48 million viral load during acute hiv with fever and moderate flu like illness

[gpapadop91]

Hey there.
I'm with you
Infected by a transgender while she came and a small drop fell into my eye. Reading and asking on some other forum here I was told because of air inactive hiv will not infect me.
So after 3 weeks , seroconversion illness.
Also diagnosed with  with past CMV illness with IgG antibodies.

Generally last 10 years I had small low white blood cell count

So when diagnosed I had 48millions viral load VL
Also 170 cd4
Cd4/cd8 ratio of = 0.4

My doctor does not talk to me too much. He tells me I'm anxious. This is not reason to not tell me what, how, etc....
Anyways

I started ART at 40 days after infection.
Today I gave sample to measure again my cd4 and viral load after a month of initiation of art.

Also Yesterday I had vaccination for covid.
I also read that vaccinations may increase viral load.
Also increased viral load is factor of drug resistance.
Doctor also told me it's very huge number my viral load but it was peak due to peak acute phase also my cd4 was low because generally I had low WBC so it's normal in acute phase to see a dive in cd4 number

I read everywhere and I think these.:
Low cd4/cd8 means difficult to recover cd4s
High viral load (mine , although in acute phase was huge HUGE) treated or untreated progress to AIDS fast.

Finally my questions are.

Did you see again so high viral load?
Was mistake to risk having covid vaccination now that viral load is not known if suppressed well or not???
Should my doctor tell me?
Should I expect to live 3-5 years or more with so huge VL???

Please relief my pain in soul. I will not suicide, so don't tell me lies!!! I just want to know to take care better of my health.

Need your understanding and support my brothers.
Should Expect to live more years because new drugs are highly active???

I am 35
Thanks

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Sorry to hear about the diagnosis and the low CD4 count & CMV.

Understand you started HIV treatment some 40 days ago, and today they took blood to see if it's begun to suppress the virus.  Have you been provided antibiotics considering the low CD4?

1) Did you see again so high viral load?
2) Was mistake to risk having covid vaccination now that viral load is not known if suppressed well or not???
3) Should my doctor tell me?
4) Should I expect to live 3-5 years or more with so huge VL???

1) VL in the millions sure, mine was at some stage.
2) No
3) They should recommend the vaccine
4) You could live for another 50 or 60 years, your 35 now. Depends on what happens in your life but don't smoke, eat healthly and exercise if you want to live healthier and perhaps longer, and considering you are living with HIV take your meds.

I also read that vaccinations may increase viral load.
Also increased viral load is factor of drug resistance.

Resitance does not happen from just a single blip in viral load when starting out or ever to be honest and you are on treatment now.

Doctor also told me it's very huge number my viral load but it was peak due to peak acute phase also my cd4 was low because generally I had low WBC so it's normal in acute phase to see a dive in cd4 number

That's a presumption, could be late phase, there is no way to really tell from those labs.

Reading and asking on some other forum here I was told because of air inactive hiv will not infect me.

Not sure what other forum you mean, but if they told you that it's part of the reason why it's not an HIV risk.

You did not acquire HIV this way, let that be clear but were not going to focus on that and we don't care how you actually acquired HIV, you are here now and we will support you.

Best, Jim

[gpapadop91]

Jim thanks for your answers.
I really appreciate this.

Let me be more clear!!

I was negative always. Until April with tests.
Even when diagnosed , I was negative in antibody tests.

I started ART 40days after infection.

Also it was very acute phase , not long stage.

Reading about this other forum , I don't have reason to tell lies.
My doctor told me a person like me with such high viral load can infect anyone with VL 48 millions. Not 4.8 , but 48 millions. I could infect anyone with a drop into eye.

All condoms checked after , they were intact.

Please tell the world , even Dr Hook told this. Semen in eye should prescribed Pep.
But asking in the forum , users told me no need.

However a high viral load as hers infected me because I also didn't clean my eye immediately and it was irritated.

Anyways. This is past now.

Jim or any other please here ....
Did you ever see again 48-49 millions?
Will I suppress it???


I read this in a study of 2018.

Treated or untreated high viral load (100.000-500.000) indicates faster illness progression and/or related illnesses and cancers leading to cormobidities or death.

I'm 35.
Should I expect to plan my death from now ? I mean to give everything to my child , to prepare my wife and my parents according to my HUGE viral load 49 millions???

2. Does huge VL means my body doesn't fight well so , strong cancers will come fast and soon?

Thanks in Advance!!!

My only hope is the new broadly neutralising antibodies or gene therapies or mran hiv vaccines , if I don't have until this time any bad cancer!!!!
Should we expect a cure until 2025?

[Jim Allen]

I was negative always. Until April with tests.
Even when diagnosed , I was negative in antibody tests.

Let me be very clear and final on this 

You acquired HIV most likely after Jan/Feb then, but you did not acquire HIV the way you think. (Edit to add, another reason why I say this is I have now checked and read your post from back in May on the other website!)

Now move on because we're not going to focus on that and you don't want me to start poking holes in your story as there are already. To be clear we don't care how you actually acquired HIV, you are here now and we will support you.

Will I suppress it???

Yes, with treatment.

I am sure your VL will already be lower when you get the latest results in and give it time to work.
What ART are you taking BTW?

Should I expect to plan my death from now ? I mean to give everything to my child , to prepare my wife and my parents according to my HUGE viral load 49 millions???

2. Does huge VL means my body doesn't fight well so , strong cancers will come fast and soon?

No, you don't have to start planning and preparing your wife & child for your death soon because of your HIV status, and there are plenty of members here with far worse results than your who are doing just fine today.

The low CD4 counts mean you are at an increased risk for certain OI's and cancer, however, once the viral load reduces and the body can "heal" the CD4 counts should also increase again with time. Once the VL is suppressed and it will be the CD4 count become somewhat less relevant. That said plenty of people still have low CD4 counts and are perfectly healthy.

As a group we are prone to certain conditions more frequently or sooner in life, that does not mean it will be an issue for you and you will see your doctor or clinic during check-ups to monitor things and treat any issue early.

Should we expect a cure until 2025?

Well, you are going to see very different options on the "cure" topic, just search the forums, 100's of threads going back since this version started in 2006.

Now, going back decades there was always some new promise or cure around the corner or new breakthrough that did not work out. My point of view is if I was a mouse or a petri-dish I would have had 100's of cures by now from the past 20 years, sadly although it is scientifically very interesting it's never resulted in something that could be rolled out to the community living with HIV.

