Might have to say goodbye.

[Mouse]

So, a lot of you guys know about my little mouse, Morgan, who I rescued from a pet shop with horrible bloody bruises and scabs all over him. And how I stayed up with him for days treating him and making sure he didn't rip his wounds open and putting antibacterial cream on him constantly until he finally healed up, and his scabs disappeared and his fur grew back in nice and thick and black.

And how he managed to contract lice somehow, and got an infection from the bites, and how he needed to be brought the vet every week for shots to clear up the mites and how I had to force feed him orange-y smelling antibiotics.

Today he started twitching and spasming uncontrollably for no reason and finally curled up in a little ball in the corner of his cage and just laid there. I noticed he has lice again. He's breathing, strongely, but he isn't moving much and only seems to get up to grab a seed from his bowl and nibble on it, and then falls back into a heap and just lays there looking kind of straight and rigid and breathing hard and deep. He also lets me pick him up without any sort of struggle, which is wierd for him because he isn't much of a fan of being held.

I have an appointment schleduled at the vet for him for today at 5:20 PM. My mom is driving me and I'm paying. It's like 23 bucks. Or more. I don't know yet. I have like nothing though and I don't know where the money for whatever treatment they give him is going to come from.

Part of me feels they're going to suggest I put him to sleep though. And I'm scared because I don't know if I can make a decision like that.

I haven't slept tonight. I'm kind of in a fog. I've been through everything with this mouse and he sort of represents to me something small and weak that can just fight through all kinds of wicked awful shit and still make it out okay. And his dying would tear me apart in ways I cannot even describe. Since I took him home I've had the mentality that if some little shitty runty little mouse can survive crazy shit then surely I can, cause I'm considerably bigger than him (though some may debate this) and certainly stronger. But now I don't know. I think this is as much about me as it is about him. He can't die on me right now.

Edited cause I forgot to add:

[JeffInNYC]

Cute mouse.  But how does he keep getting lice?

Anyway, maybe he just isnt feeling well and they can fix whatever is troubling him.  Whats the lifespan of a mouse?

I know metaphorically you are somewhat making it about you.  And when it comes to a pet you love, it is somewhat about you.  But you have to try to put those feelings aside and see what the vet says and do what is best for your pet - even if that means putting him down.  You know I just got my first dog a year ago and it took a month or two for me to realize what pet lovers feel.  I cannot even imagine not having this pooch in my life.  He is great!  And assuming I outlive him, it would be very painful to have to put him down one day.

Anyway, Jaser, take care and dont be so hard on yourself...you did way more for that mouse than I think most people would.  Thats something to pat yourself on the back for.

Keep us updated.

[Mouse]

I think the treatment didn't work, he had eggs left on him, and now they've hatched.

Mice live 2 or 3 years. He should have some time left to him. He really should.

[Mouse]

He's astonishing. I don't know how. But he's okay.

We brought him in today to the vet. My vet, by the way, adores both of us and thinks we're a great pair. She checked him out, took him in back and gave him a shot for the lice. I'm going to have to start bringing him back every two weeks for shots.

She said he had no infections and didn't need antibiotics this time. She said he's probably feeling very crappy from itching and scratching all the time, that he's a tad underweight but if he's eating properly it's most likely just a normal weight for him, considering he's very small for an adult mouse. He's next to me in a smaller cage right now so I can clean him out easier twice a day to keep from getting infected.

He's sort of just sitting in the middle of the cage in a mound of bedding itching away at his ears and scratching and biting. She promised me he'd stop itching like that in the next couple days or so.

I feel so much better that my little boy is gonna hang on a bit longer. 

[DingoBoi]

goodun's on you bubby

[BB]

Death is a reality we all must deal with.

But as long as your little buddy has a good quality of life don't give up on him.

Good for you being an angel to your pet.

BB

(who has lost to many little buddies in the recent past.)

[Teresa]

Glad Morgan is doing better! Hes lucky to have you!

Hugs
Teresa