Where to retire living with HIV.

[mitch777]

Many of us here are approaching that time to think about retirement or downsizing and I'm wondering if anyone is planning or at least thinking about moving to a different part of the country. I also know many don't either have many options or are content where they are so that being said, where would you like to move if you are so inclined and it meant downsizing out of necessity?

Everyone's plus and minus columns will be different. 

This is a short list of my concerns and wishes/needs.

Wishes/needs first:

1. Good quality healthcare.
2. Reasonable cost of living.
3. Less harsh winters.
4. An accepting community.
5. More services closer by. (that's not too hard considering where we live now)
6. A progressive thinking state.

Concerns:

1. Changing all of my doctors.
2. Leaving my friends.
3. Being able to adjust. (that would include my husband too)

I'm sure I missed a few things here as these are what just came off the top of my head.

If money were no object San Francisco would be the place for me.
 

[Jeff G]

We need a AMG retirement community ... one of those 55 + places that we can just all take over . 

[mitch777]

We need a AMG retirement community ... one of those 55 + places that we can just all take over .

There would be cats.

[Jeff G]

There would be cats.

Thats ok ... the dogs will need chew toys .

[Theyer]

What I want is enough money to life in differant places for parts off the year and enough health to fully realize where I am.

[mitch777]

Thats ok ... the dogs will need chew toys .

Can Betty give you a time out? 

[Jeff G]

Can Betty give you a time out? 

I wish somebody would ... go ahead and make my day LOL .

[Theyer]

Darlinks zee cats n dodz day just luuuvvvree each odder not eat each udder in zis Ghetto you plans.
I visit but no live, i vant der world.

[buginme2]

Palm Springs.

I love PS

Older yet vibrant gay community, good medical care, awesome weather..driving distance to LA, San Diego, Phoenix, and Las Vegas. 

[Jeff G]

Darlinks zee cats n dodz day just luuuvvvree each odder not eat each udder in zis Ghetto you plans.
I visit but no live, i vant der world.

I see you took the Dickens novel out of your mouth and replaced it with mein kampf . 

[Theyer]

Mitch ,are you not considering Scandinavia / Europe most off it has what you wish and are tri-linual at least . There Mother Tongue, English and American

[Theyer]

I see you took the Dickens novel out of your mouth and replaced it with mein kampf . 

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 and more niens to zee powers of 10, I AM HASSING A THREePENNY OPERA hour, oh weil.

[Theyer]

show me the way to the next whiskybar


or I shall Die.

I am having a blitzkrige mien kamp indeed. My FAther thought in thaat WAR Mother too, Jeeves the VALIUM>

[mitch777]

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 and more niens to zee powers of 10, I AM HASSING A THREePENNY OPERA hour, oh weil.

lol.

Mitch ,are you not considering Scandinavia / Europe most off it has what you wish and are tri-linual at least . There Mother Tongue, English and American

9.

Palm Springs.

I love PS

Older yet vibrant gay community, good medical care, awesome weather..driving distance to LA, San Diego, Phoenix, and Las Vegas. 

Funny, that's what I was thinking. Been there twice (in March) and loved it but wonder how well I would handle the heat.

[Theyer]

Thats right head west evan more expensive air fairs. Just open the dam B/B and have enough moolah to visit in the winter.

[mitch777]

Thats right head west evan more expensive air fairs. Just open the dam B/B and have enough moolah to visit in the winter.

Still cheaper than Hawaii. Hmmm...

[buginme2]

lol.

9.
Funny, that's what I was thinking. Been there twice (in March) and loved it but wonder how well I would handle the heat.

Not to mention the mid century modern architecture on some of the homes is absolutely gorgeous.

I really like that it has such a great gay community that isn't youth oriented.  That's hard to find.  The summers are.....toasty..your right about that. 

[Theyer]

Still cheaper than Hawaii. Hmmm...

Now that would be worth bashing the credit card for darling handsome witty Mitchell. xxxx

Still in 3p Opera whore mode.

[Almost2late]

I was thinking of this not long before my diagnoses and was leaning towards Portland, OR.(no sales tax) or Vancouver,WA.(no state tax)but now looking for cheaper area with warmer climate and I'm leaning to stay right here in Florida maybe Tampa/St.Pete, seen homes very cheap if you go a little north of the city and no state taxes.. Still haven't made up my mind, still gotta ways to go..I'm not gay but I am gay friendly  and here in Ft.Lauderdale/Miami is known for its gay communities but I think its too pricey.. get more for your money further north.