My thoughts are given how HIV works and even recently was found in various new cells types that we are only just learning about a cure will not happen within my lifetime, although better treatments and perhaps long term suppression would I feel be possible.

[gpapadop91]

Thanks for your support...don't lose hope...
Your re young enough. We will have it
Of course not soon.
But mayybe In 5-10-15 years if I don't have cancer until then....

I started Descovy + Isentress because I have 1 and 25% kidneys , working 90% and 10%.


I hope Isentress , an integrase inhibitor will do the job.

But you really feel I will be undetectable even with started 50 millions?

Also, should I be optimistic I will not have cancer soon???
I mean next 5-10 years???
Should I expect to enjoy a bit more my son???

What about vaccinations? Can I have an hpv vaccination?

Last question!
So you think even if you think that I had from February (I know my exposure it was 28April) , that it progresed to AIDS late stage In 2-3 months??
So again same question...
Should I expect to live 2-3 years or 20-30?
Really , honestly

[Jim Allen]

But you really feel I will be undetectable even with started 50 millions?

Yeah, sure. Keep taking the meds and within 6 months it should at least be 90%+ reduced and if not there are other treatment options.

Now you will see posts from other people reaching suppressed, UD, undetectable with a few weeks and others take a year.  Don't let it get to you as it's not a race.

Now asides from keeping HIV suppressed so it can't do unchallenged damage to you, the other good thing is once you have achieved an undetectable viral load* for at least 6 months, you can't sexually pass on HIV to your wife & other partners.

This is also known as Undetectable = Untransmittable (U=U)
* https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=71864.0

Also, should I be optimistic I will not have cancer soon???

I don't know what your risks are for cancer. If your only concern is just HIV then I see no reason to start expecting cancer soon.

Should I expect to enjoy a bit more my son???

Like I said you could live for the next 50-60 years, you could also be run over by a bus tomorrow. HIV is not an automatic death sentence or short life span, treat it and look after yourself to live a healthier and longer life if you want.

What about vaccinations? Can I have an hpv vaccination?

HPV depends, certain nations still limit it to lower ages, but talk to your doctor. Vaccines, in general, there are plenty of vaccines recommended. Your doctor would not do them all at once mind you and some of them will wait for your CD4 counts to be higher.

https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/adults/rec-vac/health-conditions/hiv.html

[gpapadop91]

Jim , and all here.
You are my brothers.
I am a member of you.
Jim you relaxed me a lot.
My doctor answered me now.
IT WILL NOT PROGRESS TO AIDS. YOU STARTED TREATMENT DURING ACUTE INFECTION WHICH IS THE BEST SCENARIO"

In 2 weeks I have meeting with professor of hematology in university of doctors school. I will ask everything why I have so low WBC and I will provide all information here.

Greetings
Good night

Also Jim , when time , please answer about Oxfords new trial!
What do you see?
mRNAs?

God bless you all.

[Jim Allen]

IT WILL NOT PROGRESS TO AIDS.

Depending on your definition it's already late-stage or AIDS but with treatment, the viral load will suppress. Relax and your WBC could have been low from the HIV infection or any number of things, give your immune system time and keep working with your doctor.

please answer about Oxfords new trial!
What do you see?
mRNAs?

That's HIV-CORE 0052, HIVconsvX vaccine. My thoughts, well if I was a petri-dish I would be ecstatic, but until it gets to phase 3 I no longer even get interested in these things.

https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=75397.msg

[leatherman]

a small personal story to support what Jim has told you:
in the late 90s when, unlike today, there were few meds and almost all had side effects, I was hospitalized with AIDS at age 36 with a viral load in the millions and only 5 cd4s. It's been 37 years now since I was infected (and 29 yrs on meds), I'm getting close to turning 60,  I've been undetectable for decades, my cd4s are near 500, and I could not be happier or healthier.....all thanks to staying adherent to HIV medications. No cancers, no issues, and if my Grandmother is any example as she is within a month of turning 104, I'm expecting to not only live these 25 yrs since that hospitalization but I'm expecting I may have another 40 years on top of that.

Oxfords new trial

one last word of advice: don't get hung up on wishing for a "cure". Today's meds are quick and easy to take with few to no side effects and very effective at suppressing HIV. I take a few pills every morning and get on with my life not thinking about HIV these days....and you'll get to that point too in the not too distant future if you stay adherent to daily meds.

As far as the Oxford trial, the med they are currently researching is designed as a vaccine ... a preventative. Unfortunately, we are already HIV positive so a vaccine might not do anything for us. Of course, these vaccines are also considered for whether they could be a "therapeutic vaccine", which means it might suppress HIV for the long-term (months to years).

Once infected and then treated, HIV decreases but doesn't completely go away. Tiny bits remain in our bodies but dormant. That's why we take meds daily - to suppress any of this remaining HIV that becomes active. Until a complete cure is created, HIV positive people will need to remain on some type of medications, whether it be daily or (coming soon) a long term injection that lasts for months at a time.

Even though I tested positive a long time ago, I remember those scary first days/years. But this isn't 1992 anymore with only one medication. It's been nearly 3 decades and the science has rapidly expanded and improved. Take your meds daily, try to live and eat healthier, reduce stress, exercise, and make plans on living as long as you would have if you didn't have HIV - because that's the actual outcome for treatment.

[gpapadop91]

Τhanks all of you...
You really support my mental health in this stage.

My concerns are two
- my one kidney only works (90-95% and the other one helps only 10-5%)
How long can I leave with these medications?
I am lucky to have TAF instead of TDF , still not totally innocent for body and kidney when accompanied by emcitritabine

- Latent, dormant CMV that I have,
, Won't wake or start some kind of cancers?

- I accept all your statements.
But I read on aidsmap that VIRAL SET POINT BIGGER TO 10000 , MEANS 8 YEARS SHORTER LIFESPAN
I also have latent CMV, this kidney problem and cancer Donna giving from family..

Should I expect with 50 millions before treatment initiation to live at least until 60 to see see a grand child???

Good morning for all you brothers

[Jim Allen]

Dormant CMV...

Look in some regions of the world like the US, half the adult population has it. Stop stressing about nothing and things that aren't currently an issue and might never be. 

