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Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: ElZorro on December 02, 2010, 09:56:59 pm

Title: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 02, 2010, 09:56:59 pm: So, let's see how this works. NYC put the idea out there and the general consensus seems to be that this area of the forums is where those of us who are newly infected and getting a new perspective on "the rest of our lives" could do a bit of communing without being branded as naive, ignorant, full of false hope, etc.

Let's see if the experiment works... :P

A bit about me. I'm 45, live in God's "waiting room" (Florida), was infected and diagnosed July 2009, and started HAART almost one year ago (12/19). I've spent the last 18 months trying to understand 1) what the prospects for a "normal" life are 2) wondering if I'm going to die a miserable death alone, 3) adapting to taking meds and learning not to be too concerned about the fact that I have to take them forever.

So far, I think I've done relatively well. Medically speaking, the meds have performed miraculously. Aside from work and HIV, though, I haven't done much else for the last year. I'm still trying to figure out how to become "social" again. I don't really feel like "going out" because I don't really feel like "meeting" anyone because I don't want to have to deal with disclosure and rejection. (I disclosed to one guy who was reallly into me very early on and realized that was a huge mistake; you'd think I loaned him money from how quickly the calls stopped :-\) Part of me is a bit petrified that my status would get broadcast around town because I'm still dealing with a bit of shame for letting it happen. Of course, that's silly...mistakes happen, but I just don't feel like being the subject of gossip ;)

On the "upside", I had lunch with an old friend this week and ended up telling him about my status. It wasn't planned, it just came out. And, WOW! There was such a sense of relief to "let it out" (without tearing or choking up at all). He was asking me when I was ever gonna settle down and I skirted around the issue until being open just seemed like the only way to go. He was amazingly supportive and shared some information with me. Namely, that his partner of 10 years is poz and was newly poz when they started dating. After, I received an email thanking me for confiding in him and reassuring me that I don't have to worry about being single forever because his relationship is absolute proof that there are men out there who are capable of looking past an HIV+ status. Deep down, I hope that's true, but the jury is still out....

I'm an optimist and I do believe that, on some level, HIV will be defeated. I don't expect it will be anytime in the immediate future, but I think 10-15 years is reasonable. It's totally changed my life. And, ironically, in many ways, for the better. I seem to find that I focus more on the "good" in life and in people than on the negative. In the same way as when my son was born, this virus has made me take stock of my life, to recognize my own mortality, and to appreciate it.

I guess the next step is figuring out how to "get back out there" ::)

How about you? How are you adjusting?
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Gio on December 02, 2010, 10:18:11 pm: Uhmm i tested pos in oct 2010 infection probably in the spring dumb me for trustin... I over the med phase no aude effects was a downer. I am dealing with phsycholigical and social aspects... Any itch cough infection i quickly jump into conclusions.. So far told a friend he cried i laughed lol then he did his research and understood why i laughed.. If the shoe was reversed i would too... Slowly getting back into my olde routine gym work home normalcy stuff... Dating is a little more complicated it was before but now more soo non existant so not stressing.. As i told a friend it was a luck of the draw but no expiration date is stamped on me hell i think i am healthier than my best friend lol lol.. I laugh alot and dont sweat the small stuff
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 02, 2010, 10:22:59 pm: Quote from: Gio on December 02, 2010, 10:18:11 pm
i think i am healthier than my best friend lol lol..

It's funny you mention that, Gio. I said something similar to my doc a couple weeks back. What with the regular doctor visits and constant monitoring, if they could come up with some meds without any side effects, we could end up living longer than before :P
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Gio on December 02, 2010, 10:32:53 pm: Lol lol my doc thinks i am crazy... They did check my liver and kidney and no problems there lol lol.... Will be going in a couple of weeks for my cd4 and vl just to make sure its working.. Here is hoping for ud n high cd4 count... Oh funny thing my little brother is at least 10 years younger than me and is already takin heart med wth!!!!!
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Jeff G on December 02, 2010, 10:40:21 pm: What is this pick on the LTS day . You guys should be grateful for what we can tell you about HIV and even more grateful for what we don't tell you about how it really feels after you live with this disease 20 or 30 years . We have been giving some of you hope and support wether you realize it or not .
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Gio on December 02, 2010, 11:08:39 pm: Dont get me wrong i am extremely grateful..
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 02, 2010, 11:14:33 pm: Quote from: jg1962 on December 02, 2010, 10:40:21 pm
What is this pick on the LTS day . You guys should be grateful for what we can tell you about HIV and even more grateful for what we don't tell you about how it really feels after you live with this disease 20 or 30 years . We have been giving some of you hope and support wether you realize it or not .

:-\
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: woodshere on December 02, 2010, 11:38:08 pm: oooopppps, didn't realize that this was in the I Just Tested Positive and realize that I should not probably post here. Sorry
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: nychope1 on December 02, 2010, 11:47:33 pm: Come on now..that's just not so jg1962. No one on picking on anyone. Everything I have posted has gotten completely sand blasted. Everyone here is relatively helpful and I personally am so grateful to some of the folks here that were and continue to be so helpful. Just your comment in the middle of a thread where some of these members are bearing their soul and want maybe just to talk to the newly diagnosed for a minute should not be wrong and not make anyone here feel bad. This is exactly what I am talking about. I don't want sound advice right now I just want to chat with someone who was just diagnosed in the last year or so. What is the problem with that?

Anyway... I want to keep this thread on an up note.

El Zorro, I to am 45yo and live in Florida three months out of the year. Mostly in the summer. I know that sounds crazy but I love warm water. Actually hot water. I lived in LA for a bit but hated the Pacific.
Yes I must sound like a broken record on here. I feel a couple of well meaning posts that were really aimed at the younger crowd here was completely turned around and strangely diverted by a lot of members. I was pretty surprised at some of the backlash. I am a very empathetic person and a good friend and understand what some have gone through. They don't know my story and assumed that I was hatched and a minute ago.

Yeah I have only been diagnosed a little over a month but I have been closely around this disease for a long time. My best friend killed himself in 1996. I found him after he was dead for three days in his apartment. He had AIDS and wasn't doing well. My first cousin, my mother's sisters son died of AIDS in 1999. We were very close. Two other friends of mine that I worked with died.

Is that what I am supposed to talk about? The down and dirty truth about how terrible this shit is. So others here think I am real and know the deal? Well fuck that. I won't. I know it is better now. And I may be over zealous about it but I want the young girls and guys to know that what used to be doesn't have to be their reality. I am not wrong about that.

Thirty years is what, a couple of generations already? Fifteen years is a life time for a twenty year old. You can't expect to lay that heavy shit on some kid who is twenty something years old. It does no good in my eyes.

The disease has changed. Society has changed. We have changed.

Well, I am still dealing with being diagnosed. I am very grateful that my meds are not effecting me. Nothing I read here prior made it comforting to start them. Sorry but that's the truth. I think I messaged you El Zorro a few times privately and one other guy who I need to give a big hug to one of these days for really walking me through the thing. It shouldn't have to be like that.

I've been in a few long term relationships and have a great network of friends here in NYC so as of now I really don't feel bummed about looking for love. I'm just not in the mood right now. I on;y laid this all on one friend of mine. I'm just not that type of guy who likes to talk about bad news and illnesses and all. That's not me. People have enough crap in their lives. My bud is great and has been supportive. I made him sleep over the night I started Atripla. I am such a pussy. It was incredibly uneventful.

Ya know El Zorro, I am incredibly full of life the last few weeks. I don't know I feel euphoric and I feel strange saying that. Maybe cause all the stigma and taboo and side effects about all this just never came to fruition.

My doctor, who I adore, also had a lot to do with my attitude. He is constantly upbeat and reassuring and he has seen it all. I mean this guy was there in NYC from the start. I only wish he wasn't so old. He said he won't retire but he is in his seventies.