[mitch777]

Not to mention the mid century modern architecture on some of the homes is absolutely gorgeous.

I really like that it has such a great gay community that isn't youth oriented.  That's hard to find.  The summers are.....toasty..your right about that.

The home of the gays and the greys. And the grey gays.

The way I look at it is that I feel kinda stuck in the house here for several months of the year, the months would just switch. Not sure if that's good or bad but it seems to be a good mesh in other aspects.

Now that would be worth bashing the credit card for darling handsome witty Mitchell. xxxx

Still in 3p Opera whore mode.

 

[buginme2]

If money is no concern I would summer in Seattle or San Francisco and winter in Palm Springs

[Miss Philicia]

I've already moved to where I'm retiring, and I did this 10 years ago. I am five minutes by taxi to a great emergency room at Pennsylvania Hospital. They have all my info comfortably stored in their computers.

[skeebo1969]

   While I've grown to miss Massachusetts, i realized rather quickly that my bad knees cannot handle those harsh winters.  Clearwater, Florida is nice but I like the sprawl of Palm Harbor.  Home prices are reasonable too. 

[mecch]

Whats wrong with just pottering on in the place you already live?  i don't quite understand the need to go somewhere else, besides weather, of course, and reduced income making the place you live unaffordable. My big fear precisely.
That said I wouldn't mind a beautiful but not too chic coastal city like Marseilles or Toulon, Genoa, Palermo, Alexandria. 
Beach towns are nice, too. Any nice, relatively forgotten beach towns in the US? Preferably one on reasonably high ground. 

[GSOgymrat]

My first thought was Palm Springs but realistically I have no idea. I hate moving and would be happy to stay put.

[Jeff G]

I have moved and moved and moved . I'm staying put .

[WillyWump]

Philadelphia.

GOOD GOD No, just kidding.

Either in Austin or Temple Tx, close to my boys.

[Irish Eyes]

I have the 'misfortune' of living in La Jolla, CA. for 20+ years.
Beach towns aint all that. I could count on 7 hands how many times I've been to the beach.
Having visited for 20 years, in anticipation, I purchased a property in Palm Springs, proper, at end of 2012.

Prices were lower when I purchased and have since risen considerably.
My mortgage is less than $700. (2bd.2ba. single story condo with garden and my own pool) and will be paid off before retiring.

The Coachella valley has 5 'cities', Indio, La Quinta, Cathederal City, Palm Desert and Palm Springs, which non-locals collectively call Palm Springs.
Each have their pros and cons, some much more expensive than others
but my main reason for choosing Palm Springs, is it has an actual walkable downtown main street.

In comparison, well there is none.

Palm Springs always seems to have something going on and constantly busy.
The airport is practically downtown, easy freeway access, 2hrs drive to San Diego, 2-3hr drive to LA. basically spoilt for choice.
As for the summer heat, I love it.
So you go from AC in house to AC in car to AC in store.
My only issue is racing home before my ice-cream melts.

Oh and by the way nobody's invited.
Don't even consider asking.
Though to lessen the candidate/request pool, we'll see how AMG goes assumming I attend.

[Miss Philicia]

Philadelphia.

GOOD GOD No, just kidding.

Careful sweetie. Unbeknownst to most we have the second largest amount of healthcare facilities in the US. Not a bad place to be when you have an infectious disease for life.

[Theyer]

I was thinking of this not long before my diagnoses and was leaning towards Portland, OR.(no sales tax) or Vancouver,WA.(no state tax)but now looking for cheaper area with warmer climate and I'm leaning to stay right here in Florida maybe Tampa/St.Pete, seen homes very cheap if you go a little north of the city and no state taxes.. Still haven't made up my mind, still gotta ways to go..I'm not gay but I am gay friendly  and here in Ft.Lauderdale/Miami is known for its gay communities but I think its too pricey.. get more for your money further north.

It is an excepted economic rule that attracting " Gays" to a area will increase the value off that area. Manchester, England where up front about this , and that's what happened. Unfortunately there is a finite no off LGBBINGBLABG so Pockets off Manchester are still available to the adventurous.

