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Author Topic: WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS  (Read 9564 times)

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Offline deprivedlol

  • Member
  • Posts: 42
WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS
« on: April 13, 2014, 10:24:16 pm »
i thought that maybe joining the personals was a good idea...apparently not..is every man a judgmental jerk?? i mean seriously if you're in the same position as i am you really don't have the right to be.  i always thought that my status was what was holding me back from finding a good man.  i have no problems getting attention from guys.  i'm hit on pretty regularly but usually just blow it off because i dont feel like being bothered with telling my ugly truth anymore. the jerks on here are just as ignorant as neg guys. i guess it's time to just give up dating all together....sigh
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Offline Lane

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  • Posts: 12
Re: WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2014, 06:34:26 pm »
You know having a positive status can be a hard thing to deal with. But I want to encourage you not to give up on dating. You need to take time to focus on yourself and loving you first and if it is meant to be love will come knocking at your door. Do not put all men in the same bracket but treat each new one that comes into your life with the benefit of the doubt. I know it will be hard but cheer up, everyday is not going to be the same. There are many young ladies who have found love after being diagnosed with HIV. What you need is to have a good friend to chat with and to share your experiences. Do not only use the forums to find a man but use it as a gateway to help others who are newly diagnosed which can also help you as well. Its never a waste of time. I could be your friend to chat with if you like. --Lane  :)
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Offline deprivedlol

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  • Posts: 42
Re: WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2014, 09:13:54 pm »
Hi Lane,

Thanks for the kind words.  I'm just frustrated.  I have NEVER had a normal loving relationship and I feel like I'm just not supposed to I guess.  I feel like I've already paid the price for bad things I've done in my past so why shouldn't I be entitled to be happy with someone  Everyone deserves to be happy. For once in my life I would like to know what its like to be able to trust someone and be able to turn to them for advice and comfort.  I've never had that with anyone. I have so much to give but no one ever gives me a chance to show them.

N
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Offline Lane

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  • Posts: 12
Re: WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS
« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2014, 01:49:41 pm »
I know how you feel but just try to focus on other things for now.
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Offline danaken

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  • Posts: 1
Re: WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2014, 01:58:29 pm »
I've tried the personal a few times over the years with the same results...men that seem to think we women will lower our standards because we're positive.  I thought it would be a site were I could meet men who just happened to be in the same situation.  The majority seem to be looking for just a hook-up, not an actual relationship.  The 3 times I was on the site, I had 3 different user names but pretty much the same profile and always had the same tired men trying to talk their game.

Dating doesn't even seem worth it when you're positive. You can either choose from the very shallow & small pool of positive men or deal with the risk of rejection from negative men.  It is sad....
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Offline deprivedlol

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  • Posts: 42
Re: WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2014, 12:37:13 pm »
well in the months since ive been on here things have not gotten easier...although i have revealed my status more often and with less hesitation...seems to be a little bit of a relief in a way...i like to tell ppl upfront now rather than waiting...that way you see what kind of person you're dealing with...all online of course...never in person...and the ppl i talk to are always out of the area i live for confidentiality reasons in case things go to shit...idk...i'm still alone...whether i find someone who will deal with this and me in general i have no idea...but im not ready to give up just yet
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Offline Lane

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  • Posts: 12
Re: WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2014, 07:31:07 am »
Well that is a good attitude to have. However, is there not like a HIV support group you can go to in your area, so that you can feel more easy in your spirit and perhaps meet someone as well. I have found from my experience that online works for some but not for all. I want to encourage you to not limit your self to online people.
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Offline deprivedlol

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  • Posts: 42
Re: WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2014, 11:30:55 am »
idk there might be one but i'm such a hypocrite Lane...im scared to death to be with someone like me..thought about it for a while but decided i'm too paranoid
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Offline Lane

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  • Posts: 12
Re: WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS
« Reply #8 on: August 07, 2014, 10:29:32 am »
We all fear something in life but sometimes the best way to get over it is by facing up to it. I guess your thoughts on being with someone like yourself was shaped by how you probably perceived HIV before you knew you were positive. Life is about getting up after a bad fall you know. Spend time meditating on your life who you were before you knew you were positive to now that you know you are. Hope this helps. Lane  ;)
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Offline deprivedlol

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  • Posts: 42
Re: WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS
« Reply #9 on: August 12, 2014, 04:25:32 pm »
LOL   who I was before this?...a drunken mess...there are YEARS I dont remember...well things are looking up these days..i decided that telling neg. men has become much easier..i just drop the bomb right away and see what happens...met 2 guys and had  2 actual dates in July...both turned out to be complete morons...but now i'm talking to someone new and we'll see how that goes...he seems to be very accepting of my status which is really great...and i "met" him online too  LOL

N
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Offline WhenWhereWhyHow

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  • Posts: 19
Re: WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS
« Reply #10 on: August 14, 2014, 09:48:38 am »
A picture might help...
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Offline Jeff G

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  • Member
  • Posts: 17,064
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS
« Reply #11 on: August 14, 2014, 10:00:57 am »
Hi When ... you are not allowed to post in the woman's forum ... just so you know .  ;)
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Offline idee

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  • Posts: 319
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Re: WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS
« Reply #12 on: August 15, 2014, 01:16:34 am »
Don't give up, just take a break. Leave a profile on a dating site and check it once a week.
I met my husband online ten years ago. We're not the perfect couple and I complain online here. Today I realized I am not as bad off. He doesn't hit me. He just likes to stay in the house watching tv. He is a home body! We are different personalities.
I just need to learn to communicate better. He also needs to learn to choose better quality friends.
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Offline Lane

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  • Posts: 12
Re: WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THIS WAS
« Reply #13 on: August 16, 2014, 08:13:16 pm »
I am happy deprivedlol that you are getting out and dating hope everything works out well for you.  :D
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