Okay... I will chill out. Thanks for being a cool guy. This thread meant a lot.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: woodshere on December 03, 2010, 12:11:38 am: Quote from: nychope1 on December 02, 2010, 11:47:33 pm
Thirty years is what, a couple of generations already? Fifteen years is a life time for a twenty year old. You can't expect to lay that heavy shit on some kid who is twenty something years old. It does no good in my eyes.
The disease has changed. Society has changed. We have changed.
I cannot disagree with you on this. But nychope1, although I had absolutely no problem accepting and overall adjusting to being poz, I can appreciate those who do. We all deal with crisis in different ways.

However, on this
Quote
but I want the young girls and guys to know that what used to be doesn't have to be their reality. I am not wrong about that.
Yes you are to a certain degree. Support and optimism must be tempered with reality. Our wonderful drugs are pure and simply chemotherapy. No one knows what is going to happen to our bodies after taking all these chemicals for 20, 30 yrs. Newly diagnosed need to know that some people have difficulty taking the meds. Those without insurance will have a much more difficult time financially. When I first joined after being diagnosed I found it important to hear from LTS, those infected in the mid to late 90’ and those just infected like me.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: nychope1 on December 03, 2010, 12:26:05 am: Honestly, Woodshere.. Qoute: "When I first joined after being diagnosed I found it important to hear from LTS, those infected in the mid to late 90’ and those just infected like me."
Who said it's not important? I feel like you saying that you are insinuating something?
Thanks for the response and I don't want to be rude but I have said over and over and over again that it is important to chat with, learn from and appreciate the LTS's. Nothing I have said or suggested deviates from that. Nothing. Where does one get that from? Really this is the last time I am defending that.
Anyway, this is not what this thread is about or why it was started.
Peace in the valley....
It's time for bed.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: wtfimpoz on December 03, 2010, 12:33:07 am: Quote from: jg1962 on December 02, 2010, 10:40:21 pm
What is this pick on the LTS day . You guys should be grateful for what we can tell you about HIV and even more grateful for what we don't tell you about how it really feels after you live with this disease 20 or 30 years . We have been giving some of you hope and support wether you realize it or not .

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly why NYC felt the newly infected need a forum just to ourselves.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: woodshere on December 03, 2010, 12:48:40 am: nychope1 I know you have said it is important. The internet is a wonderful thing however when conversing with people we do miss out on the body expressions, voice inflections and such that perhaps would clarify things a bit more. But when you start a thread about a possible Newbie forum that would exclude some, or tell people in so many words that if they disagree with you don't post in your thread it is easy to see some sort of discounting of others. I have seen and known many HIV+ people who have a difficult time accepting and living with their HIV and surround themselves with people just like them. This only makes it more difficult to move on. I am afraid a newbie thread would do the same. Also many newly infected people go on HIV overload gathering info from the internet and can't make heads or tails of it all. And if they only stick to one forum the newbie one they would miss excellent advice from the likes of jkinatl2 and others. I believe inclusion is far more productive than segregating.

edited for wording
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 03, 2010, 07:00:01 pm: Hey NYC...Hey WTF

WTF: Nice response. I had a similar one but opted for the "more is less" approach ;) Have you formed a fundraising company to cure this yet? I have great expectations for you!

NYC: you're right. You are nuts. Who wants to live here during just the summer? :P Of course, right now it's arctic by our standards...60s during the day and colder at night...Three days ago, I had to turn the air on. Last night I had to turn the heat on. I'm going to sell everything and move South and live with Hoover and Dr T ;)

I think what you posted about being infected and living in The City is interesting. Do you think that's helping you make the "adjustment"? Is HIV relatively "common" up there (probably a poor choice of words, but I'm too exhausted to do the whole synonym thing right now).

A few weeks back, I met someone from Ft Lauderdale (apparently, unbekownst to me, the gay mecca of the East Coast ;)). I was really impressed by him, his attitude, and how "at ease" he is with being infected. At one point, he remarked in so many words that HIV was pretty prevalent in that part of the State. Since I don't go out much anymore, I don't really have a pulse about the Tampa area. For the last several weekends, I've been planning to go out to some of my old "stomping grounds", but when the time comes, I come up with a good excuse not to... :P

Today was an excellent day. I wrapped up quite a few loose ends on a "project from Hell" and am positioned to have a productive week next week. As I said, it's "freezing" (from a Floridian's perspective) right now, so I'm going to just hunker down and watch movies. I've been working on a Sudoko game for a couple of years and have never finished it and might hack on that for awhile...anyone else play? I might be looking for some beta-testers :P
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: buginme2 on December 03, 2010, 08:57:33 pm: I would love to be freezing in florida right now!!
;)
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 03, 2010, 09:08:37 pm: Quote from: buginme2 on December 03, 2010, 08:57:33 pm
I would love to be freezing in florida right now!!
;)

C'mon down! (unless you're allergic to cats ;))

Actually, I'm heading up to Michigan for Christmas...always a pleasant reminder of why I live here! But, also, an excuse to wear my full length, black leather trenchcoat ;) (oops, I think my "inner queen" just slipped out)
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: hope_for_a_cure on December 03, 2010, 09:45:43 pm: Is South Florida getting crowded now that December has arrived? I see LOADS of traffic heading south on 95 here in SC but they could be heading other places too. Not trying to hijack the thread.

For what its worth, I am a Newbie still and enjoy chatting both with LTS folks as well as the newly diagnosed. I do think that since the shock of learning our new HIV status is still fresh with us, it gives some common ground that we identify with quite clearly.

I look to LTS friends for advice and encouragement and realize that things were so much different for them when they were first diagnosed. Mental scars from that are resident in many of them (can you blame em for that?). Many of them did not have but a few options and LOTS of them went through pain and suffering that we may not have to (due to the new meds available today).

True, with the newly diagnosed, there seems to be optimism given to us by our ID Specialists in many cases as well as literature we happen upon online or by other medium. I like to be optimistic but also like to stay grounded in reality. There is so much that is still unknown about HIV. OK, enough on that. As for as a special place for Newbies, its cool but please dont shut the door on advice from those LTS folks. Not everyone on these forums is going to present information in an eloquent or even (for the lack of a better word) nice way. For the most part, I seriously doubt their real intent is to be cruel, spiteful, or out right mean. There will always be a bully or two in the sandbox... thats just life.

I like the idea of a Newbie only place and I think it may add value for many. We have a lot to discuss as well as the LTS folks. To 'quasi' quote someone earlier, sage advice is also good and know that it may also be found on other threads. Just my 2 cents.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 03, 2010, 10:02:27 pm: OMG, Hope! We are getting swamped!!! lol.... I think the Statue of Liberty gets the tired, the poor, and the tired masses, but we get the old and the Canadians! (but we love 'em). You definitely have to adjust your driving habits this time of the year if you want to get anywhere in one piece ;) I guess it's a good sign that so many people have the luxury of living as "snow birds".

Poor NYC ???. He really took a beating over his post. He's a really nice guy if folks would give him a chance. He's adjusting like the rest of us and wasn't trying to lambaste anyone out here. He was just recommending a spot for folks who are still trying to wrap their heads around HIV to talk to each other about what their going through now. From the (non-vile) responses he got, it seems like this is the appropriate location. I think the "just tested" part of the title didn't make that really obvious until folks pointed it out. Thus this "experiment".

We've got HIV and that's a fact and it's not going to change anytime soon. But, those of us who are new can compare what we're going through and provide support to one another based on our current experiences. I, too, like the idea of being able to get together and share what's going on and discuss this journey together. I think it's a valid point that LTS and Women have different issues that they are dealing with, but so do we. So why not try to develop some comradery and share our experiences? And, we get the extra benefit of being able to ask many of the LTSs for advice on issues. I don't see where it's a loss for anyone. In fact, it might even end up raising the active number of members from an average that seems to hover somewhere between 10 and 15 at any given time.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: hope_for_a_cure on December 03, 2010, 10:05:20 pm: I will play in the Newbie sandbox! lol
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: nychope1 on December 03, 2010, 11:04:55 pm: I think I am going to cry! But I except this award on behalf of all those who survived a pummeling here. I would like to thank God, my agent... my doc of course, my pharmacist, my bartender, my doorman, my chihuahua. Good night all. Love you.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 03, 2010, 11:10:09 pm: Quote from: nychope1 on December 03, 2010, 11:04:55 pm
I think I am going to cry! But I except this award on behalf of all those who survived a pummeling here. I would like to thank God, my agent... my doc of course, my pharmacist, my bartender, my doorman, my chihuahua. Good night all. Love you.