Trick is find where the babygays are moving to, I fought to keep my flat in Clapham, I hate moving unless its an additional property, and Clapham over the 25 years I have lived here has seen a huge rise in Gay residents. So within my walking distance I have 5 screen indi cinema, indi Performing Arts theater , Waitrose and all the other paraphernalia off comfy middle class living, hardy any money to enjoy it but when I can I can walk there.

All I want is Sunshine, heat in Jan to March , perhaps I could sell the painkillers I have to take during those months ------only joking NHS-----

[wolfter]

If money is no concern I would summer in Seattle or San Francisco and winter in Palm Springs

I absolutely adored Seattle's weather.  I couldn't believe how moderate it was in Summer.  I freaked when I discovered the air conditioning didn't work in my room and there were no other rooms available.  Hell, I ended up not needing it.  In Ohio, I have the air on continually for about 6 months.

Not to mention, my calves looked really toned from all those hills....  Never did understand why we were always walking uphill, there should have been a point when there was a downhill walk.  Just one more block was my regular saying the whole time we were exploring.

wolfie

[Miss Philicia]

If I had to move somewhere for the weather and appearance, it would be Brookings, Oregon -- it's on the coast, small harbor, (shock) small town ~6,500. It has a slight micro-climate making it the warmest place on the Oregon coast.

However, with my ADVANCED HIV I would not feel comfortable living in a small town located in a county of only 22,000 people. I'd probably have to drive over four hours each way to get decent care in Eugene -- Portland is 6 hours and by that time I might as well drive the extra 30 minutes to San Francisco. Or better yet fly -- 1hr 30min flights are available for $400! via Crescent City, CA airport 26 miles south of Brookings.

Goodness, that sounds like a pain in the ass compared to where I live now. Sure, Philly's public schools suck and 40% of the residents here are addicted to crack and heroin but that's not really my problem.

PS: what I really need is to shack up with some Sodomite that owns a country place in western Chester county or something for weekend jaunts. Or better yet, Cape May.

PPS: I can't really do anything until I obtain my multi-million dollar inheritance anyway.

[vertigo]

Seems like the most common retirement spots for graying gays in the USA are Ft Lauderdale for the east coast, and Palm Springs for the west.

Neither one is a great city by any stretch,  but they do both have their charms, and I've spent some enjoyable time in each.

Personally I'm partial to San Diego.  Nice SoCal weather without the scorching summer heat of Palm Springs, great beaches, fun gay 'hood, friendly vibe.  Even better is San Francisco, but that's a really expensive option.  Sort of like retiring in Manhattan.

For most people, staying right where they are probably works out fine.  Maintains access to friends, family, social networks.  Hopefully with some money saved up for travel, too.

[Theyer]

Miss P is Brookings near a stretch off sand backed by Dunes with large rocks growing out off the sand beach ?

[Miss Philicia]

Miss P is Brookings near a stretch off sand backed by Dunes with large rocks growing out off the sand beach ?

You are probably thinking of Oregon Dunes National Recreation Area, and that is 2.5 hours north or Brookings.

But Harris Beach is a 30 minute walk from downtown Brookings and looks like this, and is on a lot of "Visit Oregon" type web sites.



But Oregon's coast is long -- like traveling from London to Glasgow, and it's all kind of rocky with small beaches, but very low population as most people in the state (70%) live in the Willamette Valley that runs from Eugene to Salem to Portland. The largest place directly on the coast is Coos Bay and that is only 16,000 people (and that place is 30 min from those dunes).

Oh yeah, when you live on the coast in Oregon you're rolling the dice on an earthquake even more major than what California will ever see, in which case you will immediately be killed by a massive tsunami that will have at most 3 minutes warning, if any warning at all.

[Jmarksto]

This photo would be accurate if you removed all that purple, and let the real grey show.  As an Oregon resident you get to appreciate all the shades of grey (no reference to BDSM intended).

[mitch777]

Seems like the most common retirement spots for graying gays in the USA are Ft Lauderdale for the east coast, and Palm Springs for the west.

Neither one is a great city by any stretch,  but they do both have their charms, and I've spent some enjoyable time in each.

Personally I'm partial to San Diego.  Nice SoCal weather without the scorching summer heat of Palm Springs, great beaches, fun gay 'hood, friendly vibe.  Even better is San Francisco, but that's a really expensive option.  Sort of like retiring in Manhattan.

For most people, staying right where they are probably works out fine.  Maintains access to friends, family, social networks.  Hopefully with some money saved up for travel, too.

