Author Topic: To all the experts, please assess my risk (Read 11966 times)

anxietyrisk · « **on:** May 31, 2011, 06:14:59 am »

(Please forgive me if I have some errors in my English grammar)

I am a male. My first encounter was last October with another male. Deep kissing and oral sex was only performed. I tested after 6 months and it was NON REACTIVE.

Almost two weeks ago, I met a married man who claims to be clean. We had sex. We had deep kissing but I am worried if I have some wounds and other bleeding in my mouth. Then, I sucked his whole body except for his penis head to avoid any precum. He wanted to fuck me but I said that I will only agree if he will use condoms. He got his condom from his bag, put some lubricant in my anal area. He tried to penetrate me but he stopped because my anus was too tight and I could'nt take the pain. So what he did was just he sucked my nipples while fingering me. I was afraid if there were some precum in his hands while he was fingering me. Then he masturbated with condoms.. While he was doing it, we had no body contacts and I even witnessed the time that he released. I knew that the condom didn't break because I pressed his condom after his jack off.
After our sex, I checked his fingers and there were no wounds or any kind of bleeding. I also asked him again if he is clean and he told me that he is clean and in order to remain clean, he must use protection. Also, he told me that he is afraid of any disease because he have children. But, I am still in doubt/paranoid.

When I got home, I took a shower. I witnessed that there were some little bleeding in my anal area. I was afraid that I might be exposed.

SOME QUESTIONS (please help me):
1. Was my first exposure cleared?
2. With regards to the recent exposure, am I at risk? Do I need to test? (assuming that there are some precum exposed to my anal area)
3. Not related to my exposure but I would like to ask if a large amount of cum/sperm cells was exposed in the environment after ejaculation, can it still infect a person supposing that it was exposed in wounds or any blood openings?

Hoping for your response and more power to all of you!

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #1 on:** May 31, 2011, 06:26:23 am »

Anxiety,

First up, please do not use to the term "clean" to refer to a person's HIV status. It's very offensive. It suggests that those of us who have HIV are dirty. I am HIV positive and I object to that characterisation.

That aside, nothing you report is a risk for HIV transmission. Kissing, licking and the like are all safe behaviours. So are fingering and anal sex using condoms.

You were not at risk of being infected with HIV from these encounters and you do not need to be tested for HIV as a result.

HIV is transmitted via unprotected anal and vaginal sex, by sharing contaminated injecting equipment such as needles and syringes and in some cases from HIV positive mother to her unborn or nursing infant.

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and follow the links to our lessons on HIV transmission.

EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE NOT AT RISK OF CONTRACTING HIV FROM THES PARTICULAR INCIDENTS, all sexually active adults should be screened for HIV and other STDs at least once a year. Twice is better. If you've not had a sexual health screening recently, you might wish to arrange for one.

MtD

anxietyrisk · « **Reply #2 on:** June 01, 2011, 05:31:59 am »

I'm really sorry for my terminologies. I hope you don't mind it much.

I would like to clarify that he didn't use any condoms while fingering me. Am I now at risk?

Also, I've been experiencing some itchiness/rashes in my body. Is it just only due to stress, anxiety and hot weather?

Ann · « **Reply #3 on:** June 01, 2011, 07:32:22 am »

anxiety,

You have already been told that you have not been at risk for hiv infection. Fingering or being fingered are not risks despite the presence of cum or pre-cum.

If you feel unwell, see a doctor. Whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv as you did not have a risk.

Ann

anxietyrisk · « **Reply #4 on:** June 05, 2011, 09:31:43 pm »

Thanks Ann!
I have another question with regards to the said exposure:
Even if I had bleeding in my anus since it was my first time, is it still no risk? (Even with the presence of a precum?)
Lately, I'm sweating more than the usual and have an eye irritation. Could these be symptoms?

Sorry to disturb you guys and thank you for your time!

RapidRod · « **Reply #5 on:** June 05, 2011, 11:07:49 pm »

HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

anxietyrisk · « **Reply #6 on:** June 09, 2011, 12:15:25 pm »

To Andy, Ann, Rod, etc.
I can sense a single bump in my armpit area which I think is a swollen lymph node. I'm really really scared. It appeared after 21 days of exposure. Based on my given exposure, don't I really have a risk?

RapidRod · « **Reply #7 on:** June 09, 2011, 02:05:17 pm »

No you didn't have a risk.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #8 on:** June 09, 2011, 05:24:36 pm »

You can have all the symptoms in the world. They have nothing to do with HIV. You should be discussing them with your doctor.

And if you continue to come back repeatedly when we've told you that, you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site.

