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Author Topic: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!  (Read 14280 times)

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Offline aupointillimite

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Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« on: April 12, 2007, 08:36:01 pm »
Like I do.

So, I was told to drink cranberry juice and stay hydrated to avoid kidney stones in the wake of my excretory system issues. 

I was also told that prunes are supposed to help prevent kidney stones.

I hadn't had prunes in a long while, and I remember being disgusted with them when I was a kid... but I was willing to revisit the world of the dried plum.

So, I did.

Good God, they're delicious. 

They were so good that I was eating them by the handful.

Don't. Ever. Do. This.

I cannot stress enough how much one shouldn't do this. 

I mean, by all means... eat prunes... they rule... but not scads and oodles in a sitting.

It's just bad. 
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2007, 08:37:48 pm »
You can now shit through the eye of a needle, eh Benji?

MtD
(Who has ritonavir to help him shit liquid)

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2007, 08:40:45 pm »
You can now shit through the eye of a needle, eh Benji?

With vim and vigor, Matty.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2007, 08:41:49 pm »
See this is why you don't need your own under thirty forum...two minutes in Long-Term Survivors and you would have learned anything and everything about prunes in four thousand words our less. Next time wrap those bad boys in a Danish.  

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2007, 08:43:07 pm »
It's more fun this way for me, Doxie.

Because I'm juvenile.

My roommate and I now refer to prunes as "little Molotov cocktails of poop."
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2007, 08:44:53 pm »
My grandmother, the incredibly dour Presbyterian dowager Margaret Jean, is an enormous fan of prunes. She enjoys the daemonic things every morning for her prim breakfast.

Well as much as a Presbyterian is able to enjoy things.

MtD

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2007, 08:46:38 pm »
They're very sweet.

I think they are the most punk rawk of fruits.  In that once inside, they make demands... and are listened to.

Quickly.

I wish to meet your grandmother. 
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2007, 08:50:11 pm »
Kaletra is a synthetic prune.

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2007, 08:53:08 pm »
Kaletra is a synthetic prune.

Is it delicious?
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2007, 08:55:23 pm »
Kind of like I learned the hard way when i started adding 1/2-1 cup of uncooked oatmeal to my protien shakes in the blender.....

I decided to add the oatmeal 3 protien shakes that day (and forgot how much fiber oatmeal has) well i had stomach cramps for 2-3 days and thought i was going to die....

but i got used to the oatmeal now so i can have it 3 times a day no problem.....so the prunes will probably get better if you introduce them slowly and drink lots of water if you dont have enough water it will make you regret it
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2007, 09:00:06 pm »
No no no that is not how we play that game around here...it's more like geeze Benj if one box is good think how tasty two would be...then we PM each other and laugh and laugh and laugh....

Offline mjmel

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2007, 09:03:07 pm »
No no no that is not how we play that game around here...it's more like geeze Benj if one box is good think how tasty two would be...then we PM each other and laugh and laugh and laugh....

 :D :D :D I can't help it! This thread is killing my side. I keep coming back to laugh again and again.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #12 on: April 12, 2007, 09:03:38 pm »
Benjala,

I want you to video your prune induced next visit to the poopy room and post it on GooTube.

Face shots please and good sound too. I wanna see the sweat on your brow.

MtD
(Who has his reasons) ;D

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #13 on: April 12, 2007, 09:10:26 pm »
I'm having a vision of me running to the bathroom... and then all you'll hear is, "Why?  WHY?  WHHHHHHHYYY?"

It would be more funny that way, I think.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #14 on: April 12, 2007, 09:10:54 pm »
No no no that is not how we play that game around here...it's more like geeze Benj if one box is good think how tasty two would be...then we PM each other and laugh and laugh and laugh....

Oh God.

The pooping.

The non-stop pooping.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #15 on: April 12, 2007, 09:12:42 pm »
Benj, darling,

With a very short commitment of your time I can train you in the art of binge-eatiing, providing up-to-date advice about such topics as "How many prunes are too many? (A whole box is nothing when you build up to it),"  "which type of Oreos create the most bizarre colored stools," and my personal favorite "Should I get this infinitesimal thimble of Ben and Jerry's or the 1/2 gallon of Walgreens mint chocolate chip ice cream instead, especially since both have about the same number of calories?"   These and many more invaluable lessons are available in a personally customized schedule based on your binge goals and lifestyle.   

Given your Kate Moss svelteness you'll obviously have to purge but I never learned that trick.  I was too greedy.  I'm sure you can figure that out by yourself, if you haven't yet.

"Because she's thin!"
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #16 on: April 12, 2007, 09:14:31 pm »
It would be more funny that way, I think.