That about sums up how I'm feeling. I've enjoyed both places for a visit but am more partial to Palm Springs. I just wonder how medical care varies between the two.

Correct me if I'm wrong (anyone), but I would think San Diego is much more expensive, specifically housing at least, than Ft. L. or PS. Great climate and maybe better healthcare?

[buginme2]

I like Ft lauderdale also.  The beaches cant be beat and California beaches really do not compare. 

The problem with Florida is that the state politically and economically is kind of a mess.  Also, being married and moving to a state that doesnt recognize your marriage would be a pain that I really dont want to deal with. 

I also, like that Palm Springs is very gay...yet its older gay.  Its different to go to a gay bar and have it be completely packed and everyone is 40 or older.  And, goodlooking 40 and older on top of it. 

I think the medical care should be ok there.  There is a large >40 gay population so there has to be doctors with HIV experience.  Desert medical center is right downtown. 

San Diego is nice and all that but I dont consider it a place to retire.  I've partied in San Diego and had a blast. 

[Miss Philicia]

I'm sure living somewhere with 120-degree temperatures is very relaxing for an immune compromised (though steroid enhanced) 70 year old. Not to mention it must make for a very expensive electrical bill. But hey, at least you'll have easy access to meth for the remainder of your days on Earth, plus that yearly Jeffrey Sanker White Party must be just a blast.

[mitch777]

I like Ft lauderdale also.  The beaches cant be beat and California beaches really do not compare. 

The problem with Florida is that the state politically and economically is kind of a mess.  Also, being married and moving to a state that doesnt recognize your marriage would be a pain that I really dont want to deal with. 

I also, like that Palm Springs is very gay...yet its older gay.  Its different to go to a gay bar and have it be completely packed and everyone is 40 or older.  And, goodlooking 40 and older on top of it. 

I think the medical care should be ok there.  There is a large >40 gay population so there has to be doctors with HIV experience.  Desert medical center is right downtown. 

San Diego is nice and all that but I dont consider it a place to retire.  I've partied in San Diego and had a blast.

The married thing in Florida doesn't bother me because of my pending (hopefully) disability. Staying "single" in the eyes of current laws provide a better safety net in my case. (sad but true for those who feel the need to be married, straight or gay with restrictions on benefits due to combined income ). It's the political mess in FL that steers me away more than anything. And maybe the difference in healthcare but I'm not even sure about that.

I had "planned" on more options at this point in my/our life financially but alas the choices now are more limited.

Looking forward to the next chapter never the less.

[mitch777]

I'm sure living somewhere with 120-degree temperatures is very relaxing for an immune compromised (though steroid enhanced) 70 year old. Not to mention it must make for a very expensive electrical bill. But hey, at least you'll have easy access to meth for the remainder of your days on Earth, plus that yearly Jeffrey Sanker White Party must be just a blast.

You're just saying that because you will miss being so near to me.

[mecch]

The way things are going, you really don't want to be retiring anywhere on a coast at sea level. Depending of course on how long you expect to live.  My granny lived 30+ years after retirement.  I know we only have "near normal" life expectancy (cough, gasp, er, whatever) buy you never know.  High ground.  And not too much in the desert or drought zones...  Unless there are cool nights and clever architecture to withstand blistering days. 

[Irish Eyes]

San Diego average home price is about $350K. God only knows what you get for that. Perhaps a teardown. Typically 'cheaper' properties are purchased for land value, to teardown or full remodel.
Decent rentals in the gayborhood 1500 - 2000.

Just arrived in Palm Springs (I guess about 2 days late) White Party winding down.
The town is packed, eye candy everywhere.
Matt I'm still tryin for that photo.

[Irish Eyes]

Forgot to mention Palm Springs also has a casino downtown.
Last year, unbeknownst to them, the Indians paid for about 8mths of my mortgage.
The best $200 I ever spent. (other than for my 1st. ever massage that led me to this site).

[bocker3]

Hopefully, I will retire in about 10 yrs (assuming that the economy doesn't tank again and kill my investments).  60 might be young to retire, but Sid will be 68 at that point and I do want for us to be able to enjoy traveling, etc.

