Need advice about doctors

[RossH]

Hi I was diagnosed in April 2016. My Family Physician who I have had for 30 years was very angry that I tested POZ. He did refer me to the best infectious disease doctor in the Dayton OH who could not be more compassionate.  He responds to my emails immediately and will call me at a moments notice if I have questions. The man even offered to pray with me since he knows I am a Christian.

My Family Practice became rather smug initially and if I went to him for a sore throat he would say not my area of expertise what does your ID say?  He has my labs from the ID so he knows I am not nor ever had AIDS. Just HIV. With the lowest CD4 of 770 which is now 1473.  I told my ID about this and he did some education with him but he and the staff at the office are smug and condescending. I went to ER once and happened to test positive for cocaine.  My ID was very understanding and I haven't used since. I'm sure the PCP office will even think less of me. I went today for shortness of breath and was given meds. A smile but not sincere.  Maybe I am paranoid but I tend to be intuitive and really think they would like nothing better than for me to find another PCP group

Anybody else experience this before?

[Ptrk3]

I have not had your unfortunate experience, but, if you are not comfortable with your primary care physician, even if you have been seeing him for 30 years, review your insurance policy capabilities (HMO, PPO) and consider finding another. 

Perhaps your infectious disease doctor could recommend someone or a practice to you.

[RossH]

I know I should change. I just can't believe healthcare professionals can be so condescending. I am a retired RN and graduated the same time my PCP did. We used to work together at the hospital. Here's the clincher in my 30s he used to come onto on to me. Sit and stare at my crotch while he talked to me in the office.  Once I got a hard on while he was checking for a hernia. He just stared with a stupid grin and frowned when it started to go done.  Idiot should have said just suck it! But I'm shy and wouldn't have. Now I would!

Thanks for caring

[mecch]

Ah, hello. Obviously your doctor has baggage and you need a new one. Are you stuck with him for some reason? 

[RossH]

I'm not stuck with him but the other 2 doctors in the practice have the same attitude. I assume the other doctors in town that are competent may be the same way. I'll certainly start looking but it seems unfair.  But then life isn't fair is it after all. Just call me Blanch Dubious. The older I get the more I realize I am her. I have a hard time with changes. This illess has been such a shock. All the years of boyfriends and anonymous lovers since 1977 and then get HIV at 61.  Ironic. Yes mecch I'll look for a new doctor. 

[mecch]

This is off topic, but do you know more or less the year you were infected? Was it this year, year of diagnosis?

By the way, my GP was a bit gruff when I seroconverted at about 45 yo. But then he got over it. His nurse was even more taken aback but then she got over it too.

Also I don't discount that I was sensitive my first year or two positive, kind of looking for or fearing slights that may or may not have been there.

Still, I didn't like what you said about him coming onto you so whether he is judging you now or not, that previous experience is in my opinion enough to flee.

[harleymc]

You want sincerity of a smile? Is that what this is about?

I've had ups and downs with healthcare workers, oddly enough so many of them have lousy people skills. When they do something less than appropriate, call them out in a polite but assertive manner. Some of them have no idea, but the good ones will learn.

No one will learn if you just change doctors, and you may have the same problem at the new clinic.

[RossH]

Mecch I don't know when I was infected. Initially I thought it was Oct 2015 but now I'm not sure. I was having night sweats off and on for 2 years before that but usually only if I had had too much alcohol the same night. My ID doctor said there was no way to tell really.

[mecch]

This illess has been such a shock. All the years of boyfriends and anonymous lovers since 1977 and then get HIV at 61.  Ironic.

I asked if you knew a ballpark date for infection because I was wanted to respond to this info you gave. 

You only know your negative status as of the last date you had an HIV test. 

I got HIV tests at least twice a year since they were available. Went through my romantic years and my slutty years, all HIV-.   Got infected in 2008.   I guess its "ironic" like you say, but I dunno.  I was experimenting with unsafe sex in 2007 but then I was back on the safe sex in 2008 but obviously I screwed up even though I was never able to identify (or remember?) exactly what the act was.  I got diagnosed in mid sero-conversion.

I hope you get over the shock of diagnosis soon enough. For many of us, it does take time.   Take some solace in that it's sort of a cake walk for the treatment and follow-up nowadays.

[RossH]

I really only was involved in oral sex after 1986 until 2011. I tested neg in 1986 No risky sex at all from 1986 to 1998. Occasional oral sex after that. I started having really high risk sex in 2011 which was unsafe with a demographic that has a high rate of infection. I was playing with fire but didn't remember much of it. I tested neg for all other STDs in the work-up the ID did and the copies of the virus I have are not resistant to any medications. I should be thankful for that.  I suppose it's time to stop wallowing in self pity and get on with it. I don't have much of a support system which makes it harder though. This forum helps a lot