But I read on aidsmap that VIRAL SET POINT BIGGER TO 10000 , MEANS 8 YEARS SHORTER LIFESPAN

Sure it's one study and within that group of high viral load, it's often late diagnosis (AIDS) and people with multiple of other conditions, OI's and co-mobilities like drug usage and alcohol abuse etc.

Also, with these studies it's often just averages taken from the past years, lots have changed including the treatment compared to past groups, it's also not an individual forecast, although, 8 years less I'll take it. 

The average lifespan here has passed 83 years for a man, take 8 away it's still better than dying right now! Btw, going forward always include links to studies etc, thanks.

How long can I leave with these medications?

Decades, and it's not even needed. HIV medication keeps improving so it's not like you will need or have to take your current meds for that long. Also, you will get regular checks to make sure things are fine including kidney function etc.

Look, I've put plenty of easy to digest references and information in the "Just tested positive" welcome thread, I also added things about starting treatment early and life expectancy etc. It' might be useful to have a look https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=2276.0

However, don't get focused on these topics.

[Bucklandbury]

I got an AIDS diagnosis in mid-March. I am pulling for you, buddy! Take your ARV med(s), get on an antibiotic for sure for now since your CD4 count is under 200, and go see your doctor as ordered. Good luck!

[Tonny2]

       ojo.         Who remembers the dx FULL BLOWN AIDS?. And now, •acute hiv infection”, …@OP, you are going to be fine, there are a lot of members on here who have gone through the same. The formula to get a successful treatment is, DISCIPLINE taking your med/s and a positive ATTITUDE…good luck and please keep us posted, we are here for you…ah!, stay away from doctor google and take care of yourself until you get better number of soldiers

[gpapadop91]

However, don't get focused on these topics.

It's not that easy Jim. Thanks for your kind support. It's good for me now.

I am one month and ten days on arvs.
I start feeling I diggest illness, but really, sometimes I search all the time this in Google.

Why? Because I have this kidney problem. Next week I have ultrasonic and some specific tests for kidney.

I feel happy that I don't need to take TDF tenofovir , but even emtricitabine which is in Descovy is a non-issue for Kidneys.

Many mornings, I wake up because bslight pains in kidney that's why I have all rest day stressed and some sadness.

Can I hope for safer a bit meds for hiv in future? Ok, I stop thinking about cure.
But some safer meds for kidney???
Is any doctor here knowing something related ??


Jim yes, next times I will post links and pics.
I formatted my phone so I will find only pic in screenshot in Google photos. I mean this about life expectancy Bye guys

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

The Descovy combination pill contains tenofovir alafenamide (TAF) and emtricitabine, it's considered kinder on the kidneys than its predecessor (TDF).

However, it's not a conclusion that kidney function will be an issue as a result of TDF or TAF for everyone taking the meds. That's simply not the case, although it can be, thankfully this is included in monitoring so they can switch or change your meds should there be any concerns. 

There are also living donor HIV-​to-HIV kidney transplants nowadays and the people living with HIV with only one kidney go on taking their meds and living their lives.

Look talk to your doctor about your kidney concerns and the TAF,  see what they say and what the latest measurements are.  A good idea is to write some of the questions down on paper, so next time you see your HIV doctor you don't forget to ask or express a concern that you have.

Many mornings, I wake up because bslight pains in kidney

So I don't know if the pain is a new issue or a change for you but talk to your doctor sooner if you are in discomfort.

Best, Jim

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/taf-versus-tdf-difference
https://www.aidsmap.com/about-hiv/chronic-kidney-disease-and-hiv
https://www.poz.com/article/descovy-prep-works-equally-may-safer-kidneys-bones
https://www.aidsmap.com/news/aug-2020/kidney-transplant-between-people-hiv-safe-says-us-study

[gpapadop91]

I got an AIDS diagnosis in mid-March. I am pulling for you, buddy! Take your ARV med(s), get on an antibiotic for sure for now since your CD4 count is under 200, and go see your doctor as ordered. Good luck!

My doctor asked what lymphocytes I had normal before illness.
He told me is normal a dive to half or to 1/3 of cd4 in acute phase, that's why he didn't give me protection pills for opportunistic because anyways I have low cd4.

But next week I have meeting with hematologist to search and find for what reasons my body didn't create enough WBC generally.

I will provide you with all information.

She is the best, she is professor of hematology in Athens Doctors School in Greece.
I hope she will be able to help ...

Guys, is it so bad to love trans women, so to pay with our lives, psychology, pills ,stigma??
I have many friends meeting shemales and we only kid with each other. But if you get the virus then you are stigmatized....

Life is slut and being fucked... My teacher in secondary school told , when he lost his daughter from head cancer...

Anyways..
The positives now.
Jim and all you help me to forget a bit ..

So , tomorrow my new girlfriend arrives from Ukraine , we will go for holidays five days to Greek islands... I am happy...
But I'm not happy I cannot have free sex with her....
Can she give me oral without ejaculation with safety??

Final question.
I had hpv 10 years ago..in penis.
Now I'm afraid that being hiv positive , if I give her oral and she has hpv , maybe I can get it in my throat?

Can I have vaccination for hpv in my age35-36???
Even thinking that I had some hpvs warts in decade past. Can I have for further protection from the rest types of hpv that the vaccination will cover???

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Look, please refrain from using the term "shemale" - Thanks.

Can she give me oral without ejaculation with safety??

Look giving a blowjob is a risk, a minute HIV one considering the barriers but it's not totally risk-free.

I had hpv 10 years ago..in penis.
Now I'm afraid that being hiv positive , if I give her oral and she has hpv , maybe I can get it in my throat?

There is no such thing as risk-free sex. There are STI's that can be passed onto you in the throat, you can also use a dental dam to reduce the risks.

Can I have vaccination for hpv in my age35-36???
Even thinking that I had some hpvs warts in decade past. Can I have for further protection from the rest types of hpv that the vaccination will cover???

HPV vaccine depends, certain nations still limit it to lower ages, but talk to your doctor in Greece.

https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd/hpv/hcp/recommendations.html
https://www.poz.com/article/hpv-vaccine-gardasil-effective-people-hiv-age-27

[Jim Allen]

So do I understand correctly you are no longer with your wife & child but the new girlfriend?

Well, whatever the case, keep in mind once you have achieved an undetectable viral load* for at least 6 months, you can't sexually pass on HIV to your wife & other partners. This is also known as Undetectable = Untransmittable (U=U)
* https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=71864.0

Until then condoms & PrEP would be something for them to consider to reduce their HIV risks if you are having sexual contact.