"Don't cry, ShopGirl" ;)

The "award" cannot be accepted online. You are expected to host a party in The City where we will present it to you. And, we expect Carrie Bradshaw and her friends to be present.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Danny47 on December 04, 2010, 01:31:06 am: Hey Zorro, being an ex-Floridian I can testify that anything under 70 is just plain too cold for beach weather. I can understand. Imaging now being Cuban and living in Georgia were today we had weather in the low 40s all day! I am 49 now, was diagnosed last year at age 47 (bday in nov.) It is by far something not simple and easy to go through. But there's a phrase that I learned recently and it says that "Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you handle it" This has become my motto and my best advice to you. To me, this forum became my daily friend. My partner, whom I met 2 weeks prior to my diagnosis, stayed with me along the way. My whole health picture is a bit more complicated than most, but my motto continues to be the same. Also, I firmly believe that our overall attitude plays a crucial part on our well being and most importantly, our immune system.

So chin up. Be responsible with your treatment and your condition, keep your gym routine as religion and play by ear whom you tell. I found out that for me, I am as open about it as I am about being gay, but yet, I have NOT told my Mom (and we have a very close relationship) partly due because she hated the person that infected me. and I use to be open about getting tested with all of my partners. I showed him my negative when we met, and he told me he was neg and I trusted him. As luck has it I was on a year long cortisone treatment for UC (being HIV+ and not knowing) so when I got tested My CD4 count were on 120, meaning AIDS, then Lymphoma, chemotherapy, then colon cancer, chemotherapy, radiation. Now a year and a half later, my bone marrow is finally left alone and I should start on my way to recovery. But all along my Atripla kept me a little over 200 (my lowest) during all that time and the most important part is that I continue to have my VL < so it means that start to recover again. My cancer is gone, my UC is in remission and for some odd reason my HIV is the least of my worries for as long as I keep my attitude in good spirits.

Be healthy....and you will be well...
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Hellraiser on December 04, 2010, 02:40:01 am: Honestly this thread feels a little bit like "they have a place where they can be free of us, why can't we have a place where we can be free of them?". I still read the LTS forums and if I want to partake in the conversation I just PM anyone. Usually though the topics are of little interest to me other than wellwishing the folks suffering from complications due to the old meds.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: nychope1 on December 04, 2010, 04:19:34 am: Quote from: ElZorro on December 03, 2010, 11:10:09 pm
"Don't cry, ShopGirl" ;)

The "award" cannot be accepted online. You are expected to host a party in The City where we will present it to you. And, we expect Carrie Bradshaw and her friends to be present.

A party huh? I can produce a tacky Carrie Bradshaw and expect her to have an adams apple.

Now a PSA to the newly infected. The newly diagnosed. The new to this forum. The partakers in this thread: I don't want to open an old wound but feel a responsibility to clarify a popular new saying that I coined that was completely misinterpreted and, in some cases, used as a tool to make false points. To be fair, unless one goes way back on some threads yesterday you may have missed why I originally used it.

The famous "no big deal" was used to respond to a member who was nervous about taking meds. He was freaking, as I did a short time ago shortly before starting meds. Ya know, will I get lipo, will I become psychotic over night, will I grow a babies arm out of my back. The questions we run through our minds over and over again. So I used "no big deal" to ease and take some of the nervousness and apprehension out of the equation.

No words help that feeling until you just do it and find out yourself. The words "no big deal" applied to taking the meds. Not the meds themselves. That is important. Taking the meds. Not the meds themselves and definitely not HIV. No where and at no time did I ever say HIV is no big deal. It is.

Meds are a big deal yes. I do believe any substance you put in your body everyday for possible life is a big deal. If you are in this forum I assume you are now positive and that is the message from me to you. If you are not positive and have nothing better to do than hang around this joint, meds are a big deal and if you don't need them don't end up having to take them.

Now having clarified that, though if my experience here proves anything it will again be taken the wrong way, I want to also say this:
I don't mind taking meds personally. I've been drinking for thirty years. I smoked in the past. I did recreational drugs. I love red meat. I've been polluting my body with one thing or another forever. Maybe that's why I have tolerated these meds so well. And for me taking them is no big deal. I have no choice. That's what sucks. I don't care what these meds will do to me if I am still on them in twenty or thirty years. As long as I am healthy now. I just don't like having to do something. That's me. I do believe that these meds may actually save me from myself. I have limited my beer and bourbon and am on a better schedule and just may live longer than I otherwise might have. Then again I ride motorcycles with no helmet in states with no helmet laws and never wear seat belts. Anything can happen. I made it this far and I look pretty damn good if I do say so myself.

To wrap up: to those who are thinking about the bad things that will happen the night you take your meds; You may not sleep well. You may feel crappy as you adjust. You may need to give it a few days. You may have to change them eventually. But I promise no babies arms growing out of your back, no mental ward, no facial problems and no big deal. Respect the meds but don't be afraid of them. They are your new friends. They may actually help you sleep. They help me sleep though I stayed up too late tonight.

If you have friends that are bb'ing tell them their luck will run out and they are playing with fire. They don't want this. Be a leader and be tough and tell them. If you think you know someone who may be infected drive it home that the sooner they find out the healthier they will be. Early detection means so much. Do you really want a friend to be in this forum and have to read this crap by someone like me? Yikes!

Fuck.. I got to get back to bed. This is Night number 28 on Atripla. Can this just be one of those bad dreams? Possibly.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 04, 2010, 05:23:55 am: @Danny: Sorry to hear about all the added health issues that you have to deal with in addition to HIV. That has to totally bite. I hope things continue to get better for you. As to your partner, it's very heartening to hear from someone else who's in a committed relationship despite HIV. Personally, I think (know?) that I'm letting the stigma of HIV prevent me from getting "out there" and getting "caught" despite the fact that I'm supposedly a pretty "good catch" (still not sure what that means :P ). I think that, on one level, not "mingling" is one way of not having to be subjected to possible rejection. Of course, it also means not being available if the right guy is ready and looking. A bit of a self-created catch-22.

Pre-HIV, I was pretty ignorant of the disease. I only "dated" one guy who was positive and it was for a very short time (I'm not sure how long it would have lasted, had he not brought coke into my house - loooong story). I do remember, though, that I was always very scared (almost petrified) of catching it. Now, the shoe is on the other foot, and in a lot of ways, I empathize with the negative folks that keep their distance. Of course, I don't agree with it (now), and wish they could reach the level of understanding of the relative risks that I have developed, but they don't have the same vested interest in understanding that I have. Still, it's nice to hear from the second person this week that there are others out there who can look past it and I'm happy for you.

@Hope: don't forget your shovel! ;) (and you're sexy lil weatherman)

@NYC: LOL...we're gonna have to change your moniker to NBD (No Big Deal). I think some folks might finally be getting what you were trying to say (others never will because they don't want to). I think that far too often it's easier to just jump on someone rather than to try to figure out what their point of view is in order to properly translate a written statement. If more people would first assume good intentions from an author instead of assuming they are naive, delusional, etc. they would have an easier time understanding the overall message. Sadly, one form of self-therapy seems to be "feel better by making others feel worse". We see that type of personality everywhere. I've always suspected that those individuals must have much sadder lives than I and try to give them a wide berth.

