POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: Sucklover on April 08, 2009, 03:56:16 pm
-
I am a Bi male mid 40s and have just recently (about a year) began having oral sex with men. I am very new to this lifestyle. before this I was married for 10 years and have been divorced for 7 years with a steady G/F, neithier of which are HIV+. I have never had anal sex, only rimming and Blow jobs with me being the recipient. But just recently I began to experiment with giving BJs and have done so on 3 occasions out of the 12 sessions I have had. On one occasion, I had brushed my teeth about an hour before and my gums bled a little, plus I have 2 cavities in my mouth. I am extremely worried that I may have contracted HIV. Is it possible and do you have any mind assuring words?.
-
You were never at risk of contracting HIV, brushing or not.
-
Your saliva contains over a dozen elements which are very, very effective at inhibiting the transmission of viable HIV.
Although we do from time to time hear of cases of transmission via giving oral (never of receiving), the results of longterm studies of sero-discordant couples, (both gay and straight), who have lots of mutual unprotected oral and only protected vaginal and anal intercourse have been that not a single HIV negative partner has become infected.
Good sense does dictate if you have a big, fresh wound in your mouth or very poor oral care not to give head. But otherwise we don't consider it to be other than a theoretical risk. HIV transmission sexually is about unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Use condoms for those and you'll be well protected.
Cheers.
-
Thanks Rod and Andy, you guys do an awesome service for us all. I was just a little worried as you have heard before other sites say a little different, but I can tell ya"ll stay very informative and to the point. Was just worried about the cavities mainly. Have never allowed a guy to ejaculate in my mouth or do anal on me or vice versa, although the last guy I was with rubbed his penis between my cheeks but no penetration and I deepthroated him .still no worries right? would hate to give my G/F something.
-
Rapid Rod and Andy
I also forgot to mention that have herpes and have had most of my life with very few outbreaks. I have read that this puts me at a greater risk from HIV. With the same sessions I previously mentioned, does your risk assessment answers change? am I at a far greater risk now?
-
Herpies or not is still not a risk.
-
If you have unsafe sex during a herpes outbreak that might be a greater risk if you have unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse. But simply having herpes itself doesn't increase your vulnerability to HIV.
And as long as you consistently use condoms for intercourse you will be very effectively protected against sexual transmission of HIV. It's as simple as that.
-
Thanks guys, I was really worried that I may have contracted the HIV virus. So no need to get tested right?. I have never had anal sex, only oral with the mentioned sessions, and I only have unprotected vaginal sex with my G/F of 7 years who is totally HIV-. maybe my fear is telling me I should leave the expermenting with my BI side alone, but I really love the oral sessions.
-
No you don't need an HIV test over this.
-
Thanks Rapid and Andy for helping to ease my mind.you guys are great.never heard from Ann would have like that. So is there any reason when I feel the urge to get or give oral sex that I should seek some sort of protection? or not be concerned, like I said in my last post.I enjoy it from time to time.. I will wait on your replys and then consider this uneasiness closed, once again Thank you for all you do.
-
Suck,
You didn't hear from me because there was nothing to add to what's already been said. You don't need to test over this incident.
Ann
-
Thank you to all of you.......you guys and Ann are great.I will get over this fear and move on with my life. I has truly been a uneasy few weeks. I kept looking for symptoms to show or something and apparantly for nothing. I will not bother you again unless I need some advice from you. Thanks again.
-
Hey guys and Ann,
Just needed to talk to you guys again. I thought I had my BI side under control but I was wrong. I have had 3 more sessions since I last contacted you and on 2 occasions I did some sucking, seemed like the thing to do. On nethier occasions did they ejaculate in my mouth, and there has never been any anal sex period. I have been freaking out trying to come to terms with this and to put it behind me, but I havent been feeling well lately, headaches sorethroat, lethargic, etc. I have not had the money to get the cavaties fixed yet and have made a promise to myself that I am done with this lifestyle even though I enjoy it, I am too scared to continue. I just need you guys to help me one more time. SHOULD I TEST OVER THESE 15 SESSIONS? PLEASE HELP ME!!!
-
If your symptoms persist you should discuss them with your doctor. Based on what you have reported they have nothing to do with HIV.
No, there's no need for testing in relation to these incidents. However, we do suggest that anyone who is sexually active ought to regularly have a full STD panel done. That means at least once a year as other STDs are easier to acquire than HIV.
Cheers,
-
Andy,
Thank you man for the quick reply...The cavity and slight bleeding gums when brushing thing is whats got me worried I know that you should not give oral with bad dental care and mine isnt really that bad just 2 cavities. So I guess my real question is are cavities good and viable source of entry in to you blood for HIV? and is it possible that i could have contracted it that way?. I know nothing about testing so please help me out and I promise not to be one of those who keeps asking the same questions........I think you guys are great and really help a lot of people
-
No, a dental cavity would not be the means of transmitting HIV.
If you had a fresh, gaping and bleeding wound in your mouth and then gave oral I would say MAYBE there would be risk. But that's a very unlikely scenario. So again, I say you are worrying needlessly.
