POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: spanishdude33 on January 20, 2012, 08:28:43 pm
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I just wanted to say hi to everyone on this forum and to say how helpful you have been over all this year since i was diagnosed in feb/2011. Needless to say that was the worst day of my life, I just wanted to die right there and even thought of commiting suicide. I just didnt expect my results would come back positive since I never had sex without a condom, I guess something wrong happened and I didnt notice. But with the support of my parents and thanks to all the information on the web I started to feel better and more relieved and even optimistic. I am not on meds yet since my numbers are not that bad and besides guidelines here in Europe are not exactly the same as in the States as you probably know.
I just wanted you to know how extremely helpful you are for a lot of people, not only for those who participate in the forums but also for a lot of people who dont :) . I would like to participate more often myself but Im shy since I am not a native speaker in English, so sorry for the mistakes ::). Kss.
Feb 2008: tested neg.
Feb 2011: positive. Cd4 540, 31%, vl 10000
Jul 2011: cd4 740, 27%, vl 8500
Nov 2011: cd4 650, 23%, vl 13500. (tested during a cold)
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Welcome. Glad you're dealing with this so well. Don't be shy, your writing is better than a lot. ;D
Wolfie
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Just wanted to say Hi to you, and not to be shy because everyone one on this forum is great and know what there talking about. I have found many friendly people on here that helped me out a lot and so will you.
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Hi Spanishdude,
You're not alone in thinking you were always safe, nor in having suicidal thoughts upon diagnosis. I can relate with you on both counts buddy. But a year on, things are much better, right ?
This forum has helped me a lot in coming to terms with everything.
Look forward to your participation on the forums!! Welcome.
PS- Your English is fine btw. :)
PPS- Offtopic, but I think all Spaniards (men and women) are genetically HOT! ;)
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Hey, thank you all for your words. Definately Im handeling this situation better than I ever imagined, but there are a lot of moments that I feel very sad and I cant help to think that this should have never happened to me... And when I am in bed with someone I have this feeling of guiltiness because I know what I have but I cant just tell because that would be such an embarrasing situation... Its curious but people find me now more attractive than ever but i think to myself I may be handsome but inside I'm rotten, well these are the issues Im still dealing with... I read this forum every night before going to sleep and its like a bubble of oxygen so thanks because I feel you as part pf my life ;)
P.S. Spacebarsux I dont quite agree with you on your opinion of all the Spaniards being hot but its true some of them are veeery hot ;D
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WOW tears in my eyes reading that.
I to read this at night and it gives me hope.
I had a fun time in early September last year (Spring here is Australia) and got sick late September. Hoping once again I had dodged a bullet ..... not this time round
One of four possibilities which is doing my head in.
I was told I was + on November 29 2011. Age 38
So it's been 8 weeks tomorrow ekkkkk
Surprisingly I'm doing ok
I've had two lots of blood taken
29/11/2011 CD4 670 CD%12 VL 60800
05/01/2012 CD4 640 CD%17 VL 80900
Next test is in March.
This forum is really great its helping me rap my head around this thing.
Thanks for all of your stories.
And thanks Spanishdude because your story is exactly how I'm feeling :)
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Definately Im handeling this situation better than I ever imagined, but there are a lot of moments that I feel very sad and I cant help to think that this should have never happened to me...
First of all, welcome to the site! Many of us deal with situations better than we would imagine once we find ourselves in the midst of them. Best of luck to you moving forward with this.
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Spanishdude welcome to the forum! Your numbers look good. I can understand how you feel about the need to convey your status. But you are no different then someone who is negative. Just ensure you are protecting yourself and the other person if you do care to engage in sexual relations with someone. Also I undertand EU and US guidelines for when to start medications are different but don't you feel it is important to go on medication to not only to prevent the virus for damaging your immune system any further then it already has? but also to lessen the probability of passing the virus to someone else by keeping the viral load level very low to undectable in your body if you did engage in a sexual relationship with someone? You and your doctor are obviously the ones who will make that decision to what is best for you. Just thought I'd share and see your thoughts.
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Hi!
Thanks Hope-for-a-cure for your words. Batman, sorry for your diagnosis but we must think things have changed a lot and maybe we're not far from a functional cure, who knows? Maybe the next decade, and if not, the current combos are excellent and improving. All the best for you as well. Csguy, sure I will protect myself in every sexual intercourse I'll ever have , I always did because I don't understand sex without protection, except with my partners, now I'm aware I will never have sex without a rubber again but that is not a matter for me. And of course I don't want by any means to pass my virus to anyone else, so I'll keep on playing safe, as I said in my first post something wrong must have happened in my case since I never played unprotected... As far as the meds go, we are supposed here in Europe to be starting meds when the cd4 level is in their 350's, I'm sure I'm not waiting that long, but my doctor said last time we had to wait because my situation was pretty good, besides I'm still dealing with some other issues of the diagnosis and I'm not sure I would be able to face the probable side-effects the medication may cause right now, so I'll wait a few more set of labs and then we'll see... The best for you as well. Hugs ;)