Fitness Journey

[RobbyR]

So this is something I am determined to overcome, but it's hard..I am trying to get back into the gym thing and get myself fit once and for all, but it's discouraging. I go to a gym, and everyone literally everyone I see save for one or two people are ripped and muscular and I have to wear a sweatshirt and hoodie meanwhile because I'm so skinny. How do you overcome gym anxiety? I know they don't care what I look like, but it doesn't stop me feeling self conscious. Thing is, I have overcome a ton in the past year or two, getting my life together, and rarely am self conscious anymore, except for a gym, maybe because you are more exposed there..

I will go to a gym, but I am so out of shape and weak that I literally can't do more than a few basic exercises, and I am out of breath, and my form sucks. I can't even hardly lift the bar for a bench press let alone weights on it.  So, I am attempting to use a trainer and see if I can get to a certain level and then try the gym on my own. Trainers aren't cheap though, the one I am speaking with charges 55 dollars a session, which isn't terrible, and it's a session/by/session so that's nice.
Sometimes I think a workout buddy would help, but I dont have one. So maybe the trainer will. I'm totally willing and dedicated, but self conscious. Keep telling myself everyone has to start somewhere. I just always feel like I am spinning my wheels and am clueless when I go to a gym. So that's why I am trying a trainer. Ideally what I'd like is to workout regularly and make friends I could workout with and keep each other accountable.

[leatherman]

try Planet Fitness. it's $10 a month and only a small portion of the clientele are "ripped"

[CaveyUK]

Or Anytime Fitness, if you have one near you - as it's a 24hr gym so you can go whenever you feel like it and if it's like the one I go to, there are some times when the place is literally empty.

and we have had this conversation before Robby, but I really think you are going to the wrong sort of gym. Instead of going to ones full of ripped blokes, try targeting the one your average middle aged housewife may go to. You will find all shapes and sizes at more 'regular' gyms.

[RobbyR]

This is one last obstacle I really want to prove to myself I can overcome. My fear of gyms and overcoming the fear of being teased until I can get fitter. Here's what I did..I have take some action..I met with a very nice guy who owns a gym and is a trainer. I really liked it. But, true to form, tonight, at the last minute, when I was supposed to meet with him for training, I pulled up, all dressed in my exercise clothes, and saw these college girls coming out, and this huge ripped guy going in. I just had a mini panic attack. I called the guy and said I "decided to train with a friend" and "could I maybe get a refund", which is a complete lie. I just freaked out seeing the fit people going in and coming out and my panic-driven fight or flight kicked in and I bailed. I immediately felt horrible for doing it. The guy probably thinks I'm a spineless fool. But people don't get how debilitating body image anxiety is. Anyway, I guess I will call him up tomorrow and be like, maybe be honest with him, tell him I just had a mini meltdown and that I am struggling with worrying about what other people will think of me in a gym. If he still thinks I'm worth his time, maybe he will let me come back. I already paid for a month's worth of training, 325 dollars. But I just freaked at the last minute, which I often do.

[leatherman]

I already paid for a month's worth of training, 325 dollars. But I just freaked at the last minute, which I often do.

Isn't getting into a situation like this, just setting yourself up to fail? You're setting up an obstacle that you may very well never overcome with your body image anxiety. You really should consider trying a different, and cheaper, option - an option that caters to people like you and not to the type of people you are unrealistically comparing yourself to. You'll be happier and end up healthier (emotionally, mentally, and physically), with more cash in your pocket.

(a whole year costs me a third of what you're paying for only one month - $120 a yr a PF versus $3900 a yr at the rate you're paying.)

The local PF I go to is near the local university so there are a number of buff younger people there; but there are so a lot of overweight and older people there too. I guess I could go around the corner to Gold's Gym but those very muscular guys and gals are into a totally different fitness mindset (trying to be big, muscled, and ripped) than myself and the people at PF, who are simply trying to get our bodies into shape and to be healthier.

[CaveyUK]

Robby Robby Robby....

