chalkboy007:
Hey guys thanks for the response. I was diagnosed back in May of last year, I forgot my stats upon diagnosis but am since undetectable. I actually didn't lose it due to the status itself jts due to the long deploy time we can have for wildfires and incident response. It doesn't fir with my only being able to get 30 day supply only of meds amd i have to be able to be gone for up to 30 to 90 days at a time during the fire season. I actually take biktarvy it seems to be doing okay. Not sure if I have side effects or not or if it's all mental. I just don't have energy anymore. My story is kind of wierd and my fault. During my off season a couple years ago I lost quite a few family members and went on a downward spiral. I recently got divorced and was woth one man only for 10years and was so timid about trying to have sex with another person that when I finally got the courage this individual brought meth over. I always hated meth my dad was a meth head and it destroyed my childhood but when I saw it, I thought why not just one time to see why nobody can control this stuff. So I used and felt good for the first time after grief from deaths and my ex husband I actually got hookrd on it for 2 years. I think I caught the virus being risky. It's such a long story, this past 4 years has been a nightmare. I went from management to happily married to single and mad and successful in firefighting. It took one time and use of a stupid drug to throw everything away. I eventually became homeless, had my brand new jeep I paid more than halfway off stolen. Lost my entire life savings on a silly non profit idea I had while I was homeless. Recently after being sober for a year I went to try and enlist in the navy to get my life back on track and found out I was positive. It was a low blow and been dealing with it alone and fairly suicidal. They don't have support groups to help and I have nobody to turn too. I've failed at two attempts of suicide within the past year and cant seem to do it right my body handles large amounts of substances to well I guess it's tolerance. Sorry for the long story I'm fairly bad at weighting so please pardon me
Tonny2:
ojo. Omg!!! what a story. Maybe you can join us in an hour next peers support meeting, maybe it would help you know all other people with your same mental issues.. Having you seen a specialist?, Being suicidal is a major issue and I don’t know what else to tell you that I just sent you a virtual hug and I wish and hope you can go back to have a normal life. I’m sure that would help you can reset your life again and start from scratch. I don’t know how old you are, but there’s never too late to get up in start stronger than ever. We are here for you. Hopefully we can help you feel better. You are not alone, we are here for you and please don’t try to kill yourself ever again. Life is beautiful even after an HIV diagnosis, trust me , I know what I’m talking about… Hang in there please keep us posted ….hugs
chalkboy007:
Thanks for your kind words. I am currently working hard to see a specialist it's kind of hard with the lengthy weight times and all. I would love to join a support meeting when one is available.