As to where -- I will assume marriage equality will be decided by then, so my main criteria will be someplace that won't tax my savings too much.  Seeing as we both like to cruise and it has no state income tax, Florida seems a likely option.  Probably not too coastal, but we'll see.  We don't really need that gay culture, as we don't go to bars, etc now.  Plus, my main concern is to not have our money run out before we are both dead.  My daughter gets an inheritance only if we haven't spent it all first.

For those thinking of California -- seems to me that would be one of the more expensive states in which to retire.  I've not researched it, so I could be wrong, but I've never seen it on any list of a good "retirement state".  Throw in the fact that water is getting scarcer and scarcer out there, I would definitely not opt to live in the desert.  But that's me........

Mike

[Miss Philicia]

For those thinking of California -- seems to me that would be one of the more expensive states in which to retire.  I've not researched it, so I could be wrong, but I've never seen it on any list of a good "retirement state".  Throw in the fact that water is getting scarcer and scarcer out there, I would definitely not opt to live in the desert.  But that's me........

Mike

CA is very big -- how can one even compare San Diego to living in Fesno or Redding, cost-wise -- much less the climates.

Like saying Virginia is expensive because of Loudoun when you can buy a cheap house in Boydton instead.

[Dan0]

CA is very big -- how can one even compare San Diego to living in Fesno or Redding, cost-wise -- much less the climates.

Would anyone willingly WANT to retire in Fresno or Redding? 

[mitch777]

The way things are going, you really don't want to be retiring anywhere on a coast at sea level. Depending of course on how long you expect to live.  My granny lived 30+ years after retirement.  I know we only have "near normal" life expectancy (cough, gasp, er, whatever) buy you never know.  High ground.  And not too much in the desert or drought zones...  Unless there are cool nights and clever architecture to withstand blistering days.

I know we are all doomed due to climate change and it's already showing signs. Hope the youngin's can turn current knowledge into reality.


I'm 55 years old and have been living with HIV since I was 23. I just want a cheap and lovable, stress-free, temperate, socially progressive, artistic, A-B grade healthcare, fun and adventure nearby, and another 20 or more things. In other words Utopia.

I get the Utopia of "there's no place like home" for whatever reasons suite you. In fact I envy that in some ways. Many ways.

I want answers people!!! 

Oregon. Hmm...
Is it at least less gloomy and wet than Washington? Or maybe worse? Dunno.
I only have visited Portland for a month when I was about 9 years old. What a beautiful state! Took a trip to Mt. Hood and it was breathtaking. I think we drove further south along the coast, I forget where, but it was a cold, rocky, windy, wild wave kinda place.

Healthcare? I'm thinking it's pretty good.
Climate?  maybe.
Liberal. check.
Expense? biggest question I guess.

Getting Kenny on board? That's really the biggest question/problem. Not sure how fair I am being. That's my biggest worry.



   

[Dan0]

Well - here you go!  This from Forbes on the very best places (Top 25) to retire for 2014.  They took into account many of the things you wanted from health care to climate.  How they came up with these twenty-five is beyond me. 

Boise?  REALLY? 

http://www.forbes.com/pictures/mjf45hfje/abilene-tx/

Suffice to say, I would venture that the writer of this piece and the investigation team had never been to a drag show or a white party. 

Oklahoma City?......ugh.

[vertigo]

Correct me if I'm wrong (anyone), but I would think San Diego is much more expensive, specifically housing at least, than Ft. L. or PS. Great climate and maybe better healthcare?

San Diego isn't cheap.  About on par with Seattle, Portland or LA as far as western cities go.  Only cheap in comparison with San Francisco.  Palm Springs would be the value play on the west coast.  Can't speak for Ft Lauderdale, but I would imagine the range is pretty big depending on how close to the beach you are or how nice the digs.

I also, like that Palm Springs is very gay...yet its older gay.  Its different to go to a gay bar and have it be completely packed and everyone is 40 or older.  And, goodlooking 40 and older on top of it. 

I think the medical care should be ok there.  There is a large >40 gay population so there has to be doctors with HIV experience.  Desert medical center is right downtown. 

San Diego is nice and all that but I dont consider it a place to retire.  I've partied in San Diego and had a blast. 

You correctly point out some of the good things that Palm Springs has to offer.  I've had a great time there over a long weekend.  But given more than a week in PS I think I would be bored.  I don't golf and don't spend that much time at the bars.  So what's left?  Yes, you can sit around the pool all day, but still.  I think San Diego would have more to offer over the long haul.  PS seems like more of a second home place for those that can afford it.