[gpapadop91]

I am with my family.
I'm sorry 🥺 but all my ancestors were naughty.
And we all had older women.
And my son shows signs of being much sexyally attracted from now.

Jim, friends, don't judge me..
I cannot control when I see women with garters , well shaped etc.
So , Now that I believe I will not live a long (only all you make me feel better) I found woman in tinder for holidays for vacation for week.

But I am good person, I don't want to infect noone.
I don't know where I will hide my pills.
If she asks me.
Maybe I put on fat burner box pills,

This makes me happy..regenerates me a new woman, with good feelings of falling in love etc...
I feel I forget.... hiv.
It makes me avoid bad thoughts like suicide that I had in first weeks of diagnosis.

My wife knows... She accepts to live with what makes me happy.. I adore her .. she kept me alive...
But she knows this makes me forget stress and she loves me and I appreciate this.
If I hadn't my wife I would suicide.

But new girl for nice moments makes me happy , forget , relax ...now , wife is with son in her parent's home for month for vacation in forest with cold climate...so I can leave and do naughty vacation..
Anyways.
Just because you asked me.

Only I am worried if my son some day finds my toothbrush and he is infected from me... I hope air kills virus so he will not be infected....

[Jim Allen]

Hiya.

Your son is not going to get HIV from day to day contact with you or household objects you have touched or used.

I'm glad to hear your wife is supportive. Not too sure what to say about hiding your meds from the GF. I tell people about my HIV status so I've never had to hide them but I am sure your GF will not be going through your stuff, I would find that strange at least but if you want to further hide your meds in another container I am sure you will manage.

If you keep having thoughts of suicide though do talk to your doctor about this, you are not alone and there is support. It's also important for them to know so they can consider what HIV meds you are getting etc.

Jim

[gpapadop91]

I love you all here ❤️ for support...
I saw yesterday an Irish Dance from girls...
Amazing...
I love traveling.
I haven't yet been in Ireland.

How can I travel within Europe with my meds??
Also Jim what about traveling generally abroad until injection monthly drugs arrive in Greece?

I want to go to Singapore and watch F1 grand Prix.
How can I go?
I read that they don't accept positives.

What a stigma.. and it's just a virus and controlled chronic illness...
Wtf?

[Jim Allen]

Pre-covid I travelled 4-5 times per year at least within the EU, I always kept my meds in my hand luggage in their original packaging and was never asked or questioned about it. I did always carry a letter from my GP stating that the meds are for personal use and treatment of a manageable condition should I ever be asked.

The only time I was asked about it was in the US and that was my own fault as I had the bottle in my fleece/jacket pocket at the time, and it did not become an issue either, was silly of me to fiddle with things in my pocket at customs and I should have kept it in my hand luggage.

I want to go to Singapore and watch F1 grand Prix.
How can I go?
I read that they don't accept positives.

As far as I am aware short term stays are not a problem.

https://www.hivtravel.org/Default.aspx?PageId=143&Mode=list&FullSearch=singapore

https://afa.org.sg/law-and-hiv-in-singapore/

[gpapadop91]

Jim... Thanks for everything.

Can you share with me some information?
When is best time for visiting Ireland so I can watch live festivals and local culture tradition like this https://youtu.be/uFQJ2sLKN8s
I really now saw my life differently. I wanna see as much as I can before I go to above sky.

Finally I am sorry about term shemale. I didn't know is bad , sorry. What is the best word to refer to? Trans woman?

See you all there.
Hope God keep us alive...

I also asked in previous message, should I wait soon better treatment for kidney perspective? I mean injections or sth else??
Thanks.
Good night guys

[Jim Allen]

When is best time for visiting Ireland so I can watch live festivals and local culture tradition like this https://youtu.be/uFQJ2sLKN8s
I really now saw my life differently. I wanna see as much as I can before I go to above sky.

April to Sept. It will rain but at least it will be wet and warm instead of wet and cold.

Although, if you ask me forget about that dancing nonsense - It's a bit like visiting Greece and hanging out in Athans all day and if that's what you're into then it's fine of course.

The best places to visit and explore in Ireland are more remote or smaller towns, places like Malin Beg and that somewhat touristic already.

I also asked in previous message, should I wait soon better treatment for kidney perspective? I mean injections or sth else??
Thanks.
Good night guys

HIV Treatment, as explained, is fine and you need it now. Give yourself time to adjust to treatment and keep monitoring things with your doctor. No need to wait with treatment and should your current treatment cause any problems there are other combinations and there will be better treatments in years to come.

Finally I am sorry about term shemale. I didn't know is bad , sorry. What is the best word to refer to? Trans woman?

No need to apologize or at least not to me. We all can make mistakes or be unaware hence I mentioned it.
Anyhow, I know enough to know that terms like that are outdated.

http://www.basicrights.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Trans-Media-Reference.pdf
https://www.albertahealthservices.ca/assets/info/pf/div/if-pf-div-terms-and-phrases-to-avoid.pdf

[gpapadop91]

Hello Jim...good morning..
Thanks for answers ..I will have in mind.

I am wondering about sth very much...
I was found with 50millions and only 160cd4.

This is progressed aids or to be aids it also needs to have passed the acute phase, latent phase 2 and after some years??? Because I know I was on peak of my acute phase...
But if in acute phase I have so much like in late disease , does it mean my immune cannot fight nothing?

I am asking because if I had so big viral load, maybe it means easily hiv will destroy my left immune system, despite the use of art. So I will live shorter....
Is my thought true???

Please someone answer all my questions..
It's too early and I sometimes fall in stress situation with depression I think

Good morning all

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

I think you should have a read of "How do I know my treatment is working?" in this lesson https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/starting-hiv-treatment and also the welcome thread as it might be useful to have a look https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=2276.0

When is your next follow-up appointment with the HIV doctor/clinc?

I have so much like in late disease

This is progressed aids or to be aids it also needs to have passed the acute phase, latent phase 2 and after some years???

Generally there are 4 stages of HIV infection, but its a tad misleading as you can go skip stages going to stage 4 sooner.

Advanced HIV disease (AIDS) when being diagnosed most commonly (I think) would be defined as a CD4 cell count below 200 cells/μl or the presence of an AIDS-defining illness regardless of CD4 count.

