Hello

[notimeforthat]

Hello,

I tested positive in 1994. I also had an inconclusive test some months after that in another state and was asked to return and test again. I never did. I lived in some seriously deep denial for 18 years which was stupidly reinforced by near perfect health (despite being a very heavy daily drinker, smoker and paying zero attention to my health) and very jesusy family that was absolutely certain that through divine intervention this had in fact been "taken away". 

Last year I had 2 month long period of losing a lot of weight and was always feeling exhausted. It went away and I gained the weight back and was my normal self. I didn't give it any thought other than I got the flu right along with everyone else at my work; shit happens and ...I am superman after all.

Several months later I was in the hospital throwing up blood caused by a few small tears in my esophagus caused by esophageal candidiasis. The doctor asked me if he could test me for HIV. I was shocked and though I kept it to myself, I was pissed off. I got out of that hospital as fast as they would let me (the rising $60,000 bill didn't help). Before I left the nurse gave me some literature from what I now know is one of the local organizations that administers all the "hiv/aids stuff". I threw it out when  I got home and went about my business.

Over this past holiday season I got the flu again, right along with everyone else only it didn't really go away. Coughing, weight loss, going to bed right after work, the candidiasis came back, I was a mess. My mother hounded me to go see a doctor (hadn't been to a doctor since 1994 except for the recent hospitalization).

After a couple months of feeling miserable, again ...and doing some uncomfortable thinking. I went and got tested. The hiv test came back positive. The doctor advised that once the rest of blood work came back we would take it from there, gave me some antibiotics and gave me some scenarios depending on what the numbers were, one of which was "and if you actually have AIDS...", my first thought was "don't you ever say that to me again." That shocked me and made me angry.

I went back two weeks later; cd4 29, viral load 160k. Started Stribild that day and have been on it for almost 5 weeks. The first few days, randomly and out of the blue I would think "you have aids." I have gotten used to the idea. I also feel better than I have in two years, gained back 17lbs in the last 3-4 weeks, and most importantly I feel like an overbearing burden/monkey that I wasn't even aware was there, is gone.

So that's my story in all it's tedium and poor grammar. Hello.

[Jeff G]

Welcome to the forum Notime . I want to thank you for sharing your story , it may just be the story that's gets someone to test or into treatment , it may save a life .

[Theyer]

Welcome  Superman and thanks for sharing your story so clearly, I would be very surprised if someone who reads this will get alone and get test that bit earlier, therefore giving themselves the best possible start in dealing with there HIV. Which is what Jeff said but good things can be repeated.
m

[pozapril2013]

OMG Notime!
 I would like to thank you for posting...Same story here without the illness. I also am on Stribild but only 2 weeks....I wish I would have tested earlier...but didn't see the need....now its AIDS....I haven't truly wrapped my head around that but I am thinking about the AIDS less and looking forward to my next Labs..

I am sorry this has happened to you but you just gave me a breath of hope...look forward to your numbers rising!

[weasel]

    Hi  Notime ,
                      I'm glad to meet you 

     I hope you are doing well   , no one likes to hear " You have AIDS "
    Brings back many memories for me .

    Life goes on OK  for most of us  ,  Taking our MEDS does the trick .

                                             Be  well ,
                                                                Carl 

[Theyer]

Last time someone asked wether I had aids I told them, sincerely , off the bath handles , commode and occasional use off walking stick.

It really does get that old.
m

[notimeforthat]

Thanks All.

I started Stribild April,10 this year. Went in to get results from second lab drawn May,7 . VL went down to 50 from 166k. The person who took the blood however apparently did not include, or forgot to take the sample to be tested for cd4s and all that stuff...(what?! gotta be kiddin me) so I don't have results for that and have to wait another 6 weeks to see where we are on that. Disappointing, though next time I will insist they double check to make sure they have and send what needs to be sent and have it identified correctly. They may not like it, but oh well.

I wasn't allowing myself to get to optimistic prior to going in and getting the results, but I'm pleased with what did come back. And, just as importantly I feel like a million bucks. It's been quite awhile since I haven't felt like I was just falling ( literally ;p ) apart.

...yay!