POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: ndrew on August 02, 2006, 08:59:20 pm
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I am interested in hearing about how people cope with stress. This has a HUGE impact in my health. I am also interested in personal stories and coping strategies.
For instance, I had to (is there another way?) explode at a bank manager to get them to take action regarding a financial dispute with a hotel in Berlin that charged me many $$ for a room I canceled within the grace period. We kept going in circles until I had to threaten closing my account and contacting an attorney. Of course, all of my anger usually turns into a sinus infection... and it did.
Afternoon naps, lounging in bed with my cats and hot baths with Epsom salts and lavender oil are great for relaxing (I am considering buying Epsom salts by the case.)
How do you manage anger or stress? What do you do to relax?
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Build yourself a nice, reliable support system. If you can talk to others about the daily HIV troubles, this will carry over into other aspects of your life, helping to make it a bit easier.
And pick your battles wisely. Don't bitch and sweat the small stuff.
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hey ndrew,
I meditate (not nearly enough), exercise (not nearly enough), snorkel (when it is warm enough), during the colder months yell at the opposition football team and the referee, smoke pot when I want/need to, and have a daily routine that I do not like intefered with. I find they all help to keep my stress levels down. Hot baths are wonderful too, but alas, I have no bath in my current house - it had been three long years since my last bath but my hotel in Thailand had a bath tub which I filled to the top with piping hot water and salts. Oh what a joy.
Steve
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Hello Ndrew, it is Eldon. Jeff said it clearly and I agree that you should get yourself a good strong support system in place to cope with your stress. The forums is a great place to start. There are a lot of caring and understanding people here.
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One of the things that helps me out in my time of need is Music.
It has saved my sanity more then once.
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I lift weights and trail jog. I also walk my dog in the woods. When I'm angry I will sometimes play combat video games.
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Everyone is different in how they cope... I found exercise to be huge... I also found keeping busy at work keeps my stress down... As I work in hotels, dispute the charge with you credit card company... They are on your side... I write of thousands of dollars a month in disputes... We want you to come back... Otherwise you stayed at a suck ass hotel.. lol
I also find getting the adrenalin running naturally by climbing percarious cliffs or dangling from a rope is also ways to de-stress..
Having people to talk to especially who are going thru similar circumstances is vital.. Thus you are here... You will find your way!
Love
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Exercise (running, weights). Yoga twice a week (highly recommended). Lots of Mozart, Chopin. Window-shopping. A handy supply of Xanax and Klonopin (rarely used but I feel safer knowing they're there when the stress and/or anxiety levels hit the roof).
Jay
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I shoot rats and feral cats at the dump with an air-rifle.
MtD
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I know there may be alot of ::) when i say that MASTURBATION has always been the most effective source of de-stressing i have yet to find.
Endorphans are powerful chemicals - and i have found that a good j/o session really helps release the tension.
I'd rather j/o than pop pills or slam a few beers/cocktails.
Laugh away, but it's worked for me!
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I know there may be alot of ::) when i say that MASTURBATION has always been the most effective source of de-stressing i have yet to find.
Endorphans are powerful chemicals - and i have found that a good j/o session really helps release the tension.
I'd rather j/o than pop pills or slam a few beers/cocktails.
Laugh away, but it's worked for me!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Long fast walks and yoga every day.
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Dear TampaBob ,
I am very stress today because of my writing up. I think this topic is very helpful for me. I learn much. I cant not help laughing when I read your idea. My table and chair are shaken now, not because I am doing what you advised here but because of your idea. It helps me relax now. Thank you very much. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Tigercub
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Hi Tiger!
Well, i'm glad i could help....well...i mean....i could help, but then would it qualify as self-pleasure? Hmm!
Oh, btw, according to a recent report here in the USA, those who masturbate at least once a week as adults have a 78% reduction in their rate of Prostate cancer and prostate-related medical issues!
So, take matters into your own hands folks! Reduce stress. Excercise your prostate (for the gents out there specifically) and remember - masturbation is sex with someone you TRUELY love!