In the USA, the CDC's definitions and stages are slightly different:

People receive an AIDS diagnosis when their CD4 cell count drops below 200 cells/mm, or if they develop certain opportunistic infections.

https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/whatishiv.html

In Ireland for reporting its defined as: -

CD4 cell count at HIV diagnosis can be an indication of how long a person has had HIV before being diagnosed. For surveillance purposes, late HIV diagnosis is defined as CD4 cell count less than 350 cells/µl or an AIDS defining illness at diagnosis.

Advanced HIV infection is defined as a CD4 count of less than 200 cells/µl or an AIDS defining illness at diagnosis.

https://www.hpsc.ie/a-z/hivandaids/

I am asking because if I had so big viral load, maybe it means easily hiv will destroy my left immune system, despite the use of art. So I will live shorter.... Is my thought true???

With CD4 count of less than 200 we tend to be more fundable/at risk to certain infections and complications.  However, you doctor could have prescribed antibiotics to reduce the risk of certain OI's ...

Anyhow, you have started ART and this start to stop HIV from continuing to do unchallenged damage. Within 6 months if all is going well at least 90% of the viral load will be suppressed already and your immune system will be given a break from fighting a pointless battel so it can focus on better things.

I had mentioned this before, and plenty of other members have jumped in on this with real world examples but if something is unclear let me know.

you don't have to start planning and preparing your wife & child for your death soon because of your HIV status, and there are plenty of members here with far worse results than your who are doing just fine today.

The low CD4 counts mean you are at an increased risk for certain OI's and cancer, however, once the viral load reduces and the body can "heal" the CD4 counts should also increase again with time. Once the VL is suppressed and it will be the CD4 count become somewhat less relevant. That said plenty of people still have low CD4 counts and are perfectly healthy.

As a group we are prone to certain conditions more frequently or sooner in life, that does not mean it will be an issue for you and you will see your doctor or clinic during check-ups to monitor things and treat any issue early.

You could live for another 50 or 60 years, your 35 now. Depends on what happens in your life but don't smoke, eat healthy and exercise if you want to live healthier and perhaps longer, and considering you are living with HIV take your meds.

Like I said you could live for the next 50-60 years, you could also be run over by a bus tomorrow. HIV is not an automatic death sentence or short life span, treat it and look after yourself to live a healthier and longer life if you want.

Look, I've put plenty of easy to digest references and information in the "Just tested positive" welcome thread, I also added things about starting treatment early and life expectancy etc. It' might be useful to have a look https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=2276.0

       ojo.         Who remembers the dx FULL BLOWN AIDS?. And now, •acute hiv infection”, …@OP, you are going to be fine, there are a lot of members on here who have gone through the same. The formula to get a successful treatment is, DISCIPLINE taking your med/s and a positive ATTITUDE…good luck and please keep us posted, we are here for you…ah!, stay away from doctor google and take care of yourself until you get better number of soldiers

a small personal story to support what Jim has told you:
in the late 90s when, unlike today, there were few meds and almost all had side effects, I was hospitalized with AIDS at age 36 with a viral load in the millions and only 5 cd4s. It's been 37 years now since I was infected (and 29 yrs on meds), I'm getting close to turning 60,  I've been undetectable for decades, my cd4s are near 500, and I could not be happier or healthier.....all thanks to staying adherent to HIV medications. No cancers, no issues, and if my Grandmother is any example as she is within a month of turning 104, I'm expecting to not only live these 25 yrs since that hospitalization but I'm expecting I may have another 40 years on top of that.
one last word of advice: don't get hung up on wishing for a "cure". Today's meds are quick and easy to take with few to no side effects and very effective at suppressing HIV. I take a few pills every morning and get on with my life not thinking about HIV these days....and you'll get to that point too in the not too distant future if you stay adherent to daily meds.

As far as the Oxford trial, the med they are currently researching is designed as a vaccine ... a preventative. Unfortunately, we are already HIV positive so a vaccine might not do anything for us. Of course, these vaccines are also considered for whether they could be a "therapeutic vaccine", which means it might suppress HIV for the long-term (months to years).

Once infected and then treated, HIV decreases but doesn't completely go away. Tiny bits remain in our bodies but dormant. That's why we take meds daily - to suppress any of this remaining HIV that becomes active. Until a complete cure is created, HIV positive people will need to remain on some type of medications, whether it be daily or (coming soon) a long term injection that lasts for months at a time.

Even though I tested positive a long time ago, I remember those scary first days/years. But this isn't 1992 anymore with only one medication. It's been nearly 3 decades and the science has rapidly expanded and improved. Take your meds daily, try to live and eat healthier, reduce stress, exercise, and make plans on living as long as you would have if you didn't have HIV - because that's the actual outcome for treatment.

[Jim Allen]

Just to add, don't focus too much on definitions etc., It's relatively pointless, so instead, just see your first results as a starting point and now you are on meds your follow-up appointments will show the trend. The journey and trend in your labs over the upcoming months/year of starting to suppress the virus are much more important.

BTW - When was your next follow-up appointment with the HIV doctor/clinc?

[gpapadop91]

Hello Jim , I'm sorry for the late response .. today I return to Athens from holidays.
Yesterday , I slept at 5am.
Is it very bad for immune to stay late ?? Because we woke up at 10 to leave room empty...
I read we, positivs, should sleep early and not hangover...
This happens even when in ART???

My question to my previous message Jim and bros , is that I'm afraid, that if my body could not control within normal limits the virus during acute hiv, it means for me , that when we will have more long lasting treatments etc, my body will not be able to control virus and suppress it without art even for a month for example...
Is this correct??? My thinking I mean.....

Something more.
I have some sore , bit not painful, just like scratched with a removed top layer of skin inside the cheek low at the level of teeth...
Is it means my body doesn't work correctly?
Or is it usual?

I am so scared guys...
I cannot enjoy my life .
The Girlfriend is angry on me because today she stays last night in Athens, she wants clubbing, but we did it yesterday and I will not do for second day immediately...and I cannot tell her the reason.
Also , you have to know I protected her... Third day ste started and tried to put my penis inside her without condom. And she told I am boring that I didn't get into her without protection...
All men don't without protection.
And now I am worry that I may have taken some sti on my skin...