Please find a 'normal' gym full of 'normal' people and not hardened gym goers, ripped guys and people strutting around and admiring themselves in the mirror.

And please disconnect your gym going from your hook-ups (if thats what this guy was you refer to). The kind of guys you will 'meet' who are 'into' gyms - or even own them - are likely to gravitate to the wrong sort of gym.

Until you do the above, then I think it's less about body image issues and more about the choices you are making.

I have body issues too...I'm a fat bastard. Occasionally when in the gym when I see a ripped guy glancing over I feel crappy, but that lasts only seconds until I look around and see other fat, skinny or oddly shaped people doing their best to improve their fitness.

I'd last about 10 seconds in some industrial hard-core gym or one full of gym-bunnies. Give me a general usage gym with all sorts of people in it, where no-one gives a toss about what you do or don't look like! I think you should do the same.

[bocker3]

Robby,

Maybe you are going about this in the wrong way.

If your body image anxiety is this debilitating, i.e. causing you to be willing to "throw away" $325, perhaps you should be working on THAT before working on getting fitter in a gym.

I suspect that you will continue to have this anxiety no matter how "fit" you are.  The thing with body image issues is that you don't actually see yourself in the proper way. 

An extreme of this is with anorexia nervosa.  When I was in college one of my fellow Medical Technology students was dealing with this.  She was, literally, skin and bones, but thought she was overweight.  The most I saw her eat was a salad.  I don't know what ultimately became of her, as she ended up dropping out of school in our third year.

Bottomline -- you may want to start with some therapy to help you with this body image issue.  I don't see how you will be able to overcome this without some help - especially when you consider how many times you have gone through, basically, this very scenario in the last year or so.  If you already are doing therapy on this -- what does your therapist say about your attempts to join a gym??

Mike

[MitchMiller]

You may not have the luxury of free time, but if possible, you could experiment going to the gym at different times of the day. 

My gym is mostly retirees (lots of us here in Las Vegas) in the afternoons until about 4:00pm, when the work crowd starts filtering in.  At least half of the afternoon crowd (men and women) look very average for someone over 55.  There are a few morbidly obese people and some with disabilities.  A few walk with a cane and one guy is almost blind.  I saw a guy moving from machine to machine on his motorized wheelchair last week.

[CaveyUK]

You may not have the luxury of free time, but if possible, you could experiment going to the gym at different times of the day. 

My gym is mostly retirees (lots of us here in Las Vegas) in the afternoons until about 4:00pm, when the work crowd starts filtering in.  At least half of the afternoon crowd (men and women) look very average for someone over 55.  There are a few morbidly obese people and some with disabilities.  A few walk with a cane and one guy is almost blind.  I saw a guy moving from machine to machine on his motorized wheelchair last week.

Now THAT'S my kind of gym

[mecch]

RobbyR I agree with the opinion that pre-paying was not a great idea, and your gym sounds wrong for you. But you might as well give it the "college try" to get some value for your money.  Meanwhile, think about another gym.  Also you don't have to even go to a gym to be fit. You could: walk, bike, and/or swim, for example.
Remember you are always socially anxious and always worried about others opinions to the detriment of yourself. Its your cross to carry, it seems, so there is only so much you can do.  You've been putting yourself out there a lot in the last year so congratulate yourself on the success to compensate for the any new challenges you set yourself and just keep reminding yourself that 1/2 of this is in your head.

[leatherman]

Now THAT'S my kind of gym

I had been going to PF regularly until I moved in with my boyfriend (now my husband of 19 wks ). I got out of the habit of going to the gym during the move and eventually didn't go back for a whole year (there was a wasted $120 ). About 5 weeks ago, I got a friend to go with me and we've been going 4-5 times a week now. My friend got his mom, his aunt, and their neighbor to start going with us. Starting today, we've got another friend joining us. (She was the volunteer coordinator at the local ASO we used to go to.)

Slowly but surely, we're taking over our gym. LOL This definitely is my kind of gym.

[mecch]

That sounds lovely Leatherman