Nope. Nothing is as funny as watching a twink doubled up on the brasco, groaning and praying for daylight. ;D

MtD
(Whose tastes are as varied as they are strange)

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #17 on: April 12, 2007, 09:15:33 pm »
It would be more funny that way, I think.

Nope. Nothing is as funny as watching a twink doubled up on the brasco, groaning and praying for daylight. ;D

MtD
(Whose tastes are as varied as they are strange)


......in tape face.

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #18 on: April 12, 2007, 09:16:20 pm »
Boo,

I don't have the required dedication for bulemia... although I was that young faggot who, upon learning about binging and purging, thought, "This is the answer to my prayers."

I'm more the binge and then artificially increase the metabolism type... which is also bad.  And also something I can't afford anymore.

Poop.

Tee hee.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #19 on: April 12, 2007, 09:17:11 pm »
i have problems with binge eating sometimes  :( :'( i hate it lol....but i can say if i had any type of ben and jerrys withough any lactaid i would DIE (being lactose intolerant sucks)

but give me 3 cheese danishes, a butterfinger, and some cool ranch potato chips, and a NY style pizza  any day :-D...oh or a brazo gitano (dont know what thats called in english)

:-O

-josh
(who knows thin is in and usually complies but sometimes he goes overboard after being good for a while)
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #20 on: April 12, 2007, 09:18:34 pm »

Nope. Nothing is as funny as watching a twink doubled up on the brasco, groaning and praying for daylight. ;D

MtD
(Whose tastes are as varied as they are strange)

Ha ha ha ha!

But I'm not a twink.  I'm far too awesome.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #21 on: April 12, 2007, 09:18:51 pm »
Thin people have value.

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #22 on: April 12, 2007, 09:18:59 pm »
Am I the only one here who forgets to eat?

Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #23 on: April 12, 2007, 09:20:19 pm »
But I'm not a twink.

Well OK, maybe not. But you could pass for one. ;)

MtD

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #24 on: April 12, 2007, 09:21:32 pm »
I used to forget to eat ....

but since ive been dedicated to the gym if i forget to eat i get dizzy, my blood sugar drops and i fall on the floor....

so i try to eat every few hours more-so when working out :-D

-josh
(who went down to 155 once on tuna fish and crackers for 3 months  :o)
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #25 on: April 12, 2007, 09:23:43 pm »
definitely could pass for a twink but i guess your more fabulous than the average twink haha


i started eating because im too old to be a twink...now i need to be a butch muscle boy hahaha (working on it)

-josh
(who is now 185 and hates to see the scale go up but is resisting the urge to become anorexic again lol)
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #26 on: April 12, 2007, 09:24:49 pm »


I'm on that new vodka and bologna diet. Baloney for you peasants.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2007, 09:26:43 pm by Dachshund »

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #27 on: April 12, 2007, 09:28:58 pm »
vodka diet sounds perfect for me :-D
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #28 on: April 12, 2007, 09:31:02 pm »

Well OK, maybe not. But you could pass for one. ;)

MtD

Maybe... but no one's ever accused me of being one in person.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #29 on: April 12, 2007, 09:32:17 pm »
definitely could pass for a twink but i guess your more fabulous than the average twink haha


i started eating because im too old to be a twink...now i need to be a butch muscle boy hahaha (working on it)

-josh
(who is now 185 and hates to see the scale go up but is resisting the urge to become anorexic again lol)

See, I prefer the skinny indie PoMo look.  Which I've been rocking since 2002, thank you very much.   ;)

If I see the scales go above 150, I start freaking out. 

It's great.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #30 on: April 12, 2007, 09:35:04 pm »
Maybe... but no one's ever accused me of being one in person.

Me neither. :(

MtD

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #31 on: April 12, 2007, 09:39:13 pm »
See, I prefer the skinny indie PoMo look.  Which I've been rocking since 2002, thank you very much.   ;)

If I see the scales go above 150, I start freaking out. 

It's great.

that look worked for me before...but im going for a "change" you know cant always keep the same look....

so im trying to put on some muscle for a change hehe....but im 6'1'' so 185 isnt too bad...155 was WAY TOO LOW

but yea i freak out every time i see it go up...im a bit obsessive but i guess so long as i dont put too much fat on in the process its ok...i can always go anorexic again if i dont like it lol
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #32 on: April 12, 2007, 09:45:33 pm »
Ha ha!  I'm like 5'9" on a good day, and I have a small build... so I don't weigh much.

And a little weight goes a long way on me.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #33 on: April 12, 2007, 09:49:47 pm »
you look good thin so you can stay that way  ;D
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #34 on: April 12, 2007, 09:54:47 pm »
you look good thin so you can stay that way  ;D

Thank you, good sir.

When I quit the blow... my metabolism crashed, and I put on the unholy amount of about 15 lbs in a month.

I like to have lost my shit.