Anyways.
Hope you good health my friends

[gpapadop91]

Also ten days ago I had blood sample for month after start of treatment.
I will have results this coming week.
I will inform you.
I hope my cd4 250-300
And HIv level 5-10 million

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

I slept at 5am.
Is it very bad for immune to stay late ?? Because we woke up at 10 to leave room empty...
I read we, positivs, should sleep early and not hangover...

Lack of sleep is not good for anyone, however have the odd night or few night of less sleep happens, that's life and normal. As for the hangover, drinking excessively is not great of anyone.

My question to my previous message Jim and bros , is that I'm afraid, that if my body could not control within normal limits the virus during acute hiv, it means for me , that when we will have more long lasting treatments etc, my body will not be able to control virus and suppress it without art even for a month for example...
Is this correct??? My thinking I mean.....

No, it's not correct.

Your Viral load is not somehow special and ART will suppress & control the virus within 6 months most likely if not sooner, for now you will need to take your medication daily.

I'm not sure what you mean with stopping treatment for a month, don't do that because if you stop treatment the viral load will come back and how quickly depends on things like what the reservoir size is like etc.

Something more.
I have some sore , bit not painful, just like scratched with a removed top layer of skin inside the cheek low at the level of teeth...
Is it means my body doesn't work correctly?
Or is it usual?

No it means you need to see a doctor/dentist. This happens to HIV negative peers as well.

The Girlfriend is angry on me because today she stays last night in Athens, she wants clubbing, but we did it yesterday and I will not do for second day immediately...and I cannot tell her the reason.
Also , you have to know I protected her... Third day ste started and tried to put my penis inside her without condom. And she told I am boring that I didn't get into her without protection...
All men don't without protection.
And now I am worry that I may have taken some sti on my skin...

HIV does not stop you from going clubbing and as for STI's, well sex comes with risks. There is no such things as "safe" sex just safer sex. No need to panic every time you have sex though, just use condoms to reduce the risks from STI's and test out of routine at least yearly.
 
Jim 

[gpapadop91]

Ηello guys...

I am irrational or logical?

My girlfriend , now together for 1 year and a month..
She knows about my situation, she accepts my health issue and wanna continue with me..
But, in this phase of my life..
You know...
All time I read about Illness , I want to know about new treatments, start collecting every paper for some medical tests....also I have my job (should I afraid of losing my job due to hiv? I work in special forces. What about USA or UK? Do people with hiv lose their jobs due to this?) , I have second job and it's too early to go along her desired path...
She wants normal relationship with talking with me many times per day , she wants meetings...but this period I prefer my friends with whom I laugh a lot and I don't have to be sad... because many talks with her make me sad...
I explain I am not woman, so as a man I prefer more to be with friends , but not because I don't love her but because I want time to feel well and go for coffees with friends and also to rest more.....

Am I irrational or is normal that I haven't digested yet my illness, I have to manage everything...see doctors....etc related...

And she is now sad and crying because she decided to break up and go ther country Poland again back to her home...she cries because she will be alone there , only with friends and her brothers family...

I want to be with her , but now I need time for me... without stressful obligations, responsibilities and duties....

I am feeling like stressed from all this and with hiv I have to be and feel more free ... And I decide , or start deciding that I have to be with my wife only because she understood everything and doesn't stress me almost at all... So ?

Please help me because I feel sad when she calls me and complains all time because I am not with her..

I explain her she has right from her side but if she loses a lover she will have all her HEALTHY life ahead...she is only 26.
And in don't know with 160 cd4 how much I will live more...

So in front of my situation I cannot even accept that she wants something that will be opposite to my health...

She has to understand , correct or not?

[Jim Allen]

Is the girlfriend in Poland the same as the new girlfriend from Ukraine?

Anyhow, if you want to leave your wife and have a relationship with the GF that's up to you. I don't see why your HIV status would be an issue unless she does not want to be with someone who has a manageable condition.

Understand you work in the military, not sure if that's going to be a problem. I know 5-6 years ago there was reports of people living with HIV being laid off from the military in Greece.

is normal that I haven't digested yet my illness

Yeah, well it depends on the person but it can take time to digest the idea of living with HIV.

[gpapadop91]

As for girlfriend is about a year and I started sth with her when we almost divorced with wife. So I talked about Polish girl. Yes it will take me time to understand to continue my life like similar almost normal , but until then I need more my friends and my son... This girl cannot understand she has everything and I need special mental and medical care this period...
Correct??

But now , I needed some holidays with new girl to renew my mental and psychology...this girl from Ukraine. We went for holidays for 4 days, and yesterday she left to Ukraine back. It was fine, but we didn't greeting each other , because we argue when she saw cold behaviour from me when I stopped being her tool for making photos, buying meals and generally understanding that she used me only for holidays... Almost all women the same....

Ι κnow that case... It was in 2013.

I know also about a policeman with hepatitis B who fired, and then after lawyer of citizen took action, he was hired again but for office work...

Is HepB better than HIV?
Better...you know what I mean!!!

I don't know.
There is some social helping monthly income for plwh in Greece and I'm afraid to ask for it because they maybe then fire me.
And I'm not afraid of fire but for stigma...
All will know then and I will be sorry for my son's life after that...school social stigma etc...
I don't know what to do...

Bye friends..

[gpapadop91]

broken link removed

I read this .. I did some scrab with my finger only and after washing my hands , and seems to be removed..it's mostly like scrubbed skin , but also I have one more patch only in the upper mouth between bcheek and gum which seems to be removed after scrubbing with my finger...

So it seems more as thrush....
I am 3 months infected , 1,5 month on art.
Tomorrow I will know if I have more WBC or same as before...

So , should I worry a lot?
I read on some article that oral hairy leukoplakia maybe a precancerous oral manifestation..

Please a bit help...

I am again getting paranoid...

I cannot live like this...all time worrying about next opportunistic infections or cancer....

Ouff....

[gpapadop91]

Like in picture but one only in the upper mouth and more in the lower mouth between cheek and gums...

https://geekymedics.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Acute-pseudomembranous-candidiasis.jpg

[leatherman]

which seems to be removed after scrubbing with my finger...

So it seems more as thrush

So , should I worry a lot?
I read on some article that oral hairy leukoplakia maybe a precancerous oral manifestation..


