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Author Topic: scared silly  (Read 5624 times)

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Offline scaredsilly

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scared silly
« on: April 08, 2009, 10:38:35 pm »
I had sex with someone 5 weeks ago that tested HIV+ last week. After he told me of course I imagined having every symptom that I read was related. Honestly I feel nothing. I'm going to get tested but I wanted to tell you about the event to hopefully give me a little peace of mind while I wait for the window period. We attempted to have sex but he was unable to keep an erection and he never really penetrated me. I did feel a little wetness so I believe he ejaculated outside of me. I performed oral for about 10 seconds then we decided this was a done deal and went to sleep. Do you believe I was a high risk and could also be positive?

Offline scaredsilly

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Re: scared silly
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2009, 12:24:10 am »
After reading some of the posts I thought I needed to add more information. I am a 43 year old female who had sex with a 43 year old male penis to vagina. He found out he was positive because he had a cough that wouldn't go away for weeks and then developed diarreah and had no appetite. He went to the emergency room and they kept him to rule out TB which they did. During all the testing they did the HIV+ result was made.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: scared silly
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2009, 05:32:48 am »
As you know the only way to know your status is by testing.

Offline Ann

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Re: scared silly
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2009, 05:46:25 am »
scared,

If he never actually penetrated your vagina, you're worrying unnecessarily in this instance. Even if he came OUTSIDE of you. Just as frottage (rubbing genitals together with NO penetration) is not a risk for hiv infection, neither is getting cum on your external genitals.

However, something tells me you aren't in the habit of making your partner use condoms. If so, you need to test three months past your last incident of unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse - no matter who your partner was or what you think  about his sexual health - to discover your hiv status.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple - so start insisting on their use before it's too late for you.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scaredsilly

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Re: scared silly
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2009, 06:21:31 am »
Thanks for the straight talk Ann. I don't know what tipped you off that I was not in the habit of using condoms but sadly I must admit that you are right. I always thought  it couldn't be me. This incident has definitely woke me up and hopefully when I test in June I will be fine. That is how long I have to wait to test right?

Offline Ann

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Re: scared silly
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2009, 07:03:58 am »
Scared,

What tipped me off is I recognised myself in your words, and even more so with your last post. I also thought at one time that "it couldn't be me"... but it was. I'm hiv positive because I didn't insist on condoms, and it COULD be you too.

You need to test three months past your last UNPROTECTED incident of anal or vaginal intercourse, not three month after the situation you brought to us because this instance didn't carry a risk as he did not penetrate you.

The very earliest you can test is six weeks past your last incident of unprotected INTERCOURSE, as the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by then. However, although a six week negative is unlikely to change, it must be confirmed at the three month point.

As I said above, don't forget to test for all the other STIs as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv - and some of them, unlike hiv, CAN be transmitted during frottage.

Good luck with your testing and PLEASE, for your own sake, start insisting on condoms. "No glove, no love."

Ann
« Last Edit: April 09, 2009, 07:05:46 am by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scaredsilly

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Re: scared silly
« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2009, 07:48:48 am »
My last sexual encounter was 5 week ago (March 1). I have learned such a valuable lesson. I feel like I may be given a second chance to get it right. No more russian roulette for me.

Offline Ann

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Re: scared silly
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2009, 07:55:51 am »
Scared,

An hiv test next week will give you a very good indication of your status. If the result is negative, test again in another six weeks for a conclusive result.

And please, don't forget to also be checked for the other STIs. It's possible to have chlamydia, for example, with NO symptoms. Untreated chlamydia is one of the leading causes of infertility in women and chlamydia is THE LEADING (ie the most common) STI in the world.

Good luck.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scaredsilly

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Re: scared silly
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2009, 08:01:15 am »
I'm making my appt today. Thanks for the insight. Hopefully I'll be posting a negative result in a few weeks.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: scared silly
« Reply #9 on: April 09, 2009, 08:04:33 am »
Silly, don't put yourself at risk. Always use condoms. It's really simple to prevent HIV and most STDs. Good luck on your testing.

Offline scaredsilly

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Re: scared silly
« Reply #10 on: May 14, 2009, 07:12:52 pm »
I took the test at the 8 week mark and it was negative. Hopefully when I take the next one the results will remain the same. Thanks so much for the knowledge.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: scared silly
« Reply #11 on: May 14, 2009, 08:19:18 pm »
THe odds are significantly in your favor that you will continue to test negative.

You need to remember for the future that no matter whom you are with and having intercourse, the guy always without exception has to wear condom. Period. By following that rule consistently it won't matter if he's HIV+ or not because condoms provide very effective protection.

Good luck with your next test result. 
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: scared silly
« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2009, 06:26:57 am »
scared,

That's good news and like Andy, I also expect you to continue to test negative. Start inisisting on condoms and you'll stay that way.

I hope you remembered my other advice and also got yourself tested for the other STIs. They're much easier to transmit and more common too.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scaredsilly

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  • Posts: 15
Re: scared silly
« Reply #13 on: May 17, 2009, 09:51:48 pm »
Ann thanks for the reply. I did get tested for other STD's and everything was negative. I bought my pleasure pack condoms and I'm definitley heeding your warnings. I appreciate the tough love.

 


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