But it's gone now.  Huzzah!
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #35 on: April 12, 2007, 10:07:41 pm »
keep eating prunes....it will make you lose weight...if you eat 5 boxes in 1 sitting youll lose 15 pounds haha
 or shit 15 anyways
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Strayboy74

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #36 on: April 12, 2007, 10:11:06 pm »
I'm always having cramps and diarrhea...  it sucks.  Anyway, I started, recently, eating dehydrated cranberries, and have also been on the raisin routine.  Haven't tried prunes... :)  sounds like a new adventure... maybe we could start a long-distance prune-eating ballet and enter it in the next gay olympics... I'll buy a couple boxes at the bodega tonight, in preparation.

man, this will be exciting! :)

-joseph

Offline Basquo

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #37 on: April 12, 2007, 10:12:42 pm »
Quote
but no one's ever accused me of being one in person.

If not for the ice storm, we in Austin would not only have accused you, we would've treated you like one.  Ever hear of a "spinner"?  :)

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #38 on: April 12, 2007, 10:15:28 pm »
If not for the ice storm, we in Austin would not only have accused you, we would've treated you like one.  Ever hear of a "spinner"?  :)

Ha ha ha ha!

That evil, evil ice storm... which was blamed on me.

I am still proud of the fact that I broke Texas.

What's a spinner?
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Basquo

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #39 on: April 12, 2007, 10:20:12 pm »
A spinner is someone short and svelte enough that you can sit them down on your unencumbered lap and give them a spin.

me entiendes?

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #40 on: April 12, 2007, 10:28:36 pm »
A spinner is someone short and svelte enough that you can sit them down on your unencumbered lap and give them a spin.

me entiendes?

Aaaahhh... I see.

Je te comprends.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Lis

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #41 on: April 12, 2007, 10:49:20 pm »
sorry i started to laugh too hard after the first few sentences....


God love ya....
poz 1986....

Offline swede_dish

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #42 on: April 12, 2007, 10:54:45 pm »
My great aunt Millie always recomended a healthy diet of whiskey and men.  As a wee thing I thought by men she meant that she was a cannibal but my sister (who at the prime age of 16 and all-knowing in the subject of sex...) informed me that she was talking about semen. So at 7 years old I was convinced aunt Millie hijacked ships and feasted sailors.  I had good imagination.
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

Offline Basquo

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #43 on: April 12, 2007, 10:57:53 pm »
sorry i started to laugh too hard after the first few sentences....

Thank You Lis for bringing it back around!  In my hijack,  I totally forgot to post that dried figs have twice the fiber and half the shit!
I need reigning in from time to time.

Offline Ann

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #44 on: April 13, 2007, 06:19:13 am »

My roommate and I now refer to prunes as "little Molotov cocktails of poop."


*note to self - NEVER sip coffee while reading a Benjthread. NEVER.*

Somebody hand me a towel, quick!

::)

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Offline budndallastx

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #45 on: April 13, 2007, 06:47:26 am »
Another benefit from eating all those prunes, no one can ever accuse you of being full of s**t ! ;D
Meds since: 11/20/2006
Sustiva / Truvada
12/08/2008 VL:<48 CD4 622 (38%)   
9/8/2008 VL:<48 CD4 573 (30%)
5/2008 VL:<48 CD4 464 (30%)
1/2008  VL: <50  CD4 425(28%)
9/2007   VL: <50  CD4 465 (27%)
6/2007   VL: <50   CD4 443 (26%)
3/2007  VL: <50   CD4 385 (25%)
12/2006 - VL: <50   CD4: 384 (25%)
11/2006 - VL:  22K  CD4: 208 (18%)

Offline penguin

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #46 on: April 13, 2007, 08:49:33 am »
two words for you, mr.

medjool dates

delicious. and yet so evil.  :)

kate

Offline Christine

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Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #47 on: April 13, 2007, 11:54:06 am »
Another lesson to learn...Don't run out of toilet paper, then run out of tissues, then run out of paper towels...

It's a problem...

Christine (who doesn't eat prunes, but is on ritonavir...)
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline Nico

  • Member
  • Posts: 262
Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #48 on: April 13, 2007, 08:30:06 pm »
Benj,
Oh dear God all mighty!  The slip is backed up with Benj poop..another for Richmond!  I wondered why the Omni said flush at your own risk.  You bitch!  Well the next trip to Richmond must include you for a drink...or knowing you several down at the slip.

Keep clean and wipe with caution.  8)

Hugs
Rog
Poz since 1990.

Offline aupointillimite

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,233
  • FUS DO RAH!
Re: Man, I learned an awesome lesson the hard way!
« Reply #49 on: April 13, 2007, 08:42:25 pm »
There's a reason it's called Shockoe Bottom.

Tee hee.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

 


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