I am again getting paranoid...

with a cd4 count under 200 you very well could be susceptible to thrush. Thrush is very common at all ages from a lot of reasons; but especially when someone has a weakened immune system - and it's very treatable. You'll need to get a doctor to check it out.

there's nothing wrong with worrying about your situation. Recently diagnosed and bad counts - that's a mental, emotional and physical unexpected interruption in your life and sure to cause distress. But notice I wrote "interruption". Not the end of your life, just an interruption until you get the virus and any current side issues under control.

however, even though you shouldn't worry too much now that you're on medications, you do need to worry about any issues you might have. But that doesn't mean hours of paranoid research on the internet. Instead talk to you doctor.

[gpapadop91]

First of all...you are my hope...thanks to you , all, I feel better many times after I read your messages...thank you for this

it's very treatable. You'll need to get a doctor to check it out.

should I expect it will leave itself without treatment??

Recently diagnosed and bad counts - that's a mental, emotional and physical unexpected interruption in your life and sure to cause distress. But notice I wrote "interruption". Not the end of your life, just an interruption until you get the virus and any current side issues under control.

I am so sorry because I feel so pessimistic about controlling these big amounts of millions ..
Also , I read 10' ago about this lenacapavir novel two times per year drug injected under the skin ...but when reading about side effects I read some kidney failure...
You see? I have everything bad...
Bad counts also one kidney .. still believing I can control the virus? And live for 20-30 more years..?
I lose my hope...
Today maybe I will know how much cd4 I had at 28 days after treatment...
Because I had 167 when diagnosed...not when started treatment.. because after diagnosis I started treatment after 2 weeks. So maybe I had much less cd4 when starting...

however, even though you shouldn't worry too much now that you're on medications, you do need to worry about any issues you might have

Issues? For example?

Anyways , I can only hope...
Because this is not life...having all the time OIs and feeling sad and etc....

Buy my friends

[gpapadop91]

At 28 days of treatment.

276 cd4
5600 WBC
Not yet viral load

But still cd4/cd8 , still 0,4 , which I read is bad because I have more chances for cancers and some specific infections

On diagnosis before treatment , I had

167 cd4
2800 WBC
48 million VL

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Again start providing links for things you are quoting or saying to have read.

Also , I read 10' ago about this lenacapavir novel two times per year drug injected under the skin ...but when reading about side effects I read some kidney failure...

The phase 2 study results for people with resistance who got a 6-month shot + daily ART or the small ongoing first-line treatment study?

Where did you read about some kidney failure?

As far as I have read, in one of the studies, there were some cases of lowered kidney function but these were more common in the bictegravir/emtricitabine/TAF comparison group. Not seeing any mention so far of kidney failure though and I don't see how it's an issue for you.

https://www.aidsmap.com/news/jul-2021/novel-twice-year-injected-drug-suppresses-multidrug-resistant-hiv-most-patients

https://www.aidsmap.com/news/jul-2021/twice-year-injected-drug-shows-promise-first-line-hiv-treatment

[Jim Allen]

At 28 days of treatment.

276 cd4
5600 WBC
Not yet viral load

But still cd4/cd8 , still 0,4 , which I read is bad because I have more chances for cancers and some specific infections

On diagnosis before treatment , I had

167 cd4
2800 WBC
48 million VL

The only result that really matters at the moment is the VL to know if the virus is starting to be suppressed and until your viral load is suppressed and you have had time to heal I would not expect any real improvements. The cd4/cd8 ratio may improve over time.

https://www.aidsmap.com/about-hiv/cd4cd8-ratio
https://www.poz.com/article/monitoring-health-viral-load-cd4
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6203616/

with a cd4 count under 200 you very well could be susceptible to thrush. Thrush is very common at all ages from a lot of reasons; but especially when someone has a weakened immune system - and it's very treatable. You'll need to get a doctor to check it out.

there's nothing wrong with worrying about your situation. Recently diagnosed and bad counts - that's a mental, emotional and physical unexpected interruption in your life and sure to cause distress. But notice I wrote "interruption". Not the end of your life, just an interruption until you get the virus and any current side issues under control.

however, even though you shouldn't worry too much now that you're on medications, you do need to worry about any issues you might have. But that doesn't mean hours of paranoid research on the internet. Instead talk to you doctor.

Fully agree with the above.

should I expect it will leave itself without treatment??

Thrush happens, see your doctor and treat it before it becomes an issue. This is a common enough issue even under HIV negative peers but with a lower CD4 count as a group we're are more prone to it.

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/candidiasis-thrush-yeast-infection

Because this is not life...having all the time OIs and feeling sad and etc....

Billions of people have health issues, thankfully, you can manage your HIV but it will take medication & time.  You will not have to be having OI's all the time. Meds will suppress the virus, your immune system will "heal" and things will be better. You might feel worse at first given as your immune system starts again and finds & fight things it had been ignoring or had been too weak to deal with but that stage will pass.

As for feeling sad, you have just been diagnosed so it's not uncommon to feel sad, scared, worried etc. Seek out support, talk to your doctors about how you are feeling and connect with local support groups and peers if possible.

As for girlfriend is about a year and I started sth with her when we almost divorced with wife. So I talked about Polish girl. Yes it will take me time to understand to continue my life like similar almost normal , but until then I need more my friends and my son... This girl cannot understand she has everything and I need special mental and medical care this period...
Correct??

I can't comment on the need for special medical or mental care. You and your doctor would need to determine if special care is needed.

Look if the girlfriends are not supportive or don't understand that digesting the diagnosis isn't easy or that you need time to get your head around it then perhaps they are not the best people to rely on for support during this time.

[gpapadop91]

Where did you read about some kidney failure?

As far as I have read, in one of the studies, there were some cases of lowered kidney function but these were more common in the bictegravir/emtricitabine/TAF comparison group. Not seeing any mention so far of kidney failure though and I don't see how it's an issue for you.

https://www.aidsmap.com/news/jul-2021/novel-twice-year-injected-drug-suppresses-multidrug-resistant-hiv-most-patients

https://www.aidsmap.com/news/jul-2021/twice-year-injected-drug-shows-promise-first-line-hiv-treatment

Yes, exactly these links...

""
There were some cases of lowered kidney function but these were more common in the bictegravir/emtricitabine/TAF comparison group.
""
This bictegravir/emc/TAF = the bictarvy, correct??

So I have to be afraid of switching to bictarvy ?

Because my doctor told me , that I maybe switch to bictarvy in six months that biktarvy will be available in Greece

I didn't understand this "but these were more common in the bictegravir/emtricitabine/TAF comparison group. ""

Does it mean who have injection of lenacapavir plus biktarvy???

