. Drink again, but stop smoking!
You need to know that there is no "lifestyle" adjustment that fights an HIV infection. Its just the medicine.  The medicine locks it down.  Then all the other stuff is healthy living but its not really about locking down HIV.

[mecch]

Can you put your country's history in a bit of perspective. Egypt is one of the world's most cosmopolitan and sophisticated cultures.  You had an amazing 20th century of modern culture. Amazing cinema and popular music.  If the fundamentalist mentality has reclaimed a lot of the public discourse, it's NOT the true history of your country. That's my outsider opinion. 
Do you know your own history? Cinema? Music. You know Abdel Halim right?
He sang about completely modern and contemporary relationships.  In my opinion, it has no relationship to this current fundamentalist repressive layer on society.  "Don't drink that kool-aid."  It's a sham. Powerful and dangerous. But not the true soul.

[alex16178alex]

Hi Mecch,

Thanks for the advice, for my country, agree with you that we had a beautiful culture before, but now unfortunately we don't.
Everything has been changed in the last 20 years, specially mentalities...

I know my country history very well, and I'm trying to analysis why Egypt became like this, I'm always thinking of the nice old days, and compare it with how is the situation now..

Wondering how you know this sentence "Don't drink that kool-aid" !
Plus to understand Abdel Halim songs makes me wondering more

I could answer you in details about our music, cinema, history and the changes which had happened during the past 70 years, but i guess it is not the right place to discuss this topic..

I will try to write an essay and send it as a word file to you if that possible..

A question regarding my status, as i didn't see any doctor yet, except the one in the non-financial organization, do you think i should get any x-ray to check if i have progressed a cancer of something till my blood test results comes?

for last couple of days i have a very big headache on my right half and it is paining so much...
If i go to any doctor, is it necessary to inform him that I'm HIV+? cause at the end, i'm not sure if they are capable enough to deal with HIV+ people

[hayssam]

cd4 count already existed in the beguining of 80*s .... but the viral load took much more time
my friend had blood transfusion in 1981 so they saved his live in this way in paris
maybe beacause he got type II hiv he could stay alive for 10 years without medication b4 he started azt
so am not lying about that! my best friens is living with hiv for 40 years now!  dont worry people everything will be ok

[zach]

hayssam,

you are simply wrong... what you're trying to claim has no bearing on this thread anyway, and does not advance the conversation. it is second hand information, and doesn't relate to the original poster at all. the only thing you're doing is adding inaccurate information to these boards.

you were asked by a moderator to stop, a mod by the way who is a long term survivor, and knows first hand what he says. consider that

by the way... are you hiv+? you've only posted three times, in someone else's thread, and only spoke about second hand information. start your own thread, introduce yourself.

if you're negative, go away

[DANIELtakashi]

Ditto.
Zach and Joe are right.
I wss confused when I read it.

[alex16178alex]

Thank you guys for your care, and for your support
Getting here and know that someone is supporting is really make me feel better

I know i used to be a heavy smoker, but i decided to quite
Last time i drunk alcohol was 3/19 before i know my status by a week, i guess i will keep it that way
and i started to go the gym again to reduce the stress and keep me quite healthy.

on the other hand, i have a special case here as I have a "G6PD deficiency"
which occurs when a person is missing or doesn't have enough of an enzyme called glucose-6-phosphate dehydrogenase, which helps red blood cells work properly.

Too little G6PD leads to the destruction of red blood cells. This process is called hemolysis. When this process is actively occurring, it is called a hemolytic episode. The episodes are usually brief, because the body continues to produce new red blood cells, which have normal activity.

Red blood cell destruction can be triggered by infections, severe stress, certain foods (such as beans), and certain drugs, including:

Antimalarial drugs
Aspirin
Nitrofurantoin
Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs)
Quinidine
Quinine
Sulfa drugs
Other chemicals, such as those in mothballs, can also trigger an episode.