This is NOT an HIV situation. Period.

anxietyrisk · « **Reply #9 on:** June 23, 2011, 08:17:14 am »

here's a new situation:
hours ago, I met a guy who is kinda sexually active. there was no penetration happened and most of the time I was wearing my underwear.
Before we had any contact, I accidentally bite my inner left cheeks so I assumed there was bleeding inside my mouth. I don't want to kiss him but he still force to put his mouth on my mouth. He wanted me to suck his penis so I blowed him without condoms (only one pump and I removed my mouth). However, I tasted some precum and feared that some of it went to my cheek that I bite.
1 hour ago, I saw some rashes in my lower legs, left lower side of my body and palm. I'm still in fear with my previous exposure (fingering). What could this be? please help me

Andy Velez · « **Reply #10 on:** June 23, 2011, 08:53:43 am »

Your saliva has over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV.

You are worrying needlessly. Use condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse consistently and you will be well protected against the sexual transmission of HIV. It really is that simple.

anxietyrisk · « **Reply #11 on:** June 23, 2011, 09:00:31 am »

thanks Andy!
So what I have been experiencing has nothing to do with my previous exposures (including the fingering one)? Do I still need to test? Can I move on with my life. Please give me assurance.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #12 on:** June 23, 2011, 09:16:44 am »

No, you do not need to test over this incident.

Get on with your life. Period.

anxietyrisk · « **Reply #13 on:** June 24, 2011, 11:05:33 am »

thanks. I'm really scared on what's happening. the rashes gets worse. Some are itchy and some aches. I'm freaking out because my gums were bleeding when I gave oral and even tasted precum

Ann · « **Reply #14 on:** June 24, 2011, 11:43:53 am »

Anxiety,

If you're worried about your rashes (and by the way, the rash that sometimes occurs during ARS does NOT itch) GO SEE A DOCTOR. Posting on an internet forum is not going to do a single thing to resolve your rashes or aches and pains or whatever else ails you.

Whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv as you did NOT HAVE A RISK.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or NO RISK situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned for the last time!

Ann

anxietyrisk · « **Reply #15 on:** July 19, 2011, 11:50:01 am »

To Ann and Others:
Thank you so much for your answers. I'll put my trust on you guys because you are experts in this field.
But for understanding/information purposes (definitely not for paranoia factor), I would just like to ask if dry underarms and hoarseness of voice can be a symptom? Also, I would like to ask on why does oral sex does not possess any risk even the person performing has dry mouth, sores, and presence of precum.
Please do not ban me from the site. I would just like to gain some knowledge. Thank you very much!

Andy Velez · « **Reply #16 on:** July 19, 2011, 04:04:47 pm »

Quote from: Ann on June 24, 2011, 11:43:53 am

Anxiety,

If you're worried about your rashes (and by the way, the rash that sometimes occurs during ARS does NOT itch) GO SEE A DOCTOR. Posting on an internet forum is not going to do a single thing to resolve your rashes or aches and pains or whatever else ails you.

Whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv as you did NOT HAVE A RISK.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Please consider yourself warned for the last time!

Ann

Re-read what Ann has told you about not having had a risk. Nothing you are agonizing about today is anything more than just more nonsense. You haven't had a risk. Period.

And now I am giving you a 28 day Time Out from the site. Don't make the further mistake of trying to get around the TO by creating a new name. We'll spot that right off and it will get you permanently banned.

You have no basis for any concern about HIV to date.

anxietyrisk · « **Reply #17 on:** November 23, 2011, 10:02:57 am »

Good day. I would just like to ask if I had a risk from my last exposure:

19 days ago, I had a sexual encounter with a man whose status is unknown. I know that oral sex isn't a risk but I had stomatitis or sore in my mouth (near my teeth). During that time, my lips and mouth area are quite dry. I also tasted his precum.
He also rubbed his penis into my anus and he didn't penetrate me. I was messaging this guy, but he is no longer responding me. I'm afraid that he's hiding something from me.

As of yesterday, I developed a severe couch and headache. I am also experiencing fever.

Did I put myself at risk?

RapidRod · « **Reply #18 on:** November 23, 2011, 10:06:24 am »

You better start paying attention to what Ann and Andy have told you. They aren't playing when they issue a warning.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #19 on:** November 23, 2011, 04:44:25 pm »

Listen, by this time we have had enough exchanges for you to know what is and what isn't risky. Re-read what has been told to you previously and apply it to your ongoing sex life.

If the guy rubbed his penis against you anus that is NOT a risk. If he did not penetrate you then it wasn't a risk. It's not complicated.

