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Author Topic: Very confused (and scared). Mutual masturbation with fluid exchange.  (Read 3348 times)

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Offline david.madrid

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Hello from Spain,

  I came across your website this morning and I'm finding it really insightful. So first things first, thank you all for being here.

  I'm a man who some 10 days ago had an encounter with another man. Said encounter consisted of mutual masturbation and kssing only; that is, no penetrative sex. However, at the moment of ejaculation, the other person shot part of his load on my penis, which he used as lubricant to continue masturbating me to orgasm.

   At first, I found the experience playful and agreeable. However, a few hours after, I felt paranoid about the possibility of having exposed myself to a risky event for HIV infection, given that I had no clue about my partner's HIV status. After consulting tons of information online, most of it from alledgedly trusted sources, my anxiety just got worse from reading contradictory information. The most critical sites state that, in the presence of bodily fluids that come into contact with mucous membranes like the penis urethra, glans, and foreskin (I'm uncircumcided), masturbation is no longer a safe practice, especially in cases of high viral loads.

  On my wait to getting tested in 3 weeks, I would really appreciate your orientation in terms of: are there documented cases of HIV infection in cases like mine? What can I do to stop torturing myself? I guess my mental health is compromised here because my fear is probably irrational and it's getting out my hands.

  Thanks much,

David

Online Jim Allen

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Hiya,

HIV is incredibly fragile, highly limited and sexually only transmitted inside the confines of the human body, an example of this would be intercourse.

Contact through touching or rubbing with skin, fluids, etc is not an HIV risk to you and hence nobody has ever acquired HIV the way you fear.

Relax, move on with your life.

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection going forward.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

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HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
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Offline david.madrid

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Hi Jim,

   True, I had heard before about the fragility of the virus outside of the human body after just a few minutes, but I was definitely far less confident about fresh sperm being directly poured onto sensitive skin tissues, in my case, like that of the penis opening, or the inner side of my foreskin. So, I thought I should put a number to my risk exposure based on real data -however crazy this may sound, but information out there was very confusing and, therefore, frustrating and stressful. In this sense, I'm glad and thankful to be talking to you now in order to manage my expectations / ease my mind.

   Totally agree with you that people should always use barrier measures for intercourse and have regular STD check-up's.

    Thanks much again,

David

   

Online Jim Allen

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You're welcome
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

My Instagram
Threads

Offline david.madrid

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Hi Jim, all,

    I hope everybody's doing well these days. Just wanted to follow up on my previous post.
 
    Having passed 3 weeks since the encounter I described, I went to visit a support group in my community in order to have a face-to-face talk on sex life and STIs. These are the things I learned, which I would like to share with you: 

* The importance of testing regularly. If you are sexually active and are a man who has sex with other men, like I am, then you should probably test every 6 months -not only for HIV, but also for other STIs. This is key for the early detection of some infections and, therefore, for having better outcomes with any treatment. Plus, it can also be a great source of peace of mind.

* However tempting googling a situation is, do not. At some points this year, I became really obssesive about searching on the Internet about all-things illness, which only worsened my anxiety. In piecing together contradictory and often times fatalistic information, I've ended up with episodes of deep sadness, insomnia, and lack of concentration. For sure, too many to handle. In all those moments, I hardly recognize myself. Whether this is part of the psycological toll of the current pandemic or something, my advice to you is that you reach out for help and expert counselling instead of searching online. For what it's worth, I just had my first appointment ever with a psychologist.

* I know we don't discuss physical symptoms here, but sometimes, they are a true nightmare. Ten days ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with a burning mouth and terrible itchiness on my back. My tongue was swollen and my back was covered with little red pimple-like lesions that itched like hell. I've never had skin issues before. I went to the doctor, who told me that the breakout was compatible with allergy symptons and prescribed antihistamins until it resolved. When I asked him about a possible connection between my symptons and an STI, he ditched the idea and asked me to take it easy. My point being: until I saw the doctor, I expected the worse without a justified reason. Mind you, I still have the breakout, I'm just trying not to freak out too much about it -skin is apparently sensitive to stress and anxiety and it becomes a virtuous circle. Finally, the guys at the community center also told me that, in their experience and contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of people who tested positve for HIV never showed symptoms at all. Again, the importance of regular testing. 

* Last but not least, the social counsellor runned an HIV antibody test, along with rapid tests for syphillis and gonorrhea (day 22). They came out negative. Although the result was not conclusive for HIV yet, he told me that it pointed in a good direction. After assessing the risk from my encounter, he said he would do the HIV test because he felt as though it would help me ease down my anxiety. He also asked me to think about taking PrEP, which is relatively new here in Europe. He stressed that PrEP should never be regarded as a subsititute for protected sex. Plus, it does not protect agains all kinds of HIV, not to mention all other STIs. However, for people feeling overly anxious like me and willing to adhere to the treatment, it can be a nice option.

   I'm sorry for such a long post. I guess I'm trying to put my fears behind me by sharing with you all my experience and the things I'm learning on the way.

   Cheers,

David

Online Jim Allen

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Hiya.

Look you did not acquire HIV from the events posted here.

I understand that you are stressed however I am not going to pretend what you posted is an issue or requires HIV testing as it would be a disservice not only to you but also to the HIV community.

Glad to hear that you are in contact with a psychologist to provide you support.

Remember to use condoms, consider PrEP for the future and as you are sexually active test regularly, at the least yearly for STIs & HIV.

Jim

« Last Edit: April 07, 2021, 12:13:21 pm by Jim Allen »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

My Instagram
Threads

 


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