I'm trying to find if any relation between HIV medicines, treatment and having a G.6.PD deficiency

All what i found till now is warning about some drugs for "Pneumonia" dated 2012 and they mentioned below:

** Dapsone and Primaquine - avoid in individuals with G6PD deficiency.
** Trimethoprim-Sulfamethoxazole  - Use with caution in patients with folate or G6PD deficiency.
** Sulfadiazine  - Hemolytic anemia more common in individuals with G6PD deficiency.

Link for the article - http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/InSite?page=kb-03-01-07

Does anyone here with G.6.PD or know about it can advice if HIV treatment has any drugs that affect on people like me?

Appreciate your help in advance.

[Tonny2]

         ojo       Hello Alex....I think, you must talk to your doctor about all this, I do not know your cd4 levels, but if there are below 200, you have a risk of PCP, if there are higer, no need to worry about PCP...I did have hemolitic anemia in 2010, my hemoglobine levels were to low that it trigger a small heart attack, I was already in the ER, my case of anemia, nobody knew what caused it, Ithe doctor treated me with blood transfusions and immonusupressant medications, now, I'm ok...wishing you the best and hoping you get a negative result on your confirmatory test...hugs    ojo

[mecch]

Hi Mecch,

Thanks for the advice, for my country, agree with you that we had a beautiful culture before, but now unfortunately we don't.
Everything has been changed in the last 20 years, specially mentalities...

I know my country history very well, and I'm trying to analysis why Egypt became like this, I'm always thinking of the nice old days, and compare it with how is the situation now..

Wondering how you know this sentence "Don't drink that kool-aid" !
Plus to understand Abdel Halim songs makes me wondering more

I could answer you in details about our music, cinema, history and the changes which had happened during the past 70 years, but i guess it is not the right place to discuss this topic..

I will try to write an essay and send it as a word file to you if that possible..

A question regarding my status, as i didn't see any doctor yet, except the one in the non-financial organization, do you think i should get any x-ray to check if i have progressed a cancer of something till my blood test results comes?

for last couple of days i have a very big headache on my right half and it is paining so much...
If i go to any doctor, is it necessary to inform him that I'm HIV+? cause at the end, i'm not sure if they are capable enough to deal with HIV+ people

I can't answer your questions here, and below, very technical questions about health and chemistry. Also I don't know how to be sure to get good medical treatment in your situation in Egypt.  My only lame answer is the basic advice and true thing for most HIV+ people in most situations - is with a doctor be polite, honest, somewhat informed and stick up for your human right to be treated fairly and well.  For HIV+ people in hostile environments, I can imagine the hostility adds an extra layer of complication with medical care but there still remains the basic truth that HIV+ people need regularly schedule care and need to stay in contact and treatment. Its a priority. If that can be achieved, then the drugs do their work and life is good enough.

About all the tests you are wondering about.  How long is this going to take to get to see blood numbers and an infectious disease doctor, or the doctor who is going to prescribe  medicine? 

As to the cultural references. Everyone of a certain age knows "Don't Drink the Kool-aid" is from Jim Jones' Johnstown massacre in 1978. 

I know some Middle Eastern and North African history because I started studying it among all my topics in college and just kept up a bit and visited countries when I can. And I studied the history of cinema in the world, and that was decades ago, and I keep up in my life, always learning more about musicians and artist and filmmakers around the world. Can't limit myself just to USA or Europe  

I worked for Saudis and Libyans (under Gaddafi) for a bit and so discovered Egypt as the majestic country between two really screwed up countries.  Yeah, its a pity this repressive fundamentalist layer has descended on Egypt, and other countries.  I say, and knowing it's not easy, don't drink the kool-aid because in my personal opinion this is a destructive mindset.

