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Author Topic: Have you lost any family members to HIV?  (Read 2504 times)

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Offline Val

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  • Posts: 938
  • Praxitèles -- Satyre au repos
Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« on: March 07, 2007, 11:37:30 AM »
I was reading some posts this afternoon and suddenly broke down and cried.  And even though this do not happen often,  when it does I remember my two beautiful princesses that died some years ago.  In fact, my family has paid a high price to AIDS!
One of them was my sister-in-law who just could not come to terms with taking her medicines while she could do it.  When she finally became kind of used to it, her time in this planet came to an end quickly.
I also lost a dear cousin to HIV.  She was the most beautiful brunette you could imagine with her blue eyes and lovely personality.  My cousin did not have the chance we do today.  The only medecine available to her back then was AZT!
We are still two persons living with HIV in my family: a nephew of mine who became poz at a very young age and myself. He is married and has a little daughter and is doing fine after a long, hard battle with all the members of the family.  The reason?  He also hesitated and almost died before finally deciding to adhere to his medecines.  He is blind on his left eye and it was after this incident that he woke up and made a plea to take his life and destiny in his own hands...

Val
___
___

Arthus Bertrand
http://www.yannarthusbertrand.com/yann2/affichage.php?reference=TVDC%20YABFR084&pais=France
Ali Mahdavi
http://asyoudesireme.online.fr/index.htm
Richard de Chazal
http://www.richarddechazal.com/
Daniel Nassoy
http://www.danielnassoy.com/pages/galeries_portraits_2.html
Photography:
The word comes from the Greek words φως phos ("light"), and γραφίς graphis ("stylus", "paintbrush") or γραφή graphê, together meaning "drawing with light" or "representation by means of lines".

Offline AlanBama

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Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2007, 12:24:34 PM »
Yes I have Val.   My cousin Mark, that I grew up with.   We did everything together as kids.    He died in 1990, completely consumed with KS.   I think of him often.   Part of the reason I keep on fighting is because of him.

Hugs,

Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Val

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Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2007, 06:00:18 PM »
Oh dear Alan,
I do know what you're talking about and can feel your pain as well.  This afternoon was rather difficult to live through, for it marked the 10th anniversay of my dear cousin's death. 
And what's more difficult to bear is the fact that she died just when the Protease Inhibitors were made available in France.  I miss her so much! And it hurts.

Val
___
___
Arthus Bertrand
http://www.yannarthusbertrand.com/yann2/affichage.php?reference=TVDC%20YABFR084&pais=France
Ali Mahdavi
http://asyoudesireme.online.fr/index.htm
Richard de Chazal
http://www.richarddechazal.com/
Daniel Nassoy
http://www.danielnassoy.com/pages/galeries_portraits_2.html
Photography:
The word comes from the Greek words φως phos ("light"), and γραφίς graphis ("stylus", "paintbrush") or γραφή graphê, together meaning "drawing with light" or "representation by means of lines".

Offline aupointillimite

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  • FUS DO RAH!
Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2007, 06:04:13 PM »
My aunt's first husband died of AIDS related complications in the early 90s.

He had been a heroin addict years before...
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Teresa

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Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2007, 06:10:32 PM »
I had a cousin and his wife both die of AIDS in the 90s. He grew up in California and me in Kansas. I only saw him once a year when we were kids. Never saw him after we grew up. They had 2 kids and thankfully they are negative.

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline sdcabincrew74

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Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2007, 06:16:25 PM »
Unfortunately yes, I lost two uncles, a cousin and an aunt ... all to PCP in the late 80's early 90's .... seemed like everytime we were getting on a plane it was to go to a funeral .... on a lighter note, yeah they say that homosexuality is not genetic, whatever there is a ton of it in my family.....
The difference between an overnight and a layover is luck!

Offline Val

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Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2007, 06:16:46 PM »
That's interesting what you say, Teresa.  My nephew's wife and daughter are both negative as well.  And I consider it a miracle, for he had unprotected sex with her for quite a long time before finding out he was poz!
The doctors could not explain for his wife, but everything was done to safeguard the baby's health during pregnancy and at birth so she would not be infected.

Val
___
___
Arthus Bertrand
http://www.yannarthusbertrand.com/yann2/affichage.php?reference=TVDC%20YABFR084&pais=France
Ali Mahdavi
http://asyoudesireme.online.fr/index.htm
Richard de Chazal
http://www.richarddechazal.com/
Daniel Nassoy
http://www.danielnassoy.com/pages/galeries_portraits_2.html
Photography:
The word comes from the Greek words φως phos ("light"), and γραφίς graphis ("stylus", "paintbrush") or γραφή graphê, together meaning "drawing with light" or "representation by means of lines".

Offline Teresa

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Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2007, 06:30:53 PM »
I never knew if the mother got HIV before or after she had the kids. I do know that they had the kids tested several times, even after both parents had died and they are negative. I don't know all the facts since I wasn't close to them. Just going by what other relatives have said.

Glad your nephews wife and daughter are negative. Its hard to understand why some get infected and others don't. We were together 6 yrs before we found out. We used protection most of the time for birth control. But there were times we didn't. Now we use condoms every time!

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline Ihavehope

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  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2007, 07:28:28 PM »
in 1993, I was 12 years old a cousin of mine died of an "illness". I overheard my mother talking to my aunt and they mentioned pneumonia. He was married with 2 kids and was genuinely very handsome. 12 years after his death I met a handsome guy in his early 40's at a club and we dated for about 2 months and he mentioned he dated someone who looked very much like me and his name was Victor, which happened to be my cousin's name. I asked him several questions about Victor and the one thing that stood out the most was that he mentioned he worked in an Antique store in Manhattan near Lexington Ave. By then I knew it was my cousin Victor, and I asked him why they broke up and he said because he was married and the relationship wasn't going anywhere but they remained good friends but he died of AIDS in the early 90's. So that is how I found out I had a relative who died of AIDS.
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline IzPoz

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  • God, grant me the serenity...
Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #9 on: March 07, 2007, 08:27:41 PM »
My husband lost his fight to AIDS a little less than two years ago.