I try (not always successfully) to assume that most people are, by nature, good. It can be pretty surprising how, if one looks at things from that perspective, a lot of misunderstandings can be avoided. If someone says something I find offensive, I try to determine if they woke up that day with the sole intent of offending me or if I'm over reacting. If I'm not sure, I ask them. I don't just play the "race" card or whatever other card is appropriate. I think everyone deserves the opportunity to prove that, "Yes, Virginia, there are buttholes in the World". Sadly, many still opt to provide that proof. That's why God gave us the ability to ignore people. :-\

For the record, if I piss anyone off, it was probably unintentional. Feel free to call me on it so I can apologize and explain myself. If I tell you to go pound sand, you were right the first time ;)

I'm thinking about "going out" tomorrow night....If I don't pretty soon, I'm going to have to call the blacksmith and have him send Pip over :)
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: veritas on December 04, 2010, 07:16:19 am: Just wanted to let you guys know, I, for one(as a LTS), found this thread to be refreshing. I admiire the way you guys are handling your infection. You guys are upbeat with genuine hope for the future (the way it should be) and a great reparte. A stock contrast to the early days of the infection. The disease is changing and "That's a GOOD THING!". Keep the upbeat attitude and you'll all do fine.

So now, since Z wanted to change my moniker, I'll "stealth" away.

Stay healthy!

v
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Dachshund on December 04, 2010, 08:35:14 am: So how long is shelf life for a noob? A month, six weeks, a year? Can a new noob request that an "older" noob refrain from posting in the newer noob's news? How much new could a new noob knew...
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: bmancanfly on December 04, 2010, 10:42:23 am: I'd like to second what veritas said. Stay positive.

Quote from: Dachshund on December 04, 2010, 08:35:14 am
How much new could a new noob knew...

lol
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 04, 2010, 12:04:34 pm: Quote from: veritas on December 04, 2010, 07:16:19 am
Just wanted to let you guys know, I, for one(as a LTS), found this thread to be refreshing. I admiire the way you guys are handling your infection. You guys are upbeat with genuine hope for the future (the way it should be) and a great reparte. A stock contrast to the early days of the infection. The disease is changing and "That's a GOOD THING!". Keep the upbeat attitude and you'll all do fine.

So now, since Z wanted to change my moniker, I'll "stealth" away.

Stay healthy!

v

Thanks, V, we've gotta get someone to make you a costume.

In my mind's eye, I picture him swooping in with a giant "V" emblazoned on his chest. Maybe it stands for Veritas de hiV? It's always very refreshing to read his posts and to realize that, despite having been through the worst, he still looks for the best. I think he's a realist and recognizes that every cup that is half empty is also half full and, as such, is capable of quenching thirst. Ooh Rah, V - The Stealth Avenger ;)

@Dach: ;D

@BMan: That's gotta be the general plan, right? Remain pozitive. I used to answer the question "are you sure" with responses like "I'm absolutely positive". It's a bit weird how, now, I don't ever use that particular word and I abolutely recognize when I'm filtering my words in a conversation. It's almost like I'd be broadcasting my status by saying it (which is silly, of course).

I'm looking forward to the ability to say "be positive" or "stay positive" or "I'm positive" without it bringing HIV into my train of thought. Similarly, my mom's favorite goodbye line is always "I love you, be safe". Every time she says that, now, I have to refrain from saying "it's a bit late for that, Mom". :-\
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: nychope1 on December 04, 2010, 12:50:05 pm: El Z.... I like that NBD. It sounds hip. I can start a music career.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 04, 2010, 12:55:00 pm: An HIV Rap? :P I sort of saw that coming from your acceptance speech (although you thanked God, and I think "Thank you, Jesus" is more the standard)

I'm still waiting for an answer to an earlier question. Namely, what's the prevalence of HIV up in NYC and how is that impacting your adjustment? Are (gay) people more accepting/educated about it than other places?
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: nychope1 on December 04, 2010, 01:16:48 pm: Quote from: ElZorro on December 04, 2010, 12:55:00 pm
An HIV Rap? :P I sort of saw that coming from your acceptance speech (although you thanked God, and I think "Thank you, Jesus" is more the standard)

I'm still waiting for an answer to an earlier question. Namely, what's the prevalence of HIV up in NYC and how is that impacting your adjustment? Are (gay) people more accepting/educated about it than other places?

Well, Z... that is a superb question. Without a doubt it is not much of a stigma here to be gay. At all. The whole city is gay. It is a very progressive and liberal place. I forget that sometimes. It is just taken for granted I suppose. As well, there is a tremendous amount of support here in Manhattan for HIV + folks. I mean this is where it was ground zero. The West Village was completely decimated in the 80's. It actually changed the demographic of the area to what it is now. Not to many gays and lesbians but a whole lot of uber rich families and celebrities. The gay folks who owned that area died.

Years ago volunteered for "In God's Love We Deliver" a organization that was founded by David Geffen that prepares and delivers food to home bound AIDS patients. I don't have to tell you what I used to witness. Tough stuff.

Don't forget also that this is a big entertainment and art city. So we are in general more sensitive and protective of that community. It s our life's blood in many ways.

The doctors and nurses and medical infrastructure is superb in my opinion and I have a wonderful doctor who is partly to blame for my nauseating hopeful attitude.

So yes... I would imagine that all things being what they are there is a large gay population and a large HIV population. I don't feel stigmatized here as I probably might in another town. Though I don't let anyone know either. But I would be like that if I had cancer or anything else. Friends are fine but that's it.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 04, 2010, 01:26:16 pm: Is there a good VA hospital? Can you build a dome over the city and keep the temperature at a constant 78-85 degrees? ;)

I watched the two Sex in the City movies recently (I never really got into the series, but I enjoyed the movies). The whole city lifestyle looks like it would be fun. So much to do, so many options. I probably should have lived up there at some time in my life. I can't complain, though, I lived in Honolulu for 3 years ::)

Right now, I'm seriously considering a move to Ft Lauderdale/Miami (like past trips to NYC, I've only been there for business and didn't really have the chances to explore). I should be working in SFla on a project next year and I'm gonna use that as an opportunity to scout out the area. It's probably the better choice, because there would be no need for a dome ;)

What part of Florida do you come to during your summer stays?
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: nychope1 on December 04, 2010, 01:34:04 pm: There is a VA hospital right near me. A good one too.
I never watched the Sex and the City stuff. I'm not that type ;)

It is a great town and I've lived in Manhattan over twenty years. Without getting too personal here I own a place on the beach near Ft. Lauderdale and am strongly considering moving down full time.

As much as I love this town it has changed it is very expensive and I don't like the cold really. I really like Florida and am always healthier when I am there. I like living outdoors. The quality of life is better all around.

So I may just be moving there within the year.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 04, 2010, 01:45:28 pm: That's probably not too personal. It's a big city...no one will be able to find your house if it gets down to picketing ;)

The more I think about it, the more I think the geography that one lives in probably does have a huge impact on the acclimation process. It makes sense. The more people are aware of it, the more educated they likely are about it. One could expect that education would impact acceptance. I know from when I used to go out and "strut" a couple of years ago, it was still a source of gossip here, where some bitchy queen would be sure to whisper "he's sick" etc. if they had the chance. That's not gonna be me. I'm not in a hurry to walk around with a red H on my forehead. Sometimes, though, I think it would be an amazingly sense of freedom to just put on one of Annie Lennox's T-Shirts and go to the grocery store.

I'm a freak, dude! I'll probably be arguing with myself within the next two years (and losing the arguments)...I'm headed for shut-in status...lol
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: nychope1 on December 04, 2010, 01:54:28 pm: HA! Bitchy queens no their place in this town.

No but really the nice thing about NYC there isn't a gay ghetto if you will besides Chelsea. Most of the people here are woven into the fabric pretty thoroughly.

I have to scram.. Later.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 04, 2010, 03:23:35 pm: Quote from: ElZorro on December 04, 2010, 01:26:16 pm
Right now, I'm seriously considering a move to Ft Lauderdale/Miami (like past trips to NYC, I've only been there for business and didn't really have the chances to explore). I should be working in SFla on a project next year and I'm gonna use that as an opportunity to scout out the area. It's probably the better choice, because there would be no need for a dome ;)

What part of Florida do you come to during your summer stays?

Miami/Fort Lauderdale is where it is at --- to me it is second only to NYC (I would live in NYC in a second if I could get past the winters).

