Confused99:
Hello, I am a man in the Seattle area, married to a woman. I have been curious though about coming to a gay bath house for a while, and I satisfied said curiosity Monday night. I did not want to have any contact, as I wanted to keep it safe for my and my wife's sake.
I however ended up having a guy masturbate me for a few seconds, potentially with same hand with fluids he was using on himself.
With another guy, I masturbated him and touched his testicles and buttocks, and kissed nipples. I rubbed my cock against his leg and waist area, his cock also rubbed same area (no penis contact). He ended up cumming for this frotting but not in my body, however, I felt some of his cum ended up in my hand which was in my penis, and I am pretty sure a couple drops may have ended up in my penis head. I am terrified it could have gotten into my urethra and be an STI risk. I am testing for other STIs today, but of course I won't be able to do so for HIV.
I know HIV is fragile and hand to genital contact are a no risk event, but I'm this situation, his semen may have landed in my urethra freshly as he cummed, not some semen on his hand or body that was there for a few seconds/minutes.
My wife is unaware of this and we have regular unprotected sex. Is there any risk I may pass something (HIV for this forum porpoises) onto my wife because of my experience above?
Should I stop unprotected sex until I test?
Jim:
Hiya.
I read your post three times, carefully and you had zero HIV risk from the activities mentioned here at the bathhouse.
--- Quote ---I am testing for other STIs today --- End quote ---
Although, of course, you had a risk for far easier to transmit STIs, firstly I see no need to run out and test outside of your yearly routine every time you have sexual contact, also this exposure was Monday and today is Thursday, so, it's far too soon to test post-exposure for most STI's, not to mention that as a man, there is no reliable tests for things like HPV.
--- Quote --- I am terrified it could have gotten into my urethra and be an STI risk. --- End quote ---
Even just rubbing against each other was an STI risk, no fluids needed or contact with your urethra to pass on things like herpes, that can be passed on by skin-to-skin contact, even when there is no visible outbreak thanks to viral shredding. Thankfully, HIV isn't passed on like that, but certainly an STI risk.
--- Quote ---My wife is unaware of this and we have regular unprotected sex. --- End quote ---
If you engage in condomless intercourse with your partner, you are obviously at risk of acquiring HIV. In relationships, condomless sex is often based on trust or past test results; however, this does not prevent HIV, so if condomless sex does occur, you should consider testing more frequently.
Here's what you need to know to reduce your HIV risks: Use condoms for anal & vaginal intercourse correctly and consistently, with no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV and get vaccinated against HPV, Hepatitis A & B.
Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as safe in terms of acquiring HIV still pose a risk for other easier-acquired STIs. So please do get tested at least yearly for STIs, including but not limited to HIV, and more frequently if condomless intercourse occurs.
Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms; testing is the only way to know.
Kind regards
Jim
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Confused99:
Hi Jim,
Thanks for your reply.
Yes, I am aware it is relatively soon for other STIs, but I am mostly worried about gonorrhea, which should be safe to test 3-4 days later. I took doxy pep for syphilis and Chlamydia, and me and my wife are HPV vaccinated. HSV is possible too.
The comment on unprotected sex with my wife of course relied on negative bacterial tests in the next few days, but was concerning more a potential HIV contagion on myself that I could then pass on to her for this exposure in the bath house. I am positive we have no other risks except from this, hence me panicking and even unable to sleep at all. I am also fearing having sex with her now, although I think that is unwarranted.
Jim:
--- Quote ---HSV is possible too. --- End quote ---
yeah, and a load more as well.
--- Quote ---The comment on unprotected sex with my wife of course relied on negative bacterial tests in the next few days, but was concerning more a potential HIV contagion on myself that I could then pass on to her for this exposure in the bath house. I am positive we have no other risks except from this, hence me panicking and even unable to sleep at all. I am also fearing having sex with her now, although I think that is unwarranted. --- End quote ---
This falls under asked and answered already. Bathouse activities mentioned here, zero HIV risk to you and you don't sound like a total nutcase, so I presume you don't keep your wife locked up 24/7 in your basement.
Meaning, if you engage in condomless intercourse with your partner, you are obviously at risk of acquiring HIV. In relationships, condomless sex is often based on trust or past test results; however, this does not prevent HIV, so if condomless sex does occur, you should consider testing more frequently.
--- Quote ---I am also fearing having sex with her now, although I think that is unwarranted.
--- End quote ---
I don't know, there are plenty of I trusted my wife, girlfriend, partner, or husband stories that end with tears and HIV or STIs.
Anyhow, my job is just to provide safer sex information and point out the risks. Condomless sex with your wife means accepting a risk, its that simple.
Confused99:
Thanks Jim
I totally understand your advise and comments regarding condomless sex, even in closed relationships and I see where you are coming from.
I also understand you cannot warrant I can go ahead and have unprotected sex with her due to many other variables and factors.
So being concrete, even if this other man's semen, who I will assume HIV+ and untreated, got directly onto my glans and urethra from his ejaculation, it would still be 100% safe HIV wise Can I put this whole episode behind me and stop worrying about infecting myself and my wife from HIV from this very only episode? Can I keep my head clear and trust a negative result when I test in a few weeks, assuming this and only this contact?
Final question, why, would same fluid in same tissue (semen in urethra) be not a transmission vector if someone cums directly in it, but is is with penetrate sex, where body fluids also enter through the urethra?