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Because my doctor told me , that I maybe switch to bictarvy in six months that biktarvy will be available in Greece

I didn't understand this "but these were more common in the bictegravir/emtricitabine/TAF comparison group. ""

Does it mean who have injection of lenacapavir plus biktarvy???

25 people took bictegravir plus emtricitabine/tenofovir alafenamide. It's nothing for you to stress about just because someone within that group of that study had a somewhat lower kidney function on a drug you don't take and without even knowing their medical history...

If you switch, and that's an if, well you and your doctor will assess your kidney function at that time and concerns before selecting the best medication available and if that is Biktarvy you could be perfectly fine with that. This is why you will have check-ups to make sure things are going okay and if they are not and it's related to the meds they will find a different combination for you to try,

No point stressing about issues that have not happened and may not happen in regards to your meds.

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/hiv-kidneys

Try to focus less on "what ifs and maybe's". 

[daveR]

My Dr just switched me to Biktarvy to help my kidney function. Everything I read about it says it is fairly easy on the kidneys. I will find out in two months whether that is correct.

[gpapadop91]

Good morning there.

Even with a better (seem to..) immune now, I have this oral thrush for a week already today... Should I worry for some precancerous condition or is it something that will be resolve itself???

It's only 1-2 sq cms between cheek and gums ..
Should I go to dentist, stomatologist?
Or to my hiv clinic?

Maybe it's from ART?

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

The change in your CD4 count was only minor, it's barely above 200 now and your system is still recovering with an unsuppressed viral load.

The thrush needs attention from your doctor and treatment, no need for drama but treat it before it becomes a real issue.

Jim:

Thrush happens, see your doctor and treat it before it becomes an issue. This is a common enough issue even under HIV negative peers but with a lower CD4 count as a group we're are more prone to it.

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/candidiasis-thrush-yeast-infection

Leatherman:

with a cd4 count under 200 you very well could be susceptible to thrush. Thrush is very common at all ages from a lot of reasons; but especially when someone has a weakened immune system - and it's very treatable. You'll need to get a doctor to check it out.

[leatherman]

Or to my hiv clinic?

Maybe it's from ART?

Meds don't cause thrush, an unhealthy immune system does. You answered your own questions though - go to your doctor/HIV clinic. They've seen this situation thousands of time and they have got the experience to properly diagnose your issue and prescribe the right medication to treat it.

The thrush needs attention from your doctor and treatment, no need for drama but treat it before it becomes a real issue.

yep. I had thrush a number of times back in my early days living with HIV in the mid-90s since I was so very sick for so long. While none of the cases of thrush I had seemed too bad, the thrush that I couldn't see deep down in my esophagus left scar tissue that can cause me issues when swallowing....25 yrs later.


Of course, I'm not saying that you gpapadop91 will have the issues that I have had from thrush, but what I'm saying is that you need to go get that thrush diagnosed and treated so you don't have the issues I have.

[gpapadop91]

Hey thanks for answers, but doctors in hiv clinic saw this...
They told me it's looks like thrush but only minor and small in surface so check it if it gets bigger or not...
They didn't tell me something more... Just watch it...
So I don't trust with such answers.
And also you tell me to treat it before it goes wrong...you mean it can be cancer or what?

Yesterday , hematologist told me it's ok that I increase cd4 , need to follow my therapy consistently , and I will be better.
She told me maybe I will not have more than 4-500 or max 600 in the long run because anyways my immune , even before illness didn'take more than 5-700 cd4 s.

And count does not matter... People with more cd4 had more illnesses than some others with less....


So , with less cd4 should I expect to live shorter or what???

I'm starting worry of thrush.

Please leatherman.
I didn't understand.
After 25 years , untreated thrush caused problems to your easoohagus or you have. thrush for 25 years untreated and now it became thrush??

Ouf....
I feel so unsafe , so vulnerable to all illnesses, I'm so sad everyday...
Kidney
Thrush
Everything...

Can I expect with eating yougurts and by time to see more cd4s and treat this small thrush only by itself???
Or I have to take pills...?

[gpapadop91]

https://www.europeanpharmaceuticalreview.com/article/143332/the-current-and-future-landscape-of-hiv-treatments-and-vaccines/

Current HIV therapies
“The main focus of HIV treatment to date has been on antiretroviral therapy,” said Forkin. She explained that antiretroviral therapy does not cure HIV, but instead suppresses the virus and slows down its progression in the body, thereby preventing opportunistic infections and AIDS-related deaths

So this "slow down" means it's (ART) only makes the progression to AIDS slower, or can we really stop progression if we can suppress the virus to undetectable?

[Tonny2]

              ojo.     @gpapadop91…hi, if the doctor didn’t prescribe med for your thrush, you should be worried, as soon as your treatment starts kicking the virus butt, your thrush will go away.

If I may, don’t think about the future, what’s going to happen, nobody knows the future, if you were to get cancer or something else, then, you and your doctor will take care of it. Try to live the present, be discipline with your meds and try to be positive, you are going to be fine…good luck and please, keep us posted…hugs

[gpapadop91]

Love u all for your support , Jim too... I may put too much press with multiple questions... I need help, more mental...
I want to see my son succeeding his life and teaching him the very difficult life by supporting (not by pressing..) ,
I understand Jim who in my eyes seems a bit more stric with me (🤗🤗🤗 joking) but he wants to be realist. I don't hide you I search every week news about hiv cure treatment.
I hope , wish for this cure. Because that day I will sell 1 of two homes that I have to give half to people with helath and stigma problems and other half for partying with all you and my family...
Some times I am very disappointed by reading bad things like (almost same life expectancy but with far fewer healthy years...or Even suppressed virus by art however kidney damage has been associated with chronic inflammation...or I don't know if with art we succeed in stopping progression tonAIDS or are we going to have it for sure but a bit later...)....
And sometimes I feel well....
I don't know but it's unfair because of some sexyal behaviours to have this illness forever....it's real discrimination.

Do you really believe they don't want us in earth , that's why they can not/don't find the cure or is it really difficult???

I cannot believe with such technology and science improvement that they cannot find it fast and safe!!!!

With all this , I cannot enjoy my life... All the time I am afraid if I lose my job, if siblings learn this, if colleagues or friends learn about my status... because then I'm pretty sure they will marginalise me...
And most they will out in margin my son or generally my family...
What the f@@k?