[hayssam]

i was diagnosed HIV + in July 2014 guys cd4 360, VL: 560 000
with syphilis and hpv coinfection.... lool they told me : GR8 new! u dont have hepatitis virus in your body... thats good news for u
huuuuu

[Denvaux]

hayssam,

you are simply wrong... what you're trying to claim has no bearing on this thread anyway, and does not advance the conversation. it is second hand information, and doesn't relate to the original poster at all. the only thing you're doing is adding inaccurate information to these boards.

you were asked by a moderator to stop, a mod by the way who is a long term survivor, and knows first hand what he says. consider that

by the way... are you hiv+? you've only posted three times, in someone else's thread, and only spoke about second hand information. start your own thread, introduce yourself.

if you're negative, go away

Hayssams' post may not have been to your liking or approval, but it appears that Alex had no problem conversing with him so why don't you just back off and leave other posters alone? You gave me this same crap almost two weeks ago- you are not a mod on here- clearly you go out of your way to stir up trouble- either that or you are a wanna-be mod!   Take a chill pill man!

[alex16178alex]

Dear Hayssam,

Sorry to tell you that i'm trying to find a kind of support over here and get some help from others, as for sure they have more experience than me...
I'm in a very early stage and i need each positive attitude, from your comments there is some misleading information, and i found it so disturbing in fact that you have to argue others, while they are giving a correct information...
I'm terribly sorry to ask you to not comment on my post anymore
thanks for understanding

[alex16178alex]

Tonny,
Thank you for your kind wishes, let's see how the results will be!! I'm waiting

Mecch,
Glad that you know some about our culture, history

Well, for last couple of days i made some researches about HIV people situation in Egypt..

I watched many videos, interviews, reports, articles, and i came to a conclusion it is not good situation at all.

I really heard some sad stories about people who lives with HIV here, and how it is not easy to get the medicines on time for no reason, and how the doctors not bother themselves to see them, or give them the right help, and advice
How shitty the privacy here but the worst is that sometimes they just change the medicines cause the right one is not available so they give them whatever !!!

Anyway, i do appreciate your support; all of you, and really i don't know without this site, without you people; how my life would be...
the more i read, the more i get a hope
Let's see how it goes

[Denvaux]

Mmm....... I'm detecting a practical joker on this thread.... this is a strange place to play games dude.

[alex16178alex]

Mmm....... I'm detecting a practical joker on this thread.... this is a strange place to play games dude.

What do you mean Denvaux?

[Joe K]

Dear Hayssam,

Sorry to tell you that i'm trying to find a kind of support over here and get some help from others, as for sure they have more experience than me...
I'm in a very early stage and i need each positive attitude, from your comments there is some misleading information, and i found it so disturbing in fact that you have to argue others, while they are giving a correct information...
I'm terribly sorry to ask you to not comment on my post anymore
thanks for understanding

Hayssam,

The OP has requested that you do not post in this thread and now, so am I.

Joe

[zettainaoru]

I dont really know about egypt.
I can only share about the case here, which also have stigma, altough not that really bad.

First, get treated. Its OK if they need your data. As long as you get treated.
Sometimes people just to scared of someone knowing it, and dont get treated. They think everyone else eyes were on them. Although mostly people actually dont really care and the government just need your data for their paperwork.

Get a community if able. You have the internet know. Its not that difficult to find a community nearby.

If someone found out you have it in your area. Move to another area. Even a few kilometers is sometimes enough.
A big city is probably better. Since most of people dont care about others.
Especially if you live in some kind of apartment. I dont even know who is living next door.

Make a supply before you start ARV for at least a month. Sometimes theres delay of ARV due to bad management. And this is bad since you must drink ARV continiously. But I believe things will get better.
Here, the last delay was in about 2010. The system is getting better and better.

And if your using the old ARV, you can always buy generic version of it from india for your stock.

[alex16178alex]

I dont really know about egypt.
I can only share about the case here, which also have stigma, altough not that really bad.

First, get treated. Its OK if they need your data. As long as you get treated.
Sometimes people just to scared of someone knowing it, and dont get treated. They think everyone else eyes were on them. Although mostly people actually dont really care and the government just need your data for their paperwork.

Get a community if able. You have the internet know. Its not that difficult to find a community nearby.

If someone found out you have it in your area. Move to another area. Even a few kilometers is sometimes enough.
A big city is probably better. Since most of people dont care about others.
Especially if you live in some kind of apartment. I dont even know who is living next door.

