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Author Topic: Hi  (Read 2633 times)

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Offline delilah07

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« on: October 06, 2022, 08:54:19 pm »
[i I have a job. Its been a problem finding something I like while being around people who I think are nice. I found both in this job.
  My Mom passed away the ending of September. Her service is next Wednesday. I plan to fly out to see her one last time. My siblings will be there except for one.
My older half-sister. She is pulling one of her selfish stunts again where she thinks of only herself. Shes also an active addict.
 To much to go into about my older half-sister. Ill just say we tried everything to help her. We gave up yesterday.
 At this moment I sit alone. Anyone I can talk with is at work or busy. My friends have been great. They have listened to me and Im lucky to have them. My husband and daughter have been listening as well.
 Today is the day I tell my husband that I want to go to my Moms viewing. We just claimed bankruptcy last month. So were not wealthy. But I need to go. I need to see my Mom one last time. My sisters and I are going to dress my Mom. Im kind of scared of this, but its just that we want to make sure she is dressed correctly.
 I miss my Mom. I argued so much with her when I grew up, when all I had to do was listen and learn. If I had I wouldnt have been HIV positive.
 At times like this I used to call her. Now its about her and I cant call. 
 My Mom was by my side through my HIV diagnosis. She taught me to care for myself again and again. She worried for me so I could smile and laugh. She hugged me through tears. I learned how to order my medication and talk with healthcare workers through her going through it with me.
 I wish she didnt have such a painful few last years. She told me she prayed to God to be with my Dad again. But she was afraid to die, she was afraid of the pain coming back again.
 One day my Mom became unresponsive. The medical staff tried to revive her. Five minutes later they called my sister to say my Mom didnt make it.
 When I received the call I couldnt cry. I was hearing the news, but thinking on each word my sister had said to me. I finally told my daughter who began crying right away. I broke down because I could hardly get the words out to tell her. My daughter cried for three hours.
  Im weird. I usually feel nothing until Im viewing the body. Then it all comes. The tears and last words. I wish I gave my Mom more hugs.

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hi
« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2022, 01:24:50 am »
Sorry to hear that your mom passed away. Wishing you strength during this time.
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Offline leatherman

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Re: Hi
« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2022, 07:59:37 pm »
So sorry about your mother passing away.

I wish I gave my Mom more hugs.
to be honest, most people who lose a loved one think this same thing. We always wish we had shown them more love. I believe the best response of we, the people who are left behind, should be to remember this feeling of inadequacy and make sure to show even more love to the ones we still have with us. Try to make sure you don't feel like you did too little if/when you lose someone else. ;)
leatherman (aka mIkIE)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline harleymc

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Re: Hi
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2022, 08:04:56 pm »
Sorry to hear about your loss.

 Take good time to be with your family, lots of hugs to you and them


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