We found out when our daughter was 10 months old.  I'm pos, and my daughter is thankfully negative.
The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

Offline koi1

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Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #10 on: March 07, 2007, 10:31:25 PM »
My brother in law"s brother died a few years before HAART. I took him to the emergency room with my ex when I was 22. I visited him at the hospital and was entertained and saddened by his hallucinations which were real to him, yet he knew his mind was going. Fourteen years later, I learned of my diagnosis. He was admirable, since he made sure all of his affairs were in order before giving up the fight. That meant leaving his two daughters with resources to live in his absence. I still remember what a fine person he was and is in my heart. I love you very much Noel.

Rob
« Last Edit: March 08, 2007, 08:22:16 PM by koi1 »
diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

Offline randym431

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  • Posts: 1,125
Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #11 on: March 08, 2007, 10:17:55 AM »
This is an eerie subject for me. My cousin, my same age, found out in 1989 and died in 1991. I knew of aids back then, but never knew of anyone with it, back then. I watched my beach boy looking cousin turn into an old stick of a man in just months time. I never understood what he was going thru, but he gave a good fight. I was neg back then, and the day my cousin died he was waiting in his doctors office for his checkup. I was at home and right at 3pm I felt (not heard) but felt a loud scream in my cousins voice, yelling my name. It was so strange of a feeling that I grabbed and called my cousin on the phone, but he wasn’t home. About one and a half hours later, his partner was at my door in tears, and told me John had died. And at 3pm.
I always felt, in my cousins last second on earth, that he seen into the future and knew I too would face this virus someday. He was trying to warn me in that last effort of his will. Or at least, now, thats what it seems. After his death, and up until my diagnoses in 2005, I always felt he was trying to warn me of something, but what? Now I know. Yea, this sounds eerie, but thats how I feel about it all.

Just a few months ago I found out one of my nieces boys confided in her that he "thinks" he is gay. He's 18 and now wants to move out to L.A. (from iOwa). I worry about him. Its just too easy to make one mistake of poor judgment, and get this awful virus.

Offline david25luvit

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  • Member since March 2005
Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #12 on: March 09, 2007, 12:21:40 PM »
Indeed Val...I have.  My first cousin Billy died during the first wave in the early 80's....his mother my Aunt
still says he died of luekemia....but I know better.  I've had several friends who passed away in the late
nineties and most recently my lover David died a little over two years ago.  And Yes occasionally I am brought
to tears thinking of him.  He was 32 and had already spent half his life positive.  A heavy price indeed....
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline edfu

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Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #13 on: March 09, 2007, 11:43:18 PM »
Not to get maudlin or unreasonable, but it's a long-expressed fact that many gay men create their own "families" with their circle of close friends, often due to negative feedback from their "biological" families.  I believe that to be true, and, if so, I must admit that I have lost all of my immediate gay family--all of my close friends. 
"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline Nancy

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    • The Human Solution International
Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #14 on: March 10, 2007, 11:52:08 PM »
I lost my baby brother, he left us before he saw 30 back in 1991, 2 years before my diagnosis.  He was another one of the 'AZT only' people who never had a chance. 

He's the reason I haven't given up the fight.
Deborah Cadigan-Little
Diagnosed Oct 1993
Member since Sept 2002
Meds Dec 2003

Offline Val

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Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #15 on: March 15, 2007, 08:38:58 AM »
I commiserate with all of you on your misfortunes, pain and remembrance.  As for me, I find solace with the fact that the two princesses that died in my family did not suffer much.  Actually, they crossed the Styx  almost as normally as one could expect.   And this, usually and especially when one is young, is not the case with HIV.  I've heard of so many people that suffered atrociously before finally expiring ...

And I find interesting the point made by Edfu!  It  never really occurred to me that someone would think like that.  Good point, though,  that proves this French saying somewhat irrational:
..."On choisit ses ami(e)s, mais pas sa famille!"

Val
___
___
Arthus Bertrand
http://www.yannarthusbertrand.com/yann2/affichage.php?reference=TVDC%20YABFR084&pais=France
Ali Mahdavi
http://asyoudesireme.online.fr/index.htm
Richard de Chazal
http://www.richarddechazal.com/
Daniel Nassoy
http://www.danielnassoy.com/pages/galeries_portraits_2.html
Photography:
The word comes from the Greek words φως phos ("light"), and γραφίς graphis ("stylus", "paintbrush") or γραφή graphê, together meaning "drawing with light" or "representation by means of lines".

Offline Cliff

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Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #16 on: March 15, 2007, 08:50:34 AM »
My uncle.  We called him Lionel Richie, cause he resembled the singer.  Quite small and slim on the outside, but very strong on the inside.  He worked (hard) up until the week he died.

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: Have you lost any family members to HIV?
« Reply #17 on: March 15, 2007, 01:08:34 PM »
Hi Val. At one time my sister had a common-law husband "M".

Well, M's mother (my nephews' grandmother) was HIV positive and she passed away in 2004 or 2005 I was told  :'( but other than that no one gave me details. I assume the cause of her death was HIV. She was not extremely old.  :(

« Last Edit: March 15, 2007, 01:27:44 PM by allopathicholistic »

 


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