BTW, we are expecting it to get down to 46 here as a low mid-week (but that is a rarity - only one or two days a year)
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 04, 2010, 03:42:24 pm: Soooo....do you have room for my 3 cats, too?? ;)

If it's gonna get that cold on your side of the state, I guess we are going to get snow over here ::) Remember last year when it snowed outside of Orlando?
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 04, 2010, 03:46:51 pm: LOL on the cats

Yeah - it's nice out now - about 73 and sunny - but I had the heat on last night for a bit. I remember when they had that light snow in Orlando - the parents live in Ocala (about an hour north of Orlando) and I try to avoid going up that way this time of year.

Quote from: ElZorro on December 04, 2010, 03:42:24 pm
Soooo....do you have room for my 3 cats, too?? ;)

If it's gonna get that cold on your side of the state, I guess we are going to get snow over here ::) Remember last year when it snowed outside of Orlando?
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Matty the Damned on December 04, 2010, 03:51:15 pm: I am posting in this thread, dick-sniffers.

MtD

/edited in honour of El Zorro/
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 04, 2010, 03:53:03 pm: Quote from: Matty the Damned on December 04, 2010, 03:51:15 pm
I am posting in this thread.

MtD

Well..... I NEVER...

Okay, maybe once or twice, but I didn't like it ---

Okay, I liked it a little :o
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 04, 2010, 04:02:51 pm: Quote from: Matty the Damned on December 04, 2010, 03:51:15 pm
I am posting in this thread.
MtD

It wouldn't be a valid thread without something from Matty. But, I think you left off "bitches" ;)
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Matty the Damned on December 04, 2010, 04:13:13 pm: Quote from: ElZorro on December 04, 2010, 04:02:51 pm
It wouldn't be a valid thread without something from Matty. But, I think you left off "bitches" ;)

Fixed.

MtD
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 04, 2010, 04:16:16 pm: Quote from: Matty the Damned on December 04, 2010, 04:13:13 pm
Fixed.
MtD

I partied with some Aussie sailors in Waikiki when I was stationed there. The next night one of them was "missing" from our party because he'd ended up in the brig for showing up to his post drunk. Nobody thought anything about it.

I love Austrailians! Everyone I have ever met was a trip!
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: nychope1 on December 04, 2010, 09:03:54 pm: Ft. Lauderdale is fun but certainly has its own vibe. BIG drinkers in FT. L. Great Happy Hours.
I find the only draw back to living in Florida is having to drive after drinking. It really puts a damper on things. We don't have that problem in Manhattan.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Maelrod on December 04, 2010, 11:38:16 pm: Hi Nychope1 >:(: What's u think about south beach. I drank the best mojittos than ever. U get drunk w 3 of them, they are so big.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Matty the Damned on December 05, 2010, 05:53:28 am: Quote from: ElZorro on December 04, 2010, 04:16:16 pm
I partied with some Aussie sailors in Waikiki when I was stationed there. The next night one of them was "missing" from our party because he'd ended up in the brig for showing up to his post drunk. Nobody thought anything about it.

I love Austrailians! Everyone I have ever met was a trip!

Fascinating. Tell me, can you be any more of a suck up?

MtD
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 09:08:28 am: Quote from: Matty the Damned on December 05, 2010, 05:53:28 am
Fascinating. Tell me, can you be any more of a suck up?

MtD

Yeah, that was probably pretty boring. To clarify though, the "nobody" was all of his fellow aussies. We American GIs were amazed at the cavalier attitude. They worked hard and they partied hard and we had some very memorable times with them.

;D

(http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i445/StPeteZorro/image024.gif)
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Ann on December 05, 2010, 11:15:02 am: Quote from: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 09:08:28 am

(http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i445/StPeteZorro/image024.gif)

EZ, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but yes, your ass looks fat in that. :o
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Hellraiser on December 05, 2010, 11:16:50 am: Quote from: Matty the Damned on December 05, 2010, 05:53:28 am
Fascinating. Tell me, can you be any more of a suck up?

MtD

Don't be jealous that some people are better at sucking than you are.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: numbersguy82 on December 05, 2010, 11:45:04 am: Wow I'm really surprised that so many noobs have had negative experiences here. I for one have encountered some really awesome people here both LTS and just plain ole uncategorized HIVers lol. So what do we call someone who is HIV poz, not a LTS, but not new either???

I think attitude tends to come into play because this is the internet afterall... the land of written things, and we all know interpreting writing can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. I tend to not become emotionally invested in whether someone likes me or not. There have been comments and judgements directed towards me also, but that is life. Life includes both the good and the bad... just as Ms. Garrett or Natalie lol.

So back on topic... yes I too am a Floridian.... Fort Lauderdale here and I couldn't agree more that the weather is great and that the snow birds are especially bad this season!
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 12:07:42 pm: Hey ya, Numbers. Good to "see" you again. I just finished watching The Time Traveller's Wife. Thanks for the recommendation. It was a great movie. It didn't affect me, but I could see how it would. It took about 3 days to get through the whole movie because I was playing it in the background while fiddling on a game I'm writing. I feel like we have similar tastes in movies. Any other recommedations? I'm hoping to catch Burlesque today or this week so I can get a Cher fix :P
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Hoover on December 05, 2010, 12:18:09 pm: I plan on downloading Time Travelers Wife soon.
Books we can do, but finding the time for a movie is rare.
Where does the time go in a day?

Our friend we are helping made us watch a movie last night.
Has anyone seen Shortbus?
Strange gay movie that shows lots of dicks.
I recommended it to our fruit fly daughter.....
She should love it as it is messed up!

Time to search for some food.

Hoover
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 12:25:19 pm: Quote from: Hoover on December 05, 2010, 12:18:09 pm
I plan on downloading Time Travelers Wife soon.
Books we can do, but finding the time for a movie is rare.
Where does the time go in a day?

Our friend we are helping made us watch a movie last night.
Has anyone seen Shortbus?
Strange gay movie that shows lots of dicks.
I recommended it to our fruit fly daughter.....
She should love it as it is messed up!

Time to search for some food.

Hoover

I'll have to look for Shortbus, Hoover.

I work in technology, but I'm the farthest thing from being an "early adopter" as one can get. In fact, I never used Vista for anything. I moved from Windows NT directly to XP.

The reason I point that out is last year for Christmas, a friend gave me a Netflix subscription and it was, hands down, one of the best gifts ever. :P I'd used NF back in the day when I bought my first DVD player, but wasn't aware of the streaming that they introduced. I think that I've probably watched 600 titles (series episodes and movies) in the last year alone. In fact, I almost cancelled the cable because I realized I was never watching regular television.

It's getting to the point, now, though, that I can't seem to find anything that looks appealling :-\ So, if you've got recommendations...lol
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Rev. Moon on December 05, 2010, 12:31:31 pm: Quote from: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 12:07:42 pm
Any other recommedations? I'm hoping to catch Burlesque today or this week so I can get a Cher fix :P

Chile, forget about Cher and go catch some fierce: Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in 'Black Swan'. This has got to be the best film of 2010 along with 'The Kids Are All Right'.

If you can't leave home and feel like renting something then go for 'Winter's Bone', bleak and beautiful.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 12:33:31 pm: Quote from: Rev. Moon on December 05, 2010, 12:31:31 pm
This has got to be the best film of 2010 along with 'The Kids Are All Right'.

Ah yes my darlings, I watched this a second time just last week -- along with the even more superior I Am Love. Tilda Swinton prancing around all glamour doll in Hermes? Yes, please! My fave of the year, and the awesome score is what solidifies the amazing cinematography and direction.

trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUXEAhJb_O0

That is my idea of the perfect flick. OMG, and that woman playing Tilda's mother in law? She is like the living embodiment of fierceness. I had multiple vaginal orgasms every time she showed up.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 12:34:30 pm: Quote from: Rev. Moon on December 05, 2010, 12:31:31 pm
Chile, forget about Cher and go catch some fierce: Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in 'Black Swan'. This has got to be the best film of 2010 along with 'The Kids Are All Right'.

If you can't leave home and feel like renting something then go for 'Winter's Bone', bleak and beautiful.