Happy Jackin! :)
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Genet said that masturbation is the best kind of sex, because the pleasure given is equal to the pleasure received.
You're right Bob, masturbation is the best stress-reliever there is.
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And pick your battles wisely. Don't bitch and sweat the small stuff.
I'm with Jeffey on that.
Also don't keep things bottled up - decompress when you need to.
Trying to maintain perspective on the importance or non importance of things that cause me to feel overly stressed helps too.
Daniel
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I use a big bottle of California red wine and eat Lexapro like candy!
I used to shoot things with bullets, but my insane cackling drew to much attention.
BB
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Simple diet.
Yoga: four classes a week—three techniques.
I also practice everyday by myself.
It’s opened doors for me.
It’s my lifestyle.
I began nine years ago.
I believe yoga saved my life.
I bicycle everywhere.
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I've been meaning to start Yoga for a while now. Even bought a DVD, though there is a daily yoga cable show I could tape as well.
I hope its possible without the requisite sweltering temperatures. I keep my apartment at sixty. And I hate, beyond the telling of it, heat.
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Hot yoga frightens me; it's a crazy modern adaptation I think, and certainly not required. Start with "Hatha" yoga, simple postures and simple breathing exercises; the surya namaskar (Salutation to the Sun). I'm lucky that one of my friends here, also a student, conducts the yoga classes; I feel terrific after each one.
Jay
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I took one Bikram, (Hot Yoga), class.
Personally, I would not recommend it, particularly to someone with health issues.
It is an unnatural environment.
I collapsed halfway through the 3rd set. I suggest that the heat may cause heart palpitations or worse. I had to sit in the laundry/changing room and drink copious amounts of water for an hour after the class before I was able to leave the premises. I had tremors. I will not do it again.
I think to get real benefit from yoga one needs an instructor rahter than instruction from a screen.
You may need to look for one you can relate to, much like finding the right doctor.
Repetition is important (time of day, length of practice time), so that eventually the muscles, nerves and blood vessels stretch and subconsciously “understand” what is being demanded of them.
Yoga means “united”.
Hatha yoga is bodybuilding through mental control.
An inner dialogue/argument begins.
Is it the body that decides when the pose will be released, or will the mind control this, despite protest from the muscles?
No need for a hot room. You will sweat.
You will also get much benefit.
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Regular exercise, yoga (not enough), meditation (not enough), masturbation (enough thank you :D) all work for me.
Today I tried something new, floatation, and it is very relaxing. Floated for an hour in an isolation tank, pitch dark (but you can have light), silence(but you can have music). I didn't pick on the fad in the mid eighties but this is a nice way to relax.
In addition to all I would add massage, wether swedish, thai, rolfing, connective tissue, shiatsu or reflexology, they all have a relaxing effect on the body as they affect your neurovegetative system (the one you don't control by will).
Lastly I would say that your diet can affect how you deal with a tense situation; some will say I am biased as I am a veggie but going easy or suppressing red meat in your diet might help. (I don't have evidence at hand but will forward it here when I find it). Sugar also seems to play a role in restlessness/agressivity levels, at least in children.
Pat
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I swim and walk/play ball with the dog.
Read good books and music too is my sanity saver.
And l keep a online blog ....Silly l know but it helps a lot when l write even if it is silly small stuff.
It's just one day at a time for me.
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So many good suggestions here about what works for people when attempting to de-stress! I particularly liked the masturbation once a week idea. I'll have to try that. *evil grin* Ok. Ok. I'll have to scale back to just once a week :)
One thing that I've been indulging, since beginning Sustiva, is to take naps periodically throughout the day. Getting out of bed in the morning is also becoming tough since the pleasure of dreaming is so comforting. There's something so wonderful about being unconscious and letting your brain work through all the shit, to awake refreshed. I'm waiting for medical science to catch up with me so I can be a virtual producer by having some IMAX recording device wired directly to my brain. They can implant my cell phone while they're at it.