-
Thanks again Andy,
Just one last thing is it possible to get it with a canker sore or ulcer as some call them? I have had a couple of them recently and was worried that might be a way for the virus to enter.
I have been real upset for weeks and cannot get passed the possibility that I may have infected my G/F with HIV. I could never tell her about this secret life I indulged in or that would be the end for us.... and you know how love is. So for the last time (unless I need you guys again) no risk factor for all of my indulgences and no need to test.right???
Thank you for your help and for all you do
-
Nope. No risk factor via canker sores and whatever else you throw into the mix.
"...and you know how love is." Well, I do know how GUILT is and as far as I am concerned that is what this about. You are dog like a lot of us and you went straying to explore your taste for something new. You can't undo that. See it, take a breath, let it go and get on with your life. And if you can't, then see a therapist or other professional to get some support and talk things out.
This is not an HIV situation. Period.
-
hey guys I just had a question. My G/F of over 7 years has been developing some problems that seem to coincide with my extra cirricular activities It maybe just menopausal symptoms but it has me extremley worried. as you know she doesnt know about my activities, but she has late developed late ( after 28 days) spotty periods and low pelvic cramps, almost like "charlie horses" she says just above her hairline. Given the previous sessions we talked about, could this be a mere coincedence or is it possible I gave her something. I have noticed every once in a great while I will get a light sting in the penis head that quickly goes away and does not come when urinating. Is it time I got tested for all stds.including hiv? This may def be one for Ann.
-
Move on.
-
Whatever is going on has nothing to do with HIV and HIV is exclusively what we deal with here.
You can't give your gf HIV because you don't have it. Period.
If you think you have something else then discuss it with your doctor.
You're moving in the direction of getting a time out here because you can't keep coming back with the same problem wrapped up in some new fear.
-
Andy,
I know Im close to getting time out although I have not been on here for a while...But I am still scared to death...recently I developed 3-4 canker sores under the front of my tounge..I read on webMD that this can be attrbuted to a weak immune system or HIV. My G/F has had the flu symtoms now for at least 4 days and I had a couple of more sessions since I talked to you last...could this possibly be hiv?...man I just need to put this to rest...again no anal just oral.......is it at all possible.if you say NO I will let it go.please help
-
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
-
Neither your canker sores nor what your gf is experiencing are in anyway HIV-specific problems. They occur for all sorts of reasons. I answered your concern about previously in May about canker sores.
You've already been told what our thoughts are about your non-risk situation.
If you come back again about this same incident you are going to get a 28 day time out. Consider yourself warned. This is not an HIV situation. You're a guy who strayed and is now struggling with the after-effects emotionally. Get some professional help if you can't get over this. We can't resolve that for you in this setting.
-
Hey ANN and the guys,
I know I am going to get a time out for this.....but before you do.... can you please just answer one question?. I am going to leave you alone after this and I see a lot more posts than mine getting answered........so PLEASE do this for me. My G/F struggles with a recurring horrible vaginal itch and I had an anal itch that was bothersome for about a week and seems to have gone away..I hate to be so descriptive but I dont know another way to put it. She also keeps getting sinus problems matted eyes, sore throat etc. I am not sure what to do or what direction to go in...I have had maybe two sessions where I did some sucking since I last contacted you but thats all. Maybe if ANN could answer this from a female perspective I would feel better.... My only hope and prayer is that I nor my G/F have been infected..she has just been given two beautiful grandkids and I would die if I have given her HIV... SO PLEASE just answer me and I promise this will be the last time. Thank you.
-
My G/F struggles with a recurring horrible vaginal itch and I had an anal itch that was bothersome for about a week and seems to have gone away..I hate to be so descriptive but I dont know another way to put it.
Suck,
Go see your doctor about your itch. What ever is going on has nothing to do with hiv. You never had a risk.
And yes, keep posting about your NO RISK incident and you WILL be given a time out. This is your last warning.
Ann
-
Hey guys
I have not been on here for a long time because I did not want a time out but.. I have to talk to somebody. I have ceased all of my Bi sessions after the last one ( where I was the receptive one) about 2 months ago. about a day or two after that session I noticed 2 blister like sores on my penis head. that wont go away and now my G/F has developed a rash on her stomache with extremely tender and sore skin all over.... I am scared to death that I have given her hiv because I know that one of the symptoms is unexplained rashes due to weak immune system. Just please tell me that I havent given us both the virus. I know that you guys are getting tired of these posts.but I just needed to talk to you. She is in extreme pain all over her skin with a rash on just the left side of her stomache and me with these blister like lesions is freaking me out..please help me
-
I've merged your threads. Please follow our rule and keep all of your entries in this same thread.
As long as you have not had unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse outside of your relationship then there is no reason to think HIV is an issue for you. Your girlfriend's rash may or may not be related to something you've passed on to her. You both need to see your doctors to find out what's up. We can't diagnose anything here. All we can do is tell you that based on your reports there is no basis on which to think HIV is your issue.
Go see your doctor and get a proper diagnosis.