Make a supply before you start ARV for at least a month. Sometimes theres delay of ARV due to bad management. And this is bad since you must drink ARV continiously. But I believe things will get better.
Here, the last delay was in about 2010. The system is getting better and better.

And if your using the old ARV, you can always buy generic version of it from india for your stock.

Hi zettainaoru,
Glad to hear from you, and thnx for your reply..
 
What is ARV? sorry i'm still trying to up-date my vocabulary..

Yeah, thanks for mentioning INDIA, I just saw an article says it has a good stock that can be bought online with a cheaper price even, but I guess I have to get my results first, see a doctor and know at least which one I have to buy...
Also i heard about online shopping from Canada

hopefully get my test results end of this week!! it has been now 21 days since they took my blood for testing..

for the community, I'm trying to build a new one here, and i had the 1st voice chatting 2 days ago
it was really great, as it was first time since i found I'm poz (3 weeks ago) to talk to someone about it using my voice....can't tell you how it feels specially also he was a very good listener, adviser...

[alex16178alex]

I guess you mean antiretroviral therapy (ART), right?

[mecch]

The thing with Indian drugs is that the drugs are good, far less expensive then branded drugs, but there still is a sliding price.

Its not dirt cheap to buy a month of Indian anti-retrovirals if they are shipping to North America or Europe, for example. The price could seem expensive for someone in a developing country.

For example in Thailand a person can buy off-brand drugs, for much less than indian drugs shipped to Europe.

Its all relative.

[Denvaux]

The more I read of the complexities that people face regarding healthcare in countries outside of the united Kingdom (England), the greater the reality hits home that I live in one of the greatest countries in the world. I am dumb-founnded as I see the reality that people have to pay cash up-front,or at the very least- they must have personal health care insurance to cover the cost of their medication and healthcare.  Personally, I am supplied with six months of ARV drugs twice yearly, along with regular HIV consultation and I don't pay one penny for the service. Thankfully- here- all citizens are covered for healthcare via direct taxation so we need not fear excessive bills to pay. It is very sad I feel, that this system is not a global system... It's very sad that capital fears socialism so badly.

[Denvaux]

By the way Alex, I'm glad to see that you are being much more positive in your thinking regarding your diagnosis.  Keep reading widely, get educated on the subject of HIV/AIDS, and remember that the hard work was done by the many many hundreds of thousands that went before us.  HIV is not the death sentence that it was in 1981... You and most all of us will be around for a very very long time and as happy as we choose to be -that is the reality of HIV today!

[mecch]

The more I read of the complexities that people face regarding healthcare in countries outside of the united Kingdom (England), the greater the reality hits home that I live in one of the greatest countries in the world. I am dumb-founnded as I see the reality that people have to pay cash up-front,or at the very least- they must have personal health care insurance to cover the cost of their medication and healthcare.  Personally, I am supplied with six months of ARV drugs twice yearly, along with regular HIV consultation and I don't pay one penny for the service. Thankfully- here- all citizens are covered for healthcare via direct taxation so we need not fear excessive bills to pay. It is very sad I feel, that this system is not a global system... It's very sad that capital fears socialism so badly.

Right you are sir but its important to specify that nobody's health care is "free", and that you in fact do pay for your health care via taxes. 

[Denvaux]

Right you are sir but its important to specify that nobody's health care is "free", and that you in fact do pay for your health care via taxes.

Yes Mecch, I did state that I'm my post!       

[alex16178alex]

Yeah Mecch,

i guess you are right, but if we considered that i'm from middle east, then i guess the shipping price will not be that much...
I need to know first if i have to start treatment which kind of medicines i need...
Hopefully i will not need to start right away cause i hope i can arrange myself to have a visit for a doctor in some other country, and this will take sometimes from me to be prepared...

I quite smoking, still in recovery period but i'm glad i'm not touching a cigarette at all since a few days

Denvaux,
Thnx for your support, telling you the truth, without knowing this site, all the experiences, information it has, i guess i would be somewhere thinking of how to kill myself !!!

