its been a year now....

[hjeffs]

I haven't posted on the site for a while but visit often. I am going into the year period of being diagnosed and seeing the specialist for the first time as well as going on meds come August 30th.

All the same emotions are being felt but in a different perspective. I read some of the first timer threads and can relate so well to the concern and fear.

I remember calling my partner the day I found out and sent him in to the doctor to get tested. June 27th is coming up, my birthday and that was the day we found out he was positive. I remember all I wanted for my birthday was for him to be all right.

He is starting meds tomorrow. He has had ITP and has been having Chemo treatments for a drop in his platelet count. I keep thinking this is not supposed to be like this.

We have had great change in our lives in the last year. I think we are better people and stronger as individuals as well as a couple. I know this sounds crazy and sickeningly sweet but it is true in our case. We watch each others back and are there in each others time of worry and need.

This site has been a good thing for me. Besides the information it has given me a place to vent be scared without effecting the ones around me but has been received with care and understanding. For that thank you.

I have stated before that even in my most concerned and down hearted place I keep saying that HIV+ is a part of me, it does not define who or what I am. I hope I remember that on my sickest day that all I have inside me as a special person is what I am not the illness that limits my physical activities.

Once again thanks for listening to me but I just needed to let this out of me, I feel better already.
Best to all out there.
Jeff

ps love the new site!!!!!!!

[Optimistic]

best of luck to you on the meds.  I hope it all works out for you.

Justin

[water duck]

Hi Jeff,

Thanks for posting, seems like there is alot of first for u for the moment , and it can get kind of scary. It's kind of privileged feeling one gets to read a post like this & then to reply, because u trusted this site enough to do that. Well, we all need to go thru' that unfortunately, tell u what, the second round, it will be better, promise u  

Down the road, someone told me a story of a lady who said the following, ' i blessed HIV, as it helps me , find myself --so HIV, does not define who or what u  r . It does help u to define who & what u want TO BE !

In your sickest day , let out the SPECIALNESS within yourself and watch your limitation on physical activities falls away.  Do come often, u see your burdens will be lighter  

BE BETTER  

Siang