leatherman:
Since I have mentioned her in these forums numerous times through the years, I wanted to say something about my GrandMother who recently passed away at the age of 104 (and 1 month).
I was very lucky to have grown up with all 4 of my grandparents still alive through my childhood; but my fondest memories are of my maternal grandmother. Not only did she take me daily to drivers ed during a summer course, she also took me when it was time to get my first drivers license. Because I was the first grandchild (my brothers are over half a decade younger than me and just 2 yrs apart themselves), my grandparents took me on a grand tour of Florida for a 2 week vacation when I was 14.
Years later, after I had lost my first partner and barely survived AIDS twice myself, I was amazed at how much my GrandMother and I had in common. When I would go home (from OH to NC) for a visit, I would rotate through all my family spending nights. I always set aside 2 days and nights with my Nana because we could talk for hours about meds, doctor appts, aches, pains, and dead spouses. Those were some odd times for sure. Still sickly but recovering, I was kind of horrified, and yet comforted, by so much I at 38 had in common with my 83 yr. old grandmother.
She continued driving (with a lead foot!) until she was 96 when she had to have a hip replacement. It wasn't until she was 98 and recovering from the other hip replacement before we could get her to move into assisted living. For the next four years, my husband and I visited with her every Sunday. Unfortunately at 103 she was needing more assistance and we moved her to a nursing home, just a mile away from my house. Because of COVID restrictions it was nearly 8 months before we could visit her without just waving through the window. Luckily, although most of her hearing was gone by then, Nana could still see well and we printed out pictures and signs to continue keeping her in the loop with all the goings-on on the outside. When in-person visitation was finally allowed, only 2 vaccinated, masked people could visit, so my mom and I continued to visit Nana once a week. In the last 2 months, her decline sped up until she was no longer conscious for our last 3 visits and her weight had dropped to just 60 lbs.
Last Friday, while my mom was away on a short vacation, I visited alone. Even though Nana wouldn't wake up for me, I stayed for half an hour, talking to her like usual about what was going on in our lives, and "showing" her pictures from my phone. I remember pointing out to her that someone was still putting on her lipstick for her - as she was always a stickler for having lipstick on, re-applying it after every meal. About 8 hrs later, Nana finally slipped away.
She was an amazing woman. She survived two pandemics (Spanish Flu and Covid). The first woman in her town to drive a car and one of the first women to attend and graduate from Elon College (the only female in the school band). She was two weeks away from marrying a different man when she met my grandfather. She immediately dumped the other guy and married my grandfather instead who doted on her every whim for the next 65 years. She and my grandfather visited all 50 states (twice!) and went to 17 other countries. Just like how her mother (my great-grandmother) cared for her bed-ridden husband for 15 yrs after his stroke, Nana cared for her husband for 5 yrs before he passed away from Alzheimers. Their strength and love for their husbands was the inspiration for me as I cared for both of my husbands before they passed away. Nana certainly lived a long life (outliving her 3 siblings and their wives), going everywhere and doing anything she was determined to do. Definitely a life lived well and certainly a long life.
RIP Margaret Joyce Snavely August 10, 1917 – September 10, 2021
Grasshopper:
My condoleances with your loss. May she rest in Peace.