But really as much as i read, i can find there is a hope, there is a chance to find my way, even-though i have a big challenge here in my country, i believe that my perception of life has been changed a lot...

BTW, I can say now i quite smoking my 3rd day in row without touching it

Hugs, positive vibes to everyone xxx

[mecch]

Don't count on India shipping out drugs at super low cost. If that is part of your planning.  I would check on the real situation.
Inhousepharmacy.vu is one site I know people have used.

The reason drugs are sold by Red Cross so cheap in some places, has to do with layers of NGOS and national governments involvement, and bulk prices, to poor countries.

[alex16178alex]

Hi mecch,

Yeah i ve just saw this site Inhousepharmacy y/day, but the problem it is not for my country !!

for India, i know that the shipping cost will be high, i'm checking this point as well...

I contacted a clinic in Lebanon, and they told me there is only one drug available there for around $350 which is enough for a month, but must seen by a doctor there
So this is one of my options and I'm checking its possibility, but i'm not feeling well, as how come there is "only" (one drug) they are using in their country; where there is around 22 types of drugs i think ... or maybe more in other countries...

I tried the option of Red cross, but till now i failed to reach for any information, still i have to do some more research i guess...

Now I'm trying to find a good doctor somewhere that i will be able to go and have an appointment with, very important to me to be able to get the visa for his/her country..

But again that will depends on my results, I'm going tomorrow to check if it appears..

Appreciate your help and your kindness Mecch
Big hug from me ...

[mecch]

It seems pretty scatter shot exactly which drugs are available in which countries. I have heard of name brand drugs available in some countries for less than generic. Other countries seem to be limited to older generation drugs for general availability.

You could maybe try identifying any AIDS/HIV organisations that might just might be located in neighbouring countries, to touch base with people who are on the ground and can give you specific info. 

Maybe you can dig up info at UNAIDS
http://www.merip.org/mer/mer233/hivaids-middle-east-north-africa

Global Network of Researchers on HIV/AIDS in the Middle East and North Africa
GNR-MENA serves as a forum for scientific exchange, debate and networking for researchers from around the world who are interested in studying, better understanding, and effectively responding to the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the Middle East and North Africa region.

World Health Organization - Regional Office for the Eastern Mediterranean
Focal Points and National AIDS Programme Managers in the countries of the Eastern Mediterranean Region.

World Bank MENA Country Briefs

I have no idea if any of these bodies are still functioning or what they might have morphed to.


http://www.worldbank.org/en/region/mena

[mecch]

for India, i know that the shipping cost will be high, i'm checking this point as well...

This may be a translation problem so I though I would check.

I am not saying that the shipping is high. The postage. I am saying that the price is high when an individual buys direct from a pharmacy. A pharmacy like the one I linked to, is for profit.  It provides a good service to people in rich countries who for one reason or another, don't have the 1000 to 2000 USD a month for the name brand cost in their country.  So 150-300 USD seems like a bargain.

But thats direct to customer.  The UN and The US government put pressure on pharma companies quite a number of years ago to figure out how to drop the cost to something affordable to developing countries. 300 a month is not affordable.  So there are various ways that both name brand drugs by euro and american pharma are vastly discounted, and ways indians were allowed to continue their patent breaking, and supplying bulk drugs, "generic", filtered through governments and NGOS, so that more of the world could receive treatment. 

I don't know, but I can speculate that if a country has some moral issue treating HIV, then it might not be fully taking advantage of the full spectrum of drugs that is out there. 

[zettainaoru]

Sory for the late reply. Yes i mean ART with ARV. Sometimes people call it HAART.

So... have you got your first med yet?

Tenofovir, 3TC and Efavirenz probably the most common drug used today in many country. In some country AZT, 3TC and Nevirapine is more common.

[alex16178alex]

Hi Mecch, Zettainaoru,

I'm trying to find the best option to buy my drugs from another country once i need it...

I'm still waiting for my test results, i think this Tuesday 4/21 will be available!
I really hope i don't need to start treatment immediately so i can have sometime to find another option...

