POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Matty the Damned on September 02, 2006, 08:44:44 am
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Shut the fuck up and listen.
Yup. I said "fuck". If the use of the "F" word offends you then I suggest you eat me.
At least I didn't say cunt.
This morning I woke up only to discover that the fucking rash was back. I'm typing this with my right hand because my left arm is so inflamed and swollen that I can't move the fingers of my left hand.
Jesus Tittyfucking Christ! It in my arsehole. Even my toes hurt. Nothing is sacred.
Which is kinda cool in an ogrish sort of way. My left hand is all swollen and cold and blue. It matches my bed spread.
Well at least the bits I haven't puked on.
The EM rash is back and the pain is pretty well unbearable. I can barely walk because my knees and hips feel like they are made of needles of fire. My mouth is full of oozing battery acid style blisters and my nose won't stop bleeding.
I would have a crap, but I dread to think what might result.
At this point in time I hate everyone. Especially WW's and Christians. I just need to vent. On a christian would be particularly satisfying. And here is as good as anywhere. Well it's not as good as some places, but it will do.
MtD
(Who is not in the mood for platitudes)
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Good morning from rainy New York, Matty.
Rant away, old bean. Dare I say it's good to hear from you? You're one tough cookie, bud.
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::)
MtD
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Ok mate, you shut the fuck up and listen for once!
Get your inflamed arse to the hospital! NOW! Call Jennifer and get her to help. NOW! Don't make me come over there and spank you!
Do it!
Ann
(who's worried about the tough old goat)
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Well said, Ann. (Though threatening Matty with a spanking is like asking a kid if he wants another cookie.)
So Matty, do what Ann said and you can still have the spanking anyway. But later.
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I think it works in one of two ways:
1) I can sit and be ill and miserable in the comfort of my own home;
or
2) I can sit and be ill and miserable on a horrid plastic chair in a ghastly disease ridden waiting room amongst bogans and WW's only to be sent home to a sitz bath after 13 hours.
I'm going to bed. And I defy anyone here to say they'd do different.
MtD
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Ok mate, you shut the fuck up and listen for once!
Get your inflamed arse to the hospital! NOW! Call Jennifer and get her to help. NOW! Don't make me come over there and spank you!
Do it!
Ann
(who's worried about the tough old goat)
Agreeing with Ann here, love. GO NOW. And the way your ass is feeling, I'm sure you don't want it spanked!!
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Matty, having to clean up your own puke before getting back into bed is hardly comfortable. Go where they can take care of these things for you. Do as you're told young man! Damn-it! At least promise me you'll ring Jennifer.
Ann
(who thinks martyrdom doesn't suit)
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Matty, Matty...I'm surely not gonna tell you what to do...please be careful though, promise?
We need you around here to keep everyone in line :D
I agree that you should at the very least call Jennifer. So just shut the fuck up and do it young man!
Love ya Matty!
Nadine
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Matty Poo,
Listen up you A#&HOLE...venting is fine, but worrying the heck out of us is not. Your bleeding heart would be the first one in line to suggest treatment to someone else if the shoe was on the other foot. If you want to sleep in your own puke so be it...I want you to know it breaks our hearts to hear about it.
For the first time I find nothing funny in your gallows humor.
In sadness,
Hal :'(
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*
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I love you Matty. Please do what you have to in order to get better.
Jonathan
(who does not often go there)
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Well this Christian could take your arse right now if you dont take care of your fucking fucked up fucking arse this very minute god dam it!!
Love
Eric
PS whats a cunt?
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MtD,
Call the fucking doctor and go to the hospital.
Christine
-who is worried about you....
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MAtt, please, go to the doctor...PLEASE!!!
Alex
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matty im new here but i concur with the others here,get to the fucking hospital,now you got me swearing,but its ok i like that word,im not so new i cant see you need to be pushed into the docs,sounde like your going through some bad shit now,why suffer if you dont have to?fuck the suffering,go to the doc and at least get something that may help you,now arent you glad you welcomed me here now?have you had meds changed recently?take care
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I know you are a smart man. I know you will do the smart thing.
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Hmmm, Matty, your butt itches? Give me a call, I think I can take care of that one for you. ;)
Roodles
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The sweetest keeper of weasels would like to remind Mr.The Damned, that the nice people with the white coats have steroidal dosepacks, Atarax, and all manner of pain management medicines.
Kisses on a place that doesn't hurt......... :-*
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Matty!!! GO NOW!!!! You owe me a dance young man and I sure as hell aint dancing with a guy that looks like you do now!!! Seriously, get your ass to the ER!!!!
Hugs
Jena
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Matty hon, I went to call you earlier as soon as I saw this, then suddenly realised it would be 4am your time, so I quickly closed my phone before it rang! (at least I hope I did! If I didnt, sorry if I woke you! ;D) That said, I will be calling you as soon as the hour is decent...I'm totally 'my own bed person' when I'm sick, I felt the same when I was in hosp with shingles, so I get how you feel on that score! However, I'm hoping that once you went to bed, if you woke up still feeling just as crap that you did the sensible thing and got your ass back to hospital. I know I know, nag nag!!! So bite me too! It's been a while since anyone nibbled on me... ::)
Your Melia :-*
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Matty,
I hope you are doing better!