Thanks, Rev! Will do. I'm a huge Narnia fan, too, and looking forward to the new release. (Although, I've been a little disappointed in the selection of many of the actors that were cast - except for that hot Prince Caspian, :P )

edited to add: hmmmm....looks like this afternoon's gonna have to be a movie day. Thanks for the endorsement, Miss P
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: numbersguy82 on December 05, 2010, 12:42:41 pm: Hey EZ I saw Burlesque yesterday and surprisingly enough I loved it. Musicals aren't really my thing and I hate Christina. However I am gay, and Cher ofcourse was amazing. However the entire story is just well written and it boasts a very strong ensemble cast. I loved Cam Gigandet (He's so hot in this movie), Eric Dane, Kristen Bell, Alan Cumming, and ofcourse Stanley Tucci.

Miss P I am dying to see Black Swan (I heart Mila Kunis)... and I missed The Kids are All Right also :(

I'm just not a movie watcher in theatres... I prefer my own home I guess...
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 12:44:14 pm: Oh, and I'll add this on even though it's really from last year, but I'm sure most of you missed it at the cinema -- if you like Grandfather type flicks this is above awesome though in French:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxbOnIbQfYc

You won't get bored during this movie, best one I saw in '09.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 12:48:01 pm: Quote from: numbersguy82 on December 05, 2010, 12:42:41 pm

I'm just not a movie watcher in theatres... I prefer my own home I guess...

I love seeing stuff in the theatre, but I mostly only go to this indie/foreign film here (though it's three locations and a total of a dozen screens so lots to choose from) and I go for matinees so it's usually me and three old Jewish women there, no chatty teens.

I want to go see James Franco in 127 Hours this week.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Dachshund on December 05, 2010, 12:49:49 pm: Quote from: numbersguy82 on December 05, 2010, 11:45:04 am
Wow I'm really surprised that so many noobs have had negative experiences here. I for one have encountered some really awesome people here both LTS and just plain ole uncategorized HIVers lol. So what do we call someone who is HIV poz, not a LTS, but not new either???

I think attitude tends to come into play because this is the internet afterall... the land of written things, and we all know interpreting writing can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. I tend to not become emotionally invested in whether someone likes me or not. There have been comments and judgements directed towards me also, but that is life. Life includes both the good and the bad... just as Ms. Garrett or Natalie lol.

So back on topic... yes I too am a Floridian.... Fort Lauderdale here and I couldn't agree more that the weather is great and that the snow birds are especially bad this season!

smart cookie
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 12:52:29 pm: @Numbers: I love Cher and musicals and stage plays...I think they are the only things that allow me to accumulate "princess points" through out the year...Those and cross-stitching :P (although it's difficult to find a non "foo foo" pattern and wildlife gets old after awhile). But, I love movies on "The Big Screen". It doesn't seem to matter how big televisions get, there just doesn't seem to be a substitute for that experience.

@Miss P: I'll have to check it out. Sub titles are a bit of a challenge for me as a lot of times I'm working on a laptop and watching the movie, but, if the movie grabs me, I tend to shut things down, curl up and watch. There are a couple of really good Indian movies a friend turned me onto as well. I'll have to try to remember the titles. What I really like about Indian movies is they are sooooooo loooooong ;)
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Rev. Moon on December 05, 2010, 12:53:25 pm: Quote from: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 12:33:31 pm
Ah yes my darlings, I watched this a second time just last week -- along with the even more superior I Am Love. Tilda Swinton prancing around all glamour doll in Hermes? Yes, please! My fave of the year, and the awesome score is what solidifies the amazing cinematography and direction.

Io sono l'amore = Fabulous++. I had to download it a couple of months ago.

Two additional recs:

- 'Fair Game': Naomi Watts makes it good
- Whenever it gets a wide release: 'Frankie & Alice'
- If you can get your hands on it: 2000's 'In the Mood For Love (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_the_mood_for_love)', which remains to this date one of my favorite films evah. The Criterion Collection version may be available thru Netflix; you won't be able to buy it as it was recently discontinued.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 12:56:23 pm: Quote from: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 12:52:29 pm
Sub titles are a bit of a challenge for me as a lot of times

Jesus you old woman, stiffen up some.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 01:03:05 pm: Quote from: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 12:56:23 pm
Jesus you old woman, stiffen up some.

LOL...it's not that I can't read them...it's that I'm looking at the computer while they are flashing on the screen. ;D
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: wtfimpoz on December 05, 2010, 01:29:49 pm: Jesus Christ do all of you girls live in ft. Lauderdale? I can think of like 4 people from this forum off the top of my head.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 01:33:47 pm: Quote from: wtfimpoz on December 05, 2010, 01:29:49 pm
Jesus Christ do all of you girls live in ft. Lauderdale? I can think of like 4 people from this forum off the top of my head.

Well, it is "mecca", WTF ;)

Where are you located?
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 01:47:11 pm: Quote from: wtfimpoz on December 05, 2010, 01:29:49 pm
Jesus Christ do all of you girls live in ft. Lauderdale? I can think of like 4 people from this forum off the top of my head.

Fort Methdale attracts a lot of barebacking power bottoms, for obvious reasons.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 02:03:01 pm: Quote from: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 01:47:11 pm
Fort Methdale attracts a lot of barebacking power bottoms, for obvious reasons.
;)
I resemble that remark! ::)
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 02:12:16 pm: Quote from: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 02:03:01 pm
;)
I resemble that remark! ::)

that's just because you get plowed on sedatives and cheap beer
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 02:15:33 pm: Quote from: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 02:12:16 pm
that's just because you get plowed on sedatives and cheap beer

Corona's not cheap ;)
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 02:23:48 pm: Quote from: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 02:15:33 pm
Corona's not cheap ;)

You need to come to Philly if you want real beer -- in fact we have the largest beer festival on the East Coast. Lots of microbreweries here.

http://www.phillybeerweek.org/

We even have an entire magazine:

http://beerscenemag.com/
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 02:26:50 pm: Looks like fun - and the beginning of June - maybe I can do that and incorporate a trip to NYC for PR Day Parade. Haven't done that for about 4 years or so.

But, even if they have the beer, I would still be missing the sedatives (I'm sure the ass plowers would be easy to come by) :o

Quote from: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 02:23:48 pm
You need to come to Philly if you want real beer -- in fact we have the largest beer festival on the East Coast. Lots of microbreweries here.

http://www.phillybeerweek.org/

We even have an entire magazine:

http://beerscenemag.com/
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 02:30:42 pm: Quote from: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 02:26:50 pm

But, even if they have the beer, I would still be missing the sedatives (I'm sure the ass plowers would be easy to come by) :o

Honey, you're talking to Liza here. I can score 60 mg of klonopin monthly.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 02:36:35 pm: Quote from: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 02:30:42 pm
Honey, you're talking to Liza here. I can score 60 mg of klonopin monthly.

Booking my flight now - LOL

Beer, sedatives, PRs, and sex ---
love Philadelphia in the summer.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 02:40:51 pm: :D :D :D

I'm sorry, but I think this is hilarious!

WTF asks how many people are in FtL and it ends up with Phil on a plane to Philly to be gang-raped...LMAO!
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 02:44:44 pm: Quote from: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 02:36:35 pm
Booking my flight now - LOL

Beer, sedatives, PRs, and sex ---
love Philadelphia in the summer.

Aside from the beer, which frankly I don't drink much of (but yes, major beer lovers love it here a LOT) this city has the best sandwich repertoire of any place I've lived.

Oh, and a LOT of Italian guys. That's my delicacy lately. shhhhhh
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 03:05:15 pm: Quote from: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 02:40:51 pm
:D :D :D

I'm sorry, but I think this is hilarious!

WTF asks how many people are in FtL and it ends up with Phil on a plane to Philly to be gang-raped...LMAO!
;)
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 03:06:32 pm: (psssst....you a ho!) :o
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 03:13:33 pm: Quote from: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 03:06:32 pm
(psssst....you a ho!) :o

shhhh, don't tell anyone, it's a secret.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Rev. Moon on December 05, 2010, 03:20:08 pm: Quote from: wtfimpoz on December 05, 2010, 01:29:49 pm
Jesus Christ do all of you girls live in ft. Lauderdale? I can think of like 4 people from this forum off the top of my head.