[alex16178alex]

Hi guys,

It has been a while i didn't post cause i was waiting to visit that center and get my test results, answers for my questions which i thought about

I met the consultant doctor there and she told me below:

- My test results which I was waiting is only the confirmation test not CD4 or VL and still not came yet..
- she asked me to go to a private lab to check my CD4
- VL is not available in egy at all
- yes there is shortage in drugs from time to time.
- doctors still not qualified enough and the center trying to keep giving them training
- if serious health problem for any poz, the center help to try to find a good doctor who can accept the case
- privacy now is fine somehow in the main hospital which provides the drugs, but there is still some risk to spread the word to others
- they arrange a lawyer in case someone got fired from his job due to this, but usually ppl don't continue the case cause they get afraid.
- she told me I look fiscally OK and she doesn't think I ve to start treatment now.
at this point i mentioned that it is recommended to start treatment for anyone who is poz, but she told me she is just afraid of not getting the drugs on time, she prefer to delay the treatment as much as possible.
- drugs from global funds, the health ministry get it for free, and it's around 3 types..
- side effect is diff from person to another, but still they are limited with the types available, so ppl who depends on the ministry has no options or choice
- drugs from the main hospital monthly, if it is there

- she advised me to have a normal life n try to deal with it like diabetes and didn't recommend the supporting group in my case.. she said u look well educated and not so desperate plus the community here could have more talks and that way I ll not keep the privacy...

Finally she recommended if I can follow up with doctors from any other country that would be for sure much better than treatment here.

Now I reached to point zero again, but I understood now that I ve to find my own way...

First will have my CD4 test in a private lab next week
And will keep preparing for another country visit and advises, treatment if necessary 

I'm checking now with some centers in my neighbor countries like Turkey, Algeria, Tunisia, i dropped Lebanon from the plan

I just thought to share with you guys my findings so maybe could get any advice from you...

I'm not feeling so down now, but still having insomnia most of nights, even during work, can't control my mind to stop thinking but all over I think i'm OK

Sorry for the long post
Appreciate any advise in advance.

[mecch]

1) So what exactly are the combos available.

2) are they willing to treat you if you ask?

Because, if supply is a problem.  One thing people do, where interruptions can be an issue, is get a stock before they start.  So if you can get a CD4 and VL test, and the number is comfortable enough for you to wait several months - can you tell you want to start, and get the drugs.  But don't take them. Since they are NOT checking anything, they won't know you are not swallowing the pills. When you have  cushion of drugs, then you start.

[alex16178alex]

1) So what exactly are the combos available.

2) are they willing to treat you if you ask?

Because, if supply is a problem.  One thing people do, where interruptions can be an issue, is get a stock before they start.  So if you can get a CD4 and VL test, and the number is comfortable enough for you to wait several months - can you tell you want to start, and get the drugs.  But don't take them. Since they are NOT checking anything, they won't know you are not swallowing the pills. When you have  cushion of drugs, then you start.

I tried to get from her the drugs names or the combos but she didn't tell me, i think she was not familiar with that specific question, she told me whatever received they are providing, but so far she knows it is only around 3 types
sometimes it is a pill per day and some other times it is 2 times a day

VL test is not exist here in Egy, they depend on CD4 only

They provide the drugs only when the CD4 is less than 350 not before
and in this case i don't think it will be good idea if i reached to this number and kept the drugs for a month or two before i start, am i right Mecch?!

[mecch]

Please try to find other HIV+ people in your country who know the system a bit. I realise this breaks your privacy but - since the other HIV+ is not in your circle, and HIV+, I don't see a huge privacy risk and the knowledge gained is very valuable. 

It seems to me if you are weighing getting treatment in your country vs. your options elsewhere, it would be helpful to know what drugs are routine available in your country. 

Also, what a Kafka nightmare as how do they have the rule about CD4 if they don't in fact test CD4?

