Newly Poz and so scared

[Gavin07]

Hello all
      So I found out I was hiv+ the end of March. I was very upset about it but still have never cried. I have read a lot not sure what to believe an not. My dr says I will be fine I don’t feel fine.  My VL was 5180.  My cd4 was 379. I was pretty shocked at thos numbers because my last test was neg 6 months ago.  I am on Biktarvy alittle over a month and getting blood work done tomorrow to see how my numbers are. My dr only checks VL on the first blood work. Not cd4.  Soo idk I have been having some issues I have Anxiety and that has really kicked in.  But my feet and hands an nose get really cold and then burn an have alittle numbness and pins An needles.  I don’t believe it’s the meds. My feet where burning b4 I even started it.  I went to see a
Neurologist 2 weeks ago he told me he doesn’t think it’s  Neurological he did a lot of blood work an a few tests at his office.  I’m
So confused I feel like it’s only getting worse. And  if this is what the rest of my life will be like I’m not sure I can do this.   Idk. He and my hiv dr want me to go to a Therapist an I did set an apt up but this can’t just be anxiety.   If any one here has any advise it would be Appreciated .  I just don’t know what to do .

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Sorry to hear about the anxiety and hopefully the therapist can assist. Prehaps some face to face peer support at some stage might also help reduce some of the anxious feelings and stress.

Being newly diagnosed can be a lot to digest but I'm glad to read that you started HIV treatment early and, with a great CD4 count and low viral load. Hopefully, your VL will be UD (suppressed) soon and don't worry about the CD4 counts they are rather irrelevant to check since you had solid counts to start with.

Regarding the feeling in the nose and hands, if I understand you correctly the doctors think it might be anxiety-related. Prehaps, physical symptoms are possible but do keep working with the doctors, it's not the meds as you point out and could be something that also settles down or goes even with time.

Anyhow, welcome to the forum, sorry to hear about the diagnosis and keep us posted. I hope you feel less scared soon.

Best, Jim

[Gavin07]

Thanks for your reply Jim. I’m still processing this so peer groups wouldn’t work for me plus I live far away from anything like that.  But thank you just reading your reply made me feel a little better.  Thanks again 

[Tonny2]

        ojo.       Hello Gavin07....welcomes to the forum, you are not alone anymore, we are here to support you...if I were you, I would try to relax, your Numbers are fine and I’m sure, you will be UD on your next blood work results...I know how difficult getting an hiv dx, but you will feel better as the days go by, we are here for you...sorry about your anxiety, hopefully you will get some help to ease it...please keep us posted, we are here for you...hugs.                                      ojo

[daveR]

Stress and anxiety can be a real pain. It will probably take a while to come to terms with the diagnosis. A healthy life style can work wonders with the feel good factor. Good healthy food, exercise to help release the feel good hormones. Meditation or mindfulness to help with the acceptance. All certainly worth trying if you are not yet ready for group discussion. I suffered stress years ago, long before my HIV diagnosis, it is strange how it can manifest itself, some of my symptoms were tingling. Keep a positive mindset and you will pull through this early phase.
As for the virus, try not to dwell on it, the meds will take Cate of it for you and your body will do the rest.

Take care
Dave

[harleymc]

The only thing impacting on your health is your me talk state.  Your test results are very good for someone starting out.

Ask your doctor about techniques such as mindfulness, neuro linguistic programming, medications.

There are some very useful things that you can also do like exercise and volunteering. Peer support can't be underestimated.
Get a shopping cart of things going, they work in a synagistic manner but not overnight.

[SanjeevKashyap]

Hi Gavin,

Please please don't give up. Not yet. Your CD4 count and VL is comparatively better than mine and most others whose were worse than yours and even mine. I was diagnosed in March too and my CD4 count was only 100. But they are doing fine with regular medication. I take my meds regularly on that. Please do that and listen to your doctor. There are others here whose advice will help you.
We are in it together. Please dont feel you are alone. With all the good news coming about the development in research far better drugs are on their way. Be positive.