Ahem... I do NOT live in Fag Lawdergayle. I am a Southern Gal from Miami. Only Phil and Numberschick have that pedestrian 954 area code ;)

Quote from: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 03:06:32 pm
(psssst....you a ho!) :o

Newsflash.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: WillyWump on December 05, 2010, 03:20:59 pm: I'll be in Ft Laud in Januray, let's have a mini gathering!
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 03:25:48 pm: Quote from: Rev. Moon on December 05, 2010, 03:20:08 pm
Only Phil and Numberschick have that pedestrian 954 area code ;)

methinks you're forgetting a very important person in that statement!
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 03:29:06 pm: Quote from: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 03:25:48 pm
methinks you're forgetting a very important person in that statement!
please don't make my stomach issues act up again --- i just rinsed my mouth - no need for me to throw up in it a little again... I beg you... pretty please????
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 03:30:47 pm: Quote from: Rev. Moon on December 05, 2010, 03:20:08 pm
Ahem... I do NOT live in Fag Lawdergayle. I am a Southern Gal from Miami. Only Phil and Numberschick have that pedestrian 954 area code ;)

I still have the 954 area code on my cell but actually live in North Miami now. Closer enough to Fort Lauderdale to smell the poppers when the wind is blowing south - actually, that smell may be coming from PrimeTime adult bookstore - which is 9 blocks from me.... ::)
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 03:31:36 pm: Quote from: WillyWump on December 05, 2010, 03:20:59 pm
I'll be in Ft Laud in Januray, let's have a mini gathering!
DEFINITELYWill!!

I can show you all the ~~hoe~~ hot spots.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Rev. Moon on December 05, 2010, 03:33:08 pm: Quote from: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 03:25:48 pm
methinks you're forgetting a very important person in that statement!

Oh dang, how could I forget? Should I share a certain adam4adam profile where one of our members claims to be "neg" and yet promotes the delights of PNP? Heavenly father, NO. I done been in nuff trouble before for posting inappropriate links to certain lurid dwellings.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 03:33:51 pm: Quote from: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 03:30:47 pm
PrimeTime adult bookstore - which is 9 blocks from me.... ::)

You keep mentioning this place -- go a lot, I take it?
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 03:37:57 pm: Quote from: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 03:33:51 pm
You keep mentioning this place -- go a lot, I take it?
Haven't been in a while -
last time i was there they had named a stall after me
But, naw, I wouldn't say I go to much -
Although, I think my admission fee may have paid for the recent paint job

Well, I mean, I don't know if it was recent, as I haven't err, um, ah, been there in a while.
That's my story and I'm sticking with it!
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: WillyWump on December 05, 2010, 03:39:56 pm: Quote from: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 03:37:57 pm

last time i was there they had named a stall after me
!

the "Phil-me-up" stall?
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Rev. Moon on December 05, 2010, 03:42:27 pm: Quote from: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 03:37:57 pm

Although, I think my admission fee may have paid for the recent paint job

Admission fee at some crummy book store? What kind of joint is this?

If I'm gonna spend money to enter a house of sex it'd better have a dark sauna and individual rooms (i.e. Club Body Center in Miami or The Club in your neck of the woods).
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 03:43:07 pm: Quote from: WillyWump on December 05, 2010, 03:39:56 pm
the "Phil-me-up" stall?
I also noticed they had one there named the "Fill Will" stall with a Texas flag on it --

Things that make me go "hmmmmm"

You sure you have never been there Will? I mean, I'm just sayin....
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: phildinftlaudy on December 05, 2010, 03:44:54 pm: Quote from: Rev. Moon on December 05, 2010, 03:42:27 pm
Admission fee at some crummy book store? What kind of joint is this?

If I'm gonna spend money to enter a house of sex it'd better have a dark sauna and individual rooms (i.e. Club Body Center in Miami or The Club in your neck of the woods).
It's only $5 - ($8 in high peak hours) - but no tokens needed
Um, At least that's what I'm told...

Keeps the "riff raff" out - although, the riff raff are usually the one's who turn me on --- that is if I was the type of person who went to those type of places.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 03:46:44 pm: If you're missing the Club Body Center that closed in Coral Gables the branch of it here is still open -- it's around the corner from my HIV clinic, for extra convenience after barebacking all weekend.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Rev. Moon on December 05, 2010, 03:52:00 pm: Quote from: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 03:46:44 pm
If you're missing the Club Body Center that closed in Coral Gables

Oh noes... I'm so outta da loop... I didn't know that the one in Coral Gables was no longer in bidness. I recall some fabulous times with my girls at that place back in the late 90's. Even recall a time when the police raided the place and they showed these queens on TV with towels wrapped around their faces so that their wives and girlfriends wouldn't recognise them. So not very.

Quote from: Miss Philicia on December 05, 2010, 03:46:44 pm
the branch of it here is still open -- it's around the corner from my HIV clinic, for extra convenience after barebacking all weekend.

Très convenient. I'm sure that them PNP girls get their Truvada supply right after taking a few cum shots in the dark room.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: anniebc on December 05, 2010, 04:26:28 pm: I've been away for the last 9 days and have missed out on a fair few threads, and it would seem I'm obviously missing something on this one..has the "Off Topic" forum been moved to the "just tested positive" forum..is there a point to this thread, please help me out here..thank you my dears.. :)

Hugs
Jan :-*
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: woodshere on December 05, 2010, 04:42:45 pm: Quote from: anniebc on December 05, 2010, 04:26:28 pm
I've been away for the last 9 days and have missed out on a fair few threads, and it would seem I'm obviously missing something on this one..has the "Off Topic" forum been moved to the "just tested positive" forum..is there a point to this thread, please help me out here..thank you my dears.. :)

Hugs
Jan :-*

LOL, see what happens when you are gone. I am not sure where to even start, anyone care to give it a try?
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Matty the Damned on December 05, 2010, 05:17:21 pm: Quote from: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 09:08:28 am
Yeah, that was probably pretty boring. To clarify though, the "nobody" was all of his fellow aussies. We American GIs were amazed at the cavalier attitude. They worked hard and they partied hard and we had some very memorable times with them.

;D

(http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i445/StPeteZorro/image024.gif)

Amateur.

(http://tool.shagnasty.net/wiki/images/3/3a/02b8494b1a49cd2d2d4b69ebd4a5c8ad.gif)

MtD
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: ElZorro on December 05, 2010, 05:21:23 pm: roflmao ;) yeah...that was a good one
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: edfu on December 06, 2010, 02:18:06 am: Quote from: anniebc on December 05, 2010, 04:26:28 pm
I've been away for the last 9 days and have missed out on a fair few threads, and it would seem I'm obviously missing something on this one..has the "Off Topic" forum been moved to the "just tested positive" forum..is there a point to this thread, please help me out here..thank you my dears.. :)

A few of the newly diagnosed--one in particular--expressed unhappiness with posts they make to "Living with..." that get responses from those not newly diagnosed, especially LTS's, that the newly diagnosed deem negative and/or pessimistic. They say that being diagnosed with HIV is no big deal today and not like it was in earlier years of the epidemic. They want their own forum other than "I Just Tested Postive," and this thread is the result.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: anniebc on December 06, 2010, 03:50:13 am: Thanks Edfu..still don't see how this thread is helping them though, all seems rather foolish if you ask me.

They have their own "I just tested Poz" forum so I guess they can post about whatever gets then through the day...but all this "Newbie" V "The rest of us" is just ridiculous.

If I'm not getting this I'm sure someone will put me right... ;)

"Newbie" Thread #1 worries me ..does that mean there is more to come!!!

Hugs
Jan :-*
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: Hellraiser on December 06, 2010, 03:55:03 am: Quote from: anniebc on December 06, 2010, 03:50:13 am
Thanks Edfu..still don't see how this thread is helping them though, all seems rather foolish if you ask me.

They have their own "I just tested Poz" forum so I guess they can post about whatever gets then throught the day...but all this "Newbie" V "The rest of us" is just ridiculas.