You have no business pestering the guy. It's not a surprise that he isn't responding. You are the one who is responsible for your health and what you do with someone else. If you're old enough to be having sex then you are old enough to think about what you're doing. Your symptoms are not HIV specific. If they persist you should discuss them with your doctor.

Cut out the drama and get on with your life. Really.

anxietyrisk · « **Reply #20 on:** August 15, 2012, 08:21:17 am »

Ann, Andy, etc. earlier I had sex with a man that I was dating. I am bit terrified because we had humping (he rubbed his pennis in my anus roughly) by which he was trying to insert his penis in my butt but I disagreed. To the best of knowledge, there was no penetration happened but what terrifies/scares me is that his penis might entered slightly into my anus while he was rubbing my butt hole. Please help me, I am so scared.

RapidRod · « **Reply #21 on:** August 15, 2012, 08:47:21 am »

You diddn't have an exposure.

anxietyrisk · « **Reply #22 on:** August 15, 2012, 08:55:19 am »

Thank RapidRod. Even if there was an accidental insertion by the tip of his penis in my butt hole? We were not that sure if there was an accidental penetration. Precum was present and he slightly ejaculated outside my anal area and I suddenly moved away when he cummed. should I still worry about this?

RapidRod · « **Reply #23 on:** August 15, 2012, 08:56:59 am »

Had you penetrated him you wouldn't be quessing you would have known without a doubt.

anxietyrisk · « **Reply #24 on:** August 15, 2012, 09:14:56 am »

so testing is absolutely not required?

RapidRod · « **Reply #25 on:** August 15, 2012, 09:15:41 am »

You don't need testing for HIV.

anxietyrisk · « **Reply #26 on:** August 16, 2012, 05:34:24 am »

Since I don't have any experience with regards to anal sex, how would I know if I was penetrated or not? I cannot distinguish it much because what I remembered in or encounter is that his penis was rubbing my anus roughly. If he accidentally inserted it, it would not exceed for about 5-10 seconds and it was not his full penis, just a small part in his penis head. I'm so depressed right now and I don't know what to do.

Ann · « **Reply #27 on:** August 16, 2012, 05:52:43 am »

anxiety,

There is what's called a sphincter muscle at the opening of the anus. When a person is unaccustomed to having objects inserted into the anus, this sphincter muscle will spasm and cause you a great deal of pain and discomfort.

The first time a person has anal intercourse, much care and attention needs to be taken to relax this muscle and ease into it. Believe me, if he entered your virgin anus, you WOULD have known about it. You would have cried out in pain and surprise. I remember the first time a man tried to enter me anally - I actually shot off the end of the bed and landed in a heap on the floor and he'd only gotten as far as the very tip of his penis. You'd know.

What you engaged in is called frottage (rubbing the genitals on some part of another person's body, without penetration), and frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

The bottom line here (er, no pun intended) is that if you cannot bring yourself to believe us when we tell you you had no risk, go test, collect your negative result and move on with your life.

As a sexually active adult, you should be having regular, routine, complete sexual health check-ups at least once a year. Think of it like going to the dentist for regular check-ups - you may not have a toothache, but you go anyway.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER THIS FROTTAGE INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

anxietyrisk · « **Reply #28 on:** August 16, 2012, 06:36:09 am »

thank you so much Ann for those inputs. quite feeling better right now. with regards to your post about anal sex, what I remembered was that I did my best to close my butt hole (using my muscle senses) so that he cannot penetrate me accidentally. But due to his rough humping, I felt pain and glossy sensation because he used his saliva as a lube. The pain what I am referring to is not that as the one you're referring. Just an average sensation. It MIGHT only be due to his rough humping or due to accidental slight insertion.

RapidRod · « **Reply #29 on:** August 16, 2012, 06:40:48 am »

Had you been penetrated there would not be a "might" to it at all, you would have known without a doubt.

anxietyrisk · « **Reply #30 on:** August 16, 2012, 07:43:17 am »

To Ann,
will I feel any big discomfort/trauma in my anal area if penetration occured (say too much pain)? In my case, it was just minimimal sensation after our sexual activity. I was quite normal after our intercourse yesterday. What bothers me is that I cannot contact him anymore. I'm so sorry to bug you but I'm just so stressed right now.

Ann · « **Reply #31 on:** August 16, 2012, 09:18:44 am »

Anxiety,

Look, you were there, I wasn't. All I can tell you is that is it extremely improbable that you were anally penetrated without your knowledge.

Again, if you cannot bring yourself to believe us that you had no risk, go test and put it to rest. You're not going to be permitted to use this forum to go on and on about this non-event. Got it? Good!

Ann

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Author Topic: To all the experts, please assess my risk (Read 11966 times)