Sending good thoughts and positive energy to you!
Hugs
Teresa
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Just try to find a balance between what's going to help you feel better in the long run what makes you feel better right now.
Or I will beat you up.
<3
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Matty,
Fuck.
Love,
Zephala :-*
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Matty, I'm a Christian and sometimes I say...well...fuck. OK I say it a lot. But I only mean it in a holy sort of way. you know. Please vent and feel what you feel. My heart goes out ot you.
brother joe
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Matty,
Now you have Zephie saying fuck. What the fuck? Matty, what are you doing to yourself? Now I'm saying fuck. Drag yourself down to the hospital.
Improve your day!
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/me readies his cattle prod. Just put a nice little sign around your neck that offends everyone in the waiting room so they look after you quicker ;) There may not be much they can do, as I'm sure many of us discover from time to time, but you always miss 100% of the shots you don't take dude. Going to bed is a bit denialist, yet immediatly comfortable. Give the hospital a go, purty please.
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And here I thought red was reserved for love letters *blush*
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Matty,
From your Christian right wing conservative nemesis........get the fuck to the doctor buddy! Seriously, I am worried about you pal.
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Fuck it all Matty. Cut the arm off, file down the rash, have a smoke and 3 drinks and flip the world the bird as you crash and burn! But please do it after you see the DOC!
Andrew <-- Who tried praying for you, but God sent me an email saying: "CUT it out!!!"
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Just found this . very worried about you , get yourself taken care of. Cristy
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Well Matty........
General consensus suggest you are much loved....Now take everybody's Fucking
advice and get something done. Believe it or not...even I would miss your scrawny ass here on
the forum....and yeah I said a prayer for you...Now tell me to shut the fuck up and get on with it ::)
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Matty sends his apologies to everyone for the tone of this thread.
(I'm sure what he means is: hes f**kin sorry for the f**kin tone of this f**kin thread!) >:(
I just spoke with him (which was very nice indeed to finally put a voice to the potty mouth!). He's still in a lot of pain and very swollen. He has seen a doctor who, from what I understood, told him he just had another attack and he just has to sit it out with painkillers. Well, I'm sure he wont be sitting it out quietly...!
He's having trouble typing with banana fingers...said something last night about texting me with his left foot!
So that's why you're getting this news from the monkey and not the organ grinder...
No doubt he and his left foot will be on here again in no time!
Incidently, the voice does not match the vicious character portrayed on here. Very gentle and sexy, aha aha! ;)
Yes Mattymoo, I'm OUTING you as a big soft pussycat!!!
Melia :-*
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Matty has the best voice in the world.
(I suppose it helps that I have a thing for Australian accents.)
I so did not say that.
But! He does sound very gentle. Especially when telling stories. :3.
(Bwahahaha, and I've just outed Matty as a good bedtimestoryteller.)
Seriously, between Melia and me, Matty, you'll never scare another person on this site again. :P Oops.
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Your Grace,
Pls go to the hospital where we know you're being taken care of. Yes yes I know plastic seats suck, the air smells funny, and there's lots of bad outfits, but we need ya here. There's only one MtD, we can't buy a new one you know.
Love ya,
Charlie
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Oh you poor thing! Have you started taking your meds yet or are you still being stubborn and heard headed? Are you drinking again, or is it still?
Yes, the hospital can be a pain but you can't catch a fish unless you put a hook in the water!
Kill yourself if you must, but I'll still be praying for you.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, amen.
Bill
P.S. I have the speckled trout look because of the well known Sustiva rash. Maybe we could get together for a walk to the pub! You with your sizzling left side and blue puck splattered arm and me with my raised red welt/rash speckled trout look. What a pair we'd make!
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Hey Matty, I'm glad you saw the fucking doctor, but I'm sorry that more couldn't be done for you. At least you know it's just more of the fucking same and not anything fucking worse.
Hope the bananas turn back into fingers soon and you're feeling more yourself quickly. Please take care of yourself!
I'll save the hugs for when you're not so sore - don't want a smack in the gob from no nanafingers!
Ann
xxx
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Matty,
Just fucking feel better and get your arse back here soon!
Love ya', Ya' know?
Peace,
Kelly
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hey Matty,
I wish I'd known this earlier so I could have dragged your sorry arse out to our spiritual home, Leichhardt Oval, to puke on a few Rabbitoh bogans for me.
You know the score - if you need a puke free bed, the company of a little itty bitty one, or just wanna get away studio 36 (aka HIV central) has a vacancy. you have my number
Steve
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Hope you're better on this Sunday than you were yesterday, Matty.
Or at least well enough to get to church. I don't think you'd want to miss that. Right.
People keep saying you're going to type with your left foot. I'm betting that's not your left foot you're using but maybe it's because I attribute extraordinary powers to you. If you get my drift.