Back to real life. I still enjoy venting when someone pushes buttons that they ought not to have. Bank managers used to be a particular favourite but insurane companies seem to be the recent receivers of my ire. Call me trendy, I guess. I feel all the better for letting off the steam and before you judge me a tyrant, I'm sensitive to the recipients where possible. I do wonder at times though how I've managed to stay in a relationship for almost 17 years. I guess he's used to my "habitual" rants. Who needs a TV with me around? Express it and get on with life is my mantra!
In some twisted way, I wish the world was built like I am - able to express on a dime the frustration, anger, or discontent and then move forward. Big props to those amongst us who have the ability to absorb this lightning. It sure does take all types for the world to keep spinning ... which brings me to another vicarious pleasure to de-stress.
Watch people. There's always someone within eye-shot doing something worth observing :)
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In addition to practicing yoga, I believe my diet helps me relieve stress.
I believe it is true that we are what we eat.
On the good advice of my yoga teacher, I avoid red meat.
I observed a change for the better in me when I did this.
The only meats I eat are baked or poached fish; some chicken, nothing fried.
I learned to prepare fish so it would be simple and tasty.
There is neither salt nor sugar in my kitchen.
More than enough of these have been added to other foods I already eat, like breads.
I use “Bragg” instead of salt.
It’s a soy concentrate that you can find in Health Food Stores.
I sometimes add a little to hot water and drink it like consommé.
I use lots of herbs to enhance flavours.
I cook my own foods so I know what I’m eating.
To lower cholesterol, reduce effects of Type 2 Diabetes and elevated BP, I eat no animal fats, and limit all fats—drastically when compared to my peers. But that’s become normal for me now.
My diet is essentially Pritikin’s. It’s my standard. I enjoy natural food—mostly plant, lots of fruit, nuts and seeds.
I dilute juices, so I can drink lots all day without sugar spike.
I eat when I have appetite, but not within 2 to 4 hours before yoga classes.
It's important to have an empty gut when you do yoga.
Eating less fat makes dishwashing easier too, hence, less effort is necessary in that department.
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HHmmmm,
20 years ago I would have said that the best way to handle stress was with a bottle of Jack Daniels, and a pack of cigarettes !! At least that was how I attempted to handle it the first year after diagnosis. And of course that line of thinking is a total mistake, and a road to certain destruction.
Everyone is going to have stress,( and differant levels of it) and there is no getting around it. I try not to let stress play a part in my daily routine, and in most cases I am fairly successful at it.
For those that are working, that in itself can cause stress levels to rise. for myself, working keeps my stress levels down. and it's something that I enjoy and look forward to everyday.
Getting into an exercise routine may help reduce stress levels. And that is probably something that should be considered very early on into diagnosis, because as time passes on, exercise becomes a little more difficult. Riding a bike, taking walks.... all fun and good things ..
Stay away from negativity. There were people in my life years ago, that if these people were still in my life today, they probably would have contributed to putting me in an early grave :-\ I don't miss those people in my life !! And I am much better without them...
Try to keep a sense of humor. Try to put a little bit of comedy in your life EVERYDAY !!! it will reduce stress.Learn to laugh again( in case you forgot how). Get out of the house, don't let the four walls entomb you !! Do things.... Go to the movies, listen to music, get a hobby. I like buying old broken clocks,and typewriters. I usually won't sell the clocks, but I always have someone at work, who still likes to have an old fashion typewriter. so I fix them up, make sure they work, blow the dust out of them, get a new ribbon, and their like new. You would be surprised, how many people still want a typewriter, and say the heck with the computer !! Most of the time time I am successful at getting these things working again. I love working on mechanical things, it's hypnotic to me, and it makes time pass quickly.
And if that doesn't work, someone else already mentioned masturbation !! :) Which brought a smile to my face !!! Enjoy life !
Ray
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If all else fails Xanax as a last resort...
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Remeron
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There are so many wonderful bits here, thanks!
I have been watching DVDs of the "Golden Girls" or anything that makes me really LAUGH. This is my new attempt at destressing.
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I have been watching DVDs of the "Golden Girls" or anything that makes me really LAUGH. This is my new attempt at destressing.
:D I always get my dialy dose of those Golden Chicks !!! ;)