And how does a doctor seeing HIV+ patients, not know the 3 drugs at her disposal?  Is this a cultural thing where the doctor has so much power and prestige that the patient has no right to any info? Does she really not know, and is therefore THAT incompetent? Is it just because you have the scandalous HIV virus and therefore no right to anything?    grrrrrrrrrr


Really i cannot recommend on such individual and specialised questions as if you need to start at 500 or 350 or if you at some point reach 350, if it is then useful to take the drugs, but wait to swallow for a few months, to have a small cushion.

I do know that stopping and starting is not good and you need, now, to figure out how to get the most reliable access for when you do indeed start.

[alex16178alex]

Also, what a Kafka nightmare as how do they have the rule about CD4 if they don't in fact test CD4?

And how does a doctor seeing HIV+ patients, not know the 3 drugs at her disposal?  Is this a cultural thing where the doctor has so much power and prestige that the patient has no right to any info? Does she really not know, and is therefore THAT incompetent? Is it just because you have the scandalous HIV virus and therefore no right to anything?    grrrrrrrrrr

Well, we have here 2 places handling  HIV:
1st is the helping center which i went to, it's called "caritas", this is a non profitable organization, they provide the initial test, advices to prevent HIV, or to HIV+ people, and support groups, legal support through human rights lawyers.
once the person is tested +, they take another blood sample and send it to a lab related to the health ministry for a confirmation

the 2nd place is the health ministry hospitals (this is the real responsible, controlling)
they conduct the tests again (once register) with them, including CD4 test, and some tests related to liver and lungs
they are responsible to provide the drugs if the CD4 is less than 350

so to be fair enough with that lady, maybe she is only an advisor and people just calling her a doctor, i didn't ask her in fact if she is really a doctor or not
and it seems that nobody is bother himself to ask about the kind of drugs, the country of origin for the drugs, she looked surprised that i kept asking for all those questions, i had a list with me with the drugs names, combos, that i got it from this site somewhere..

I will keep trying to figure out which drugs do we have here in my country
and for finding some + people here, also i'm searching through internet for some people who i can get any information from them and see how they are dealing with all those challenges over here but till now didn't search properly

[Saintfranciscus]

Okay, dont hesitiate to mail when u need something.

Been on meds for a little more then two months now, and honestly, this change isn't something that devastating, but if I had to list priorities to get my life from the panic mode back into some kind of track then i'd say the following, maybe its usefull...

Remember: it's personal, what good for me might be different for others...

1. Getting the right treatment going gave me the feeling I was dealing with it and taking action. As it looks now, it's all quite succesful and effective.
2. The right treatment needs the right logistics, the right hospital, doctor, pharmacy, place to put my meds, method to take them on trips, all this was a large chunk of getting sure about myself in this proces.
3. I am soooo happy no one knows. Now I dont need to manage other peoples feelings or worry about prejudices. I feel slightly guilty because at some point in the future I think I need to make it public, to contribute to the general acceptance, but awill do that at the right moment, not yet.
4. This blog / forum actually gave me all the contacts I needed to get my info and not feel lonely. Sure, there were moments of huge stress, but being who I am means that sharing that would give me extra stress and concerns about the one I am sharing it with.
5. Taking lots of time to reflect and some meditation gave me calmness.

Hugs!

[alex16178alex]

Hello Guys

It has been a while i didn't write any post as i had no news to share
But as I went to a private lab and got my CD4 / CD8 count results, I would like to share with you

CD4 still above 500
CD8 + cells counts *** 2637/mm2 ***Range 465-1600/mm2
CD4/CD8 ratio       ***     0.3      *** Range 1.00-1.5

My CD4 seems OK for now but my CD8 and the ratio is not that much good i guess...
Any advice to keep my CD4 & CD8 in a good or better conditions?

Also, I found a private doctor in Cairo, appreciate the help I got it from a member here  And I'm really glad to contact him 

I'm planning to visit this doctor very soon, and keep checking with the lab for next couple of months to see the progress...

Appreciate your help in advance and I'm sending hugs to everyone in this site
You all are amazing and supportive

Saitntfranciscus, thank you so much for your advices
have a great day xoxo
Alex