If the well wishes of friends can do it you must be swigging them down in a pub today. After church.
Big cheers,
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Matty,
Sorry about the painful health dilemma, I hope you feel better soon!
Kindest,
Drew
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Hi MtD,
I am so fucking glad you called the doctor. I was worried about you last night. I hope those pain killers kick in fast. Can you still flip the bird with swollen, banana fingers? :)
Christine
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Sh*t.
Sorry, Matty.
This just sucks the big one.
I hope you're feeling better soon.
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Hay, this movie was already made! Come up with something original!
Matty, "KICK" this thing!
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Get well Matty!!!!
Alex
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Matty-
Get ur ass to the hospital. U r loved and if the shoe was on the other foot, u'd suggest the quickest way of treatment possible. Go now!
RobT
9/27/2005-1st test results
Viral Load >1,000,000
CD4 204
CD4%age 18
CD4/CD8 ratio .23
11/24/2005- Sustiva/Truvada
04/18/2006
Viral Load 140
CD4 402
CD4%age .21
CD4/CD8 ratio .39
06/27/2006
Viral Load 42
CD4 409
CD4%age .21
08/01/2006
Viral load- undetectable
CD4 493
CD4%age .33
Next appt. 09/22/2006
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Matty, I hope you will be well soon, Joe (aka "asshole" Joe ::) )
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Now, don't we all feel better after a good old fashioned cuss out? ;D
As my Spokesperson Melia ;) mentioned, I did see a medico on Sunday and he confirmed what I already knew, that it was just a recurrent attack of EM. Recurrences are unusual but not unheard of and can produce nasty lesions and swollen joints and what not.
The symptoms are now pretty much in remission. The rash is fading (again) and my all my joints have returned to normal size. The lesions (yes even the ones in my little treasure) are almost gone. I can walk and type again.
Oh Happy Day!
I see Frau Eva tomorrow at 1500 hrs (that's 3 pm to those of you who had a state education) and I should know more then.
To anyone who was a bit freaked out by my original post, I apologise. Matty the Damned was just having a frustrated rant and no frustrated rant is complete without pouting, screaming and profanity. The swollen joints I can deal with. The rash, well these things happen. The puking and the bleeding nose, just one of the many things one has to put up with.
But I draw the line at lesions up my bum. That's just not cricket. I'm fairly mild mannered and calm sort of queen, but painful diseases of the butt-hole just will not be tolerated. I decided it was time to have a all singing, all dancing tantrum.
Sure it won't fix the problem, but chucking my teddy out of the cot made me feel a little bit better. ;D
As for the christian thing, I can explain that too. After copping a so-called "fatwa" as a result of my David Hicks article on the Spin Cycle, I decided it was probably time to lay off the rug-kissers for a while and hop into the Jesus freaks.
They've been getting a bit uppity of late, and they're less likely to send me a semtex get well card through the mail.
MtD
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Whats your address Matty? :D
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1600 Pennsylvania Avenue . . . . .
MtD
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You have a BIG ASS HOUSE!
I am glad your doing better... Cracker! (new term for me)
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Just so you know "cracker" is to white people as "nigger" is to black people.
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Just so you know "cracker" is to white people as "nigger" is to black people.
I don't think cracker envokes as negative a connotation as the "n" word...nor does it produce as volatile a reaction.
Scream cracker in a room full of whites...then try screaming the "n" word in a room full of blacks...see who has a more visceral reaction.
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Ok, I retract my "crackers" and offer peanuts.. ;)
In the "meany" time, Matty is back on his normal path of destruction!! YEAH!
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Ok, I retract my "crackers" and offer peanuts.. ;)
In the "meany" time, Matty is back on his normal path of destruction!! YEAH!
Yep, you are right Eric...sorry for the hijack. I'm happy to see our boy is on the mend. :D
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;D
Ahh...MTD is back...Love you mate!
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Matty
Blue asked about you and how you were doing.I will let her know your back in rare form.
She said you could compare notes on hospital food once she is home...
Cherie
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FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
I love trashy talk ;)
Get yourself better soon!
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Good to see you are back and healing. You can't know how much energy has been thrown your way from all over the globe, but I got news for ya, we did, you got it, and now things are turning around. Amazing.
Love ya Matty!
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Matty,
What Tim said.
HUGS,
Mark
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Dear Crackers,
I see the good Frau at 1500 hrs today. My sister and brother-in-law are taking me, to make sure I go. All will be revealed.
MtD
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Bet she discusses combo. Not that this is a good line of argument with you, but...just saying... bet she does.
Get well soon.
- matt
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Bet she discusses combo. Not that this is a good line of argument with you, but...just saying... bet she does.
Frankly dear, she speaks of little else. I'm gonna hit her up for some super-duper pain relief. ;D
MtD
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This Cracker suggests Demerol............The pain...the pain...its a gone ah!
What a relief. Once every three hours works like a charm for me.
Glad you're back....somebody's gotta give the devil a run for his money ::)