If I'm not getting this I'm sure someone will put me right... ;)

Hugs
Jan :-*

I dunno, I see the value in being able to commiserate with your own ilk. The same as the LTS, Poz women, etc. forums. Although I do have to wonder exactly where some of us fit into that scheme. I'm just over a year diagnosed, but I'm pretty well educated on the matter so I don't felt particularly newbish. I dunno I've never been big on labels for the most part. In my experience nothing is as black and white as people try to paint it.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: jkinatl2 on December 06, 2010, 05:13:18 am: Quote from: Hellraiser on December 06, 2010, 03:55:03 am
I dunno, I see the value in being able to commiserate with your own ilk. The same as the LTS, Poz women, etc. forums. Although I do have to wonder exactly where some of us fit into that scheme. I'm just over a year diagnosed, but I'm pretty well educated on the matter so I don't felt particularly newbish. I dunno I've never been big on labels for the most part. In my experience nothing is as black and white as people try to paint it.

Exactly. The LTS forum exists so that people who have that experience can talk with others who have been/are going through that situation. Those who have not been LTS' cannot possibly offer real understanding of that situation.

The Women's Forum is set up because women face some situations that only other women, who have gone/are going through similar circumstances can empathize. Only women are allowed to participate, because they need a safe place to discuss issues that frankly, men cannot totally understand.

And the Newbie forum would be so that... Well, apparently so that newly diagnosed persons would not have the burden of HIV information or the experience of those diagnosed longer than a year or so ago to complicate their process.

Because experience and knowledge and information are so not what AM is about.

Ironically, the threads that caused this flare-up were not even posted in Just tested Poz, but in Living With. But hey, if the mods and Tim want to change the Just Tested Forum to read "for newly diagnosed persons and perhaps a select group of expert mods only" then I would surely not darken this particular forum again.

I do think it is absolutely contrary to what Aidsmeds is about, however.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: RapidRod on December 06, 2010, 05:44:09 am: Quote from: jkinatl2 on December 06, 2010, 05:13:18 am
Exactly. The LTS forum exists so that people who have that experience can talk with others who have been/are going through that situation. Those who have not been LTS' cannot possibly offer real understanding of that situation.

The Women's Forum is set up because women face some situations that only other women, who have gone/are going through similar circumstances can empathize. Only women are allowed to participate, because they need a safe place to discuss issues that frankly, men cannot totally understand.

And the Newbie forum would be so that... Well, apparently so that newly diagnosed persons would not have the burden of HIV information or the experience of those diagnosed longer than a year or so ago to complicate their process.

Because experience and knowledge and information are so not what AM is about.

Ironically, the threads that caused this flare-up were not even posted in Just tested Poz, but in Living With. But hey, if the mods and Tim want to change the Just Tested Forum to read "for newly diagnosed persons and perhaps a select group of expert mods only" then I would surely not darken this particular forum again.

I do think it is absolutely contrary to what Aidsmeds is about, however.

Isn't it what this forum was for before being taken over by a few?
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: numbersguy82 on December 06, 2010, 09:13:00 pm: Quote from: WillyWump on December 05, 2010, 03:20:59 pm
I'll be in Ft Laud in Januray, let's have a mini gathering!

Hmmmm you're coming to FLL??? Interesting ;)
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: hellrider on December 07, 2010, 07:55:04 am: Actually being able to laugh at you guys also helps. Laughter is the best medicine. So I am a newbie big deal I can still learn how to deal with this thing and do you guys still go out and have fun, I haven't mustered up the idea of going out and meeting people. So can a straight guy post here too. :)
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: woodshere on December 07, 2010, 08:33:57 am: Of course a straight guy can post here, just be careful you know how we gay guys try to recruit...especially the hot ones. And yes you will go out again...as a matter of fact some of my best laughs have come from the poz group I used to be a part of. Good Luck
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: hellrider on December 07, 2010, 08:52:11 am: Quote from: woodshere on December 07, 2010, 08:33:57 am
Of course a straight guy can post here, just be careful you know how we gay guys try to recruit...especially the hot ones. And yes you will go out again...as a matter of fact some of my best laughs have come from the poz group I used to be a part of. Good Luck
OK! I will keep my eyes opened but I am kind of dumb when it comes to being hit on I can't tell these things. Before the infection hit me I used to karaoke one or 2 nights a week, then after the infection showed up I don't feel like going out and doing anything. I just sit at home and watch TV, I think its one or two things. A: I am not working or have money coming in.
B: I am wallowing in self pity.
C: ok 3 things. Its A and B.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: woodshere on December 07, 2010, 09:46:52 am: Quote from: hellrider on December 07, 2010, 08:52:11 am
OK! I will keep my eyes opened but I am kind of dumb when it comes to being hit on I can't tell these things. Before the infection hit me I used to karaoke one or 2 nights a week, then after the infection showed up I don't feel like going out and doing anything. I just sit at home and watch TV, I think its one or two things. A: I am not working or have money coming in.
B: I am wallowing in self pity.
C: ok 3 things. Its A and B.

Yeah I wallow in self pity occasionally, seldom involves HIV, but understand it very well. Even though I do work, understand the lack of funds. I notice you have been poz since Oct. Doubt if there is any authority out there that says how long a person should take to get to a place of acceptance and somewhat back in the old routine. Maybe you should seek some help on this, absolutely nothing wrong with that!!! Then maybe you should just try or force youself to go to karaoke, what's the worse that can happen, you get there and realize you're not ready. Sometimes making ourselves do something we don't want to has surprisingly good results.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: sam66 on December 07, 2010, 10:29:42 am: ElZorro, I'm with you

Here's to Positive Positives , lets keep hope alive,

Be happy and play safe
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: hellrider on December 07, 2010, 10:27:41 pm: Woodshere!

I do have alot of issues with this damned thing, I went to where I work and told all my managers that I am HIV poz and said I understand if they want to let me go I wont hold a grudge because this thing is going to be time consuming plus I will have to adhere to strict regimin if I want to stay healthy, I also told them I cant deal with their stress I need a positive atmosphere which working in a casino racetrack has its stressors. I am positive I can beat this thing. Plus I am beginning to see humor in some of it. I have HIV-2 which is the kinder and more gentler strain of HIV ;D
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: woodshere on December 08, 2010, 07:06:35 pm: Quote from: hellrider on December 07, 2010, 10:27:41 pm
I do have alot of issues with this damned thing, I went to where I work and told all my managers that I am HIV poz and said I understand if they want to let me go I wont hold a grudge because this thing is going to be time consuming plus I will have to adhere to strict regimin if I want to stay healthy, I also told them I cant deal with their stress I need a positive atmosphere which working in a casino racetrack has its stressors. I am positive I can beat this thing. Plus I am beginning to see humor in some of it. I have HIV-2 which is the kinder and more gentler strain of HIV ;D

Please understand that I am not being critical of the decision of telling your employer because you have already done that. I only say this for anyone else that is newly positive. I had a situation at work the first year i was diagnosed dealing with insurance and had a question that I sought advice for from the HIV office of Legal Aid. They told me under no circumstances should you disclose to your employer that you are HIV+. Sure there are anti-discrimation laws dealing with HIV, however anyone that deals in the firing of employees can find ways around that.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: hellrider on December 13, 2010, 03:42:48 pm: Woodshere

I do understand what you have said I don't take it as an attack, I did what I did because the job I have is very stressful at times. Fortunately for me I have a manager that has dealt with people with HIV and aids and another manager who is gay so there is understanding there. The first question was when am I coming back to work.If it comes to insurance I am not worried I am fortunate I served in the military 15 years so I have the VA which I decided to use the system. ;). Heres to you and hopefully we can form a friendship. BTW the VA doc didn't put me on meds. said my cd4 count was good.
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: woodshere on December 13, 2010, 04:10:00 pm: Quote from: hellrider on December 13, 2010, 03:42:48 pm
Woodshere

Fortunately for me I have a manager that has dealt with people with HIV and aids and another manager who is gay so there is understanding there.

That is very helpful!!!
Title: Re: "Newbie" Thread #1
Post by: hellrider on December 13, 2010, 05:21:06 pm: Yes it is.