Nobody's perfect!

[sweetasmeli]

In the light of my recent post in Tim’s thread about the AMGs, where I voiced my views on excessive drinking, I want to share something with you all.

Something happened to me last night that really made me stop dead in my tracks and think very carefully about how some issues are not so black and white.

Last night I realised that unless you have walked a mile in someone else’s shoes (metaphorically speaking of course!), you will never really understand how that person feels or what they are thinking. It doesn’t even matter if you share a common denominator – be it hiv or whatever – everyone’s experience of living with it is unique to them.

In my post in Tim’s thread I was thinking something on the lines of drunkenness is no excuse for inappropriate behaviour, although I didn’t actually say that.

Well, after what happened to me last night, I am here to say: I partly take back what I was thinking. I say ‘partly’ because although I still don’t think drunkenness in any way excuses inappropriate behaviour, I realise that it often gives cause/reason for such behaviour. And very often the person abusing alcohol is in much emotional pain.

And no, I’m not about to tell you I was drunk last night!

Actually, what happened was this:

In the spirit of my recent decisions to be open about my status with potential friends, last night I made a phone call to a girl I knew, who moved from here to the mainland late last year. She is a lovely girl, who I viewed as a potential friend after I first moved here. We started spending time together. But I didn’t disclose to her – although I wanted to, I just wasn’t ready to. Or so I thought…

As we got closer I started worrying that if she found out she might not want to be friends anymore and I would end up crushed. So, as many of you probably can empathise, I pre-empted any possible bad outcome by backing off and quietly dissolving the friendship…yes, I know now…DUH!

Anyway, because of my recent decisions/actions, last night I decided to call her to explain why I’d behaved the way I did all that time ago…

As I started easing into the explanation with “I want to explain why I backed off from our friendship last year. I have something to tell you. It’s something to do with my health…”, she stopped me in my tracks.

It turns out I had already told her!

One night we had been drinking wine at her house and talking until the early hours and, apparently I had told her then. BUT I DON’T REMEMBER AT ALL!

As a general rule, I haven't drank alcohol for about 3 years now; I certainly haven’t binge drank (check verb conjugation?). Needless to say, nowadays if I drink more than one glass, I’m done for! Well, it would seem that I drank more than one glass that night!

I couldn’t believe it; for want of another word, I was gob smacked! I cannot believe I did something as HUGE as that and didn’t remember the next day! It is the only night since I moved here to Greece that I have been drunk; and it wasn’t intentional!

So, I guess what I’m trying to say is this: Nobody’s perfect. Most of us, at some point in our lives, have had experiences we wouldn’t have done or we’d rather forget if we hadn’t been under the influence of alcohol or narcotics of some description. Hand on heart; I honestly didn’t think I had. But, it would appear that I was dead wrong about that!

Bloody hell! I dread to think what else I’ve got up to that I can’t remember!

By the way, she and I chatted for over an hour, so I now have another new friend. Cool!

Melia

[bear60]

Honey...
Let me tell you.....................the older you get the more your memory gets selective.  Drinking has a lot to do with not remembering things but its also very wierd how over time a memory sometimes sharpens or just disappears.  I came out to my 30th high school reunion as gay and HIV positive and there was a woman there who I had been in school with but I could not remember her at all.
But you did the right thing in any case.  So.....what happened_  Are you friends again?

[sweetasmeli]

Yes, she's invited me to go and visit/stay over and has also invited me to her wedding in November!
Think I'll be sticking to water if I go though...

Melia   

[Lis]

HEY... Matty is perfect!!!

I know what you mean though... Ive been throwing the A bomb out at will... it comes with drama, but at least we can be who we are for a change , instead of trying to make up an excuse...  IM SICK!!!! I'm not going to make YOU SICK!!!!  what the fuck did i do wrong that the rest of the human race can judge me...   oh, i guess it was the fact that i raise 2 kids and have a husband of 20 years...  well fuck me running!!!!.... i wont do it again!

we all need to get over ourselves... we are who we are, and that is all we are!

i love you ALL!!!!!!!

lisbeth

[Matty the Damned]

HEY... Matty is perfect!!!

Fuckin' oath I am.

MtD
(Who amazes even himself)

[sweetasmeli]

we all need to get over ourselves... we are who we are, and that is all we are!

Well said Lisbeth!

I think my avatar pretty much sums up how we can feel: Aime ce que tu es = Love what you are!

Melia

PS: I'll let you all know about Matty...all in good time, all in good time!